WS6TA
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Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 226 | |
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Posted: 10/18/2004 5:00:57 PM | darlingnada:
Welcome to the site!
Yes, I think the men can be just as shallow too and more commonly are, but there is those of us that are not that way and we are in the group most often dismissed and overlooked.
I would answer an e-mail if I ever do get one. But I think it would be foolish to carry out a saga that had no potential. However as far as replying to somone be they 10 miles away or 10,000 miles away would be the courtious thing to do. It matters not if your interested, just a polite message informing them that you did receive their message would suficiently be proper. If they didn't meet your criteria be straight forward with them about it. Plus if you see you don't meet their criteria then don't bother e-mailing them.
So far I haven't made any local friends or a date... But I guess you need an e-mail for one of those two to happen; don't you? | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/19/2004 10:58:48 PM | Hey you'r right but you know there are alot of guy's out there who are ***hole's and when you first meet them they come on all sweet and then further down the road they start to change and don't, even wan't to be with you and start telling everyone else how yall not togeather. Ive been through alot of hell with someone i really loved and i have been hurt, really bad by him emotional way. I thought he really loved me but how could he love me when he wasn't SURE who he wanted be with and he had to choose between me or the other girl, and i guess he never could see it just how much i loved him. he lived in my city/state and we been friend's for like 3Year's and we met online.
SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND DON'T GIVE UP I KNOW HOW YOU'R FEELING AND, IT WILL GET BETTER SOON JUST HAVE TRY MAKE IT THROUGH.
if you ever need someone to talk to and listen to you feel free email me o0_elite_ghostess_0o@hotmail.com | |
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Posted: 10/20/2004 9:42:55 AM | WS6TA - Thank you for the welcome! I agree that it would be foolish, and a great waste of time as well, to "carry out a saga that had no potential." I also agree that all letters of interest should be replied to. When my first reply to a man is a "no thank you," I thank him for his interest, tell him as kindly as possible exactly why I don't feel we would be compatible (he's too far away, he's looking for casual sex and I'm not, he's into lifestyle habits that I'm not... whatever the case may be), and I wish him the best in finding what he seeks. I totally agree that it's best to be straightforward, and you can do that without getting personal. It's not a slam to that person, it's merely *my* personal preference. No big deal if someone is only looking for casual sex, that's just not *my* style.
I'd like to comment on what you said about not emailing someone "if you don't meet their criteria." One would think this goes without being said, but I'm so glad you said it. What is up with that? Why am I getting letters from men who brag about their membership in group gangbang clubs, guys bragging about their sexual prowess, and guys who want to send me photos of their swollen anatomy? I clearly stated in my profile that I'm not looking for one night stands! Why do some men totally ignore what is said in a profile and send inquiries to women who obviously want something different than what they are looking for? Okay.... If I had a hot romance going with someone and he sent me a luscious, swollen anatomy shot (Thinking of you... photo attached) it would totally turn me on, but unsolicited, it's just tacky. | |
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WS6TA
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Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 229 | |
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Posted: 10/20/2004 2:44:13 PM | darlingnada;
I wished I could answer that second part? Men are jerks at least the majority of them?
I've never once did anything like that! But then again it seems like us decent ones get passed over just as quickly. When I send an e-mail the vast majority of the time they never respond. No where in my e-mail did I attach a PIC of a body part. No where have I been anything less than cordial. I even take the time to read their profiles to see what their likes and dislikes are? But still it never does any good? What's up with that?
I know this sounds mean but I don't mean for it to offend any of you nice ladies. I truly do understand why many chose to use such a way to seek a date and or a romance. However after hundreds upon hundreds of e-mails sent and recieving no reply. I began to believe that the real reason many woman use such sites is to find MR. Perfect. You know I've never in my entire life ever know anyone to be perfect. But somehow a great many women on those sites are under the dellussion through some extroidnary osmosis of the brain that the can actually find such an individual on one of those sites. When in fact they couldn't find such a person in the real world. Who do they think these people are on those sites? The are a real somebody in a real world and it never once enters into their mind that? Those same people are being considered as unperfect in the real world they live in... Why else would they be on such a site?
For me it comes down to this:
The mass majority of the people on those sites are people who can't find a date in the real world. Either they are too pick, too snobish, too spoiled, or a handful of other reasons why they can't meet someone in the real world. It's just us decent people like ourselves that get suckered into believing that somehow these wonderful dating websites are the cure all for the lack of success we have experienced in our own real world. I feel we have only been caught up in a web full of people who expect too much and majically have convinced us that this is not so. Far to many people by overwhellming majority agree those sites are rarely successful. We never pause long enough to consider the true reason why that is? So, in a nut shell! Those to brainwashed to admit it and including ourselves must realise the only true reason we are here is that we too are expecting to much. Thus we are really guilty of not being more practical and true to ourselves and willing to try harder in the real world. Because in the real world there are faults and customs that must be delt with. Fleeing to a dating site is not the cure but the realization of the curse that inflects us all. We must try harder in the real world and leave those that expect to much behind to whither away in their hopeless dream. Decent people are out there in the real world they are not afraid to show their face or mingle in a social setting with others. So I say go forth into the world again and be enlightened to the fact of all we have learned being here. We must be far more practical in our desires, and give the real world a chance. | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/20/2004 11:59:37 PM | | download some david deangello.on kazaa or whatever....great stuff ...advice on what attracts women ...dont feel bad....im a recovery wuss ..as he calls it ...goodluck! | |
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Posted: 10/21/2004 9:24:24 AM | WS6TA - I don't agree that most men are jerks. There are lots of bad ones, and there are lots of good ones, too, as with anything. Okay... I don't pretend to understand why your efforts have met with no success. I've read your profile and it seems fine. How 'bout sending an example of what your introductory letters are like? If you're willing, I'd like to take a look and maybe we can talk about it. Post here, or we can take this discussion to a private venue if you like. Please feel free to email me.
Regarding your thoughts on giving the "real world" a chance. Interesting, but doesn't work for me. I've had some really good success online, so it's worked well. In the "real world," I just don't have time for "shopping." I'm very busy. I have an active social life with friends but I live in a small town and my social circle is relatively tight. The dating pool here is pretty shallow. I don't do bars, or clubs, and I don't date people I deal with professionally. I'm not into fantasy enough to think that one day I will, by happenstance, meet Mr. Wonderful in a crowded theatre, our eyes will lock, we'll melt straight down to our toes, embrace one another, and skip off into the moonrise to live happily ever after and have really great sex. I'm online a lot because I telecommute, so that makes the Internet a good option for me. At the moment, I've been seeing a very pleasant fellow I met online a few months ago. Nothing serious, but we enjoy one another's company, and will likely remain friends. I'm still looking.
I can't speak for women as a whole, but the ones I know who use the Net to meet men are not looking for Mr. Perfect. Mr. Right, perhaps, but not Mr. Perfect. You're right... anyone who is looking for someone who is perfect really isn't being realistic. There's no perfect person, but maybe there is someone who's right for you. | |
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Posted: 10/21/2004 9:42:51 AM | | people actually STILL use KAZAA? LMAOROTF | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/21/2004 9:49:31 AM | You should try living in cincinnati, I get like 5 women, all overweight, all with kids, all smokers! Im not even going to try here, I'm killin my profile. I bet theres like 500 guys.
this is just sad | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/21/2004 7:40:31 PM | WS6TA
Ya I know how guys are about having a photo taken. I helped my best friend put up an ad. It took me forever to get a good photo of him, because I couldn't get him to smile. Finally I made him pose with my cat on his shoulder, and while he was laughing I took the photo.
In truth, I gave up a long time ago on actually meeting someone on-line. It's odd, I used to meet allot of great guys on the sites, back when excite.com was around. But the kind of men (in my area) who are on the sites now...well it's a MUCH different crowd. I just stick around because it is fun talking to some of the guys in other areas. Off-line, the area I live in...very rural...the men aren't really what you would call conversationalists. There ability to communicate is pretty much limited to conversations about cows, hay, trucks, fishing, hunting, and the weather. If I didn't have the net I think my brain cells would be shrinking. And the only time I have the oportunity to meet anyone is when I go into the city on the weekends. So I may be single for a looooong time. | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/21/2004 7:48:56 PM | rustyspet
But you are suppose to be attracted to the inside  . Ok that was mean. ....No, it wasn't. If I didn't watch what I eat I would be fat. I was fat. Making fun of ugly people would be mean. Fat people can slim down same as I did. Anyway...
I understand what you are talking about when it comes to the 'marriage minded'  I might get married again some day. I might not. I'm sure not looking for a husband. But every man I meet wants to rush into a serious, commited, monagamous relationship. And I'm thinking, "um, maybe we should actually be to a point of having sex before we get into monogamy issues...and why are your dirty socks in my hamper!" | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/21/2004 9:07:48 PM | | I feel your frustration. I've been doing the on-line dating thing for something like 4 years now. So far, I'm still doing the on-line dating thing, but now it's just entertainment, fill time between reading and working. I've given up hope. I wish you all the luck in the work though. I'll just work to save a lot of money so my kids will have a really good inheritance when I finally kick the bucket. | |
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CaR
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Joined: 8/17/2004
Msg: 242 | |
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WS6TA
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Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 243 | |
| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/27/2004 12:53:57 PM | dark moon:
I know what it is like to live in a rural area. Luck for me I could get away from it... Most people in rural areas marry right out of hish school or shortly afterwards. So all that is left on the market is either far too young or losers...
As for conversationalist: I'd have to say yea most are't to well endowed in that department but there are some that will surprise you. Take me for example I can carry out a conversation with the most down home boys there are and enjoy the talk. On the flip side I can discuss the latest news or scentific discoveries in the high society circles. Not to be braging but I have an I.Q. that borders just below the genius level. Nevertheless, if you want an honest answer about which group of people are more upstanding then I'd have to say the rural people out class the High society group by far. I wouldn't waste my time on the high society group they are some of the worst losers that I know of...
In regards to the picture: Yea, I wish I could get a good photo of me? I look so much better than the one's I have posted. I'm not saying I'm a "ten" but I look much better than my photo reveals. Plus there is a magnetic appeal that envelopes me like an vail that seems to get women's attention, that does not show up on film. See me in person and you'll know what I mean? I've dated some really fine looking women in my distant past. That always confused me a great deal never really considered myself that good looking. Especially to attract some of the women I've dated. Plus I've had women leave me simple for the fact that they thought themselves were unable to hold on to me because they felt they wasn't good lucking enough... I swear you women can be so confussing? | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/27/2004 7:04:15 PM | 
Well.....I've read alot of messages posted on this thread and I have formulated my opinion: I've never really been good at history, but it seems to me that since the beginning of human existence there has been nothing but war, crime, and bad dating experiences. Maybe we should be happy we don't live in the days where women are traded for livestock. Or maybe that would solve the whole frustration of finding a date. Either way you look at it...dating is a complicated game and shouldn't be taken too seriously or else one may go completely mad. All the real people on the internet should just get together and leave the all those synthetic people to their own delirium. That's my opinion...like it or not! | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 1/8/2006 1:58:07 PM | It probably is depressing for guys...but definately is for girls too. I'll admit that yes, I am picky, but it's my own preferences...i don't really want to date what society believes is a "hot guy". I have my own preferences..
And talking about depressing, I'm rejected hundreds of times a day...i'm a telemarketer..hahaha | |
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| Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 1/8/2006 2:16:42 PM | | I have heard that if you go and take dance lessons like salsa dancing for example, there are a lot of single women there and very few men. So the men get asked to dance and relationships bloom. So I am going to try that out myself very soon at a salsa dance class and see what happens. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 247 | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 1/8/2006 6:41:15 PM | It can be hard. And hes right the ratio is way off. But just keep tryin you will find true love.
Everyone does. Its what you do with it and how you keep your true love interested that makes the diff. | |
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