| Drinking over 45
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:56:54 PM | post script....
the only reason i checked off social drinker was so that people would think I actually do have a social life!!!!! | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 127 | |
| Drinking over 45
Posted: 7/21/2007 12:53:14 AM | | rehab, my Greek grandfather smoked one cigarrette a day, every day, right after dinner. it was his dessert. He lived to be 90 and was in very good health. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:52:38 AM | I have come to the conclusion we should all go out and grab a stiff one.............
I'll leave it up to you to figure out what I am talking about.
Summer time for some reason is my worse, I could go out right now and get rip roarin drunk if I new I won't hate myself tomorrow. But the price I would have to pay for that good buzz isn't worth the headache, or the embarassment of waking up with someone who I just couldn't remember their name.
But then again, grabbin that stiff one might just be the ticket I need. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 7/21/2007 6:20:29 AM | | don't see how I could fit it all in between the heroin, crack and weed... only got one pair of hands after all... lol | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 7/21/2007 6:45:27 AM | THAT'S it wooby! I just can't seem to get the gist of it! Maybe I need to start drinking so I can recite limericks with the best of 'em!
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 7/21/2007 9:31:16 AM | I just click off of it. I grew up with alcoholics, and I married an alcoholic, and I've dated alcoholics, and I'm just not going there again. Even if they say they're a "social drinker", sometimes you'll get them out in public, and they get plastered. That's my last date with them. If someone can't stay sober for one evening, they have a problem, period.
I drank a lot in my early 20's, and stopped drinking a lot in my early 20's. Now I don't drink at all if I'm driving, and I'm the Designated Driver most times when I go out. Two glasses of wine with dinner when I'm not driving is my limit, but I hardly ever get that, because if he drinks, I drive. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/16/2009 8:39:21 PM |
the only reason i checked off social drinker was so that people would think I actually do have a social life!!!!!  | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/16/2009 10:34:27 PM | I must admit, in my hay day, I drank more then I should have, but now at my age, I'm lucky if I have one a year. I have nothing against drinking, if done without going over board.
What I see in the 45 group profiles(men only because I don't look thru the woman's) that there appears to be many who put drinks 3 times or more a week. I ask you, how can this be.? LOL
I know what I feel like after a nite of a few c*cktails, I feel like death warmed over, and have this fuzzy, ozzy feeling all the next day. But coming from a family history of a drunk, then I married one, don't figure, that is the last thing I want in my life.
So my question is, how do/what do, you do when you run across a profile that states plainly they are a drinker?
I am actually wary of a man who says he never drinks, or worse yet, "gave it up." When a man writes in his profile or says he 'gave it up,' that indicates to me he has had a problem with drinking, thus has an addictive personality, is scared of alcohol, and so on. Also, I would not be a comfortable, compatible companion to someone who doesn't drink alcohol.
It suprises me how many think alcohol in and of itself is a negative, bad, dangerous thing. Alcohol is one of the spices of life. If you think drinking means getting drunk, then yes, alochol is a bad thing. But I don't think of it that way, haven't since I was about 22. To me drinking means having a glass of wine or beer with dinner, it means having a drink after a nice meal out, it means brandy and coffee and possibly cake at one of our lovely coffee houses here. It means being able to relax and enjoy one of the many joys our rich and varied world has to offer; along with good food goes good wine (or beer or brandy or a liquor). If a person can't enjoy that without going to excess, then this is a person who has a problem. I kind of sound like one of those people who say it's people that kill people not guns. But, guns are made to kill, alcohol is not made for the one and only purpose of getting drunk.
I live on the edge of Vienna near the vineyards. There are many 'heurigers' within a 5 - 10 minute walk of my apartment. At these places you drink the local wine and in the summer months eat in their outdoor restaurants. There can also be traditional music. If I were afraid of alcohol, I would not be able to enjoy this 'local color' and experience to the full. How lucky I am. Life is good. (Oh, and btw: it's been snowing for 2 days.....as I sit here at my desk, I look out on a truly Austrian winter wonderland...life IS good!! :) | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/16/2009 10:38:15 PM | | In support of Ismene's position some studies suggest that having 1-2 drinks a day may actually increase one's life span. More than three decreases it. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:40:56 AM | ismene1 , I must agree with your analysis. When I see a profile that says they "do not drink", I conclude thry would either have a negative affect on the social life I enjoy or are an addict in recovery. Nither of these situations would be tolerable nor is the situation where I have to keep someone from falling into the "porcelin god". > 3 times a week in moderation is the gold standard.  | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:49:55 AM | Just back from the doc's today. She advises no more than 4 drinks per week. Not that I do or have mind you. Add that to quitting smoking, reduced caffeine use, lose 10 lbs and the fact that I have no stress outlet, (physically, lol) and wth is left?
Growing old, gotta luv it.
I too agree with Miss Ismene's thoughts. Nothing at all wrong with enjoyment of the finer things in life as long as it is not taken to the extreme. I find those that have been exposed to other's with alcohol problems have a tendency to overreact when someone takes a drink, even if it is only one or two. Not that I blame them. Alcoholism is a biotch to live with. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:54:16 AM | | ^^^I have actually lived with a man for several years who was/is (now goes to AA) an alcoholic....progressively worsening over the years we were together. Also have lived with a relative who is an alcholic. So, any real indication of the behavior if an alcoholic and I do not want to have anything at all to do with that person. However, I am also able to see that most people can drink without addiction problems. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:39:45 AM | ismene1 what your saying is moderation and variety is the spice of life. To much of anything can be bad.
On The radio heard a report of a Transgendered person thinking it was a female that exercised her husband so much that it killed him. Guess that would be a little extreme. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:51:19 AM | | ^^^He was in his 70's wasn't he? Didn't read the story.... | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:55:57 AM |
rehab, my Greek grandfather smoked one cigarrette a day, every day, right after dinner. it was his dessert. He lived to be 90 and was in very good health.
My Great Grandfather was similar. Two shots of vodka a day, one with lunch and one with dinner. Two cigarettes in the evening. He died at 104. As they say, anything in moderation. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/27/2009 6:26:09 PM | If someone can't control their alcohol intake, they aren't for me. My ex-husband is a "functional" (sort of, now that he's older) alcoholic, and come from a long line of "functional" alcoholics.....
Too scary for me....  | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/28/2009 5:16:48 AM | Iseme - great post. I totally see it the same way. "Alcohol is one of the spices of life".
Social drinking to me is a Bloody Mary with a leisurely Sunday brunch, a glass of wine with a special dinner, a cooler when tailgating, margaritas with Mexican food.
It's part of a social culture that I enjoy. It's not on a daily basis. Most likely not more than a few times a month. Moderation.  | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/28/2009 6:09:45 AM | drinking and a drunk is so much different. I grew up around some alcoholics..funny not one out od 10 kids..me or my cousins ended up drunks.
A drink with dinner..wine or a beer is good for your health. It's when you drink to excess and your personality changes or it effects your health that it's a problem.
I dated a woman once who was drunk always and It took 3 dates to learn it..She hid it well..
Just because your family had a drunk doesn't mean you or anyone else will be contrary to studies. Addictive behavior is not inherited..it's learned.. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/28/2009 11:40:47 AM | If I see that someone does not drink and profession listed as addictions councilor, I of course assume that they are in recovery and made a career out of it.
I have not had a drink in over five years nor any drugs for thirteen years. That's right, I am a recovered alcoholic/ addict .
I don't care what others do. If people drink around me, not a problem. I don't want to get involved with a problem drinker and I would of course suss that out very quickly.
To the people that wouldn't date me because of my past...no problem. You're probably lucky to get a date with anybody. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 2/28/2009 11:57:22 AM |
that there appears to be many who put drinks 3 times or more a week... So my question is, how do/what do, you do when you run across a profile that states plainly they are a drinker?
That they are honest. A glass of wine with dinner each night is going to be socially and/or more than three times a week. Sometimes they elaborate in their profile. I enjoy a nice cold Guinness every so often and I love a glass of white wine with dinner. Doesn’t happen every night so I listed “Socially” To each his own I suppose. Everyone’s life/history with alcohol, drugs, eating disorders etc. is going to be different and therefore what they will accept/not accept in a life partner will differ as well. I tend to shy away from people that list themselves as athletic and extremely proud of it as I “jump” to steroid use. It’s my red light...the light will be different for each and every person. Isn’t dating SO much fun! | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:10:20 AM | I'm fairly certain that when I met my ex on pof, he called himself a "social drinker." What a broad range of interpretations that had and wow, what it began to do to his behavior -- sober or after some drinks.
It doesn't seem to be the amount that matters but how it affects the person. I probably have also called myself a 'social drinker' only because I am not against having a drink. I like a glass of wine when I'm with friends for dinner. I've also treated myself to long, luxurious baths with a book and a glass of wine. So, sure, I have had a drink when by myself.
When I began to date my ex, having him bring a bottle over for dinner was nice. If 2 bottles were around, they'd both disappear. Somehow, I overlooked what were obvious warning signs. Only once we were married did the true violent begin. I suggested that we not drink, thinking he'd get control of his rages. Since I stopped drinking, he decided he could buy his preferred drink, beer.
That whole scenario is much more complicated. Although he never agreed to stop drinking, I have learned that it would not have stopped the irrational behavior. It would be great to know how to spot the differences between people who can have a drink, people who need a drink and people who seem to undergo personality transplant after having a drink. Unfortunately, people in that last category are very skilled at hiding from the rest of their personal circle their tendencies to go into rages. They save the real juicy stuff for the nearest and dearest behind closed doors. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 3/1/2009 7:47:57 AM | | I use to be the party king went out every weekend and 9 out of 10 times would end up getting drunk all the way up to my early forties. No amount of legal trouble, Stupid behavor, Money spent, Hangovers ect....... Deterred me from partying then about 2003 I had enough. I just got tired of the whole party life. Don't have anything against people doing it. I still drink from time to time just not like I use too. My idea of drinking now is 2-3 and not on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong I have overindulged once in a blue moon (Cancun,Mx.) But those days of wild weekend binges are LONG GONE And I don't miss it. | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 3/1/2009 8:23:31 AM | | Drinking 3 or m ore times a week could be interpreted as one glass of wine in the evening 3 times per week. If you are communicationg with someone and you are not sure about their dringking habits in comparison to yours, just say something like, "I am not much of a drinker, is this a problem for you?" | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 3/1/2009 9:08:59 AM | If you watch commercials on tv, you will realize there are billions of people who are encouraged to drink alcohol, and they do.
Then you see all the info about people who abuse alcohol.
You have to crunch the numbers. 99% of people who drink don't abuse alcohol.
The one's who do, have a hole in their soul. If they can ever fill that void ,say with
a higher power or something that makes them fill comfortable in their "own skin" then and only then will they quit the abuse !! | |
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| Drinking over 45
Posted: 3/1/2009 11:14:52 AM | | Other than when I was young (18-23) I've never much cared for alchohol. I do like a beer or a glass of wine now and again. I guess I average a six pack a month. I do tend to avoid profiles that state they drink 3 or more times a week. I have known too many people who have let excessive drinking rule and ruin their lives. | |
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