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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:44:12 PM | | Here , here , I agree with unzippedpassion !! Besides physical attraction is in the eyes of the beholder . I've had men say they they are good looking but sorry not to me ---nice looking but that's it. And it's the personality that counts the most --not just your picture but your bio that you post about yourself that tells a bit about yourself that attracts responses from others on the system ,right ???????? | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 7/17/2007 6:32:01 AM | | I have gone out with men that were really not that good looking. But it was either their sense of humor or their kindness inside that made them far more good looking to me then those so called adonisis's out there. It's true, looks fade, but it's the inside that doesn't. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 7/17/2007 6:40:03 AM | | I'd be lying if I said attraction doesn't matter, of course it does. My tastes vary a great deal, I have to be attracted to him first. Is this all I need ? No!! I have dated very attractive men who opened their mouths and ruined it all. I need and want someone I'm attracted to and who treats me good, and all that fun stuff. Does he have to look like Johnny Depp? It would be nice, but no!! As long as I like lookin at him and listening to him talk we're good to go. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 7/17/2007 1:30:09 PM | Have you ever noticed that when you meet somebody you are not physically attracted to but you get along extremely well they become more and more attractive each week?
A genuinely nice person is attractive - bottomline. We just need to take the time to get to know people and not to expect instant fireworks.
Relationships based on just physical attraction seem to fizzle rather quickly once you finally make it out of bed and actually want to have a "realtionship" | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:58:02 AM | There is nothing better than meeting someone, who in your eyes, is ok looking, and after chatting with them, they become very attractive to you...and nothing worse than a man who is "hot"...and talking to him for 5 minutes, and walking away feeling nauseous | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 8/22/2007 4:46:06 AM | I dearly agree that we need to take time to get to know others—but most of the time—we only show our attentions to those that we are initially attracted to. Think of it—when a person is unattractive to us—we may speak with them—but our intentions are purely platonic. Ideally, we should get to know others and allow their personality to be the determining factor. However, this is far from how things actually are. So as many have already said—initially—it’s the physical that attracts us—and thus the personality that keeps us—or rather—enhances our attraction.
But it’s amazing how if a person isn’t to us first attractive—we maintain a disposition of formalities and internal distance/aloofness—but if the person is attractive to us—we flirt and extend to that person certain partialities and openness.
Thus, despite the camouflage and phraseologies—people first take into account the physical—and then the personality comes into play. And as for getting to know a person and then their personality makes them ever the more attractive to you—this is true. Nevertheless, it doesn’t change the fact that we open up quickly to those who are perceived as attractive to us—and those who are perceived as otherwise—they are left to perform and show that their personality more than accounts for what they lack in the physical-attraction-department. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 10/2/2007 8:26:24 PM | funfunmmo is right on..............
"A genuinely nice person is attractive - bottomline. We just need to take the time to get to know people and not to expect instant fireworks."
And it also makes me feel very lucky when I realize that my idea of attractive isn't the popular one - there are lot's of men I find really appealing on this site that don't fit the Adonis mold at all. Ever met that guy with the fantastic physique and fabulous voice and then you notice that when he smiles that killer smile it only moves his mouth? That his eyes have no soul? A man with a kind heart that shows in his eyes and in his smile melts my heart - pretty is as pretty does. | |
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L-Bo
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Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 93 | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 4/16/2008 1:49:57 PM | | I just have to say, I think it's unfair to determine the quality of ones life, or their relationships based upon their appearance. You might as well hold any standard as an advantage, like do rich people lead more fulfilling and exciting lives than poor? One of the common themes throughout this discussion has been that mediocre women find that men do not stick around long enough to get to know their inner beauty. I just have to say, that is exactly the same problem beautiful people have. When a man sees a beautiful woman, more often than not he seems disinterested in anything you have to say, your intelect or personality. I feel if anything, a less attractive woman has a way better chance at finding a man who will respect and love her for who she really is, and perhaps even prompt men to seek out that inner beauty. When men are so smitten with your appearance, it seems they have no need to look for that inner beauty, even when that is what should truly make someone love you. I'm sure I will heed a lot of disagreement from my viewpoint, but life can become tiring when you are only judged by your looks, whether you are beautiful or not. I just think one needs to also realize that those who are beautiful, and have much more to offer than their looks find constant attention based only the the interest fueled by their outward beauty unwanted and even demeaning. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:16:42 PM | yes, inner beauty is what wd make me stay but something must draw my attention first.
he may not be great looking but if he shows something I really like, I may consider.
most of us have 2 eyes, 2 ears, a nose, arms, legs n body... what make people pick each other may be more than external beauty.
usually, the beautifully wrapped gifts get open first, right. With that, i mean, I can understand that we could have worn the wrong clothes or not shaved or had a haircut today or the look of a long stressful day on some occasions but he has to be able to impress me a few times. I need to be able to like him at this best and worst. If our tastes match, it`s a winner. If not, it`s a bit more work, but may be worth it. | |
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 4/16/2008 6:54:58 PM | Different things for different people! Here is a quote from Science Daily. It restores my faith in my ability to find the right one. Attractiveness is far more complicated than physical beauty.
Fittest Males Don't Always Get The Girl
ScienceDaily (Apr. 16, 2008) — The fittest males don't always get the girl, USC biologists report. Study tackles a paradox in species from fruit flies to humans: If warriors win the spoils, why don't males evolve towards super-aggressiveness?
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There is more to mating than beating up the competition, according to a new study.
Female fruit flies sometimes choose males who win fights, sometimes choose males who do not fight, and sometimes choose males for no obvious reason, say biologists from the University of Southern California; Cal State University, Sacramento; and the University of California, Davis.
The findings help explain the large variation in aggressiveness in most species, including humans.
"If aggression makes you more likely to father children, all males should be selected to be very aggressive. Male fruit flies (like humans and other animals) show a lot of genetic variation in aggression, and we wanted to find out why," explained study leader Brad Foley, a post-doctoral researcher at USC.
One reason for the variation, according to the study and to previous research on lizards by other groups, may be that no fighting strategy works all the time, just as in the game rock-scissors-paper.
"We showed in fruit flies that even the most genetically aggressive flies can have an Achilles heel, and lose against males who are (for the most part) wimps," Foley wrote.
"There's no single way to win a fight, or win mates," he added. "Females didn't necessarily prefer aggressive males -- some males mated less when they lost fights, but some males mated more if they didn't fight. Moreover, different females preferred different males."
"Unexpected interactions between individuals can define winners and losers (so-called 'chemistry')," Foley concluded. "In order to understand why flies, and humans, and other animals, are so genetically different from each other, we need to stop imagining there's a 'best' kind of strategy."
So while Hamlet was described to have "the courtier's, soldier's, scholar's, eye, tongue, sword," it is not clear which part drove Ophelia mad.
Journal reference: Cabral LG, Foley BR, Nuzhdin SV (2008) Does Sex Trade with Violence among Genotypes in Drosophila melanogaster?. PLoS One 3(4): e1986.doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0001986
The other member of the research team were Larry Cabral of Cal State Sacramento (co-corresponding author with Foley), and Foley's supervisor Sergey Nuzhdin, professor of molecular and computational biology at USC. The paper was written at USC based on experiments conducted at the University of California, Davis, where Foley and Nuzhdin worked previously.
Funding for the study came from the National Science Foundation.
Adapted from materials provided by Public Library of Science, via EurekAlert!, a service of AAAS.
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| Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:07:06 PM | | I believe that I have to find something about the other person to be attractive. It can be their smile or their eyes. It can even be just that I see them making people laugh and having a good time. That gets me to notice them. I don't need a perfect package. However, the more you get to know someone it changes. You can have someone become more beautiful each day because of the way they are and how they carry themselves. Also, they can become less beautiful in my eyes if they have an ugly attitude or treat people badly. I have dated really good looking guys who have become very ugly because of the way they treated people they thought were "beneath" them. I have come to love someone more and think them more beautiful because of the sweet things they do for anyone...even strangers. Visual may be needed for the beginning but it will not hold it together. | |
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