| Hitting 40
Posted: 6/8/2009 3:09:07 AM | If 40 is the new 30, I will need to update my profile...
Wondered why I felt so young... | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 6/9/2009 6:46:58 PM | I think getting older can be difficult if you realize that your time above ground is diminishing, and you still have so much you want to accomplish.
I think I'm doing better emotionally now at age 44 than I did at 24. It's all in your perspective. It's all about learning those lessons! I have not noticed a lack of emails/interest as I have aged. That has stayed about the same as when I was in my 30's.
People do get set in their ways, that is true. But that too can change. Again, it's all in your mindset. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:30:14 PM | Not set in their ways as much as new to the scene. Getting out and about can be difficult at the 40 mark, but only if you let it be. I love getting out, but let's face it, the odds are that most our age are at home, or at a recital lol. Most have settled down and for those of us who have had their lives recently "unsettled" we find fewer people in similar circumstances.
You are less likely to have several friends that are able to go out with you and when you do, nobody really knows where to go lol. There are places for the young at heart, but you have to find them. The music is not as loud and the drinks are better and the company can be much more enjoyable, so do some Googling and see what you find. Most cities have a search site for bars, clubs, restaurants and so forth. Start there and try a new place each week. You will be surprised what's been right under your nose for years. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/28/2009 3:24:14 PM | Hitting forty is a nightmare!!!!! | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/28/2009 9:30:49 PM | Ha...wait until you get 53 and those pesky wrinkles keep showing up 
Seriously this is an issue; along with the fact that, I was married for 30 years when my husband passed away in Dec 2006.
So here I am at 53, having to deal with being older and, having to learn dating all over again, grrrrrr | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/28/2009 10:05:57 PM | Few people say it openly but the truth with me is that although I turned 40 back in January, I feel absolutely no different in my mind to when I was 14. I am every bit as curious if not more so. I am every bit as playful and every bit the same character. The element that has changed is that I have simply experienced that much more now. The questions never stop though.
My friends and I agreed last weekend that we are the same minds and essential people but in older bodies. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:51:37 PM | | OP, I don’t know. My mom has been widowed for 30 years and it’s been a real nightmare. I concur with her. I don’t know why but meeting anyone at 40 is a nightmare. Even for friendship, it’s about impossible. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:41:37 PM | I have noticed that about myself too. I was extremely social in my early twenties (boderline living dangerously). I could walk up to a complete stranger and flirt, I could command a room full of people like an orchestra conductor, was really good at it. But around age 28 I decided I want to have a "private life" so I consciously put up a "shield" to prevent strangers from striking small talk with me unless its at a work event or something of the sort. I kind of admire the way I used to just be open to everybody but eeks, its a lot of work now I have an idea of the kind of people I want to attract so I open up my energies to only these kinds of people as opposed to the whole world.
Also its a full-time job fighting my own prejudices against myself and my age. Like some days (this when I was 25) I would wake up feeling like I was 200 years old and everyone was younger than me. Sometimes these thoughts were very harrassing and could get me really down. Then the next day I would be high as a kite. Its all in your head, what you choose to believe. But wether or not you like it time is ticking away and those who are 2 years old will one day be 12, 22, and 62. If you consider yourself dead after 30 there is no point in living the rest of your life as a zombie. Cut it out already, the rest of us need a little more oxygen :D. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:45:50 PM | It has been a strange year for me turning 40. Maybe it is in my head but you start noticing things are geared toward younger people. Staying out late isn't as much fun as it used to be because most people your age are in bed. All your friends are married or have kids and aren't available to do things. All the waitresses and clerks that used to be around your age have been replaced by young girls and don't relate to you.
Most women around your age don't like to date anymore. The standards you have to meet and the walls you must climb are ridiculous, "no compromises" and "I won't settle" seems to work it's way more and more into the vocabulary.
Yeah I know it is all a state of mind, but reality creeps in from time to time. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:41:00 AM | I have to admit that I was scared shetless to hit 40. Then I did....realizing that it is no different then the 20's and 30's except that I am a little wiser and more willing to move off my position in life. I am having the time of my life in 40's and still taking care of business.
I think people are only stuck in their ways if they wanna be stuck in thier ways and that can happen at any age. If you want to grow as a person....then you will do things to enhance your life through personal growth. We are all works in progress! | |
|
| Hitting 40 in 2 years
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:10:58 AM | Honestly, I just turned 40 this year and I look and feel better now than I did in my early 20s. This comes from a healthier attitude, eating right, not staying out partying all night and staying in shape. Can I relate to 18 year olds? Not like I used to. I'm with the guy who said he doesn't understand piercings through various body parts. I also don't get tattoos. Not sexy to me at all! But -- whatever floats your boat.
It's easier now for me to make friends because I’m not a jerk like I was when I was 20. I don't say the "stupid" things I said when I was 20. I'm not nearly as naïve as I was when I was 20. I'm finacially much better off than I was at 20. Heck, about the only good thing about me at 20 was -- no wait. When I was 20, I still looked 16. LOL.
My point is, age is an attitude -- a state of mind. Some of my closest friends are in their 20s. I've dated 20-somethings. I work with 20-somethings and we get along fine. Just don't be a prude! Have some hobbies, work out, occupy your time with productive things.
You're only as old as you feel and act :)
Cheers | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/30/2009 9:52:31 AM | Please don't take this the wrong way for those between 40-50. This is just an observation on my part.
Most of my friends between 40-50 have some kind of issues (especially if single).
*Women friends. They are very clingy. It is almost like they need validation of some sort. Some of these are people I look up to so when they start behaving like that its very baffling. Its something hard to explain but I notice it with a lot of my female friends over 40. They want you to tell them its okay being single, they want to confide, they want to....I don't know what they want. But I feel the pressure. Its overbearing.
*Male friends. I literally run away from my single male friends over 40. A lot of them want to be validated by having something more than a mere friendship. Its always a lot of pressure to keep it platonic, you can feel the undurcurrents. Its not as if they really want to be with you but its just that they want to prove that they can have you and no matter how much you try and circumvent the issue it always comes back to someone trying to make a move on you. The ones that are married are no better either. I don't know if men over 40 are generally unhappy in their relationship but you can tell by the way they move that they are on the verge of screwing up their marriage.
To be honest all this makes me dread age 40. If you are healthy mentally between age 40-50 you are one in a million. Don't let it slip. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:37:31 PM | Hit 40 way back in February there.
Not feeling any different then I did at 20,30,35,37,38,39..
State of mind as they say. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:45:09 PM | Better than hitting 50, But i think as we age we get more confidance and therefore approach others easier than when young, Yes it can be hard to make new friends as we age, but look to a bit older than you and you will find friends there and besides you feel younger around them
But some people as they age they put them selves down to,they think they are old at act it, So you are only as old as you feel and so go out and make friends with anyone that you like. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:44:04 PM | | I wouldn't go back into time to my twenties or thirties if I were paid very well to do so. I work out religiously,enjoy good health, and look forward to enjoying myself more now at 40 than I did 20 years ago because they were the darkest days of my life. I am more independent and look forward to a couple of grandchildren that I know will come before I hit 50. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:36:45 PM | I fall into the "life is better after 40 crowd" although not exactly in the ways I thought it would. I am much more confident in myself and my world view than I ever imagined I would be and that helps me communicate better and accept rejection easily.
My issue is mostly reminding myself that I am older. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:39:43 PM | | I physically feel better in my forties (46) than I did in my twenties and I'm havin a lot more fun! I took my younger years for granted and it's taken this long to learn how to live! Bonzia! | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 7/31/2009 8:10:07 PM | For women hitting 40 means life gets better.
For men hitting 40 means life is almost over.
Dating is always easier and better for women when they are in thier 40's. They prefer and want younger men and women can and most times do look great.
Us men on the otherhand look aged. And no for some reason the first thing everyone thinks is the guy let's himself go. Hey if we all aged identically, I guess we all would look young forever right? Genetics is what it comes down to.
So men in thier 40's more and more become unattractive to women over 40's. And so being single in your 40's as a man? Probably will be single for good.
As for being set in our ways. remember the double standard boys. Women are allowed to be, men should never be. Women can have baggage, men had better not.
You get the picture.
Just also remember, no one will admit to it, always hiding thier skeletons in thier closet. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:10:48 AM |
Dating is always easier and better for women when they are in their 40's. They prefer and want younger men and women can and most times do look great. Us men on the other hand look aged. And no for some reason the first thing everyone thinks is the guy let's himself go. Hey if we all aged identically, I guess we all would look young forever right? Genetics is what it comes down to. So men in their 40's more and more become unattractive to women over 40's. And so being single in your 40's as a man? Probably will be single for good. As for being set in our ways. remember the double standard boys. Women are allowed to be, men should never be. Women can have baggage, men had better not. You get the picture.
^^ Age is not the reason for your poor social life. Why would any woman want someone who seems to have that much baggage? Seriously.
As far as physical appearance, genetics plays a role but the most important aspect is activity and diet. If you loaf around the couch all day, never exercise (not meaning working out at a gym) and are putting on some pounds, you are not going to look as attractive as someone with a more active lifestyle. Looks matter a great deal, but you don't have to work out all day or do anything special to have a decent build.
I do a lot of hiking with a local meetup group and I constantly am meeting women in their 40s and 50s who look damn good! Why should they settle for a guy who has let himself go, which is what many in the country (man and women) have done? Normal aging in one thing, but beer bellies, morbid obesity, and zero fitness have nothing to do with it.
Women care much less about a few wrinkles, balding heads and normal aging than most men do. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:39:28 PM |
Women care much less about a few wrinkles, balding heads and normal aging than most men do.
God a blading guy is the most unattractive to any woman regardless of age.
Thing is, men know that if they try to look better, they get accused of trying to look younger. And in turn that says they are trying to relive thier youth.
Times have changed and women in thier 40's and 50's can, will, and are allowed to look and act younger like I have mentioned.
This is why men in thier mid 20's to30's are the most desired and sought after men these days. I accept that and realize that. Most men in thier 40's do not realize this and so keep thinking they will get these women thier age. Not many will I would say. And women do not date older so you can rule out dating younger men. Just is how today's dating world has evolved. C'est la vie. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 8/4/2009 3:25:28 AM | Staying out late isn't as much fun as it used to be because most people your age are in bed.
I love to go out with my friends and they have kids - we usually go for a girls night about once a month and we go to the pubs and on to a club to have a laugh and carry on usually until 3 in the morning (kids tucked up safely in bed and well looked after)
Women care much less about a few wrinkles, balding heads and normal aging than most men do.
I actually like men with no hair - I call them smoothies - for obvious reasons.
I turned 40 a couple of weeks ago and doesn't bother me in the slightest. I feel more confident and sure of myself,I am a bigger build woman with a few extra pounds but dress nicely and I get plenty of attention (not always wanted) but choose who I date and won't be panicking because I have hit 40 - life is for living not worrying about a how old you are. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 8/4/2009 4:44:18 AM | | I think you are right. I'm finding the older I get the more set in my ways I become. I'm not 40 but getting close and for me the difference between 30 and close to 40 yrs of age is the biggest change I've ever known. 40ish is like a slap in the face. I'm noticing wrinkles when I wake up, my body is softer than ever and the lotions and creams are endless!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:56:12 AM | | Like I said, hitting 40 is welcomed for women, and is a sign for men that the end is near in the dating realm. How can I compete against 20 and 30 something hardbodies and buff guys? Not a chance. Is why myself, at 40 will not compete and would rather let the guys with the goods have the ladies. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:56:26 AM |
Well, I will be 40 this year and it seems harder to make new friends and even harder to find that special someone. What is it about getting older that makes i more difficult? Are older people just to set in their ways? I'm getting close to 40. What makes it difficult is that most people our age are married or married with children and don't hang out anymore unless its with other couples.
Personally, I am not interested in hanging out with a bunch of 20-somethings. I outgrew the bar and club scene over 10 years ago. Its harder to find that special someone for reasons I stated above; and in my experience most women in their 20's are not interested in dating someone our age. | |
|
| Hitting 40
Posted: 8/4/2009 12:31:34 PM | I believe that hitting your 40's for women is the best times of thier lives, and for men is a sign that we are old, and get called old so it is not something we relish.
So much out there is geared towards women looking, feeling and acting younger. Nothing is geared towards men to be looking, feeling and acting younger. So this plays into the fact that men are done by thier 40's and women are having the time of thier life.
I think there are way more men in thier 40's who are single, not by choice. As opposed to the amount of women who are single in thier 40's by choice. | |
|
Home
login 
