| |
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:38:29 AM |
er, um, i am sorry to say but your comments make me think that you have never taken the subway here! i ride the subway every day of my life all over brooklyn and manhattan to get everywhere i need to go...
er, um, i am sorry to say but your comments make me think that you don't understand geometry.
 | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/19/2007 6:58:11 AM | | Fact of the matter is (read the OP carefully now) she'd had warning that he wasn't all that... she ignored it. Of course he was rude... he'd already shown her "rude" she let it slide. Nothing like giving a pass on rude behaviour to get it thrown at you again. | |
|
| |
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/19/2007 2:00:57 PM | tdh has the right attitude. Guy was out of order to do that.
20 blocks! That's 2.5 miles? You walked that? And he let you! Kudos to you, to be in that good shape. Bad for him, letting you walk all that way. He's a man, he should have picked you up.
What's this got to do with the tallness, though? Do you think that this happened because he was tall? It's possible. We've seen so many threads on how women don't date short men, it's very likely to give tall man a feeling like they can have any woman they want.
The thing about the "Pill" was uncalled for. I know women who would have given him something to remember from the date. In his private parts. In public. And he would not have liked it. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/20/2007 4:04:59 PM | | I'm in great shape, this had nothing to do with how tall he is other then it was a very short date (I did not mean to offend anyone, sorry). | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/20/2007 5:16:31 PM | | If he didn't offer you his seat within the 1st 60 seconds you should have just left and not said a word . You were too polite,he probably still lives at home with his mother . | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 2:12:37 PM |
Geez! When did women become so sad that they think it's sinful to spend a man's money on a date? Men don't mind fulfilling the traditional roles as the bredwiner.
Men are happy to fulfill chivalous duties for women. And all you women are short changing yourself if you're not able to realize that about men.
I dont think anyone thinks its sinful for a man to spend money on the day.
Just wrong to assume that they must.
Additionally, its pretty clear not ALL MEN are happy to "fullfill chivalous duties" because if it were true, her date would had paid for her date and there'd be no discussion here. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 2:27:13 PM | Dear OP,
I think you were both as bad as each other.......yes he was rude not to offer you his chair or pay for your drink.......but equally rude of you to voice your opinions about his rudeness.......just a case of non-compatability!!!
Nicki x | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 2:44:28 PM | | I'd offer you my chair, but I wouldn't pay for your drink. Theres a fine line between chivalry and supplication. The very fact that you are there dosen't make you special. I'll pay for drinks no sweat for my friends, but a random chick I just met is a different story. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 3:38:38 PM | dont think anyone thinks its sinful for a man to spend money on the day.
Just wrong to assume that they must.
I think it's wrong to assume that women would want to pay for a date just because they work for their own money. To get to the depth of the problem when your grand father was a young man the men had to pay for the dates because they had the jobs that were giving them the finances to pay for dates. Women were not making the money to pay for the dates. It was fair that the man pay for the date if they wanted companionship from a woman. So to make this a debate about traditional dates vs modern dates which I know some people in this thread are trying to spin it that way are making fools of themselves. There were practical reasons why men paid for dates that had to do with the fact that men were controlling the power structure.
Women were fighting for women's rights before the 1960s came along, but as we know feminisim didn't have strong dominance till 1960s and the 1970s. And those two decades the 60s, and 70s was a period that society was challanging the power structure and you can say for feminists challanging the standards of courtships was also a way of challanging the power structure. Men were able to use money and power to dictate the standards of courtship therefore men had preceived dominance in the relationship that related to the power structure. Feminists felt they needed to challenge the standards of male/female relationships in order to loosen the standards of the power structure. But I think there is a generation of women that feels 50/50 is not the standard for everyone. And sadly I think feminism has made men feel entitled to act egotistical and selfish toward women because they think women want to be super women and rule the world.
Additionally, its pretty clear not ALL MEN are happy to "fullfill chivalous duties" because if it were true, her date would had paid for her date and there'd be no discussion here.
I'm only 30 years old and I can honestly tell you times may have changed but people haven't. You have good men and you have bad men. Good men want to treat women like ladies. Bad men just want to take advantage of women. Good men still want to be breadwiners. Bad men won't care to keep house.
I don't understand the people on this thread that want to justify this bad date and inply the OP could have saved the date and maybe had a good time if only she was willing to put up with rude behavior and paid the lousy five dollars. CRAP!!! She tried to save the date by asking him if there was any justicfication for his behavior and his response was to huff and puff get mad and walk out. Who needs that? If that was his response to her this date wasn't going to last long anyway.
I have dated men who were willing to buy me drinks, meals, movie tickets, club passes and Broadway shows without asking anything in return other than a good night kiss. And Yes! I date men my own age. I don't try to date guys that are too young or too old for me. I think the OP can afford to keep her standards high and look for men that want to pay for dates.
  | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 4:20:02 PM | I agree.....you cant expect so much! you just met the guy, give him a chance.
Hey, at least you got a drink and a good walk, walking is good for you! | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 7:13:24 PM |
I'll pay for drinks no sweat for my friends, but a random chick I just met is a different story. Um, this was no random chick. The OP was invited out to meet this guy by this guy; that implies via etiquette he pays since he invited her out to meet him. Random would mean there was no communication beforehand; the woman walks into a crowded bar and stands in front of a strange guy, of course she hasn't earned a drink due to her random behavior. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 9:07:51 PM |
I think it's wrong to assume that women would want to pay for a date just because they work for their own money. lol and men are just born with the desire to spend all their money on dates? This is just silly. The implication that men are bad if they don't pay is ludicrous. before I get flamed, I pay for all my first dates and probably 90% of all the dates I go on. Sometimes as I get in a relationship it gets to be more like 3 or 4 to 1 or something depending on relative incomes. A lot of times I make 2-4 times as much money as the woman so it makes a lot of sense for me to keep paying. On the other hand I've dated women who make more money than I do and frequently they pay for some of the dates and travel etc. but rarely if ever do they pay half. I'm not even trying to argue the point that men shoudn't pay, that's not my position, it's just your expectation that's kind of annoying. Like men owe you something. Calling the guy bad is pretty over the top and it's that kind of attitude that puts men off.
We're not living in the olden times. Women pay for a lot more dates now than ever before simply because the financial distribution of wealth has changed. It's ok for a guy in 2007 to choose not to pay for all the dates. That's reality, there are both men and women on this thread saying they no longer expect the man to always pay. Are they all wrong? Some of them nen are simply bashing the guy in the hope that they will look traditional and virtuous, without really any semblance of a factual basis. We have one side of the story and I'm not coming down on her but neither of these people communicated very well their expectations nor handled themselves particularly politely. Live and learn.
Thos men that asked nothing but a good night kiss eventually wanted to bed you. They were paying because they saw that as the path to seeing you naked at some point down the line. Without the possibility of sex at some future point few of them would have been very interested in feeding you, unless of course you're fashion model attractive then some of them would feed you in order to gain status among their friends and associates by parading you around. Never doubt there is a certain economy of trade offs going on and you're part of it. That's reality. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 9:19:37 PM | wow. i think i could have walked twenty miles while i read this thread.
First, he should have given you his chair. That one's a no-brainer...even for a girl making six digits with her MBA.
I've read all the pros and cons on the drink thing...I would have to agree with the old school that he should have bought her drink for her, but judging from her tone thru this thread, about paying for sex by buying drinks, and having a rocking body, and having pre-ordained expectations of other's behaviour, I'm inclined to think I would have bought the little princess her drink and then told her I had to leave....some folks aren't anywhere near as pretty as they make themselves out to be. It sounds like another poster from the school of driving on a saturday morning to meet halfway for coffee.
Why so harsh? Simple. The Op has made it clear she thinks she has a brain on her shoulders with her income and her little degree there. However, the man in question, as mariachi, shemalia, prolib and many many others have pointed out, discussed sex, or brought up sex, a number of times on the phone with her, and had a number of other red flags..and she still wanted to meet him...Umm, OK. lol..Leads me to believe she probably told him on the phone she had a rocking body...
So the girl with the brain obviously wasn't using her's because he probably figured he was meeting a slut, which is how it kind of sounds to me....then when he realized it wasn't a real slut, just one that led him on to believe he was probably getting some, he left.
Bad match. Op shouldn't mislead people with her assumptiveness toward other peoples behaviour as these assumptions lead to paradoxes within a profile stating non-controlling. If you're going to assume I should buy you a drink a couple of minutes after meeting with me, even though I would buy it, you're controlling...but you wouldn't be controlling me thanks. There is a difference between a woman expecting and appreciating gentlemen ways, and a woman that just expects it with seemingly little genuine appreciation. The seemingly, being based on your comments in your thread of getting sex by buying meals and drinks...and your definition of what being a man is and what being a crappy man is. That's just a pathetic girl dressed up as a woman..
He sounds like a turd. But OP doesn't sound too far behind either with her caustic remarks 5 or 7 minutes into a date or a meet or whatever you want to call it. Sounds like this thread has gone as well as the date. OP with her degree hopefully got the critical thinking ability that presumably goes with that degree to hopefully go thru your thread OP and see where some of the misunderstandings lie here in your approach to "speed-dating". The young girl from Alberta is quite right in asking how well you really get to know people if you're already posting your first male-bashing thread after being on here only a very short period of time.
Good luck in the future. Nothing personal about the bashing. lol. If it wasn't you it would have been someone else I'm sure. Like one poster says: "Welcome to the PoF dating Forums."
| |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 9:37:21 PM | He did you a favor, by showing his true colors right off the bat.
He is an obnoxious moron, IMO. Manners are a must, and he doesn't have ANY. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 9:40:53 PM | Meeting a new person:
You arrive first -- take a seat at the bar.
The person you are to meet walks in and up to you.
You rise, greet them, ask if they are comfortable -- would they like a seat -- would they like to move to a table. Something like that.
He didn't do that. Trash the boor. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/21/2007 10:48:01 PM | I would bet that IF the man found the girl ATTRACTIVE to him, he would have given up that chair in a New York minute .
Seems he was not interested in making a good impression or investing anything into this "date" Perhaps, the use of the word "date" was his final straw, as he just considered it a "meet n greet" | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/22/2007 1:49:52 AM | I can only be thankful that I've yet to date any girl who is stuck-up enough that she'd be offended if I let her pay for her own drink.
If I don't have a drink, most of the time I will offer to get her one too. If I already have one, I'm sure she's capable of getting her own. If I do get the first round, she will offer to get the next one. I don't know how people manage to make such a big deal of this.
If I ever do go out on a first date and a girl tells me I should be paying for us both, I think I'll just tell her I am in fact being ultra-considerate, and only not paying because I didn't want to make her feel like she had to repay the favour by having sex with me  | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/22/2007 2:01:19 AM | A lot of people have a lot of opinions, and the points are all presumably valid.
In the final analysis, other opinions are like a$$holes: everyone has one. In the final analysis, this leads a search into oneself. Stick to your values.
Vy ist der olvez moor orziz azzis dan der ist orziz? | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/22/2007 3:43:08 AM | The implication that men are bad if they don't pay is ludicrous. before I get flamed,
Then don't try to debate me if you don't want to get flamed. And YES! Real men want nothing more from a woman than her intimate company DUH!!!
Honestly! No real man cares if I buy him a rose to show my appreciation for his company. And real women are impressed by men that willing to fluant themselves as providers. Men don't think like women and women don't think like men. THAT'S REALITY
| |
|
iris43
| | Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 222 | |
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/22/2007 9:14:57 AM | If I'm meeting someone and he gets there first and orders a drink fine, I show up and I get my own also fine....I get there and there is no place to sit and he makes no effort to offer his chair or find us a table.....he is a low ender with no class.
Be happy OP that he showed he true colors off the bat and that you didn't have to waste your time.
When I have met someone the man has always offered to pay, never have I expected it, he gets huge points for offering, if he expected to split and wanted a second date, there would be no second date even if I was interested.(he's cheap) If I choose to split the bill its because I know there is no second date. | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/22/2007 2:41:01 PM |
Then don't try to debate me if you don't want to get flamed. LMAO uh oh I'm in trouble now. Flaming does not equal debating, unless you're 13 or your emotional growth is stunted.
Who said anything about buying a rose? What does "intimate company" mean? We might be on the same page here, I think they're buying you dinner not to get a rose but in the hopes of "deflowering" you later. This isn't the same as a rose but it could be defined as "intimate company". I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they're not after you for your stimulating intellectualism.
Men don't think like women and women don't think like men? Wow, that never occurred to me, or anyone else I imagine. It's really great you're enlightening us all with barely coherent emotional outbursts. I guess if you're going to flame/debate me you probably should invest in a thesaurus and a spell checker. People take what you're writing alot more serious when you're "fluent" in the language and can "flaunt" it.
Men mostly pay for dates, I get it and I ascribe to the theory. It's part of the deal but you're missing the point entirely. It's not about who pays it's about attitude the callous expectation that you deserve this treatment is a little unflattering in that "self absorbed gold-digger" sort of way. Part of being treated like a lady is being polite and appreciative towards a "gentleman". | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/22/2007 5:04:20 PM |
uh oh I'm in trouble now.
I've been trying to tell you this. Men...sigh...they just don't listen. 
Men mostly pay for dates, I get it and I ascribe to the theory. It's part of the deal but you're missing the point entirely. It's not about who pays it's about attitude the callous expectation that you deserve this treatment is a little unflattering in that "self absorbed gold-digger" sort of way. Part of being treated like a lady is being polite and appreciative towards a "gentleman".
I have to agree. I have been single 7 years ~ I've have NEVER paid on a first date. Not that I haven't offered, but the offer has never been accepted. And in turn, even if it was not a date leading to a second date, I have never failed to make a thank you call and usually an ecard thank you if it was an online thing. I've been on two very extravagant first dates in the past 7 years. Once in a lifetime, type situations ~ and in all honesty, I was not only astounded, I was stunned at the generosity extended to me ~ simply because I did offer to pay at least my half. Both refused any financial contribution from me ~ and even now, I cringe when I read what some people expect. Some men expect 50/50; some women expect to be treated in x, y, z, mannerisms ~ I think it's rather simple: I'll be treated exactly how I treat them. If that is not the case, we are clearly mis-matched. Even in a miserable situation (which I've had quite a few ~ icky ~ I hate first/last dates) I never felt the need to be obvious or nasty about it. What does that do? It makes me look like a creep and would most likely make me feel worse than that.  | |
|
| Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/22/2007 5:21:29 PM | slysterling:
Since when is a confident woman who is proud of her body because she worked hard at is a slut? If a woman is confident, smart, successful how does that make her a bad person?(the points were made here to show she was not desperate because people were so harsh and insulting...like you are being now).
I hate bringing up Dr Phil...but..."We give people permission on how they treat us." She voiced her opinion in a nicer way than I would have and gave him a chance to redeem himself. He chose the door. She brought the issue to the forum to find out what people thought in general about the subject, not to get subjected to abuse.
You assumed she told him she had a rocking body, she didn't say she told him but you are making false assumptions and insinuations that are pretty harsh about my sister.
Anyways, what if a woman didn't say she had a rocking body to describe herself? Are you saying she should have instead made herself sound like a good year blimp? Would you still assume a woman was slutty? "Oh babe, you can beach this whale anytime!" Feel better?
The subject is about paying for the date or not and having enough manners to find her a chair. Please stick to the subject and refrain from demeaning, insulting and insinuating as you were not there.
Anyways, I think Thudpucker's last statement was directed at you. It's just a hunch.
Nuff Said!
P.S. My last conversation with the man whom I am dating was a little of a reality check for him (even though I've paid for half the date ) . I make in one week what he makes in 1 day. I work 2 jobs, the second one doesn't pay hourly, but may be more lucrative in the long run. So it's never even steven.
| |
|
Home
login 
