| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/20/2007 5:31:41 PM | I don't understand why someone wouldn't want to get to know the person unless they are not lookong for the person but a doll to put on there shelf sometimes and a blow up doll other times.
i perfer "avrage" as its just pretter in generl to be a little thick and have a tummy and hips, gives you somethng to gab on too!!!!
when it comes to looks i have to like the way they look - this is where im very picky- but im not attracted to traditional beauty and models make me want to puke (litterly), maybe its just the attempt to look so genericly attactive and fit a mold. i like what i like and sometimes i can be blown away by what i like at times, maybe its the overall feel more than the look. once this dorkish looking girl who was short with glasses and a thick figure droped my jaw too the floor. im sure she was wondering WTF when she saw me looking.
ash | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/20/2007 6:29:37 PM | What is attractive in my eyes may not necessarily be attractive in anothers. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's all personal preference. If a man finds me and I find him attractive, it is very flattering but certainly not anything to base a relationship on.
I prefer a man who looks to the inner beauty and is personable. The heart is the most beautiful part of a person because it defines who we are. It is the things you cannot see that are often the most important and beauty on the outside can change in an instant.
We just have to consider this person may be the one we will be spending the rest of our lives with. Partners should compliment one another and be able to cherish and touch each other deeply. To experience living and fulfilling every moment together by making everlasting memories that linger on. Having common interests and having something that binds you together gives you more options to work together. Characteristics, ones manorism, and a good heart in the long run makes the difference to me. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/20/2007 7:52:11 PM |
Let’s remember though, unless a person is attractive, and or rich, most people will not stick around long enough to become familiar with that person’s characteristics. But of course, people say otherwise.
c'mon, n&w, that's generalization of the highest level!!! i am, more often than not, attracted to those with quirky appearances and good natures. go figure!!  i admit, traditional good looks are appealing, but are often aligned with undesireable character traits. i much prefer the offbeat looking guy with the heart of gold. and, i don't need any one else's $$$. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:09:01 PM | Might draw me but far from keep me...Me wants substance witty Dude ....substance!!! You can not tell by looking... nopers ya can't...It is SO much more than looks...at this point in the game I have to smell them (they must stink good!)
Hey pof.... can you add smellavision????  | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:19:23 PM | Visual attraction to a mate is instinctive - in the genes. It is almost all based upon being able to conceive, deliver and raise a child and provide food and shelter. All formed along millions of years of evolution. All still with us in 2007 -- needed or not.
In this modern age is does not go away - even when we live so much longer and much of it no longer applies.
Examples -- there is an visual ratio of body curvature that men seek in women - almost unconsciously. This is related to hips, waist and bust - too thin all over or too fat and time tested ingrained experience says she may not successfully conceive or carry to term. Width of the pelvis in women in relationship to the waist size is seen a being able to deliver a child and not die. It is called survival of the species.
Males must show signs of being able to bring home the bacon (musculature, clear healthy skin, etc. - a.k.a. he is healthy or has signs of wise actions in counsel to advise and keep the tribe safe.
There are many factors - such as symmetry of the face. The more exact symmetry of the face (halves split vertically in the middle) the more respondents see the face as beautiful, attractive and desirable
If you don't believe me - then do some serious research and you will find the truth.
Joe | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 11:54:18 AM | | It astounds me how as we get older we soon forget how essential physical attraction is to the onset of an initial affair. Indeed! One may say: “I am attracted to the physical, but held by the inner beauty.” This I have no qualm with; just keep in mind, that if it had not of been for the physical, there would have been given no opportunity to learn of the mental. As shallow and harsh as it may come across, attractiveness, according to both scientists and psychologists, is a survival trait; thus, it affects us both consciously as well as unconsciously. People can save face, but in all honesty, people would rather date and be associated with physically appealing people; and if they are in possession of a pleasant personality, how much more could one ask for! Aside from lucre that is! | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 12:10:05 PM | Studies, shmudies!! It is a FACT that people with confidence are more successful. When we were in high school, it was normal to feel like no one wanted you if you were not the most attractive one in school, but that was then. ThanK God it's over.
I do not believe that I am ugly, but nor do I have model good looks. I'm average looking with a great personality, intelligence, wit, and charm. If the people conducting this very scientific( ) study were to rate me on appearance only, they'd probably give me a 6 or 7. And yet I am happier than ever and have achieved more success in my 4 years at my career than most do in 30 years. I have the respect and admiration of my colleagues, more friends than I can keep up with, and absolutely no problem meeting men. In fact, I often date men who would probably be "rated" higher than me. But I have also dated men who were balding, very over-weight, and older than me. What attracted me? CONFIDENCE.  | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 2:35:39 PM |
Good looking people have happier lives. They have better marriages or more sex partners, depending on their lifestyle. They make more money. The get better grades in school. The less good looking you are the harder you have to work at life, if you choose to compete for things and not just be content with what comes easy."
Yes you are right that western culture favors and worships image, and does so unfairly. There are many social studies that confirm this. On a basic level "pretty" people have most things easier and have many things handed to them as gratuity.It is one of the sickening things about America.
A lot of people fall for this standard of living, but most outgrow it. However image is not an accurate reflection of the individual. Most evil people understand the power of image and use it like any other tool to manipulate the unsuspecting. It is just a caveat of human living. anyone who does not keep this in mind is a fool.
Image changes. Looks fade. Beauty lasts eternal -- unless corrupted by evil things. What is on the outside is not beauty. Beauty is a feeling and an energy, just as some people carry very special auras that we find entrancing. There is more beauty in a woman's enjoyment of her pleasure enduced by a man then there there is in all the phony cosmetic attempts to sell ones sexuality. There will always be weak-minded people who will argue this.
People are attracted to contentment (sometimes mistakenly mixed up with confidence -- or "inner beauty") Those People happy with their sexual prowness, health, and experiences are far more valued then someone who only has looks or money alone. Just look at how some men chase a married or attached woman with that glow of satisfaction. It is a shame that as a society we reduce it to such a simplistic and shallow motivation.
But as Shakespeare said - looks provoke thieves sooner then gold.
"Alas poor tasty codfish -- I knew thee well" -->  | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 5:16:26 PM | Visual attraction is the initial catch or hook but after 5mins even the best looker can appear shallow.. and dull.. Character is the ingredient of the whole cake and personality being the icing on the cake..
The dynamic often seems to be without generalising here that two people seem to follow ying and yang thang whereby you are attracted to what your level of maturity is about and or you get hooked to the surface but with the length of time taken to get to know someone the depth of character comes in and that can be where the hook lies, or not as the case may be.. The hook or catch doesnt just lie with surface attraction. Thats why sex too soon can completely destroy this process.. compredi? ;) If you got a non looker and no character or personality then forget it mate! Lol Then again beauty lies in the eye of the beholder and theres always someone for somebody somewhere.. If thats what you want but I believe it all happens naturally or unconsciously.. When you go looking it all seems too artificial! | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 5:24:00 PM | the attention you're talking about that visually attractive people get isn't always positive attention. people who aren't as attractive aren't seen as a threat that must get squashed... QUICKLY beauty is a gift and a curse, just like anything else. money, fame... and so on and so forth | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 5:27:00 PM | Choices, choices, god almighty, I want the whole freakin candy store I'm afraid life is about choices rather we like it or not. However in Life 101, looks are easy come and easy go. None of us will be young, beautiful, handsome, stud muffins, or sex goddesses, forever. No sirreee, I'm afraid that "Murphy's Law" or "The Law of Gravity" will grab each of us in the ass when we aren't looking. I've been told that I'm a Plain Jane. So be it, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Guess what? Ol Plain Jane here has had some very wonderful relationships, and was in a marriage for 10 years. I don't view it as a "challenge" to have a fella in my life, just because of the way I look. If my looks fail me, Life 101 tells me that I need other attributes besides my good looks to bring to the table. In fact, he will love me just the way I am!
BTW - people will take you for granted if you allow them too. Doesn't matter if you have beauty or loads of dough in your pocket.
Kindness, caring, honesty, and genuine love, is utterly PRICELESS! Looks? Hmm, you may have to consult your Mastercard, Personal Trainer, or your Plastic Surgeon. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 5:37:09 PM | Physical attraction between the sexes and what it entails has been documented to a very high degree.
I find it amusing that people on this thread wish to deny reality because they are not in high school any more or that they are a nice person. IT DOESN'T MATTER . . .
Initial sexual attraction is - the core of attraction - it does not change much - except in very old age and deny it if you will - if it makes you feel better. Yes - having other qualities after the lust wears off helps - but there has to be that initial physical atraction.
Hey - I am no physical specimen - didn't do to badly in my youth - but the truth is truth. Things have changed for most of us - deal with it the best you can - but denial of reality won't help matters.
Joe | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 6:05:27 PM | vahbsc wrote -
the attention you're talking about that visually attractive people get isn't always positive attention. people who aren't as attractive aren't seen as a threat that must get squashed... QUICKLY beauty is a gift and a curse, just like anything else. money, fame... and so on and so forth
Yes I know that is true, but at the same time it comes down to perspective. People who fit the image of "highly coveted" due to being attractive get far more of a better deal then average or lesser folks. Two of my exes were extremely attractive and pretty women -- so I have seen the effect that you speak of, and the drain/curse it can play on what is expected of them. My comments were not an attack -- just making a note.
JD said -Physical attraction between the sexes and what it entails has been documented to a very high degree. I find it amusing that people on this thread wish to deny reality because they are not in high school any more or that they are a nice person. IT DOESN'T MATTER . . .
Superficially yes -- but that still does not validate the practice or make it right to judge people by appearance. Are you one of those people who thinks only "beautiful people" deserve to breed or get all the breaks in life?
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 44 | |
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| A double edged sword..
Posted: 6/21/2007 6:40:57 PM | | In a nutshell yes visual attraction can be a double-edged sword.. | |
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| A double edged sword..
Posted: 6/21/2007 7:00:03 PM | Draws ? It certainly helps.
Keeps ? Unless there's something beyond looks......no. | |
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| A double edged sword..
Posted: 6/21/2007 7:16:26 PM | For Me I would choose love and kindness..and I think it goes way beyond visual..I also think it takes a person with imagination w/ excitement to keep a man/woman attracted...Looks fade little by little over time ..but the love and kindness remain along with the imagination and excitement... | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/21/2007 7:20:29 PM | bubble Boy
"It" has nothing to do with superficiality - nothing at all. It has to do with built in instinct and the drive to survive - even when it does not apply in this socially PC correct times and at older age.
Genetics - DNA, Genes and the hormones they produce drive the attraction and govern the realrules of the quest.
Sociaital rules attempt to control all this - but it does not really work - because instinctive drive - drives all.
Joe | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/22/2007 5:35:04 PM | Visual attraction, especially online, seems to me to be the initial "hook" but once that draws you in closer, so you can truly know each other, thats what keeps you together. Thats why when we age and no longer turn heads, we can stay together because of who we are and what we have shared and how we have grown together.
In realspace I think looks are less of a factor. Many women I meet ion realspace may not look like models but are lovely people, inside, where it counts. The lovelier the soul, the sexier the woman. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 6/22/2007 5:58:10 PM |
Well, my idea of that came from studies that compared how people did in life by how attractive there were. Maybe those studies were wrong, but I doubt it. It's pretty easy to do. You get a sample of people, rate their looks, compare their levels of success in various areas, and find out who does better. That's what they did and they found out the better looking people did better in life in the categories they measured, including a person's rating of their own level of happiness. Actually, that's surprising, because they have done programmes on this, and most of the more attractive people said that they got themselves into more problems because of their attractiveness. I knew quite a few very attractive women, and they were always dating a different man, but complaining that a man never called them, or that their current guy was being emotionally abusive or violent. Plus, a lot of them got raped. But the average-looking women I know are all happily married now. They all got a lot less dates, to be sure, but the ones that they did get were nicer people and were nicer to them in general. Plus, they were a lot more realistic about what really mattered in relationships. They all expected to be employed based on their skills and not their looks, and so worked very hard, and that is exactly what happened. But the really attractive ones were offered jobs, and then pigeon-holed in jobs like a receptionist, where they were only there to meet and greet, or something similar. So, I'd have to say that looks open a lot more doors, to be sure, but that they are never taken seriously. | |
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