| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 8:35:26 AM | Go with your gut. If you feel you aren't getting the attention that you feel you need, then you two aren't a match anyway. I have always felt that if the desire is present to get to know someone, then the time is spent together, accordingly.
I also agree with piquebu, the 'kid in the candy store' theory absolutley describes it! Both men and women are guilty of it as well, this is not gender specific.
I've heard people say, 'Oh, I'm talking on here with friends." Baloney. That's what the telephone is for, or if you aren't at that state of a friendship, then use msn or yahoo.....
I think at a certain time in a relationship, be it one month of dating or three,...the decision needs to be made that the profiles come down....
My two cents! | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:14:50 AM | I I am old enough to be your dad or grand dad, or great grand dad.
Since you have sex like most of us, only your honest about, It a non issue. (don't tell ANY ONE policy is best)
Now, the issue is this guy some one you can build a relation ship with. Now is a little late to be asking such questions. But since your where you are in the relation ship, what has this supper star said to. If he says your the only one and you all have agreed to only see each other. Then he a ass hole and you should drop him regard less how you feel about him.
You, sound like a good person, and probably fun to be with. And you give freely of your self, that the way it is to day. You should in the beginning find out what his intentions are,
If you guy want to play around prior to commitments that your business, If that all your just going to be f-buddies that your business. This guy sounds to me like he led you to belive your relation ship going to have real commitment. Dump his ass this minuet
Hope this helps
corkeyfun  | |
|
| |
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:17:50 AM | My advise would be ~ continue with your life and rule nothing out.
You like him, enjoy him ~ just don't break your neck to accomidate him.
We are all competing with Something, ~ it's work, family, etc ~ if you feel
that you are coming up short ~ don't make a big deal of it ~ readjust your
time and priorities to accomidate what he's not giving that you yearn for.
Good relationships take much longer then a month to build. ~ even if your
very young.
I personally have relationships that started very much as you describe that
are over 20 years old. ~ We still are the best of friends ~ but no~ not lovers,
sorry
Dar | |
|
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:26:55 AM | "I'd like to reply to this but my g/f is on her way home and I don't want her to catch me looking at your profile...."
lol... that was funny!
I read through the posts... I am also wondering about the wisdom of listening to us versus say a counsellor who can see you, know your history and feel your vibes... Maybe you can check out that avenue too???
So, I guess I will throw in my two cents, lol. If you are not comfortable with something, communicate. Assume makes an ass out of u and me. Sounds like you don't want to keep fishing but he may or may not ??? If you want exclusivity, communicate that and see how he responds. It may then require him to make a choice and for you then to make one. | |
|
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:32:48 AM | JustRo,,,I believe you hit it right on.
There isn't much more to add.
Looking at profiles really does mean nothing. I myself am no longer looking to meet someone.... and No I havent found anyone...lol. still single.. but I still do come on here to read forums and look at whatever emails some people send me. Hard habbit to break I guess.
One month of dating is just that... to me dating means going out on dates with different people.... am I wrong?
I have been seeing the same guy for 2 months now,
I am still on, mainly for the forums but have met a lot of good friends through it,
I am not looking, do answer my e-mails when I get them and also peek at some of my viewers. he does the same and when I feel there might be more to the relationship I will change to not looking, I am honest with him about it.
| |
|
| |
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:34:22 AM | | Maybe I am old fashioned? But i look at online the same way I would real life. Say I go out, meet a guy, we have sparks or whatever u wanna call it, we go out a few times, I like him and then I find he dating others, well I would not bother with him, if you look at any serious relationship from real life most dated that one and not a bunch others. To me dating someone means exclusive, hanging out once in a while, is casual...you have to date a few to find the one, but if you meet and they are okay, why see them again and waste time dating them? I hope this makes sense? dating a person to me means ur only dating that one if it is on going...not dating them and a bunch of others...or you shoud tell them right off, this is just casual. I met alot of guys before from online, if i met and had no interest I told them right off, if I met and liked to hang again but only as frends I told them and if It was like ummm I kinda like ya I told them that to...and if i really liked them, which was only one guy, I did not have to tell him, he should have know by my actions..actions speak louder then words, so that is why I dont' feel you shoudl have to say ummm are we exclusive, u would just know. | |
|
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:37:56 AM | Well, it happened to me too.... with a guy I was dating for a while and my answer was....bye bye baby.
Obviously he contacted me and he told me that he thought I was the one that didn't want to committ...maybe he was right, maybe not.
Honestly I believe he's a player, but then again....
So enjoy and don't ever blame yourself, just try to understand if he knows where u stand...then make up your mind!
Un bacio
T
| |
|
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:38:42 AM | RE: BLADY message 29
"Maybe he is still signing on because he thinks you are still fishing in the pond when he sees that you are still signing on to see if he is still signing on..get it? "
That is so funny .. yet so very true.
Real life experience....mine....
I was dating someone and still active in the forums...
He was checking to see if I was still signing in but not bothering to see if I was actively posting. Assumption number 1. (he assumed I was still fishing)
I was seeing him log in and not message me. Assumption number 2. ( I assumed he was still fishing)
Anybody see where this is going?????
Oh yes...tempest in a teapot.....until I discovered that he was actually dating 5 of us from this site all during same time frame... days of the week as it were...
Needless to say... assumptions aside, his Tuesdays were suddenly freed up. It seems a few of the others had the same epiphany about the same time I did and he has since taken his pole to different waters.
Assumptions are not always wrong. Best way is still to ask questions though. Then you can deal with the answers you get , not what you think they might be. | |
|
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:42:43 AM | Dating
1. activity of going on dates: the activity of going out regularly with somebody as a social or romantic partner
there is teh meaning of dating. Dating can be many or one...if they are special it is one, if nto it is many. You have to date a person in order to get into a full blown relationship...but if ur dating many then none are that special...I can not say how it just upsets me how some think it is okay to date many and out of that many maybe you are important to him..no ur not or he would take his spare time or she to use that dating of other people to date you. Someone here please tell me of anyone they know that was dating different people and of those people married one of them? In other words, you met a guy today, then a few weeks goes by he is dating one of top of you, then days and another but decides to marry you, the 1st one? ever happened? | |
|
| |
| |
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 10:35:24 AM | I'm glad I saw this topic, it's something that been on my mind for awhile.
Over the years I've gotten a number of dates from online places, this site and others, chat rooms, etc., and I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me.
Things look great, we find common ground, there's clicking, phone calls, txts, emails, we go out a number of times, it lasts 1-2 weeks. It almost looks like the beginning of a relationship, I think I'm in. Then I go back online, to the site or chat room, and there they are, still active, talking to other ppl. It used to really piss me off. I used to think I was always getting played (sometimes I eventually found out I was). But now I've come to realize it's just par for the course.
Back in the "good ol' days" before online dating, heh, this sort of thing didn't happen as much. It was harder to meet ppl, you had to get introduced, meet through circles of friends, or just be in the right situation and get lucky. Not to say it's gotten much easier, however these days, as our existences have been reduced to pictures on profiles that are just a mouse click away, our lives ready to be scrutinized by wandering eyes, it's become a lot easier to "window shop".
It's pretty sad in a way, since it's become so easy to get glanced over, our profiles flipped through like magazines in rack, our value has been diminished. Before, it meant more to meet a new person. It was a lot more exciting, like "Wow, I'm really glad I ran into this person, out of all the people in the world..." It used to be feel like the planets had aligned to allow it to happen, it wasn't something that happened any day. But in this age of online dating, we just look at profiles, send out msgs, and wait for replies. It all feels so commonplace now. A lot of the "magic" is gone.
But oh well, it is what it is. For a lot of us who aren't able to just approach ppl out of the blue and mack, due to limited social abilities, such as in my case, or a busy lifestyle, or whatever, online dating is the best option for us. You got to consider it's pros and cons, sure it's easier to find ppl, sending msgs and building rapport is a lot easier than the rl approach, however the con is that because it's so easy, ppl can and will keep looking, even while you're in the running, and you could be passed up at the drop of a hat, if it looks like the grass is greener somewhere else.
Good luck out there. | |
|
| |
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 12:49:03 PM | First, thanks to all of you who have taken the time to reply to my post. Many hugs and much, much love!!!
Reading through your posts I've gained strength. That wasn't in my mind when I started this forum but now that I have it, I realize that is what I really needed.
After some reflection, I realize I was giving into my insecurities. Whether this guy is playing me or not has little to do with what is going on with me. I can't control what he does but I can control what I do. So for those of you who may be interested, here is my plan.
Continue to get to know him but back off on the sex (if he’s okay with that if not then I read the sign clearly). This is not to control him by any means but there is some self preservation here. I don’t think I could handle him (or anyone really) dating other people while we’re having sex. Also, it’s just not safe.
If we ever get to the point where we think we might be able to get into a monogamous relationship then sex can re-enter the picture.
Whatever happens, I need to stay true to myself and live the life that I want. If he sticks around great, if he doesn’t, I’m probably better off without him.
So, there it is. Whether that’s right, wrong, best or worst thing to do, I don’t know. I just know that is what will make me happy.
Again, thanks everyone!!!! POF hits it out of the park for stuff like this. | |
|
| |
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:48:13 PM | Did anyone else notice that OPie never said anything about being interested in HIM?
One way or another, we all keep our options open until we decide to close them. If this guy is ambivalent about OPie, he's got a lot of company. He should be cautious about becoming exclusive, and so should she. It doesn't make anyone a 'playa.'
OPie ought to follow his lead, and continue meeting new people. Nothing will pique the guy's interest like OPie turning down his invitation because of another date. It'll level that playing field, for sure.
But back to my original question. I have to wonder if OPie has any strong feelings (about this guy or anything else), or if she just wants to stop being single and is ready for whoever will couple with her. Because, I have to tell you, I've dated more than one woman who just wanted to get de-singled, and it wasn't attractive at all. In fact, it was generally pretty apparent that I was some kind of widget in her life plan. I always got out of there.
So, OPie, are you in love? Or are you just bored?
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
|
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:48:21 PM | ASK HIM his intentions. Some people are looking to sleep around, some are looking to rack up a lot of Favorites to soothe their egos, some are killing time while waiting for someone else to come around, some want to simply make a lot of friends. And some people want to take their time getting into a relationship.
But if someone tells you they're really busy with work or other things, and then they're on this site a lot, you are probably not their dream match (sorry) OR they're a player. Or, at the very least, he's not being fully honest with you about where you fit in. What you DO about that (whether see him casually or drop him) is up to you and your level of comfort. I've just been through a similar thing as you (though not as long and we did not get intimate, but it was someone I liked a lot and saw potential with) and I had to be direct about what I wanted and what she wanted, and I made my decision based on that. In fact, I've taken my profile offline for a little while because I've gotten a bit tired of the dynamics of online dating. Though this is a good site.
I hope this helps. I'm not sure it's a "male" perspective, but it's my perspective and I'm a male.
Good luck!
Sc | |
|
| Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:23:58 PM | | vulf-I'm not in love but i do like him a lot ... i probably wouldn't be feeling like this if I didn't. In fact, it's been a long while since I've felt this way about someone. Beleive me, I'm not looking to get de-singled. If that was the case I'd take back my ex who's been trying to get back with me for several years now. Also, I've seen others in the recent past who are interested and I could easily start something with them. But, I'm choosing not to. | |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
