| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 7/9/2007 11:31:06 PM | | Depends on the situation. Women historically are the care givers so a man might think there is something wrong with the woman-- that she isnt a good mother. But there can be other issues that come into play --- its hard to define with a straight answer though its sad to see any child totally seperated from one parent. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 7/10/2007 3:51:05 AM | It is completely wrong to say that courts favout mothers in the UK.
The courts mandate is generally the well being of the Child/Children and they will grant custody to the opropriate perant.
I had custody of my two sons for six years becouse I was financialy able to offer them a better life but once my ex was capable (financialy) we made the choice the childrens.
She was not a bad mother and still isn't. We both care very much for our children and the courts made the decision based on a lot of factors
(why do men automaticaly assume a court will grant custody to the mother, it's not the case.)
(why do people have to make assumptions about a woman who does not have her children living with her.)
For Christ sake people its the 2000's not the 16th century.
To assume is to make an ASS out of U and ME.
I think its becoming more the fact that fathers are smart enough these days and enlightend to there own rights. The dadds of the world fought back to take there place as Fathers and this has left some mothers without there children (it does not make them bad people).
IT'S ALL GOOD PEOPLE... | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 7/10/2007 9:14:26 PM | | basically there's only 2 reasons the mother was not willing or not able you could make any reason most are for the wrong reasons ie substance abuse the right reasons few and far could be medical , mental all decisions regarding children and who and why are hopefully in the best intrest of the child forget the parent less they have absolute reason not to be there for them .then and only then can we accept those answers all others are excuses.ps i'm asingle father with 2 kids over 10 years would never give that away for any reason or excuse | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:24:43 PM | | In my case yes. Sorry that I do, but becouse of my own situation, that is my first thought"what did she do?". I always ask the reason for the kids living with dad, but the bad thought is already there. See though, my ex left when the baby was two weeks old, left us to be with a woman and to be able to do drugs, now she is in prison. After raising my child for the last four years I could never be away from her. And can't see why any one would. I know there's times we all make mistakes in our lives and then we become better people, but if that is truly the case, I think your kids would be around you on all your free time. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 7/11/2007 8:36:06 PM | | MY EX LEFT ME WITH THE FIVE CHILDREN THAT I RAISE SINCE 1988. AT FIRST I WONDERED HOW SHE COULD LET ME HAVE THEM ALL. BUT AS THE YEARS WENT BY I LEARNED THAT IT SOMETIMES SHOWS MORE LOVE TO LET GO THEN TO HAVE THEM SEPERATED. A MANS POINT OF VIEW WHO GOT THE CHILDREN TO RAISE. JIM DADFATHEROF5 | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/26/2007 5:13:18 AM | Stay away... My girls live with me most of the time as they don't get along with her. They return part way through their week with her. With the first part of the week being threatened if you don't stop arguing you are going back to your dad..
You can learn alot about someone from their kids. I was with a lady, seemed fine but the kids were not happy with her.. in a few months I figured out why, when it was directed at me..
Danger Will Robinson if her kids won't stay with her.. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:44:46 AM | Stay away... My girls live with me most of the time as they don't get along with her. They return part way through their week with her. With the first part of the week being threatened if you don't stop arguing you are going back to your dad..
You can learn alot about someone from their kids. I was with a lady, seemed fine but the kids were not happy with her.. in a few months I figured out why, when it was directed at me..
Danger Will Robinson if her kids won't stay with her..
That's your situation, not everyone elses. And besides, plenty of children don't get along with their parents: married, single, widowed, or divorced. So any parent who has a problem with their child should be deemed unsuitable for dating? To put it bluntly, that's an idiotic theory.
Also, when logistically possible (time, distance, location) children SHOULD spend as much time with dad as they do with mom. It SHOULD be the norm, not the exception.
IMO, it should be a red flag to a woman when a man isn't spending a significant amount of time with their own child(ren). Women should avoid those men. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/26/2007 9:46:31 AM | another thread with five billion pages i didnt read..i did read the first two though..
to be honest, since being in canada a judge usually gives the children to the mother i'd wonder, but if the person is interested enough/cared enough they'd ask..i would..
i agree with the other poster, what you did for you child was a decision of love - you did it with the daughters interests at heart..and i hope that if the situation ever arose i would do the same for my son..
anyone whom would judge you without facts or at least questioning why doesn't deserve someone as level headed and capable as yourself..it takes a great deal for a mother to place the care of her child in another persons hands (sorry I couldnt think of a better way to word it) and the fact that you did this no matter how much I know you will miss her is incredible and even admirable..its makes you someone capable of thinking for others more than yourself because I know no doubt that you would have loved to keep your daughter in your own home, it also makes you rare..and anyone who doesnt take a moment to listen or understand you on this wouldnt be worth the kind of love you could give them..
JMHO (coined because I like it) | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/26/2007 6:45:23 PM | goaliebns
Can I get a response to this portion of my post also: That's your situation, not everyone elses. And besides, plenty of children don't get along with their parents: married, single, widowed, or divorced. So any parent who has a problem with their child should be deemed unsuitable for dating? | |
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GEOSC
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 140 | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:13:59 PM | The post is what do you initially think.. Initially when a woman says her kids are living with their father.. I go hmmm and I treat it as a red flag.. Others may not but I do. Yes kids don't get along with their parents from time to time. But if it is so bad that they don't want to live with the mom it isn't an isolated incident. Then I am not interested in dating that woman..
As I mentioned before I dated a lady and once I met her 2 kids (about my kids ages) , I saw how she treated them. Fine not the way I would, but everyone has different styles. But then I started to be in trouble all the time just like they were. Kids are pretty smart and don't usually bail on a parent without good reasons.
So to answer your question fully.. Yes any lady who has a problem with their child ( that is bad enough that they can't live with them) they are unsuitable for dating ME. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/27/2007 3:15:10 AM | what do you think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
why? thats the first thing i would think then after iv found out why i would judge for myself every parent is diffarent and both sexs can bring up there kids.
this has been a good post to read must admit not read them all just to many. take care all. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/27/2007 3:18:39 AM | (((((((((Can I get a response to this portion of my post also: That's your situation, not everyone elses. And besides, plenty of children don't get along with their parents: married, single, widowed, or divorced. So any parent who has a problem with their child should be deemed unsuitable for dating? )))))
Hiya just scanning through forums and getting to know my way around, i like your question. Hope I have it in the right context.
My own view would be, children are born with thier own identity, parents mould them slighltly and direct them as best as possible, largely mistakes made by parents are beliving they can change the " sqaure" personality the child is born with and force it in a "round "hole.
Children are not born to definately be compatable with thier parents and there is out side influence for the child that grows stronger every day and not always in the right direction.
I don't think a person should be catagoriesed for having trouble with thier child, possibly when the parent is having trouble with more than one child then, something could be a miss, but you would have to take into concideration, the childs age , the time of life they are experiencing.
Dont think can be as black and White as deemed unsutable for dating.
Sunrise x
regarding the initial Question of the thread, I feel a bit shocked when a women tells me ( a mother) that her child is living with thier dad, but its my own nerves that react , at the thought of not knowing that my child was warm and safe in bed in my home at the end of the day, but a father is just as capable of love and caring. there is so much that would have to be taken into consideration again, and only by getting to know the person why and how this came to be the situation woudl you then be able to make a true asessment. Best way to do that is become friends first.
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/27/2007 3:58:16 AM | I haven't read through all responses, so in response to the OP ..
I doubt I would think anything bad of the mother... simply because I was put in a situation where one of my children was better off living away from me.
She would have gone to live with her father if it wasn't for the fact that he was dead.
I've seen enough to know that things aren't always as black and white as we would like them to be, therefore I'd ask her directly why they didn't live with her.
I certianly wouldn't pass judgement before then. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:36:40 PM | | In the "Single Moms State" of Florida,if the kids are living with their Father and the Mother is alive...there is definitely some issues with the quality of care that the Mom was giving to lose custody. The only way a man can get custody in Florida is if the man is a judge,president of the Dept. of Human Services,or was just given the kids. It is the worst state for a good father to try and get full custody. Better to just agree with ex on some kind of joint custody instead of wasting your money to an expensive lawyer that won't get you anywhere. | |
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| What do you initially think when a woman says her kids live with their father?
Posted: 8/28/2007 12:46:51 AM | Since the question was about intial impressions and our impressions tend to be formed from our personal experience I would definately express some concern.
Sure I know there are legitimate reasons why a woman may not have custondy but my experience has shaped my initial reactions and thoughts. My ex walked out and didn't even try to see our four youngest for nearly 3 years. She even remarried and we didn't find our until six months after the fact. The man she married was her drug dealer and had physically abused our two youngest when they lived with her during the intial stages of the divorce.
So based upon my experience and the limited involvement I admitedly have had with custodial fathers where mothers have left to "enjoy" themselves or to be "happy" I question carefully why a mother would not be the custodial parent. However if the mom is active in the childs life I would quickly be understanding about the choice she made or had forced upon her. | |
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