| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:17:34 PM | Carolann...You said...
"If you do not trust the person you are with they either have given you a damn good reason or you trust no one."
Although I may partially agree with the first part of your post, I definitely agree with your last part. Not all that think their partner is cheating has been given a reason. Perhaps they themselves are cheating, and to compensate blame the other. And there are those that believe in the Fox Mulder philosophy, "Trust no one" | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:34:50 PM | There's three things that I know for sure:
1) I can be trusted but I really don't care if somebody spies on me, I'd be more than willing to let someone have free reign to check me out if they really wanted to.. as long as it's up front.. we can all do stupid things from time to time but I have gotten more inadvertent nonsense from popups lately than enough.. and those that aren't necessarily as computer savvy see this stuff sometimes and don't understand that it's a popup's fault, not necessarily the person at the keys. Unintentional porn popups can show up on a kid's computer nowadays just searching for a cheat code or a walk through for a game they're playing.. and it's not the kid's fault.. they call that, an unintentional hijack. Whether the site's logged or not, it's not always somebody's fault that this stuff winds up on your screen.. granny can google for a website on cooking with hot spicy mexican peppers and end up on a pornsite these days with one errant click!
2) The other thing, that is for certain, is there's NOTHING from a computer owner's viewpoint that drives them nuts more, than someone that changes their computer's settings.. If I have any logging software on my computer at all, it's not to spy on somebody.. it's so if they royally bork my computer, I stand half a chance of finding out what they did.. and reverse the damage. YES, it's keylogged.. by all means lol.. so if you change something, I can UNchange it before I kill ya for messing up my settings. Bottom line, don't touch my stuff LOL have a little respect. There is more than one reason why I don't like people messing with my stuff. . and it's got nothing to DO with hiding anything..
3) I'd worry more about guys that hide their porn tapes and magazines, than the liberal ones who aren't afraid to admit it's liberal curiosity.. and online's no different.. some disapprove of all of it, and to those people, they require a little more reassurance. Regardless, being truthful is more important than being skittish and shy about it.. and being honest about it is about respect in the first place.
If you're talking about any other morally questionable behaviour, try and stay with the obvious.. if a guy's got a playboy collection, if you and your s/o have the odd porn tape that ya use to get in the 'mood' once in the while, etc.. then duh, there's gonna be the odd thing on their computer.. it's human nature for curiosity to rear it's head once in a while. Why is a playboy under the bed any different than a boob shot someplace on a hard drive, for example?
But all in all, spying really isn't the answer.. if you and your mate can't talk about sex with the same ease as some total stranger in text on a computer, I'd say ya got other problems.. and that's crazy. Be as liberal as you want, but if you're going to be truthful about your sex life, remember where your bread's buttered.. and be MORE truthful, with your own MATE.. that's the important thing.
They say two become one in marriage.. so think about it. If you're with a mate, and they become part of your life, then treat YOURSELF with respect, and treat your mate, who is a part of YOU, with respect.. remember.. your mate IS a part of YOU. | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:40:43 PM |
I know I'm just a stupid 23 year old kid who knows nothing but it seems to me that if you need to install software to check on your partner, you shouldn't be with them anyways.
~OP~ Definitely NOT a stupid kid ~ far smarter than many people I know who are twice your age. You are, indeed, dead on. If you need to snoop ~ you need a new significant other. Sorry ~ if I have to be worried about what "he" does on the net, I need a new man, not software to validate my worries.
If you feel like the person in your life is cheating/lying/etc., they most likely are. On the flip side of that ~ if someone has a history of trust issues, the relationship is in trouble from the very beginning. Some people just REFUSE to believe that not all people cheat/lie. I stay away from those types ~ too difficult to deal with on a daily basis. Ick. JMO  | |
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Posted: 6/17/2007 4:43:04 PM | | In a relationship that hasn't matured into marriage it's a really bad idea. I could understand someone that was married for years and really felt a strong feeling that their partner was cheating, I think it's ok. But then you gotta man up and admit what you have done and why if it comes to show that they have been faithful | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:57:29 PM | I have used this type of program in the past to keep a check on what the teenage boys in my home were surfing for on the net when I wasn't home to supervise... Unfortunately this is also how I found out my very close friend was cheating with my live-in boyfriend - boy wasn't I surprised... and so were they! And then my boyfriend got mad at me because he says I had no right to look at his personal conversations... I was like WTF... What about your cheating on me and you destroying my personal life?
My thought on the issue is : If the person I am with wants "it" on the computer then go right on and have at it - cause I have nothing to hide... if they throw a fit about "it" being on the computer because of fear of someone seeing his personal conversations... then I question what and why he is trying to hide a conversation.
~*~Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm.~*~ | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/17/2007 6:40:35 PM | People here are saying that if you cant trust someone then you shouldnt be with them?
But theres another side that hasnt been brought up,
what if your in a relationship in which you trust the person completely , but they are fooling around??
Just because you trust doesnt mean that they can be trusted...
So to the original op, if it will give you peace of mind then go for it, see what shes up to , but just dont let her find out, she could be innocent.. | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/18/2007 8:59:57 AM | I didn't have to use one of those...
My ex-fiance with whom I was living with at the time started telling me that he had a lot of work to finish because he works in IT I believed him. Until one night, he was at home and was still "working" at like 1pm I went to give him a kiss and say good night and I saw that he was chatting on POF. I didn't know what it was at the time so I let it go.
A week later, when I was once again home alone. I remembered it and checked it out and I found him on here. Advertising himself as "single" and "looking for a long term" relationship. His profile head line even read "Lobster: looking for the one" So you know what no matter what you do, if the guys a jerk he'll do it. I believed in this bozo, I even trusted in him and he still did.
Some of you might say that chatting up chicks on here isn't that bad, but when he was telling me that he was working late and in actuality he was hooking up with these women that constitutes as cheating to me. So all you asian chicks out there beware, because you are the one he's targeting. It even says so in his profile. | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/18/2007 9:13:49 AM | | With the internet people don't trust other's, it's so easy to cheat, emotionally and physically. Trust is foundational in a relationship. Before getting into a relationship one should have a healthy outlook on oneself and others, to at least have a good starting point. I start out believing the best, keeping my eyes opened for flags, but no way would I "investigate" If I feel that need, then there is either a reason or I need to get my self assurance back. I should be able to tell by simply being with my man whether he is REALLY into me or not. I don't think anyone can lie that well over time when u have a close relationship and lots of eye contact.... | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/18/2007 10:41:47 AM | [Sometimes a person can suspect you of cheating when you aren't. I've had a gf accuse me of cheating once (she was really insecure though).]-Uncle_J
While some people are insecure because they have been hurt /or cheated on in the past,
it has been my experience that it is often cheaters who are suspicious & distrustful of others,
because they know how easy it can be! | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:38:40 PM | Let me say one short thing besides my 'book' post earlier. Maximum PC magazine, just came out in their latest issue, with three spyware programs commonly used with people's kids, and gave three of their guys free reign to "hack" them.
The results were universal.. three guys, three programs.. nine successful attempts at hacking through the 'net nanny' programs, downloading anything they wanted (in this case they had to provide a few innocuous screen shots of their 'conquest') and leave the computer without a trace of the security breach.
In other words, y'all.. the magazine, gave pretty much anybody that reads it, simple instructions on how you can "dupe" these programs.. and yes, thirteen year olds can do it. Don't trust your spyware to tell you everything.. trust your mate.. and if you cannot, then there's only one solution besides ditching the guy.. surf WITH em, or don't surf at all.
You can find a workaround hack for every last security program that exists on the internet.. and all of them can be disabled, in less than 20 minutes with step by step instructions..
So what difference does software make? you can gogle the hack walkthrough for them in under ten minutes.. information is power.. honesty, is still, priceless. | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/18/2007 11:57:14 PM | Sadly most of the peoples here computers are probably being followed for chats ect of perverts. Its as simple as them sending you a email with the thing hidden ( ie put it in their photo ect ) and msn chat gives anyone In the know full access to your computer and chats real time and saved as It means theres ALWAYS open ports to your computer at all times msn is on.
Maybe everyone should ring a tech and ask how simple It is - 12 yr olds are doing It and Its BIG business for the perverts who know who does their sex chats to look at 
Boringly this has happened to me of these sites and I dont even do sex chat haha - dont accept any photos or emails of them simple as It Involves stripping back all the stuff to get the bug thing off - timely - costly and annoying for anothers cheap thrills.
But really there IS NO privacy on computers just think of the current msn virus going around where u get a pile of chats of someone elses msn - a lot with the email addy - and a lot of pretty sick stuff someone who thinks their sexy Is on about - now delivered to 100000 perverts email boxes world wide .. | |
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Alfy82
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Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 47 | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:31:19 AM | SunsetStorm...Message 46...
Thanks for the heads up info...interesting to know about MSN.
Back on topic: I have enough to do without spying on a partner. If I feel the need to spy one day then I don't need that partner. I can understand why people use it for checking up on their children. It can be a protection issue and may save their children from harm in some instances. | |
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| What do you think of computer software that lets your spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:11:42 AM | | Yeah I don't have a problem if its used to spy on kids. Kids don't always make the best decisions and don't realize the dangers from online predators that exist. But using this software to spy on a partner is wrong, immoral, unethical, and should be illegal. That's what I seen this product advertised for. Strange thing is, since I posted this thread, I haven't seen the advertisement anymore. They couldn't have taken it down because of that. This advertisement was on POF by the way. | |
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