| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 12:30:01 PM | | I have to wonder when someone who has >3 times a week in their profile if it means they drink a lot at each occasion, or if it means they like a glass of wine with dinner and may do that more than 3 times a week. I don't mind a glass or two of wine with dinner several times a week...but hammering down a 6-pack 3-5 nights a week, or the same with harder stuff is different, IMO. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 12:30:08 PM | not to belabour the smoking issue or hijack the thread... but to a person with allergies.. a smoker is a smoker is a smoker....no need to qualify answers.. simple yes or no is sufficient.
and yes prolib... people see amounts and frequency in their own terms of reference.. thats why it is best to ask the person who made the claim originally.....
if the only issue you have with someone is how they answered a particular, subjective question, then by all means ask for clarification before you write them off as unaccaptable. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 1:23:38 PM | Drinking over 45 is tough for me as I've gotten older -- and I'm sure many of us have changed our opinions on this somewhat since the days of our youth. I can do 15 or 16 drinks, maybe two nights in a row, but drinking over 45 is going to take me at least 3 or 4 days. And after that 3rd day, I'd definitely have to have a nap.
cdn guy | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:00:59 PM |
Considering what a joke health care is in Canada, Health Canada is hardly a credible authority. It's a finance thing. Not the org or research. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:02:06 PM | | Did you ask ,why she/he drinks?Drinking...over 45 is not for fun,so for what?Beer or alcohol is not healthy(chemia),glass of good wine after meal..ok...the rest is plain alcoholism... | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:37:52 PM | Beer or alcohol is not healthy (chemia) , glass of good wine after meal ok...the rest is plain alcoholism
Okay, you can ingest all the chemicals that are in the foods we eat nowadays, breathe in toxic fumes and chemical pollution and I'll just sit here having a drink or two.
I've got news for everyone....we're not getting outta here alive !!!
Muskoka | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 4:14:09 PM | We'll get right on that....In the meantime would those that drink socially form a line to the right? Would the tea-totallers form a line on the left? And, would the alcoholics form a line in the middle?
Now, everyone turn and sneer at each other.
Muskoka | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:38:01 PM | Anyone who drinks more than a moderate amount, and does so on a regular basis is unlikely to say so in their profile.
But, there might be clues in the way they communicate with you. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:59:52 PM | | OP when I see someone who states they drink more than 3 times a week I more likely to pass them by or if they contact me its one of the first questions I'd ask for clarification on. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:20:18 PM | Alcoholism has NOTHING to do with how nuch you drink. You can drink, be an azzhole, and passout every day and not be an alcoholic.
NOT just my opinion. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:25:57 PM |
But, there may be clues in the way they communicate with you.
How can you tell the difference between who's just had a little too much that particular day and chronic drinkers? I can remember brilliant teachers in school who came to school sloshed. Were they functioning alcoholics?
What I have observed in this generation is that most people have one or two drugs of choice.....food, shoppping, pot, smoking, money, material possessions, sex,gambling, porn,the internet. and yes alcohol.......they're all drugs designed to make us feel better. Some are just more harmful than others. And, some do affect our relationships with others and ourselves.
Muskoka | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/18/2007 8:52:31 PM | Well in my 20's I tried to out drink my alcoholic mother - woke up one Sat morning and realized I was being stupid. Stop drinking all together for about 10 years.
Now I like the occasional glass of red wine, but I have rules 1) I never drink when I am sad or angry, 2) I never need a drink . I got lucky when I was young and stupid as it seems I didn't inherent the gene from my mother's side of the family that predisposes a person to alcoholism.
I don't mind a social drink and a drink a day to me is social drinking but I have no desire to date drunks . One alcoholic in my life, was one too many  I learned a long time ago, I can't change the world, nor anyone else in it, I can only change me | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/19/2007 4:40:05 AM | It seems we have a split on this topic. Personally if someone drinks wine with their meal, so be it. But the before dinner drink and the after dinner brandy is a bit much for me, specially if this done on a daily basis.
I would think those who just have wine with their meal, wouldn't put down 3 or more a wk. Don't know for sure. But those who stop at the lounge on they're way home from work to shoot the breeze with the guys/gals, well that to me is a habit. Of course it's their life, I'm not one to judge what others do on their own, but for someone to step into my life, this can not take place.
Again, I have NOTHING agaist drinking, and I DO like one myself once in awhile, but not every day or even every other day, there is an underlying problem there. Speaking from my own experience only. I do know the signs and writting them down in black and white is one of them, granted I give them credit for being honest, but it's not for me. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:51:18 PM | Hey charlie
When ever something like that surfaces, Health Canada has to jump all over it, yet again, to tell people it's BS.
Considering what a joke health care is in Canada, Health Canada is hardly a credible authority.
confuses me.
Are you saying drinking daily is good, or that its bad?
I realize that most people in Jersey know more about health care in Canada than the rest of the world (probably because Jersey is so close to the PR firms in New Yack that shill for big pharma), but Health Canada does tend to be pretty conservative it its pronouncements.
I think the poster was referring to Health Canada responding to disreputable sources claiming that health guidlines promote regular consumption of alcohol (which in fact they do not do).
But you tell us. Apparently you are the expert. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:06:48 PM | Having been married to two alcoholic wives in a row... and now 11 years in alanon... I have learned a great deal. For a while, in early recovery.. I was terrified of anyone whoe even got near alcohol. But, fortunately, I have achieved a place of balance and understanding. Its none of my business whether someone drinks. If their drinking starts causing problems in my life... THEN, it becomes my business. And, its not about trying to affect their drinking.... its about knowing how to make the choices that will take care of me.
Anything listed that is more than 'social drink'... is automatically a little red flag. But, I would not pass judgement until I actually saw what that meant. And, believe me... I know how to tell.... very fast!!! I personally, will not attempt a serious relationship with anyone, no matter how beautiful or wonderful, who demonstrates "any" problem drinking....at all!!
As for me. I like some wine sometimes, and an occasional cold beer. But have NO desire to be intoxicated. | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 44 | |
| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/20/2007 7:22:58 AM | pinebreeze, btdt with alcoholic/addicts in my life too. glad you found alanon.. it's been a lifesaver for me, literally. I ws so t the edge and ready to jump off....
like you, I'll avoid like the plague anyone who is serious drinker and I can tell immediately.
But I drink maybe 3 glasses of wine a week, I'll drink one glass once in a while at bedtime. Or I'll drink a cold beer on a hot day, but never be able to finish it...that can be more than 3x a week, but does that make me someone to avoid? other weeks I don't have anything.
I've found a lot of people with drinking problems put down "social drinker." it's all in perception I guess.
Pinebreeze have you discovered that in a room full of people the ONE person with a drinking or drug problem will find you? Sometimes I think I've got a neon sign that attracts them.
chris | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/20/2007 12:17:05 PM | People's opinions on this issue are always coloured by their personal experiences with the negative aspects of alcoholism. My first fifteen years, till I left home, was with a very angry alcoholic. That has coloured my wish to drink my whole life. I do, when the social occasion calls for it, but it's certainly not often. People who have been, have lived with or have had close proximity to alcoholics see very clearly how 'stupidly' they can behave when inebriated. If I am with very close friends, in a very planned environment and am not expecting to have to do anything of importance for a number of hours, I'll give myself the luxury of being stupid. But usually, an ice-cold pepsi, a cuppa tea, coffee or just plain ice-water does it for me in most social settings and all work settings. I'd have a glass of wine with dinner, but wine gives me a raging headache, so that rules that out. And I'm fully aware that my penchant to omit alcohol from my life has everything to do with my childhood -- a bit of baggage that is worth me keeping, I believe.
cdn guy | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/20/2007 6:11:38 PM | Fortunately (or unfortunately) I have rarely if ever suffered a "hangover". Although, I steer clear of champagne unless its the reallllly good stuff and I can't afford that!
My son is in AA and I respect that...ALOT!
I do, however, have a liquor cabinet. It has various liquors in it. I do not consume them daily. I will have an occasssional gin and tonic...which, I just did after a particularily hard day at work.
I also, like excellent wines. I was gifted a case of homemade Pinot Blanc a few months ago and still have only had three bottles...my friend is from Napa Valley and has excellent resources.
There is a difference between enjoying an occassional glass of whatever and drinking the cupboard dry.
Once again, I totally respect the people who have acknowledged that liquor is a poision to them and totally abstain. Please acknowledge we do not all suffer from this disease. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:34:51 PM | Some people are just in denial. I am not talking about the ones that have drinks with dinner, etc. I am talking about the ones that get smashed every weekend, and call themselves
"social drinkers" They don't understand it's not really fun to be around someone drunk when you aren' t drunk yourself. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/20/2007 9:32:34 PM | Most alcoholics who are still drinking think that they are social drinkers.
I grew up with very little experience with alcohol, so when my ex-husband had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner each time we ate together, I didn't think anything of it. After we were married, I realized that he was not only having a glass or 3 of wine EVERY night with supper, he was polishing off the bottle through the evening. The small bottle soon became the large bottle and a case of beer every weekend, plus a 40 oz of rye or brandy every couple of weeks. He lost his job....he lost his wife....he lost the respect of his kids....but....he's not an alcoholic....he's just a social drinker.
I enjoy a glass of wine with a meal on occasion and I get the buzz after half a glass. I do watch closely for signs of excess or changes in behaviour when out on dates. If every social occasion MUST include drinking, there may be a problem. | |
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MsChar
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Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/20/2007 9:34:48 PM | one sec while i grab a beer !!!! lol
back .... well i never really started drinking till i left my ex. funny thing was he drank himself silly for the 31 years we were together. guess i was too busy being ad adult , working keeping house and raising our son.
after i became single .. i found that a few beers added to a fun nite , i can now drink hmm up to 8 beer and have no problems , but have a nice glow.
my guy and i do tequila shots on occasion and i luv a cold rum n coke . most of our friends drink and a cold beer is often the thing we wind down after a busy summer day at work with .
i anything you need to know your limit
cheers | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 6/20/2007 10:13:12 PM | | The only modification in my drinking habits that experience has taught me is to not drink until I get stinking drunk and sick. I never have been a regular drinker, I'm still working on liquor that I bought 15 years ago. I haven't really noticed the morning after affects have gotten any worse with age. Drink too much and I felt like crap 20 years ago, still feel like crap today. | |
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I like a****ail ( maybe two) before dinner. I may have a glass or two of wine with dinner. I've been known to have 3 or 4 drinks in the course of the evening when out socializing with friends. But, daily? NO. 
