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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 2:06:51 AM | Realistically though when a man marries a trophy wife it is purely for how they look and how they make them feel.
They want other men to feel jealous of what they have in a sense. What is the point? I would be far too worried that they would love the attention too much and sod off with someone a bit richer and who could offer them more lol | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 1:18:43 PM | Hmm, trophy wife, I visualize a woman's head above her husband's mantle  I wouldn't want to be considered a trophy much less someone's possession. That's just downright degrading.
Women with more than half a brain don't want to be known as "just a body" or a "trophy". If she's in a marriage it is because she desires to be valued as a human being and a woman, not what her body can offer. She's in a marriage because she values her husband's spirit. OP - you forget that most women today are smarter and have better skill sets than ever, to where they can go out and financially provide for themselves. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 2:50:00 PM | 1) Definition of trophy wife.
Nope, I'm not familiar with that concept. I thought I was, but the posts here of most of the men and the women have left me very, very confused. I thought a trophy wife was a woman that a man married purely because she looks good on his arm. Thus, that would be a woman that he is not attracted to, but his friends are. There is no implication that he is wealthier or older in that definition. That is all implied.
2) Trophy wife means rich man, not older man.
According to my mum, women of 18-22 would regularly marry a man in his late 30s and 40s, because he was financially stable. Also, before World War I, there never used to be this phenomenon of a young man who had the money or the time to date a lot. He was working all day for a pittance. So there was no stigma for a young woman marrying an older man.
Now that young men have the time and the money to date, the concept of a trophy wife, or a trophy girlfriend is applicable to them as well as to older men.
3) Trophy wife means attractive woman, not younger woman.
Poor medicine, lack of time, overwork, bad food, and loads of other factors, meant that nearly all people in their 30s looked like old men and women. So it was really difficult and rare to be an attractive woman in her 30s, let alone 40s, or 50s. Now, there are plenty of women in these age groups that would put a woman in her 20s to shame.
Also, because of the lack of chemicals in their food, and the active nature of life, young men and women tended to have clear skin, and slim, firm bodies.
As a consequence of this, the idea of an attractive woman nearly always meant a young woman. But now, there are many extremely attractive older women, and many unattractive younger women. So now, a trophy wife does not mean younger women, but attractive women.
4) Trophy wife means showing her off, not for loving them.
As I already stated, a young woman with an older man was socially acceptable. So where does the trophy come in? It only came in because some men were clearly not "into" their wife. They had nothing to do with each other, except when they both attended dinners and other social engagements that were for his work, to impress his bosses and his clients by showing how successful and powerful he was to have such an attractive and desirable wife.
So a trophy wife meant just that. A woman who was "mounted on the wall", or had a life that her husband had nothing to do with, except for showing her off, and for having kids. Maybe for sex, but that was not necessary for a trophy wife. She might cook and clean for her as well, if he didn't get a maid in.
But nowadays, a woman is not necessary to impress your bosses. They are more impressed by your CV.
Men don't need a woman to dress them anymore. They can get tips on dress sense from magazines.
Men can cook and clean for themselves. Hoovers, microwaves, TV dinners and modern conveniences make it easy to run your own house.
Loads of people come with kids from previous relationships, and kids are no longer seen as a requirement for a relationship.
So nowadays, NONE of these things are necessary. So a modern trophy wife is just a woman you have to show off to other people and to prove how powerful you are to get such an attractive woman. But it also means that you are not really there for love.
5) Trophy wife does not mean wife or marriage.
In older times, no-one got together publicly outside marriage. Pre-marital sex just wasn't acceptable like it is today. So you couldn't show off a trophy unless you were married. But now that pre-marital sex is acceptable, and type of relationship can include a trophy. A common-law wife, a life partner, someone who you live with, a girlfriend, a date, even a one-night-stand can all be trophy wives. The thing they have in common is that they are a trophy, something to brag about that you "bagged", "pulled".
6) Trophy wife means man, not rich man.
It used to be only acceptable for a woman to choose a man who was financially stable, or you would both starve. But now, women can earn money as well. Besides, with the welfare state, few people have to starve. It is an accepted fact that in the West, governments have to provide places for people to get money to eat, or at least to get something to eat. So women can choose men for love, or confidence, or any reason. Money is not necessary.
7) Trophy wife means person with attractive person, not man or woman.
It used to be seen that only women could be seen as attractive, and ALL men were not attractive. Enter Keanu Reeves, Brad Pitt and all the other pretty film stars. Nowadays, a man can be a trophy just as much as a woman.
Also, now that same-sex relationships are socially acceptable, just like opposite-sex relationships, the term can apply there too.
So a trophy wife can be any attractive person who is with a rich person, but is only there because they look good on the other person's arm.
8) Trophy wife means person with attractive person, for showing them off, not for loving them.
For the purposes of modern dating, it just means a man who is seeing an attractive woman that he is not in love with, and that he partially uses for "bragging rights", or to show off to his friends, or to impress his work colleagues, bosses and clients.
But according to that definition, a 19-year-old guy who has a one night stand with an attractive 18-year-old woman and brags about it the next day to his friends had a trophy wife for one night. The younger man who brags about the older "fit" woman he pulls, or is dating, has a trophy wife. The older man who brags about his "fit" older wife, but does not love her, also has a trophy wife.
Basically, any person you are dating, and care more about bragging about than about the person, is a trophy wife.
Guess what? Loads of young men ARE doing this. A lot of older men are, too. But older men are older, and they have learnt more about life. As men mature, they realise that bragging is stupid and immature, and that love is more important than how your friends perceive you.
SO STOP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, OR SHE IS A TROPHY WIFE!
Also, stop banging on about age differences. More people get hurt by people their age, than people of a different age. Life is funny that way. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 4:12:53 PM |
I'm afraid you misunderstood me, VGE. I am not taking these positions, but merely playing the Devil's Advocate with questions that contradict each other as to the assumption of who brokers the power in the relationship. My interest is in the debate. OK. I find it hard to believe you'd call women prostitutes and breeders if you were merely wanting a variety of opinions on the "trophy wife" topic ~ but maybe I just choose to read VERBATIM rather than selectively ~ ????? ~OT~ The next man in my life can call me his "trophy" whatever. I kind of like that idea. It's worth a try ~ I've tried most everything else. Intelligence certainly doesn't seem to withstand that hands of time, humor is seriously lacking from what I can see, commonalities are rare ~ so I'm re-thinking this "trophy" thing. I might be rather happy sitting on someone's pedestal. Aside from the whole "breeder" thing ~ why on earth have a baby? You cease to be the baby after that.  | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 5:01:17 PM | actually it starts with football and sports. everyone wants to win the championship cup. to be publicly acknowledged as the best. it is a highly prized public symbol of superiority.
some people just enjoy the game; winning or losing is not about the trophy cup for them.
you say that men take a wife that reflects their status. i would say they choose a wife who fits their self image. i don't see what is so bad about being involved in community activism and social events. i think its a good thing actually. work is good too. but i don't think one is better than the other or more superior. taking care of children at home and being a community activist IS work. so is working out. great figured women don't just go to the office and get fat eating bon bons....of which there are daily offerings. they keep that great figure by not eating lunch with the ones who get fat eating freebie bon bons at the office.
you ponder what marital relationships were like through the centuries when inheritances were important. though you stated it as 'powerful men.' kings and the nobility were not the only people getting married throughout the centuries. and i am sure you realize that commoners outnumber kings and nobility by 95%. Unfortunately, we really don't have any testimonial diaries left behind of how great or awful it was being married to a powerful man or someone with an inheritance. but i don't think it is as pleasant as you believe it to be.
what makes you think beautiful women don't deserve to work or shouldn't have to. it is more like they aren't allowed to. have you heard of sexual harassment. it is still a reality today. beautiful women are still the targets of sexual harassment at work. i bet you really think its wonderful and special to be hounded by fat ugly men day and night. only an unattractive person would think its 'easy' or special. do you think beautiful women deserve to be poor, hidden and locked away in the cellar? do you think ugly women are better than beautiful women? sounds like it. do you have an envy problem? are you saying beautiful women should not be allowed to escape ugly people or ugly circumstances? i, of course, think they should escape if it is not to their liking. i happen to think beautiful people deserve a lot better than what you think they deserve.
for the rest of your questions i am wondering if you live in england because you mention fairy tales that fit that society ONLY as far as monarchies and fiefdoms are concerned.
do you have any fairy tales that you particularly enjoy as a man? | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 6:26:48 PM |
Questions: Is this so different of how marriages to powerful men have manifested through the centuries? Is it the first wife that is the anomoly in this arrangement? Should beautiful women be allowed to escape poverty on looks alone? Is this merely confirmation that, for many women, fairy tales can come true? Is this prostitution legitimized by a wedding ring?
Hey trailman5, great question to ponder. I would say yes! While quite not the transactional based exchange of service for cash, as the oldest profession. But go to an Atlantic City casion on a Saturday night, and check out these dudes that are older and seem to have no shortage of cash. They are frequently accompanied by some young thing with a large chunk of carbon on the left ring finger. I would love to be a waiter at a restaurant, and ask them what kind of wine their daughter would like. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 9:38:47 PM | It is a con that these men and these women play on each other and themselves. They use each other.
<div class="quote"> This phenomena happens when middle-aged men reach a certain level of success in life and are (usually recently) divorced... perhaps due to sacrificing marital harmony for said success.
Actually I don’t think it has anything to do with success. I think it has to do with insecurity due to fears that come with reaching middle age (mid-life crisis). This is usually when they face the fact they are getting older and they want to regain their youth. Maybe they feel that life has passed them by and they feel insignificant and inadequate.
Correct me if I’m wrong- but usually in the pursuit of feeling young- they abandon all they have to feel young again. A lot of them get divorced because they want to re-invent themselves and create that new image with all the possessions (including a trophy wife) that give the illusion that they are young and successful. They reject all that is making them feel old. Usually one does not abandon the old life they lead unless they were not happy.
<div class="quote"> They then take a wife that reflects their status. This second wife tends to be significantly younger, less educated and stacked like a brick sh!thouse (maybe the bartender at the local Boston Pizza). They become stay-at-home moms and busy themselves with working out, community activism or social events (not careers).
The trophy wife is just that- a trophy. They tend to choose younger women that are physically well built and buy possessions that are meant to give and illusion of youth.
Would this not be to build themselves an image? They don’t want to feel powerless in their lives anymore, and their self esteem is usually a little low, and they struggle with who they are on the inside. I think the reason they surround themselves with posh material things (such as the tell tale red sports car) and the young woman who are less experienced than they are- is because it’s the easiest and quickest way to feel powerful.
Why do you think they would choose to marry someone less educated and without a career? I think it would be to simple hold all the power. They can be the ones that control the money and have the most experience. A woman with a successful career would ask for ( or demand in some cases) equality- would they not?
Personally I think it is an attempt to make themselves feel and look better than how they truly feel inside. Wouldn’t all the new material possessions, and young wife an attempt to gain praise and ‘respect’ from the world.
There is a saying:
<div class="quote">Some people buy things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t like.
Could it be that they need to create high status to compensate for feeling miserable about themselves inside? It is a mask. It covers up the fact that they feel worthless and acquire material things in an attempt to add value to themselves.
As for the women who want to become trophy wives, I feel sorry for them. Why would someone let their identity rest solely on their looks. They have put all their effort into looking appealing to the men. Why don’t they see there is more to themselves than their looks? To me there is no doubt that they are marketing themselves as potential trophy wives.
I have to admit that I have often wondered if these women play submissive (only to roar later) of if their need to be taken care of, stems from a ‘little girl’ type complex, or maybe just a sense of material entitlement.
I think each ( the men and women in this situation ) are playing their cards just to get that they think they want- or at least what they want in that moment. They are probably just using each other- and chances are they will be divorced (yet again) within a couple of years.
As for the marriages being legitimate, do you truly think a vow is legitimate if within one to two years after uttering the words ‘for richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc’ – they only divorce to seek out something better. Personally I think they mock marriage.
In the end, they tell tale signs are clear enough and I know its not what I want.
If both parties are in agreement to live this way- that is their choice. I hope it gives them the happiness they think they are looking for, I just feel bad for them when they start to realize the situation they put themselves in.
Q | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 11:05:25 PM | Excellent insight, Questamaya. I wonder who is considered a trophy wife by the public at large...
Kathy Lee Gifford?
Katie Holmes Cruise?
Anna Nicole Smith?
Kevin Federline? | |
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.Lisa
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Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 59 | |
| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/16/2007 11:06:57 PM | | @ money hungry desperate ****es | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 12:27:48 AM | | Verygreeneyez can be my trophy wife anytime!!! | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 2:33:38 AM | How do we know that these couples are not in love? Only they know what they feel for each other and what goes on behind closed doors.
Well thought out response from
Scorpiomover message 53. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 2:49:13 AM | the problem with trophies is they have a list of the previous winners all over them... | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 2:51:00 AM |  ^^^got to pay that | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 2:55:05 AM | Not everything you have in life has to akin to a trophy..
I'd like to live in a fancy apartment one of these days. I'd like to drive a nice car.
But, a wife is a human being, not a trophy. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:10:34 AM | Oh my... This thread hit a nerve...
I feel compelled to add to this thread in an other light...
I met a rich powerful man, (CEO), 10 years ago. We did have a considerable age difference... He was very, how can I say,... No crap kind of guy...
He was very cultured, very well read and was extremely perceptive and he knew what he wanted, when he wanted and where he wanted it...
That, to anyone that is interested, completely turned me on...
He would call me from Paris to tell me to go to his home on the following Friday. That he was in the mood to cook a good meal and "Wear something revealing." He would say... The whole week, I was like on a high... It felt good to be, yes I will say it, adored, worshiped, spoiled rotten... etc etc etc...
Now... I am a good listener and realy realy got to know him... I even got to know his strenghts and weaknesses... I then realized he was a very lonely man dealing with extremely complex issues where his decisions almost always affected employees down the line and also, their families... (ex: restructuring a part of the corporating... Shift in objectives = displacements of employees, sometimes loss of employment, etc.)... Also, he was accountable to the shareholders... blah blah blah...
I was, sort of speak, his playmate, toy... I realized I was his release... I was in a way to his eyes a "toy" to play with... I admit to that...
It was fun... but... well, for lack of better words... I got bored... He got to know me and I will always remember his face when I was reading a paper on "String thories"... I love physics and formulas... I have the web site link on my profile... Have a look if you are interested... Cool stuff... I remember his words... "Beauty and brawn... That, I did not bargain for..."... I just kept reading my paper... I was realy interested in the paper and I was not in the mood yet to assume the role of dumb playmate...
Anyway... With time, he got to like me much much more than what I believe he had bargained for... I also realy liked him but I realized that I not longer fit his idea of "the law of offer and demand" when it comes to relshionships... To this day, I believe he realy had deep feelings for me... Our relashionship was like... I knew that he knew that I knew that he knew... (On and on)... It was our unspoken truth...
I never lost respect. I just understood his way... I never married him... I could not even think of that possibility because I knew I would be unfaithful to him... I have more substance and I, well, I am not rich but I am financially independant... (His money and his toys, I do not need.)
All this to say, that those kinds of profile of men have lead very busy, ambitious lives. They need to actualize themselves and sadly that is one of the ways... Maybe, just maybe, finding someone "poor" is a way for them to fill a void and feel needed. Who knows...
I still feel his loneliness deep in his soul... I guess it is true when they say... " It is lonely at the top..."
Just adding an other angle to this thread... Please do not flame me... I am being honest. Hoping to bring an other way of looking at things...  | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:47:38 AM | that sounds like the bedside banter of Barbara Amiel....
and also that you enjoyed each others company for a while....
i guess its no so bad | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/17/2007 10:00:23 AM | | I can live with myself not being a CEO yet. I'm 26 and haven't finished law school. Of course, there are guys my age who are CEOs. Talk about growing up early. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:43:10 AM | I'm sure there are pretty women willing to crawl through s--t to wear a mink coat, drive a Mercedes, and live on Millionaire's Row...and there are a like number of controlling men whom promote that way of being...
If that's the case...then I guess the women had better stay pretty, appealing, and do their utmost to keep the man's interest...and hope they don't become "yesterday's news"...
...And to the "gentlemen"... You'd better keep your financial status in check, constantly on top, and strive to keep that bombshell's interest raised as well, because the competition is fierce...and there are others just like you whom will look for any excuse to "get in on your action"...
Sounds like a real shallow-minded rat race to me... | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/18/2007 7:32:15 AM | Oh - To be a shallow minded rat again and have that hot blond . . . . oh well, I'm awake now - darn it was a nice dream . . .
Joe | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/18/2007 8:58:29 AM | Trophy wives are a thing of the past 2 decades. Around the year 2000 they have new terminology and selection. Now, for the ones who have the throphy wife mentality there are the following:
Show ponies ( young, attractive but dumb)
Work horses ( not so attractive but hard workers with good jobs and money)
and a few others but I forget what they are.
I tell you there are some very sick people who make up these kinds of catagories to put people in | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/20/2007 2:01:59 AM | | k lil dumbass man, let me stomp on ur lil ego, dont ****in categorise all women your thread is moronick. marrige is about being equal nobody deserves the upperhand kkk get it bye | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/24/2007 5:18:54 AM | | Just give me someone who loves me and not themselves so much they forget that "we" are now the "one" thing that matters, I will put anyone on a pedestal like that. | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/24/2007 5:24:20 AM | Too bad I don't know any rich man that would love to make a trophy wife out of me.
I think it would be fun to do nothing with my life but just keep myself taunt, sexy and tight for my man.
Trophy wife fantasies are fun.
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/24/2007 7:17:44 AM | It has been proven that some high achievers actually like someone that doesn't compete with them on a daily basis on their own level.
It has nothing to do with low self esteem. It has to do with the two worlds being seperated and when they come home. They come home to something they cherish and can fully and completely relax and be themselves in a safe and loving non competitve environment !
Its all about the harmony and balance in thieir lives. Their sanctuary! | |
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| Trophy Wives
Posted: 6/24/2007 10:27:05 AM |
I'll take that as a jim dandy fine thing to say . . .
that's like saying, "Well they cut off both arms and both legs but they left me with a good compliment" considering that if u put her away u "cause her to commit adultery" and if she put u away and married another she committed adultery" which brings eternal damnation to whichever one did it.
this length of time is not unusual for marriages and long term relationships
It isn't the usual thing to avoid eternal hell fire and damnation either. | |
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