| MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:46:43 PM | My instinct is likely that it is one of two situations.
He really was interested at the moment, but in the light of day not so much. then he revives interest momentarily, and then....not so much. I've done this myself, it's kind of a "Ooh, great catch......maybe not.....well, I don't want to cut ties altogether because there seems to be some interest, maybe in a little want a fall-back on a rainy night" The interest is genuine, but the intentions are variable.
The other is that he just gets off on leading women on for the ego boost. It's nothing personal, and it's sometimes not even intentional. They thrive on attention and being pursued, and that someone of quality validates him and his self-worth. He can play the back-and-forth, cat-and-mouse for a while, but you are not the one that he will suddenly change his ways. He met you in a standard setup for him, you have not broken a pattern yet.
Be glad that you dodged a bullet, no matter how charming, handsome, or wealthy he is. At least he isn't one of the truly cruel, the ones who thrive on establishing a passionate relationship and make plans with you for the future, and his greatest joy the how hard your heart breaks when he decides to do it, usually as soon as he has another notch lined up.
Good luck. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:51:36 PM | I still think you should go for the finance guy 
Unfortunately, the comments about him likely being after sex are probably true. How many women spend hours talking to a guy, give him her number at his request, and never hear from him? They can't all just be short bus riders. There is nothing particularly sinister about the doctor thing but it is pretty retarded for someone that is out of his early twenties.
Since he is still in contact and you still like him, I would give him one more chance to get together and if he needs to reschedule again I would write him off and only talk to him as an acquaintance if you even want that much contact. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:11:02 PM | Maybe he just got caught up with his kids and life in general and thats all it is... I know I as a single parent and weekend parent have had that happen a few times and I tell people that somethings arn't set in stone and they will have to roll with it... lol... So roll with it...
So the next time you talk to him, just try and keep an open mind about things... | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:11:30 PM | don't ever feel stupid...it's happened to me a few times...but usually i say "nature of the on line dating beast" but in your case....who knows...PEOPLE are just that way sometimes...you just never know....it left me feeling like W T F....but i move on and i'd do it all over again ....experiences you can never pay for...LOL..you get those kinds for free..... | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 11:44:18 PM | I'm sorry and I hope I don't sound like a negative nelly, but a lie is a lie is a lie.....all in fun? Lying/pretending to be something your not is all in fun? Come on, think about it, that's a 'game' they play when they go out. Doesn't this send a red flag up for you that he's into playing games? If he didn't want to play a game on you - he would have said something that night.
Ok well first off let me say this. I hope nobody takes offence to this because it's not directed at anyone specifically, but from me being on here for quite sometime, I've noticed that many of you are always so distrustful and negative. Hell, it's no wonder half the people on here are single!
MANY of you are very presumptious and don't ever seem to give people the benefit of the doubt!
Is this how society has turned towards their fellow man/woman?
Now in regards to the quote I just posted.
I don't know if many of you do not get out much ,or do not ever drink, but I can tell you something right now. Sometimes while out partying (especially if drinking) and having fun with friends (and possibly others you meet while being out) it's easy to sometimes get carried away/wrapped up in things and forget the "nitty-gritty".
Now me personally, I don't lie. Nor do I have people lie for me. It's either people accept me for who I am or they're not worth me knowing/befriending. That's the way I see it. HOWEVER, in reference to this situation; perhaps he would have even told the OP even earlier about not really being a Doctor, but it slipped his mind and he only realized it the next morning after waking up and being sober.
HAVE YA EVER THOUGHT OF THAT POSSIBILITY? 
Geeze with such cynicism and negativity it's no wonder many of you are single.
You are your own worst enemy with the type of mindset of you carry.
Don't get me wrong. There is a POSSIBILITY that he may in fact be a player or what not, but it's too soon for ANYONE in this thread to make a well informed characterization. Anyone who tries is just speaking out of ignorance!
It may have just so happened that the week you two met, things had come up for him unexpectedly. Nobody here truly knows.
On a side note:
It baffles my mind to seen GROWN men and women on here throwing names as if they're back in elementary school calling people they don't know things like "jerk", "dork" etc.
Do you all ever re-read your posts and see how silly that is?
At 30 years old I grew out of that by about the age of 14 LOL
REAL MATURE ALRIGHT! | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:39:37 AM | What the hell does beauty have to do with anything here?
Here we go with the mentality North Americans get spoiled with.
If someone is beautiful and/or rich then they're to be treated differently than anyone else?
"She should not call him, she is beautiful".
It's this shitty mentality many women have that has them walking around with their noses in the air thinking they're better than anyone and everyone else and holier than shit!
How do you know "he does that and on to the next one"?
Yes it may be, but you don't know that for sure. You don't know the guy personally do you?
Some of you women think you have it all figured out and that ALL men are players, etc.
*shakes head in disbelief*
It baffles my mind how some people can speak from lack of knowledge/facts. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:42:49 AM | Life sometimes happens, things don't always go as planned when you have kids. Initially I thought he's probably married but if he was talking to you infront of his daughter I would assume not.
You have very little invested in this so far give him a break, relax, take a deep breath. If he calls and seems intent on making concrete plans roll with it, you seemed interested judging from your writing so why throw it away?? Just keep fishing in the mean time, you have pretty nice bait from what I can see so if you find something better before he gets his act together, that's part of the deal.
I can tell you from personal experience distance above 30-40 minutes can be a big problem in the light of day. You might be really attracted to someone in person but the reality of living an hour apart may have hit him at somepoint so he waffled on his commitment to making something happen. Driving 90-120 minutes round trip for a date is no big deal but doing it 2-3 times a week starts to look less and less attractive the more you think about it. Can't just get together for a bite after work, or to hang out and watch a movie etc etc.
At the end of the day he might be a player but you're not getting played. Your eyes are open so pay attention to the details. He'll either get better or continue to slip and you can kick him to the curb if he establishes a pattern. Very low investment, very low risk and you're interested, why just forget it if it might make you happy just protect yourself and don't put all your eggs in the basket until he demonstrates the basket is stable and reliable. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:59:36 AM | | OP, I have to go with msg 4 on this one...I just get a really hinky feeling when I'm reading what you've written...This guy and his friend pretend he's a doctor - why? So he can see what women might get excited about dating a doctor? He makes out with someone he's just met; huh - does he do that with everyone? He's already made plans once then never brought them up again, and didn't return your call specifically asking about the date he mentioned for that night. He then texts you and says 'call me'...why couldn't he call you? Sounds to me this guy is just looking to see how interested you are and mainly to see if he can get some easily. There doesn't have to be sex talk for him to only be looking for that; in fact, of he's smart, he'd make sure there wasn't any sex talk if that's his aim. He's had his chance to ask you out and hasn't come across as very interested in doing so. Don't you deserve better treatment than this? Don't you deserve someone who wants to be with you and who makes the effort to do so? | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:17:50 AM | I'm with CupidStrikes on this one.
The negativety on this thread is shocking.
Personally I was wondering why the OP even posted this thread. The guy tells you he has the stomach flu, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to infer that your date for that evening is postponed. Unless I misunderstood what night the date was scheduled for - it was kind of confusing.
Anyways, give the guy the benefit of the doubt until he proves he's untrustworthy. Assuming he has bad intentions will cause you to behave badly ie. suspicious, judgemental, etc... and he'll be the one chucking you. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:51:06 AM | Was there some part missing to this story that y'all secretely got engaged or something ? LOL No offense, but imo, you seem to be a little "obsessed" with someone you just met a few days ago at a "chance" meeting, not even an actual "date". And I'm with Cupid ~ what the hell does being beautiful have to do with whether you give someone a chance or not ???
JMO >>^..^<< | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:53:00 AM | First off you are a local girl so I have to answer this-
Honey - YOU just met him at a bar. Give it some time here-
life happens. You made plans with him, well maybe you are
not the only thing going on for him at this time. Just because
you met him out you are assuming he is Single and available-
Means nothing - like I said, could have other things going on if
you know what I mean.
Simply carry on - he will get in touch with you if he wants to see you
again. Sounds like he made all these plans and they all fell through.
I dont know- Really Good Italian Restaurant on 9th and Christian is Villa De Roma,
tell him when he calls to meet you there. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:32:01 AM | OP, I might be way off, but from what I read of your posts, it would appear that he meant to go out for dinner on Tuesday (ie: tonight), since Monday didn't work for him (as he told you on Sunday), and Tuesday wasn't good for you to leave town...
I'd give it a little bit before jumping to any conclusions. it's been a weekend that you've known him ~ chill
ps ~ any updates?? | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:36:12 AM | | Because honey men lie..... I have had this happen to me more times than I even wanna think about, In fact it has just happened approx 30 mins ago.... Made arrangements to see a guy tonight, I re arranged my shift at work for tomorrow morning, all of which he knew about only to be blown out as Im walking out the door to drive to meet him!!!! I am becoming very cynical..... Where are all the nice guys????? | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:53:42 AM | I guess I'm with the Cupid crew in that I'm wondering why everyone is already looking to pin the player tag on the guy. So he and his friend do a spiel where they play him off as doctor initially. Did he not retract that statement shortly after. Breaking the ice can be difficult at any age as far as I can tell, so puffing up ones self image is a feasible concept.
Further more life is unpredictable, and you have to remember that they just met and things come up. Not everything we want in life comes out exactly the way we planned. Truth could be that perhaps he is a player, but theirs signs that go either way. People just have to realize that they are trying to get to know a person here, not reading a billboard.
I would just say, try going on a first real date or two before entirely make up your mind. Hell even if the first date goes great (hopefully there will be first one), thats no reason to start breaking out the wedding invitations. Things take time. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:00:57 AM |
I'd rather eat sand than try to keep up with yet another dating prospect of the OP's.
ugh
Drama, drama, drama
I haven't posted on here in quite a long time. Haven't dated in months, and all my situations are different. In fact, this is a guy I met in a BAR. I haven't met a guy in a bar in ages. (so the online bullshit can't factor into anything)
If you don't like my threads, don't read them. It's as simple as that...unless of course YOU ARE THE ONE WHO LIKES DRAMA. No need for attacking an OP.
As my mom used to say, "If you don't like it...go stand on your head and POUND sand"...much nicer than eating it! | |
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