| Well...
Posted: 6/26/2007 3:01:09 PM | ....I've never sent a rose or a gift. Too corny for my taste.
I've received gifts...never a rose. At the time I kinda thought it was cute (it has only happened twice, same person), but in retrospect, it strikes me as a bit "e-relationship" like...which I try to avoid like the plague.
To answer the question...do not know. I know when I GET a message for the first time from someone and the rose is missing, I'll ask about it...maybe its none of my business, but frankly I don't' care. They can answer or not...but I know I rather not waste my time with people who like to play games - not as in the "player" sense (exclusivity is not important to me), but people who like to chat / IM for 3 months before actually meeting. I don't have time / patience for that, and somehow I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that someone who is "into" POF so much that they send roses would be the type who would forget that an "e-relationship" is not the END goal....
Hmmm...I honestly don't know...I don't think it has come up. I know I avoid people with tons of favorites like the plague though.... | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 4:21:32 PM | | im kinda new here but i have to be honest in saying that i never even noticed how many roses people have and i cant imagine how it would be any of my "business" who they were sending them to....is there some significants (spelling?) to the roses? i dont know...thats why im asking | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 8:14:23 PM | When I see one rose missing or he's got none left, I move on. I actually do it out of respect to HIM in case he's in the midst of persuing someone but has yet to "seal the deal" which is why he's still on the site.
No roses means no correspondence from me...period! | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 10:57:40 PM | Wow, it's sad to see all these people ridiculing the more conservative types for trying to grasp any insight into the mindset of our fellow PoFers. I don't really care about the gifts, those are meaningless. I think I've only sent them as part of a "thank you" type of letter.
However, I do take into account the roses. Yeah yeah, I hear the "don't sweat the little things" message, but if the little things are all we have to go on, then I'll use it. People can call me insecure, pathetic, or whatever names you want. I'm just looking at it through a realistic lens.
Think about it for a second. All you have is a little bit of text and a couple pictures to get to know someone. How easy is it to fake text? Very easy. I could say anything I want in my text. I could have someone else write it for me or just grab the text from someone else's profile. The pictures tell you a little more about the person, but not a lot. Those too can be faked in many ways... someone that never smiles might fake a smile for a picture. Or someone can get his picture taken while leaning on a nice car in front of a big house when he owns neither. Or someone that almost never goes out and doesn't have any friends manages to get himself into a picture with a big group of people. It's easy enough to fake those things.
Roses you can't fake. They are given out for a few possible reasons:
1) The person you are corresponding with is already interested in someone else. If you feel the need to compete for that person's attention when they're already interested in someone else, then I have a simple question for you. What social dysfunction makes you do it? You certainly aren't mentally healthy.
2) The person sends them out very freely. As in, the person is very desperate and is trying to 'buy' attention. I've gotten one in a first email from a woman on here who was definitely interested in me. Her profile and message screamed of desperation, but even if it didn't, the rose itself would have said a lot. Do you really want a desperate partner?
3) The person is a player. It's okay and even a good thing that they're talking to many people at the same time. However, the big red flag is if you've been talking with this person for a significant portion of time, then suddenly they've got 1 less rose and it wasn't to you. If you want to be played, then go ahead and keep talking to that person. If you're mentally healthy, you'll realize that you aren't #1 for that person and you'll move on.
4) The person sent it to a friend for the cheer up thing. This is the one good scenario. Is this the scenario that happens more than 50% of the time? I would highly doubt it. Would I occasionally miss out on a good one by skipping over people who sent out there roses? Probably. But why bother trying to weed through them, when there are plenty of other good candidates?
Reply to Bike_Man: Of course a good catch is going to get a lot of attention, but that doesn't mean s/he needs to give it all back. Someone giving away roses doesn't mean that s/he is getting attention, it means that s/he is giving attention. If I'm out with a girl and she's getting tons of attention from other guys, I don't really give a crap. Actually, I'm pretty flattered. Everyone wants her and she wants me... that's cool. However, if she's giving her number out to other guys while she's out with me, she shouldn't expect to see me again. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:00:02 PM | Actually, I do notice, big time.
If a man has 1 or 2 roses missing, then I figured he sent them to someone else and there must be a budding relationship happening. Or he's really into someone so I usually won't bother.
And on the flipside of it all he could have sent those 2 roses out and never even gotten a response from either of those 2 recipients!
Would it kill you to still try sending that person an e-mail if you were interested?
If you don't try you will never know.
You've defeated yourself before even trying!
That's like what many guys do in their mind when they see a beautiful woman.
They have this mentality that "oh she'll shoot me down" or "she's too beautiful for me" or "she must already have a man" and they're defeated before even making an effort.
It's people that have such a limited (narrow -minded) way of thinking that are alone or don't end up meeting others. (no offence)
I mean come on though, seriously.
Think about how many hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people are on here.
Just because a guy (or girl) may have given his (or her) TWO (not like we're talking about dozens)...TWO roses, you can't read too much into it.
Yes, they may have found people that have caught their interest but that doesn't mean anything came of it.
For you to think the way you do you are just being your own worst enemy and holding yourself back from meeting great people. No matter what it is you're seeking on here.
It just baffles my mind how some people throughout society think.
I can't believe people's inability to think logically!
Just like how others are so set in their ways, that if they are approached by someone who's seeking something (like friends) other than what they are looking for, they are quick to dismiss them.
If you really think about it; how many people aren't introduced to their mates through mutual friends?
Once again it's due to people's limited/narrow/closed-minded mentality that they constantly enduring this search for a partner and many times it seems so difficult a search.
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:13:28 PM | I agree with ur4me that the virtual gifts are "quite meaningless." I receive gifts on a regular basis enclosed inside e-mails saying nice things about my pictures and profile. I always respond with a thank you, and most of the time I never hear from the guy again. Therefore, at the risk of being repetitive ur4me is correct -- the gifts are "quite meaningless."  | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:21:38 PM | I just checked my boyfriend's roses. One of them is missing, and he didn't send it to me. That's it, I'm making him sleep on the couch. How dare he send another girl a fake flower! 
It's a virtual rose. I can't believe how serious some people are about the missing fake roses. This thread is making me laugh. I need to go to bed.  | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:20:20 AM | | I guess there are people here that don't take other people's feelings into consideration. Now THAT'S what I call pathetic! Text CAN tell a lot about a person --- and I'm seeing a lot of insensitivity on this particular post. Sure, the roses are fake, but they were sent to someone because the sender felt it was necessary to show his/her feelings toward someone else. If you can't take that into consideration, then how sad for you. If this shows me as a "pathetic" romantic, then so be it...moving on now... | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:34:51 AM | | I've only ever sent two out, that I can remember,...& no responses either time! So, I've decided to quit sending them until I find someone that appreciates them...besides, it's a VIRT-U-AL rose, who cares? But on a different note...it is pretty sad when you send something via email, & it isn't even acknowledged. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:08:05 AM | | ok now everytime i view a profile im checking out the rose situation and if i see that they only have one or none..i hesitate...is that stupid? i never even noticed the rose thing until i read this thread. lol | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:34:45 AM | | I only have one rose right now. I sent one to my girlfriend in Florida that joined after I told her about POF. So you never know why they are roseless. I say go for it. I also have a gazillion "points" and am just dying to send a gift to someone!LOL! | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:50:56 AM |
Reply to Bike_Man: Of course a good catch is going to get a lot of attention, but that doesn't mean s/he needs to give it all back. Someone giving away roses doesn't mean that s/he is getting attention, it means that s/he is giving attention. I picture the typical "hot chick" keeping her roses so that she keeps the cards and letters flooding in so she can cherrypick her suitor without actually going through any effort to contact any guys. Same thing for the studs. If you force me to overanalyze these roses, I'd be more likely actually to contact people with no roses--they are the more caring ones or actually make effort to respond back to people. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:07:43 AM | | No - because maybe they sent them to themself to get rid of the damn things. Maybe they have a good friend - not someone they want to date - that they sent them to. Maybe, like one of the posters I read, they use them as rewards for his competitions. Perhaps they have a sibling on the site that they shared them with - could be lots of reasons for not having those silly roses! Same as the number of favourites seems to make some people behave a bit weird. I thought the point of the profile was to see if they interested you and if so, you contact them. The roses and fave's list? Incidental and not nearly as important as what they have to say. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:26:10 AM | | I don't even pay attention to those. If they are down to O roses, perhaps they initially thought someone was a good fit for them, but later found out this wasn't the case. IMO, if you are interested in someone's profile, write to them. Dating is difficult enough for me, I don't need roses, flags, etc as additional obstacles... | |
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aTaha
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Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 91 | |
| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:30:02 AM | If someone has no roses or has one, it is true that it does not necessarily mean that they are actively pursuing someone. However, you should concede that the chances are higher that they are interested in someone enough to use one.
When you take into account that a large part of dating and relationships is timing... wouldn't you rather approach someone you're interested in when there's a higher chance they aren't after someone else?
I don't see the problem in trying to use all the information at hand. Yes you may draw an incorrect conclusion, but that can happen with or without virtual roses.
Taha | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:30:37 AM | I don't initiate emails for the most part anyway, so it's of no consequence to me.
However, I sent mine for the heck of it to a couple of guys I was jokingly flirting with... I mean who takes these seriously? BE MINE?? ha ha It's a compliment to get one, sure. But that's about it when you haven't met the person yet. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 10:39:42 AM | It's the same with e-mails themselves. If a woman e-mails me, that means she has probably e-mailed some other man (the e-slut!) or men (the e-whore!!) already. The e-dew is off that e-rose, big time! So I don't e-mail back, because I don't want her e-reputation to e-rub off on e-me.
On the other e-hand, if she doesn't e-mail me, then that means she is either 1) already the personal property of some other dude, or 2) a dude. So I don't e-mail her, because, I mean, what's the use?
And then there are these women who are on favorites lists! Somebody clicked on a link on her profile! She might as well be married or dead, right?
And then there are the things I don't know about her. Like, for instance, how do I know she is loyal to POF? She may very well have another profile on another social web site! If I send her an e-mail, and she doesn't respond in, like, 15 minutes, isn't that proof positive that she's typing up a slutstorm on True or FriendFinder? Like an alley cat with a modem! Makes my skin crawl.
Why can't I find some warm, understanding, lovely girl who will just accept me for me? I don't get it.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 11:10:40 AM | If we have exchanged e-mails, phone calls, even met and the roses disappear, yes, I step back. If I was really close and comfortable with the person, I have no problem asking where did the rose go. I had one guy swear up and down he had no idea. Gotta love it !!!!!
I stand corrected on my post from yesterday. This is an excellent point. Otherwise, this horse has been beaten to death.
I do have to say that a very nice poster on this thread sent me a rose yesterday. It was a lovely thought and I now have what I hope is a new buddy. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:09:43 PM | A rose is a rose even if it's virtual rose... I guess I'm in the minority here, but I also notice the roses and it makes me hesitant about the person. Maybe it's because a red rose signafies love and with the "Be Mine" attached gives it just a bit more meaning. It's really just a to each his own way of thinking, I suppose. After reading this thread, I will rethink my feelings about it though. Thanks!  | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:17:45 PM | | Well heck - talk about not making sure the message reads the way you want to it when it shows up on your profile. What I meant was that "no, I wouldn't let O roses stop me" from contacting someone if I thought they were interesting. Sheesh. Should have coffee before posting some mornings! | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:27:46 PM | Yes I still would email them, as the sun doesn't rise and set on me AND they are not exclusive to you yet. You have to ask why they are sending the roses and to whom..I have sent my roses to women that got dumped by someone on this sight! I am a woman! I have also sent a rose to someone that I knew right off that I wouldn't be compatable with, and so as to not hurt their feelings gave them a rose and the "no thank you but thank you for asking." It was the right thing to do. Don't let what people in your past have done to you..measure your future, or you will miss out on great things because you are too cautious or fearful of being hurt. You play the love game and thats always a possibility! Go into with that idea in mind. But to judge someone without getting to know them first over a stupid flower...hmmm. I am not saying ignore things like when he calls you someone elses name...THEN worry. But A flower????? Cheese and rice!
Tamara | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:59:53 PM | | Definitely. I send roses to people for a variety of reasons. I had a friend who I met here who was going through a rough time with her boyfriend and I felt bad for her so I sent a rose. On another occasion I had a friend reveal to me that she is very ill so I sent her a rose. Sending roses doesn't necessarily mean that there is any kind of romantic involvement. Sometimes it's just nice to brighten someone's day. | |
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| 0 roses... Would you email them?
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:06:46 PM | | Some of the people on here feel the roses don't mean anything--I know they're not real, but the thought is nice in my opinion. I dated someone for a while and he NEVER sent me a rose although he called me his girlfriend. However, I noticed that his 2 roses were gone--shortly before he didn't call for about 10 days. After the 10 days he called and wanted to pick up where he had left off, but...........maybe the roses don't mean much, being virtual, but in my opinion, if they're suddenly missing, I might wonder why. | |
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