| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 11:45:39 AM | | The roses are not just sent as a romantic gesture but also as a token of friendship. I did send a rose to one man and regretted it afterwards. Felt it was a waste to have done so. I have also sent roses and/or gifts to other women on the site as a gesture of friendship. Never in sending a rose or gift was the intention for them to "BE MINE"...the sending was ONLY intended as a gesture of friendship. They were sent to some because they were feeling low, down and out. A gift to make them happy or put a smile on their face. Or, some were sent as a token of congratulations. I think men do the same thing. They don't always send roses as a romantic gesture. So don't read something into it when you don't know the facts...Plus it really is not anyone business thus no one should have to feel the need to explain their actions in sending a rose or gift. So NO, I couldn't care less how many roses one has left, how many they have sent out, or how many favorites lists you are on. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 11:55:37 AM | Two things could apply here.....either they are a player...or met some one they wanted to share those roses with...or they recieved a very nice letter from some one and they sent the rose as a way of saying thank you for the nice letter, but I am not interested.......
But I do look to see if they have there roses...and I do err on the catious side...I don't want to be talking to someone who has already found someone...and I damn sure don't want to be talking to no PLAYA.........
And then there is the 'third thing' that could apply here.. ...the genuine guy merely seeking a good woman on the same wavelength. The genuine guy fully conscious of the vagaries of, potential timewasters therein and duplicities sadly inherent in online dating.
Why does everyone assume that 'digital roses' are somehow disadvantangeous to the men, and a 'red-flagger' for the ladies?
I thought our American cousins pioneered the concept of the strength/weakness analysis before embarking upon a mission??
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:14:58 PM | Well I have to say that even though is just a digital flower the fact that you can only get them back once a month gives them a precious value and Because of that you shouldnt give them like a regular object, I wouldnt give mine until I have a good relationship with somebody...or I can use to create that jealous sensation against someone... Yes it will affect on my perception of the other person, but that is no going to stop me to get to know them and I never going to ask them why or to whom they give them... they maybe give them to another friend of the same sex in a case of some females thats the way you should think about it and forget that little splinter in your mind  | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:27:59 PM | I haven't sent out any roses, because I immediately saw the "Be Mine!" next to them, and I did not want to give out any red flags, that I was too needy. Same with the presents.
If these are OK to send to people, I will do. But I really don't want to offend people. I get trouble enough from women thinking I'm into them, already. Comes from my intensity. Most women aren't used to that level of attention. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 6:39:27 PM | | ok I haven't read every post here but i read up to ur4me's, and thought i'd add my two cents... The stupid virtual roses, show a public interest. I notice, but it could be my "low self esteem". If I was talking to someone or had met with someone and noticed he has sent one out to someone else, while we've been getting to know each other, I'd discontinue communication with him. They're given slight importance because there's two, not a hundred. I also pay attention to how many favs lists ur on. Some peeps only keep the contacts they're interested in, and remove themselves from the rest. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 6:46:28 PM | I MIGHT.....depends on how attractive I think they are or if they said something funny in their profile...I may e-mail them and comment on it.
In general though.....no.....they are hot after someone else maybe and I'd just be filling their inbox... | |
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jbv81
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Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 59 | |
| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:07:40 PM | OK, I send roses to people I want to cheer up. This is female or male. Its free and it will make someone smile. I pay attention to it but it doesn't make me not contact them. Only because I know I sent a couple just to make someones day who was having it kinda ruff. I have also received some and I didn't think of it as being sexual. Ive met a lot of friends on here and I would send any of them one to make them smile. So sometimes it doesn't mean anything, and sometimes I guess it does. Not for me! | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:14:19 PM | I notice, but it could be my "low self esteem". If I was talking to someone or had met with someone and noticed he has sent one out to someone else, while we've been getting to know each other, I'd discontinue communication with him.
Mizdameanor, c'mon, with hundreds of people on here at PoF, wouldn't you think it's natural for a guy to be possibly concurrently corresponding to more than one woman? That would only be a natural thing, not something to set you off, in fact, I'd almost expect something like this to happen to me if I were to be corresponding with a quality woman.
So if you notice the person with whom you are corresponding that they used their roses, why not just mention that you noticed that, and continue corresponding in a positive manner? Dating is a competitive concept, unfortunately, sad but true. Accept that the good catches are going to be receiving attention from others, buck up, and try your best to get their attention?? | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:15:17 PM |
How about if you have exchanged emails and they were good, exchanged phone numbers and possibly spoken on the phone, and you noticed they sent someone a rose because they had two the day before, does that make you cautious? Take a step back and wonder about it maybe?
It's a dating website, so why would I care if they *gasp* actually spoke to someone else? I think it is sort of creepy to get that caught up over it. Makes me think of clingy people who think you two are a couple if you have one decent date. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:00:31 PM | I believe some would say jumping to conclusions is not healthy...
I send these flowers/gifts like terms of endearment...
I send them to lady friend as well as men friends...
They are meant to be fun...
Not like someone mailed their panties to an other...  | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:39:14 PM | | I just basically said i'd stop talking with him. If he didn't send me one and sent someone else one, I'd bow out, no biggie. Not setting me off, not clingy. Like you said there's hundreds of people on here, why wouldn't I just move on. Now I suppose i bent the origional question a bit, if he had zero roses before i met him, I'd still email, if i were interested. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:47:51 PM | | Absolutely....as soon as I notice I have them I send them right out. I quite often pick a random person from another country and just tell them I hope they have a lovely day... | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:12:01 AM |
If a man has 1 or 2 roses missing, then I figured he sent them to someone else and there must be a budding relationship happening. Or he's really into someone so I usually won't bother.
Likewise, if I have known of a man who has gone through 6 months or more and the holidays, valentine's day, and mother's day and is always online and NEVER gave out a rose...that is a red flag as well. Some people are selfish.
So remember, guys... if you send them out, it's bad. If you don't send them out, that's also bad.
I've sent all of two roses since the feature was implemented. One of them was simply a compliment paid to someone I admire highly, who doesn't live anywhere near me. The other was a "gift" for someone whose forum posts I enjoy reading, and it was Valentine's Day. Neither one was intended to "spark" anything. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 4:45:15 AM | | So on the 31st day of the Month they have 0 roses. Come the 1st day of the next month, they have two so they at a minute past midnight become more approchable?... you get two of these little things every month, so even if the person has two this month - they could be still hitting on last months 'roses' | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 1:56:12 PM | | Heck, you might not have anything to be concerned about. I've sent one to myself just to see what it was like, and two more to online female buds. I just wish they didn't say "Be Mine" on em. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:05:19 PM | This issue is a perfect example, IMO, of the hyper-analytical nature of dating in North America . Which can lead to soooo wrong conclusions based on ad hoc assumptions. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:09:10 PM | I frankly don't understand what the big deal is over this, and why it is an issue. It seems as though some people have too much time on their hands by worrying about this.
I for one, have never sent one. I did receive one once from someone who just really liked my profile. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 70 | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:34:00 PM | If I see a profile I like, it doesnt matter to me how many roses they have. I will write or im them. But in the back of my mind I am thinking, either the roses mean nothing to him or he's liking someone.
If we have exchanged e-mails, phone calls, even met and the roses disappear, yes, I step back. If I was really close and comfortaable with the person, I have no problem asking where did the rose go. I had one guy swear up and down he had no idea. Gotta love it !!!!!
I kinda like the rose idea, kinda gives you an insight of the person you are getting yourself involved with. I myself, have only sent out roses to men I was seriously interested in. I did get a teddy bear with the I love you from a man, I had not even met yet, but eventually did. Did he really love me? I seriously doubt it. Probably had no idea the words were on the card. I've only received roses from men I was dating. I have yet to get a random rose for having a down day or for no reason at all.
From reading all these posts, I have come to the conclusion, they are meaningless to most. Kinda makes me feel a little sad. No romance in alot of hearts and heads.
I guess it's just different strokes for different folks. Just my two cents. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:42:09 PM | I would have to say you are a loser dude,
Your woring about roses no wonder you single,
Get a freakin life hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:42:53 PM | | wow, you read way too much into the whole rose thing, and the site in general, try having fun and enjoy life, instead of spending your time assuming things that arent even there | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:43:55 PM | | I wouldn't get my hopes too high, but yes if I felt compelled to write, I still would. Rose or no rose. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 3:00:30 PM | Excuse the f*ck out of me????
I would have to say you are a loser dude,
Your woring about roses no wonder you single,
Get a freakin life hello!
Boy do you ever read something into something that ain't there!
If you re-read the OP, It is me who is asking OTHERS what their opinions are, NOT expressing my own in any way!
Say, if your life is SO GOOD that you can point a venomous finger at others, what in h3ll are YOU doing here????
As for the rest of you, thank you very much for your in-depth and very widely voiced opinions on the topic, that's what I was looking for, how the other fishes here felt about it. Quite interesting!
If I like the profile, I usually write to them anyway, roses or no roses.
But jeez! The accusations in this thread have been quite severe! | |
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