| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:36:57 AM | In a serious, meaningful relationship, intimacy is about far more than how the penis works; still it's really in a man's best interest to be extremely honest in the initial beginning of dating if he has any kind of problem in this area. It's only respectful and it will weed out those who simply can't accept this kind of dysfunction. Personally, were I a man with this problem, I wouldn't even want to date someone who was only interested in how I performed, who demanded that there be no health issues. I don't think this is realistic after a man is in his forties.
I think most men probably begin to have issues with ED after forty five. I've heard the blue pills can help but sometimes they don't work well at all. If a man is giving and interested in pleasing his partner through a variety of other methods, this probably won't be an issue with most women. I think it's just so important to be playful with one another, have a good sense of humor, drop the ego, and be willing to experiment with a variety of options and alternatives that will pleasure your partner. Now if you're a stick in the mud that's not open to being adventurous and you've also got ED, then you've really got a problem.
And once men have accepted this little physical issue that goes along with their aging, perhaps they'll accept women's little issues as well that occur when they age. Real caring and compassion is about acceptance of one's partner and loving them despite their challenges. Realistically speaking, as we age, we're all going to have issues, in one department or another. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:09:09 AM | Hi Southernlass,
Your attitude is most excellent and your points about the ED issue are some of the best on this thread. Way to go!
I'm keeping this thread alive because it has abiding value. I have ED and my current partner gives me special treatment and we both have great sex.
I share the opinion to let people know early in the relationship. If they cannot handle reality, they would not be good companions. Hate to say that, but it is the obvious truth.
Ken | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 8/18/2008 3:10:43 PM | | Here's another alternative that has worked for me: an Impo-Aid vacuum pump. You do need to have talked this through with your partner in advance, but having done so it can be a fun part of the experience. The pump induces the blood flow into the penis, then you twist the end of the hollow cylinder and off pops a silicone restrictor ring at the base of the erection. The ring prevents the blood from flowing out of the erection until you are ready for it to. There is an electric version of this (which I have not tried) and a manual version. The manual version sells for about $130; it used to be sold in drug stores, but I think it is now just via the internet. The value of this for me is that the viagra pill did not work for me. And you can repeat the process as often as you wish! If my potential partner is not willing to hear about such things as preliminary to the love-making, then we are not ready for sex anyway....now, guys -- don't wait until the 'moment of truth' to trundle out your pump (or for that matter to finally admit there is some kind of problem anyway)...all this is for the mutual enjoyment of both parties. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:59:56 PM | | My friend uses the pump, he told me about it on the first date, in our get to know each other conversation after dinner. Asked me if I would have a problem with it. I asked him to explain it to me and it didn't seem to be a major problem. The problem would have been if he couldn't have done anything after getting me stirred up . Honesty is the best policy. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:25:59 PM | | If a man has an erectile dysfunction, he should tell me immediately. I do NOT want to waste time on this, with any man. I am way too frustrated. I have been through all this with some, and its usually caused by medications or men jerking off excessive. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:42:42 PM | | The pump does work, probably better than most methods. The pump works best if the guy takes some Yohimbe, before pumping. The bad thing about the pump, is the penis is not as warm and could pivot, and there is not much ejaculation inside us ladies. I like to feel ejaculation, and a hot penis. The good thing, it is harder, and it works, and for you guys, your penis is bigger . Some of us ladies don't care if it's bigger, I don't. I do NOT like big ones. I did my time in this lifetime with male erectal dysfunction, and I will NOT waste time on this anymore, because now I want a man to arouse me with mostly digtal C and some G play and then insert and ejaculate, his erected penis and NOT leave after sex and stay around to do something real. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 8/19/2008 1:18:39 PM |
If a man has an erectile dysfunction, he should tell me immediately. I do NOT want to waste time on this, with any man. I am way too frustrated. I have been through all this with some, and its usually caused by medications or men jerking off excessive.
I was open about it with my partner when it happened to me... there are a lot of variations with ED and it does worry me. I had a very hard time climaxing sometimes but seemed to be getting better. It took effort to get hard and stay hard which scared the shit out of me.
The first time we made love for 5 hours and it took me 3 hours of non stop intercourse for me to cum. She looked at me like I was crazy and said you do not have ED and I dont know how you can say you do..
She said she was very sore for days... another time it took 5 hours and she said never again. I enjoyed the sex so stopped worrying about orgasm and would ensure she was more than pleased then stop.
I started dieting riding my bike going for walks quit smoking cut out almost all fried foods and switched to splenda and diet drinks. I no longer have the problem of not being able to climax and in most cases can choose when to cum.... This works well when we didn't have much time and in fact my partner seemed to get a thrill out of making me cum quickly. As I became healthier I could cum in 30 minutes without a problem and had to try not to cum if I wanted to go several hours and we had the time. This was a great improvement... I still worry.... I was always a normal guy and came in the statistical amount of time no guy wants to admit is normal.
I now have no problem getting hard with sometimes like akid it doesnt take anything but mental stimulation but still get a panicky feeling if I've been making love 2 hours or more and having to really concentrate to cum. I always do now but fear that one day I wont be able to perform at all. Never thought ED would be a probem for ME!
On a lighter note... I'm in much better physical condition now and suspect I may just have abs of steel under my fat LOL I am fighting post smoker weight gain
Sex is great cardio 
I had the pills.... I wouldn't use them.... they gave me a backache for about three days that made me feel I'd been beaten with a baseball bat.... i could hardly move with out pain the next day if I took them. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:05:42 AM | | He , of course, was an idiot for disrespecting you. ED is a difficult thing. There are many creative ways to lick the problem, but it the final analysisit is as difficult for the male as the female. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/2/2008 8:53:07 PM | | smoking can kill all erection power. A proper diet,exercise,kegals and jelques will work wonders for most men dealing with ed.Jelques and kegals are natural ways to rush and trap blood in the peeny wholly | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:44:13 PM | i think both men and women should be able to talk about all sexual issues, including ED. there are many threads on ED on pof and i for one, think men should also investigate testosterone replacement before they start risking side effects with viagra. in addition, it also works for some women who report declining sexual interest and/or feelings.
ED is not only from poor health (such as heart/circulatory problems and diabetes). it is affiliated with porn addiction, ongoing masturbation when not with a real woman for a long while (same can apply to women and their toys), meds and performance anxiety that is coupled with declining arousal with age. assuming it can be dealt with and w/o everyone going into denial and shame based behaviour, for many it can result in way "better" love making. it just takes more time and that's not a bad thing for women.
all that being said, i knew nothing about ED after i got divorced. so, i do think it's up to the men to educate women and for women to know that it's an increasing phenomena as you get older and start meeting other men than your ex. also, not having ED does not necessarily make you a good lover. if someone knew what he was doing back then in his more studly days, my guess is that he will be more apt to improvise now!
again, if you aren't able to discuss these things, how is it you are able to strip down naked with someone? to me, it just does not compute. i think both men and women need to give each other a break! and if you absolutely do not want to deal with any sort of ED, then say that in your profile. but not sure it will totally help, because it appears that for some it is a new phenomena and they are still in the denial phase.
oh well, just one more thing to worry about in the new dating world.......not being able to talk to the man who is lying in between your legs. what a bummer! | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:20:08 PM | | Hey Ozziefan - I agree with your comment. Men if you are going to be intimate then be honest. If your ED does not call all bets off then in fact your lack of honesty will. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:04:26 PM | the solution is simple
the best method is called iron penis chi kung. puire magic!
it is from ancient china and was originally developed by ancient Chinese Taoist masters and taught to the emperor so how could satisfy his numerous wives without ever ejaculating unless he wants to make babies. Thereby not only increasing his life span, but improving his overall sexual capacity or stamina.
erectile dysfunction is the first thing it takes care of. only 2 months and its over. i am dead serious. there are other methods but this is the very best. his erections will remain even till he is 70. so if you love him speak to him about it. if he need info. have contact me
take care .
love is greater than sex.
do something that will make him love u for life | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:48:46 PM | you know as i read these posts it makes me glad i can talk openly about my ED, it took along time for me to be able to be open and honest about it. the final straw was after i was seeing someone for awhile and had tried to talk to her about it thruogh different means ie: mentioning my diabetes and its complications when it finally happened after a rousing oral session by me (and i know it was good she left gouges in my back and headboard) when the time came for her to go downtown she tried and i was less than "stone" yet still erect she stopped went to the bathroom than snuck out of the house and i didnt talk to her again for a long time, after being informed by a mutual friend that she left due to my lack of firmness it made me think alot about it and made me realze i dont have time for women that want to be that judgemental about it. And surprisingly enough there are plenty of women out there that are like that, And yes my smoking dosent help i tried the pills they gave me a heart attack (literally) so i learned how to use the one thing i have to my advantageand havent had too many comlpaints since | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:00:37 AM | i read some of the reactions to this. how can you be intimate with a man several times and not know he can't get it up? surely you must have noticed the thing wasn't working.
i am very up front about the fact that i have ED. hell i am 60 years old not 30.
they make pills for this and i have them just haven't found someone i wanted to use them with but i have my fingers crossed.
women my age are just as horny as you young ladies.
guys be honest, its nothing to be ashamed of. some ladies take the fact that you have that problem as a challenge to see if they can correct the problem.    | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:42:25 AM | ok this is getting long.
guys there is really no need for ED even at age 60+. i have already said which method is the best. also try
www.thundersplace.com
the methods here are not the best. but ED will be a thing of the past within 2 months. your erections will so random that if a woman merely says the word sex, you'll get an erections. it hurts me to see these kinda things. guys just get on it.
cheers
and good luck. | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:45:06 AM | The only difference in the age groups is this,,,,,, What the young ones do all night,, it takes me all night long to do,,Bear this in mind the tounge will last long after your fantacies of a woody will,,,, | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:56:50 PM | Mz,
In that situation i understand you being upset, his ego was hurt so he lashed out, (albeit stupidly) call it male ignorance. Sorry you had to deal with that, and yes guys should be honest about it, no matter what the age (it saves alot of uncomfortable moments) | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 12/12/2008 9:29:48 AM | | Yes i have the same problem cause of diabetes,high blood pressure,overweight, but i do bring it up in the first or second conversation, just want to be honest so they know what they r getting into. But the little blue pill does wonders for me and being able to do the dirty deed for upwards of an hour or more is sure worth it. And yes i even tried a penispump and that things does wonders to. And woman love to watch me use the pump and they cant believe there eyes of what a suction tube can do, talking about a major hard one...LOL | |
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| Being upfront about erectile dysfunction
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:31:33 PM |
This guy has a sensitive problem which he did discuss with her and all she can think about is herself and how he was sooooooooo inconsiderate of HER because he waited until the second time in their entire lives ever spent together intimately to discuss it with her........ Ooooohhhh the pain he inflicted on her ..............
How DARE he wait THAT LONG and.....................
HOW DARE HE BE SO INCONSIDERATE TO HER !!!!!
Can anyone spell " selfish, whiney, self absorbed b*tch " ???
This person has some serious issues with women. | |
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