| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 8/31/2004 11:02:25 AM | So I wrote back a bunch of the women that had deleted my emails asking them why and one of them responded. She asked what made me think she'd deleted it. I guess a lot of folks simply don't realize that there's a message history that shows the other person this information.
Frankly I think the site should downgrade people who don't reply to any of the emails that get sent to them. I know it ranks searchs findings based on how often you come online right now, but if I knew a girl only responded to say 5% of the emails she gets then I'd know better than to bother writing her. Better still, maybe the reply-rate-to-first-emails should be listed in a persons profile.
There should be some kind of protection against people that are just on here because they like the attention and not because they actually want to meet anyone.
Note to DayDreaming: I liked your posts. I had a couple of my emails be "unread deleted" too. | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 8/31/2004 11:10:11 AM | | I think that there might be a lot of people on here, who prefer to look for their own partners. So maybe that's what you are running into. I don't know...personally, I've not written any introduction emails because I've already written to the guys in my area that I was interesting in, and of them I got one turn down, and one positive response but that was it. So I just sit here and come on the forums and have people write to me, even though none of them are even in my area. | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 8/31/2004 11:15:08 AM | | I've talked about this sort of thing before, regarding "unread deleted" or "read deleted" with no reply. I don't care how many emails these women are getting, it only takes a few SECONDS out of their lives to mail a short "no thank you". If they're worried about some jerk pestering them afterward, all they have to do is put him into their "blocked" list. So, I don't buy any exuses. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... IT'S D@MN RUDE!!!!! | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 8/31/2004 12:19:52 PM | | Yes, it's quite possible that I'm simply encountering women that would rather search for their own partner than be contacted themself. But it would simply be all the more reason to have a feature showing how often a person replies to first emails. Then there would be a clear indicator that it isn't someone you should try emailing. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 30 | |
| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 8/31/2004 2:36:26 PM | well i had to change my profile because after i met my bf i was stil getting HEY SEXY....AND LETS MEET AND SOEM STUPID POEMS...AND WOWOWOWOWO NICE PIX AND MARIED MAN LOOKING FOR A NICE GIRL FOR FUN ECT...
ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH :devil:
soem ppl dont even read a profile...they dont notice in my pro its says ANYONE INTERESTED WILL NOT BE RESPONDED TO. I have im taken and im here to moderate...and ot see my pals and to respect that. BUT NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is stil get losers posting heeeyy sexy write me back...blind mice i tell yah | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 8/31/2004 4:01:00 PM | All you need is that one rare Gem in a miriad of synthetic fakes.
Keep up the faith, If you think you have problems.... imagine all the idiots that contact some of the women on here. You need to be genuine, sincere and respectful with no other ulterior motive.
Good Luck it will happen when you least expect it but don't give up on real life relationships either.
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 8/31/2004 11:48:12 PM | Perhaps I should have started a new thread w/ this one, but:
How many GIRLS send "first-contact" to GUYS? I've had a gazillion no-responses, a couple rejections, one interest that faded away, and ONCE AND ONLY ONCE did I get a msg from a girl; actually I got two identical ones, and they looked like something she'd blasted out to many guys (not personalized) so I deleted them.
So ladies, do any of you write to guys, or just wait for us to send you something so you can grin and ignore us? | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/1/2004 3:07:32 PM | | When I first got here I wrote to a bunch of guys that lived in my area, and I only got like two responses and one was negative..so I kind of lost my confidence. LOL! And now I pretty much just stick to the forums and talk to people on here. | |
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WS6TA
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Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 34 | |
| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/14/2004 3:07:02 PM | | Well, if it makes you feel any better? I'm on a half a dozen sites and have been for years and I never get an E-mail. Heck they don't even respond to my E-mails... Go figure? | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/14/2004 8:07:55 PM | A rousing "right on" to GoodKnightKisses post. I think he hit the nail on the head.
It's like networking for a job, selling a product, or anything else. For every 100 requests or solicitations you make, you'll get less than 10 responses. Of those, you may make one "sale." The responses everyone is talking about here are quite typical I'd say. But to the guys who are patient, good things will happen (the ladies too).
And think about the opposite scenario anyway. You send out 25 e-mails to ladies who impress you with their profiles. What if most or all responded? Yikes! What would you do then? Think of it this way... your goal is not to get lots of responses, it's to get the RIGHT response(s)! | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/14/2004 9:32:04 PM | | I've got a good one were the ratio of women to men is opposite of all the other sites. If you think you could like horses try 'equestriansingles'. Go to horse shows and the like too. There are always way more women than men (not true of Rodeos though). Course if horses stike the fear of god in you then this won't work very well:) | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/14/2004 11:51:29 PM | ThatsHimOfficer
maybe you should get a couple pics of more than a close up of your face and the ones that are close ups look like the lens is concaving the image maybe try some a little farther away and in the about you block of your profile describe more about yourself and what you like to do, how you face things in life, maybe some of the things you can't stand or must have, and gets some pics in a nice pair of shorts give the girls something to look at ;) oh maybe you should try to keep the first contact short and sweet right to the point with a couple sentences about you I hope this helps :)
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/15/2004 10:05:23 AM | I really enjoyed reading through this thread. I'm new, so just getting into the routine around here. I guess I, personally, am not here to find a "date" or anything real-life or lasting ... I'm here more to play "fantasy" -- which I was sure to state on my profile so as not to mislead anyone.
Dating online must be very difficult... there definitely seems to be more more men than women, at least where I've been.... and it's not always easy to get the correct feeling for someone via a one/two sentence "hello" e-mail.
My profile being as it is, I've received a LOT of messages .... and, yes, I haven't been able to reply to all of them, and I've had to delete a bunch. I guess that's to be expected with a "fantasy" thing such as I've got going on.
I didn't imagine that deleting would be considered rude, but I can see why it might be seen that way by some, and I certainly apologise for not being able to send replies to everyone. I'm glad I read this thread today... something to think about.
ThatsHimOfficer .... your profiles sounds great ... sometimes it just takes a whole lot of time, on-line or off-line, for the right one(s) to happen by. Don't give up! :) | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/15/2004 7:38:10 PM | Specially when people ask you if you want to "cyber". I find that the stupidest thing.
It reminds me of that old Stallone movie, where he is a cop in the distant future.
Sandra Bullocks carchter asks him if he want to have sex. He says yes and do it in a virtual kind of way. Are we heading that way?
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silken
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Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 42 | |
| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 9/17/2004 8:38:52 AM | Hi, I read your profile... You asked for some honest feedback so here goes...
I think maybe some girls may be passing you by because you seem to just be looking for anything... I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, but realize that girls who are on here looking for a man who is interested in dating and maybe forming a relationship might pass you by thinking you are not serious about anything but hanging out/having fun. There are a lot of men who just want to "hang out" and sometimes a girl gets tired of that and wants a man who is looking for something more and not afraid to say so.
Myself, I also talk to guys on a local chatline and when I ask them why they are there and what they are looking for I often get this kind of response.... "I don't know"/"anything that comes along"/"just to have fun"/"whatever happens", etc. Now there's nothing wrong with this if that is all a woman is looking for too but myself I am much more interested in a man if he tells me (sincerely) that he is interested in getting to know a woman because he enjoys having a girlfriend in his life. That is what I tell the men I talk to on there... I don't think there is anything whatsoever wrong with admitting that I like/enjoy having a boyfriend, it's completely a natural thing. ;) It has also helped me to weed out men who are just looking for a hit-and-run, etc. (although not always because lots of times they try to convince you they are open to that just to see if they can get something...)
I would also consider changing your headline on your profile to something that is more indicative of what you're looking for. A sense of humour is good but I think you want to get across that you are sincerely interested in meeting a girl and not just joking/having a fun time on the site.
silken
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WS6TA
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Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/1/2004 2:28:31 PM | Diolacles:
Your right on dude! Concerning your post about E-mails being "unread deleted" or "read deleted" with no replys...
Yes, it is very RUDE but not only that it's bad behavior... If someone went out of their way to write a message then the responsible thing to do is at least reply. It doesn't matter if the girl is not interested in you. She should at least exhibit social courtesy. Otherwise they have no business being on a dating site if they don't intend to answer messages. Beside to ignore and delete a message without responding with something does make them look like hypocrities when compared to what they say about themselves in their profile. A message received on a dating site should never be viewed as "junk mail" it isn't some radom computer spiting out e-mails. It's a message sent by a living breathing human being that has all the same feelings as yourself. As the old saying goes "treat other as you wish to be treated."
The flip side of that saying is: if you do run into one of those kind of people. Then I say "yes" treat them just like they treated you. If you send an e-mail and haven't received a reply in a timely manner. Then send them another and remind them of their bad manners and disrespectfulness to their fellow human beings. That in itself isn't being rude or less than respectable. These people need to be reminded that their behavior is very unacceptable and how much of a hypocrite they are in thie profile... | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/1/2004 3:31:29 PM | It's depressing if you want to date and nothing else.
The number of hits you fellows score in surching your town, is the same I get from all of my country!
If I would stick to dating only, I would have been gone right the next day after coming here.
I have an idea for you thou. If you want the rate male/female inverted, go to perform ballet-dancing.
lol
It's half a joke, half serious.
Tom | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/1/2004 8:09:03 PM | silken - a bit off of the topic, but you raised the thought of being dedicated to a search. Well, what if we aren't really dedicated to a search? I for one, am simply on here to see what it's like. A while ago I was actually serious about a search, and was even on a pay dating site! Not anymore. I'm too engrained in my life as a single man that it'll likely be quite difficult to give it up. Besides, after my 2 ex-girlfriends, I don't know if I can honestly say that I'd be better off with a gf. It would depend on the person, if anybody responds. Sure, some guys will use those lines you mentioned to try to get into your pants, but there are some of us who cannot really answer that question (what are you on here for?) right off the bat. My $0.02.
To ThatsHimOfficer - if you're serious about your search, silken has good advice. Other than that, be patient and good luck. | |
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silken
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Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 47 | |
| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/1/2004 9:06:49 PM | AgentPK I was saying in my previous message that if fun is all you're looking for that is ok, just be clear about it and make sure that is all the woman is looking for... my concern was with men who might actually want more but be missing out on suitable dating opportunities because they really weren't coming across as wanting anything more than fun.
silken | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/2/2004 6:49:39 PM | I whish I could get at least “unread-deleted”, but instead I always get: “Your picture is too ugly – Blocked”.
People that don’t reply based just on a picture (or lack of picture) without at least trying to know a little bit better the other person that seems to be interested, is people that is not worth to know at all.
By the way, what’s up with those girls that say that are looking only for friendship, but say that won’t reply without a picture? | |
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| Re: Online dating is depressing for guys
Posted: 10/3/2004 7:58:14 AM | | You are exactly right, mixtli. People who are THAT shallow arent' worth giving the time of day. It's a shame that the majority of people are like that. | |
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