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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/23/2007 10:56:56 PM |
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED. I mean, why not call me back and say "Hey, can we do this another night, since my stomach is a little weak" or
"Sorry, but I'm going to have to reschedule, can I call you later this week"???
I JUST DON'T GET IT. WHY FAKE AFFECTION? ...(and in the words of Bill Ingvall..."HERE's YOUR SIGN")... There was NO SEX talk...so it didn't appear at all like that's what he was after (and he didn't try anything that night) AND he seemed very interested considering he called me all weekend and talked about seeing me again....
ANY OPINIONS WOULD BE APPRECIATED.
...well prolly because it didn't appear at all like that's what you were after...
IMHO
-Susan | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/24/2007 7:28:51 AM | This behaviour is really terrible!
First of all, the very fact that he admitted to lying about the doctor thing says GAMES louder than anything LOL
People in bars are just not good for dating usually, because if they are not with someone already, they are (A) drinking and not totally in their right mind and (B) most likely looking to get laid .. not find a girlfriend. Not a fun reality, but true.
Move on and don't look back, bet he isn't ......  | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:57:55 AM | well, hmmm... here is what i actually said:
altho, i am wondering why, since last night (wasn't that the date?) the OP hasn't given us another one of her status updates?
i hope she's ok.
i hope you're ok, OP! and that all went well for you!
hmm, given exactly what i said, and not some other collection of words, i fail to see how it is possible to leap to the conclusion that this is a reference to her "safety." there has been no discussion of safety on this thread, and i indicated nothing about safety concerns in that post or any other. to go there is obvious hyperbole and very poor reading. it appears to me that the READING comprehension problem is not on my end but is a problem you repeatedly experience. and, because i am something of a pedant, i do feel compelled to point out that the subject was about YOUR reading of MY words, fun in the sun, not my reading of anything at all. (it is an ironic and rather humorous error on your part that i did at least get a chuckle out of -- i mean, it's kinda funny when someone is getting all up in somebody's face with anger or self-righteous indignation AND when what they're saying is wrong. :-))
additionally, the general point that i took from cindy z was that she was suggesting to the OP that she chill out about things and not stress so much -- my comment was not about whether she should or should not date the guy. (how i feel about that has already been made clear. altho -- that's not precisely true. what i had said before was that *I* would not date a guy who i knew lied to me.) and, surprise surprise, i even explained it in the very same message. had you actually read it, you might have noticed how i remarked that i agreed with people's views that she should stop stressing so much about things and chill.
in other words, if a person is as freaked out as this OP seems about every teeny tiny aspect of her interaction with the guy, maybe they should take a break from dating and come back at a time when they are cooler about it.
..."the antichrist?" wha???? are you on something? "threw him under a bus?" are you kidding???? how exactly do you get from "lying is a big problem" to "the guy's the antichrist" ????
the even more perplexing question is why you keep coming at ME with this stuff when what i said about the "big lie" was said by umpteen thousand other people on this very same thread? why you are so dedicated to carefully mis-reading everything i say and then attacking me with your misunderstandings?
if you want other girls on this site to like you? stop paying so much attention to me.
whatever the issue is? get over it.
i am not here to fight with people or do this tit for tat shit where every word i utter is picked apart and turned into some other meaning entirely -- get over whatever thing you have with me (love? jealousy? i remind you of your mother? who knows!) and get back on topic.
cheers all!  | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/24/2007 5:28:13 PM | LOL, merf, you're really making me laugh, but to be honest I'm laughing at you not with you.
First let me digress into an English lesson and explain something about the use of the conjunction 'and'
i hope she's OK.
i hope you're ok, OP! and that all went well for you! see how you use the word and? that implies that you're talking about two separate things. In this case two thoughts. I'm bringing chips to the party is different than I'm bringing chips and a hand grenade to the party. Since you've previously stated what you meant was I hope your date went well. or to quote you directly
i meant ok in the sense of not disappointed so if we put your meanings together you are saying
I hope you're not disappointed, I hope you're not disappointed, and that all went well for you. Just a tad redundant wouldn't you say? I'm really not trying to "get on you here" but I have a pet peeve about peanut gallery bashers and snipers not to mention people who can't admit when they're wrong and/or lie. Considering what a big deal you've made about honesty and that you never lie I'm wondering how many people here believe you're being honest about your intent. Throw as much spin as you like, it's not helping. If you really meant you hope the datewent well why would you say and i hope the date went well in the same sentence. I hope it doesn't rain and I hope there's no precipitation.???
i mean, it's kinda funny when someone is getting all up in some body's face with anger or self-righteous indignation AND when what they're saying is wrong. :-)) First I'm not angry, I'm never angry on-line, I just find your aggressive negative posts to be somewhat less than good natured so I decided to call you on it. Second I don't appear to be wrong. Judging from my mailbox I'm not alone in my reasoning. I really think you're making a mistake bringing up reading comprehension. Yours is awful either through intent to deceive or lack of understanding.
Case in point:
the general point that i took from cindy z... you actually made no distinction about a single point you said "good points cindy z" this implies you agree with her post not a portion thereof. Is my comprehension failing me or are you just sort of a forum troll trying to spin things.
you've been all over the poster and the subject of her post since the thread opened. The line about antichrist and throw him under the bus are hyperbole and colloquial slang respectively. I was trying to make a point that you haven't said anything even remotely "moderate" in the entire thread. Apparently you failed to comprehend this. I don't think anyone but you thought I was implying you actually called him the antichrist or actually threw him under a bus. In fact I said "basically equating him..." once again it's your comprehension that seems to be lagging or maybe that's just convenient to the spin you're trying to sell.
if you want other girls on this site to like you? stop paying so much attention to me. LMAO, I'm going to go way out on a limb and say thanks but judging by your pessimism and negativity I don't need your help in finding dates.
I haven't misread ANYTHING you've said you just don't like being called on the carpet for being so outlandishly negative. I don't have any issue with you at all other than the tenor of your posts serves little or no purpose and you seem intent on making sure others are as unhappily alone as you appear to be. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/24/2007 5:53:57 PM | I think the 'doctor' thing is kinda funny. It's his buddy's idea and maybe he never though he'd meet someone who liked him that night.
When I go to clubs with my best friend, she often uses another name. Her own name is rather unusual and sometimes difficult to pronounce. Also quite memorable. She doesn't want to go through having several different guys ver the course of the night trying to pronounce it if it is not going to go anywhere nor does she want a possible looney to remember it. Only person in the country with that name.
On the few occasions she dated someone she met in a bar or club, she would tell them her actual name and why she made it up almost right away. She never lost a guy over it.
And he told OP the next day. People were enjoying themselves, drinking and it is a game his buddy made up, it doesn't ecessarily make him a 'game player' as a way of life.
I have a feeling he will tell his buddy to cut it out, lol | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/24/2007 7:59:39 PM | I agree with Oggers, He's married, a loser, he was attentive because it fed his ego, he called because it feeds his ego to hear your interest in him!
The red flags aren't as brightly displayed when you are in the situation, take a step back and really look at it. That's why he didn't call back (wife stepped into room, came home, etc).
You can do better! And I agree with the other posters, picking up a guy at a bar isn't potential for forever, good luck to you. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:24:12 PM | Holy, holy, holy cow - this thread is cracking me up!! Some folks need a dose of REALITY.
First of all, how many of us remember dating BEFORE the internet? Wasn't meeting in a bar or a club pretty much run-of-the-mill? So many people on here say they are looking for romance; no matter where you meet a person, there is always the chance of a connection - that's why you get out of the pub and go on a date! To get to know the person away from his friends. If you don't give romance a chance, you're never gonna find it.
I think the doctor story told by his friend is hysterical! Since I'm not one to be impressed by a degree, I've learned to take those things in stride...remember the Las Vegas commercials (I'm Lucy, this is Ethel, I'm Ginger, this is MaryAnne)? People who go out to have fun usually do. IF they happen to meet someone who sparks their interest while they're out, cool! Personally, I find someone who's laughing and goofing with their friends in a way that *I* find funny to be very attractive. But laughing and goofing doesn't always make for a whole lotta romance. So you exchange numbers.
Then, life happens. Daily stuff takes over, and plans must be changed, sometimes you have time to give notice, sometimes you don't. But that doesn't take away from who a person is and what potential relationship might be missed by blowing the whole thing off completely.
There's not a human on this planet who doesn't deserve a chance and/or the benefit of the doubt. Open your heart and start looking for the good in people rather than slamming a door and looking for the bad. The guy or girl sitting next to you in the bar, in church, at the movie, wherever, is NOT YOUR EX who lied to you, cheated on you, stole from you, whatever... Everyone is an individual - you cannot know them unless you make an effort. I believe there's someone out there for everyone - you're not gonna find the one for you if you shut the door like that - it's worth the effort to leave it open - even with the chain still on. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/27/2007 5:30:34 AM | Signs and Signals - inconsistancies - contradictions - bottom line putting up with such baloney is not wise. Sounds like he could be married.
People who can't follow through and do what they say they can do - with the kind of pattern you describe - well how in the world could you even consider being concerned about this fellow?
Turn the page. You're good looking - find a man with some substance - they are out there. I suggest you reconsider what it is that you want in a man - flash or substance.
Joe | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:07:52 AM | First of all, a computer sales man - not very exciting... Now a doctor that is impressive. My brothers used to tell girls they were pilots to impress them (still at school at the time)
Secondly, he has given his home number, mobile number and told you where he lives, works etc... Would someone in a commited relationship do that for fear of you ringing him at home and his partner answering the phone?
Finally, if he works on the road, he may get his timetable on a daily basis and cannot make definite plans.
He has called you back so there must be a deffinite interest on his part. Play it cool with him because from what you say he sounds nice. | |
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/29/2007 3:27:23 PM | HI ALL......I'm back to GIVE YOU AN UPDATE
Sorry I didn't update you sooner, but I've been busy with my life....not only my personal, but my professional life as well.
I'm going to try and address some posts before I UPDATE y'all.....
@merf
i meant ok in the sense of not disappointed -- she is obviously a person who really stresses about things and takes things personally and is ...worrisome and sensitive. that is clear from all her posts to this thread. (i agree with everyone who said she was too worried about everything and should chill.)
No offense, but just 'cause I posted about this, doesn't mean I 'really stress about things, take things personally, am worrisome and sensitive'. Please don't label me.
I was confused when I posted about the intial plans. That does NOT mean I am any of the aforementioned. Because I posted about it, doesn't mean I'm not 'chilling'.
Incidentally, I did just that. I didn't lose sleep over it. Didn't wait by the phone (in fact, here's a shocker....I didn't even CARRY MY CELL on my person, 'in case I got THE CALL)
@
Walk away you have already embarrassed yourself. You are likd 40 years old now. Why waste time and spend 10 years more on situtations that you are unsure of. Go find a guy that is totally into you and is all about you.
Excuse me, BUT how did I embarrass myself???? You got me there on that one? THAT CONFUSES ME!!! I have a personal rule. I don't waste time on a guy who's NOT INTO ME. If I don't get that 'vibe from him', it's "NEXT". More on this later.....
You nailed it EXACTLY. He doesn't have a job and didn't have the money at the diner. Did I miss something? - What happened to the smashed guy's girl? Where'd she go? You are right about the 'her place' thing too, Except for a chivilrous guy would propose picking up a woman
He does have a job. (I googled him, and his work number. Confirmed! AND he DID offer to drive up to see me in my neighborhood. I declined because there is more to do in Center City. AND that's where I wanted to go. He lives about 50 min South of me, with Center City in between us (about 30 min from my place) and I don't think it's right for him to drive 30 miles to meet me up here, then me follow him another 20 miles South, when he would have passed it on his way here. IMHO, that's asking a lot, even from a chivalrous guy on a first date.
Most scenerios: he's a monster, she likes him. Only rational advice: let them procreate and then she can start her own thread about alien babies and how monsters can't change diapers effectively. Pretty simple.
No. 1. I have NO IDEA whatsoever about a friend of a friend of a friend you are talking about and/or 'cousin???? You lost me there. No. 2. Your scenario....not even CLOSE.
@merf AGAIN....
in other words, if a person is as freaked out as this OP seems about every teeny tiny aspect of her interaction with the guy, maybe they should take a break from dating and come back at a time when they are cooler about it
OH MY GOD! You are in NO WAY in a position to make any judgements about me or my actions. When I posted and you inferred 'teeny tiny aspect'....I provided INFORMATION FOR A THREAD WITH D E T A I L S ....which is what people who post LIKE when you post!! Merf, you don't know me. Please, don't judge me.
I think the 'doctor' thing is kinda funny. It's his buddy's idea and maybe he never though he'd meet someone who liked him that night
This comment is my take on it. AND that's what I BELIEVE. ....no one on here is going to change my mind about that. Period.
@Allie
Holy, holy, holy cow - this thread is cracking me up!! Some folks need a dose of REALITY.
First of all, how many of us remember dating BEFORE the internet? Wasn't meeting in a bar or a club pretty much run-of-the-mill? So many people on here say they are looking for romance; no matter where you meet a person, there is always the chance of a connection - that's why you get out of the pub and go on a date! To get to know the person away from his friends. If you don't give romance a chance, you're never gonna find it.
I think the doctor story told by his friend is hysterical! Since I'm not one to be impressed by a degree, I've learned to take those things in stride...remember the Las Vegas commercials (I'm Lucy, this is Ethel, I'm Ginger, this is MaryAnne)? People who go out to have fun usually do. IF they happen to meet someone who sparks their interest while they're out, cool! Personally, I find someone who's laughing and goofing with their friends in a way that *I* find funny to be very attractive. But laughing and goofing doesn't always make for a whole lotta romance. So you exchange numbers.
Then, life happens. Daily stuff takes over, and plans must be changed, sometimes you have time to give notice, sometimes you don't. But that doesn't take away from who a person is and what potential relationship might be missed by blowing the whole thing off completely.
There's not a human on this planet who doesn't deserve a chance and/or the benefit of the doubt. Open your heart and start looking for the good in people rather than slamming a door and looking for the bad. The guy or girl sitting next to you in the bar, in church, at the movie, wherever, is NOT YOUR EX who lied to you, cheated on you, stole from you, whatever... Everyone is an individual - you cannot know them unless you make an effort. I believe there's someone out there for everyone - you're not gonna find the one for you if you shut the door like that - it's worth the effort to leave it open - even with the chain still on.
You have had ONE of the most sensible, rational, smartest responses to my thread so far (along with some others who I have already acknowledged) I'm GLAD I followed your advice before I even read it (that means I was thinking exactly like you do)
@merf AGAIN!!!!
... my guess? that she has never come back? this means the news is probably not good... had things worked out? seems pretty likely the OP would have come back and given her report.
perhaps she is too embarrassed?
Absolutely 110% way off. Wrong on both guesses.
funinthesun
now she doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to return to PoF??? maybe she's started a relationship and doesn't feel the need to spend her time on a dating site. maybe work has gotten hectic. maybe she had a death in the family. maybe there other outside forces impacting her life that you're totally unaware of and now to make the scenario fit your hypothesis you're jumping to worst case conclusions... does this make you feel better? do you take some subtle glee in all relationships failing?
Dude you are ONE SMART man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Work has been hectic. In fact....this past Monday a visiting nurse from another agency was brutally beaten outside her car, about 300 yards from a house where I was at..doing the same thing. It was all over the Philadelphia news and my work had all of us nurses, staff in for meetings on safety etc....(not to mention, it spooked me quite a bit.) The next day, I was so scared in a bad neighborhood, I locked my keys in my car.....
2. As a matter of fact, there was a death in my family. My ex-fiance's mom died on June 8th, (we have an 8 yr old son together) and I am very close to the family still...so last Saturday I was at the Memorial Service. She wasn't even cremated yet, because...they think there may have been some medical malpractice and since I AM THE NURSE IN THE FAMILY....my ex, his siblings, they all came to me for help, support and advice. So, yeah...my son's grandmom just died!
 HERE'S THE UPDATE I OWE YOU ALL!!!!
We've been out together 4 times since I posted. He has been calling me everday since the day we met (sometimes twice). We went out to an Italian restaurant (which was $$$, romantic and had fantastic food). After that, we went to see "Knocked Up" and laughed our asssses off....We have been out dancing since, out to lunch, (even did some bar hopping in a trendy neighborhood with a couple of HIS friends - I've met 2 so far....)
I haven't been HAPPIER IN AGES. When we talk on the phone, it's usually quick, but he still manages to make me laugh everytime. Because we've gotten to know each other more, I do not believe for 1 minute he's 'still married' or 'married' OR even seeing anyone. WE talked about the 'doctor lie' and not only did he apologize for going along with it, but he promised never to lie to me about anything again.
I am pretty sure he's INTO me. Yeah, sometimes I've been wrong....but I met his friends and some of the things they told me in innocent coversation lead me to believe he is....(LIKE they knew all about me.....obviously he's been telling them about me).
He's 110% a gentleman. Not only chilvalrous, but just sweet. He still hasn't even ventured South when he and I have kissed. I'm not stupid, I know how men are wired.....but he's really respectful to me. Our conversations are great, never dull...we laugh together, and just have been having a GREAT time. IN case anyone is wondering...he reminds me sort of like Vince Vaughn. (not only in looks, but his sense of humor) The more we talk and have seen each other, the more it seems to get better.
His manners are great (when say...we eat lunch or dinner)....he's respectfuly affectionate in the same way I am which makes me feel like we click. He's goofy sometimes, but not in a bad way, in a way that makes ME LAUGH. He seems to balance out my more 'serious side'. And...I love that!!!
He's not a bum loser. He's a computer network engineer. IS ON THE ROAD A LOT, and HE's absolutely CRAZY about his two little girls, which I think is endearing and touching. From what I can tell, he's a good father. And that is an attractive quality to me....
I really can't say enough good about the time we've talked, been out, and gotten to know each other....When I heard him talking to his friends about some things coming up in the next month or two (summer kind of stuff) beach, day trips, etc....he has 'included me'. So, I'm guessing and hoping that means he plans to continue seeing me, because I have every intention of seeing him more if he wants to.
I have nothing but good vibes, good feelings about the whole thing.....so
YES EVERYONE; I haven't posted because I have been out there in the 3D world, enjoying it and continuing to be 'cautiously optimistic'.
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| A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/29/2007 9:32:56 PM |
We've been out together 4 times since I posted. He has been calling me everday since the day we met (sometimes twice). We went out to an Italian restaurant (which was $$$, romantic and had fantastic food). After that, we went to see "Knocked Up" and laughed our asssses off....We have been out dancing since, out to lunch, (even did some bar hopping in a trendy neighborhood with a couple of HIS friends - I've met 2 so far....)
I haven't been HAPPIER IN AGES.
that's wonderful news, OP! i am VERY happy for you!!!! being happier than you've been in ages -- that's what it's all about. very glad to hear it...
and btw, i was one of the people being nice to you on this thread (unlike some others) and was simply trying to answer your questions and tell you my perspective on things -- i am a bit surprised by these negative responses from you.
oh well... not important.
best of luck with the guy!!!! | |
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