| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/16/2007 10:32:58 PM |
You attract who you are on an emotional level.
In the negative sense... addicts attract enablers and takers attract givers.
In the positive sense... emotionally healthy people attract emotionally heathy people.
Exactly. That's it. | |
|
| |
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/16/2007 11:52:26 PM |  LMAO @ OpieDopey! That's awesome.
I don't want to attract someone too much like me. I want someone different. I don't want someone like my dad, either because that's a little creepy (not my dad, just the thought).
If we attract who we are, why isn't everyone gay?
It's good to meet people with common interests and goals but it's the differences that make people interesting. | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/17/2007 12:36:29 AM | These days there has been so much focus on something called the secret... a fad if you ask me, that the greedy will try in hopes to get more of what they want. The secret talks about the very thing you bring up. I do believe that on a psychological level what we believe about our selves and others will determine a lot of our experiences and that is because we are focusing on it and what we focus on we will get more of, simple as that. But i don't think its as easy as changing our thoughts to attract something different. I think people are more complex then to be controlled by our thoughts in this way and things happen that we can never understand when it comes to attracting the people we become intimate with.
That being said i don't see anything wrong with being the best person we can be, focusing on doing good and making a difference in the lives we touch. Not because we want something but because it is a part of us. I think this would put us in proximity of other like minded people, and if we are so lucky to meet someone we are attracted to then wow. If not we are at least being who we are inside and the joy of that would be enough to sustain us that i'm sure of. As far as physically fit and financially secure... i'd not care so much at all about these things because even though they may be good traits one never knows just how much focus has been put on these two aspects at the cost of being a good person who makes a difference in others lives.
crazylilting | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/17/2007 5:21:31 AM |
(OP) So, if I want a physically fit woman who is financially secure. I must first become a physically fit man who is financially secure.
I don’t believe that’s true.
Stephen_ottawa writes in msg 14,
Abiding to absolutes is a comfy mindset in avoiding compromising on finding someone with the traits you value, but subscribing too rigidly to absolutes can result in lost opportunities for self discovery and evaluating how important those "nice to haves" truly are to you within the context of being with someone for a while.
Frequently I’ll see people write a “must have” list. To me, that is a warning sign. It’s saying that person will love another IF they fulfill that list and not just for the person themselves. As time passes we all change our lists or priorities and that’s when we hear people say they grew apart. If we base relationships on things that are likely to change then relationships are not likely to last.
The last point I want to comment on is the lost opportunities for self discovery. I agree and I think that’s where many people go wrong. Most folks simply fell into their lifestyle due to circumstance and have become accustomed to it. In many cases they are not familiar with alternative lifestyles.
By that, I don’t mean swingers or a depraved lifestyle. I’m talking about ones likes/dislikes, activities, etc. When young people start out in life and choose a partner they start a life together. Neither one falls into the others life. They make a whole new life, different than either one of them had before. I think that’s what’s missing today. Some people call it compromise but I don’t think of it that way.
For example, some people prefer city living to the suburbs but they have never lived with that special person in the suburbs. How can they be so sure they won’t like it? Or maybe one is a homebody and the other likes socializing. Have they tried socializing with that special person?
The same applies to being physically fit. Many people believe physical fitness means sexiness but such is not the case. There are women carrying a few extra pounds that can blow the socks off a guy. (Pardon the pun.)
I suppose it comes down to that old saying that one has to get to know the person. A person with a limited income may have more in reserve than one with a greater income due to their ability at money management. | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/17/2007 5:34:45 AM | Some of the most successful couples I have seen, compliment each other. They have some common interests, but otherwise are opposites.
I agree with much of what Dave1234 has stated in his post above. | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/17/2007 5:58:37 AM | Well love can sometimes be unpredictable......but usually when you want something from someone you should be able to give it back.Would be selfish to demand something of someone if you weren't able to give it.
How could we expect perfection if we are so very imperfect ourselves. | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/17/2007 6:05:11 AM | I think perhaps a better way to state the premise than do we attract who we are:
To attract the person you want, you have to BE or become the person that person would be attracted to.
As for the financial end of it, I don't know a single soul who wants to pay the bills for somebody who is a financial mess. | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 5:25:48 PM | | Very well said. Thank you. I spend whole paragraphs saying (sometimes less) than the volumn you were able to say in one simple statement. Tony | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 5:34:24 PM |
You attract who you are on an emotional level.
In the negative sense... addicts attract enablers and takers attract givers.
In the positive sense... emotionally healthy people attract emotionally heathy people.
I USED to believe this was true...Until I started to become more emotionally healthy myself and noticed that I was attracting even MORE dysfunctional people into my life...
That's when a VERY wise person told me that of COURSE the "sickos" would be attracted to me, out of some sense of "getting healthy" themselves through OSMOSIS or something, rather than DO THE WORK themselves!!!
Just because YOU'RE dysfunctional, doesn't mean that you can't recognize FUNCTIONAL when you see it!!!
I am NOT responsible for who is attracted TO me...I am ONLY responsible for whether or not I choose to engage in dysfunctional relationships with unhealthy people...
Hopefully some of the healthier ones will ALSO notice.... | |
|
daisie
|
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 36 | |
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 5:53:03 PM | It's not "outdated"
But it is only part of the story.
The truth is that we are each individual with unique wants and needs. Some want this and some want that. There is no ONE RULE we all must follow.
Different types of arrangements can meet our needs at different times. Sometimes we may need someone similar to us, other times we need someone very different to complement us in a way we can't do alone. It's always changing...as we change and grow, its unavoidable. Life is change. | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:09:00 PM | I hope the hell there isn't another like me out there. I think I would be compatible with a like minded person, but attracted to someone who is different and can open me up to new possibilities and a different way of looking at things.
C~ | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:20:51 PM | this one is a good one...
first you attract what YOU are attracted to or what the other person is attracted to..
physical attraction is well physical
mental attraction is found at the subconcious level
emotional attraction is well plainly put meeting of minds
psychological attraction is related to mental and well being
I always heard that good men and women are hard to find..they are everywhere
you just have to cull the bad ones...
there are all kinds of attractions that I have not mentioned...the main one
is physical... some folks dont like to be undressed by eyes, some have a height
weight attraction, eyes, hair, body...etc....
secondly, where are you going to try and attract someone or be noticed?
environment plays a heavy part in the attraction process...
thirdly, what kind of person are you trying to attract? ..some are attracted by
mental, physical, emotional or monetary assets.
As for the monetary assets, how much money is secure? ...physical assets, what
happens when the body or mind goes? ... does the attraction end?
I know plenty of folks..( excuse the pun) ...who were attracted to physical or
monetary assets..but when these dried up....did the relationship stay strong?
in most cases not...
have a good one...
respects | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:51:35 PM | Heard once...
"Be Yourself, like attracts like"...
Wise words, spoken from a very wise individual....
Sometimes we try to change the structure of what really makes us....us...,it seems then that we fall to the "never was me" type of result we all know and love....perhaps the masks should be left by the door to what it is we really want....allowing who we are to compel a "like" soul to know us....can't be that hard?...can it?
Perhaps in the end it never really was that opposites attract, just our preconceived notion of what makes us who and what we are......I mean really,
We are Here aren't we? | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:59:33 PM | I think on every day bases you consciousness and unconsciousness are creating the possibilities of meeting the person you’re thinking in your mind… or so visualizing yourself being with. Can’t really explain it, but I know for a fact it’s the way I’ve been experiencing life… don’t forget when you’re saying to yourself that “I attract a certain type and not the one I want” you’re always going to attract the wrong types because you’re sending that signal into the universe and people around you so instead say to yourself “I want to attract this type of person!” and see yourself being with them, avoid the things you don’t want.. Only focus on things you do want… and be honest with yourself. I’ll promise after a little while you’ll start noticing the different people you attract… can’t explain it... I just know it works.
Cheers, | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:07:25 PM | | Yea. I dont know about that junk either. If that was the case, then all of the so-called nice and sweet people that get walked over and/or abused by their spouses and mates would end up with someone equally nice and sweet.... would they not? | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/20/2007 3:32:39 AM | I would not date my clone - goodness me - it would drive me bonkers! LOL
Having said that there have to be similar paces and outlooks on life.
P.S.
(He kept *boogie* in his own space and out ... and on one outing, by chance, finding myself at the same place, I joined his "orbit") | |
|
| |
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:48:06 AM |
Do we really attract who we are?
Christ I hope not. A few of the men I have dated were pretty shady and I am the opposite.
I always thought opposites attract. | |
|
| |
esseqb
|
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 46 | |
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:15:45 AM | My take is while there be some truth in this, it's all a matter of what you are bringing to the table in a relationship and expect others to being.
Thus if you are financially secured and want someone financially secured, that's who you will seek (not attract) and those outside looking in will say that's who you attract. However, in my opinion, it all have to do with the standards you set for yourself. So if you know you want a financially secure woman, then you'll search until you find one. If it don't bother you, then anyoen will come your way.
As they say "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything" | |
|
| |
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 1/18/2008 3:35:33 PM | In many ways we do attract who we are. But I have met a Woman who says--she wants to meet a Man who is 6-feet tall and is 50 and up plus Professional. Now the Woman is a Registered Nurse and very nice--but 5'2". She meets all kinds of Men at her age 45. Yet after being with the Man she has met--she is upset, crazy and sad. Because he's treated her with total disresepct. She constantly meets the Man with the Lexus , the BMW, the Mercedes and more. Yet he is a rough customer. Her problem--$$$$$ she looks for the cash...She acts this way and has told me--I don't have enough cash for her. I laugh at her constantly.
She gets what she puts out. Not realizing--money doesn't buy love.
Find a lady who is deep into you. Sorry to say--we have a serious problem in our US now. Many things are upside down | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 1/18/2008 3:36:41 PM | | i guess generally thats how it would work, but i got a different approach basically, like me for who i am and not what i have so pretty much i lay nothing i have on the table in the hopes to attract a woman. | |
|
| Do we really attract who we are?
Posted: 1/18/2008 3:44:05 PM | [I was always told that If you want to attract a good woman, you have to be a good man.
So, if I want a physically fit woman who is financially secure. I must first become a physically fit man who is financially secure.]
I don't think that this thinking is about external factors, I think it has more to do with your internal thinking and attitude and values...etc
Would I stay with someone who is a player or insecure or needy, or someone who is negative and has a glass empty attitude, ... no, because i value myself more than that and i would see straight away or very early on that i couldn't tolerate their negativity, clinginess or cheating or whatever it is...
it's called co-dependence.
so if you are healthy and have checked your baggage in then you will only be compatible with someone else who is similar.
What was said about you meet people where you hang is also true. | |
|
Home
login 
