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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:32:33 AM | Hi Cyclern, Can see your busy but would love your input when you have the time, I know it needs rewriting but where to start and what to keep is the prob... Promise not to bite back or take anything to hart...too much lol | |
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| Need help...
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:27:21 AM | Please review my profile. I never get any replys to my e-mails
Charlette | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:34:37 AM | Halbailman:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member2528624.htm
Title: not sure why someone would put that?? You are describing a car, are you saying you have a fast car? A title should describe you or what you want. To me it says I have a fast car, date me. I wouldn’t.
Pics: I actually had to read the stats to see if you were male or female. You need better pics! Pictures should not contain objects that take away from you (record, headphones, gaming glove, tea pot???) the pics are killing your chances!
Narration: can you say run-ons? “In the past this meant me putting academics first before women but now as I grow older and wiser I realize that Intelligence is not everything nor is learning and thus I like every other man need to embrace my heart regardless how foreign its illogical workings may be for someone in the computer science field who is used to working with very logical constraints.” Wow…. Be a gentleman and a scholar and fix this. Capitalization is random. Interests are good. You need to be more to the point, for example -
“I would love to find someone on the same page as me in life for dating but regardless of what happens I am ALWAYS open to more friends as friends are something a person can never have too many of. My three passions in life are Computer Programming (my future career), Music and playing a musical Instrument (Piano), and Cooking In no particular order. Who knows maybe we can share one of those passions or maybe just share something else?”
Looking for someone to date with similar lifestyle. Always open to more friends. Passions: computer programming, piano, cooking. Off beat sense of humor, love cooking fine meals, All the other stuff is understood.
Faux pas: first date shouldn’t say anything about what you won’t do. Shows limitations and that is a turn off. It’s also negative.
Conclusion: needs a lot of work, redo pics, fix narration as suggested.
Rating: 3 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:00:56 AM | sharedfantasy
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member1313823.htm
Title: is okay, but be careful, you will need to describe what makes you sensual and what makes a lady fascinating.
Pics: get rid of all of them except the first and last one. You can email the others if asked. They aren’t very appealing, and kinda weird, one is blurry. Guys, if you are trying to find a date with a woman, you need to NOT put up pics with other women!! This is a huge no-no! I don’t care if it’s your mom, sister, aunt, grandma… takes away from you. If someone is interested, they will soon ask about family, then you can send pics if you wish.
Narration: interests – get rid of some of those juvenile interests like arcade and video games. Get rid of fun, music, performance, retro, sex, love. Who doesn’t like fun, music, sex and love? What does performance and retro mean? Maybe I’m just too old to understand, you are less than half my age.
“I play games. Deal with it.” You will never get a date with this. OMG, your first paragraph sounds like a 12 year old. The second paragraph is you telling women you think you are good at sex. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that. Do you think we give a sh*$ if you are? LOL! Every woman is different. If you really want to please a woman, let her know you are interested in getting to know her and her wants and needs. That’s a good start. Getting into your “when I lost my virginity” is not a something you put on a profile!!! That is something you talk about after the first few dates with a woman! This profile is a mess!!!!
Don’t care about all the music groups you listen to, just give genres. It is so boring to read all that. You are repetitive. Sorry just can’t imagine someone like you talking about the dynamics of politics and current events. Take it out. This all is just too wordy. First date is way too much. Get that testimonial off of there. That is killing you too! You really need to be honest with yourself. You put intimate encounter and that is what you will get, don’t confuse it with stuff that appears like you want a relationship. Unfortunately most women who respond to your profile will be crazy and not worth dating again, but I think maybe that is what you want. You are a child and you write and act like a child.
Faux pas: negative testimonial, don’t keep it
Conclusion: horrible profile, didn’t like anything about it. Worst one yet. I don’t think you really wanted my opinion, but you have it nonetheless.
Rating: 1 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:16:07 AM | Vicguyforfun:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member808451.htm
title: good, kinda boring though
pics: lighting is bad, second pic kinda corny
narration: good, to the point, tells what you want, some interests. First date has good practical suggestions, take out “for a first date i would like to do something fun like...” Not bad, Vic. I can tell you why you aren’t getting any emails if that is what you want to know. The profile is good, except your pictures. The clothing isn’t really complimenting you. The lighting is bad, and you look very submissive and insecure. Find a better shirt, don’t do any dorky poses, and fix the lighting.
Faux pas: fake poses in pictures – always comes across as dorky or corny, unless you are a model, in which case I don’t think you would be here! LOL
Conclusion: fix the pictures, watch punctuation.
Rating: 5 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 12:01:57 PM | vitalstats:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4415124.htm
Title: repetitious, repetitious, repetitious
Pics: great pic, good lighting, nice smile, just need one more, preferable a full body shot.
Narration: interests, patios? Doesn’t make sense to me, I’d take that out. About me should start with about you, and I first thought you were doing that, but then you write, “Is that too much to ask for?” Start that part with “I’m looking for…” writing things like “you must be able to” or “you have to” is limiting. It says you are demanding. Better to write, “I would to be outsmarted, not only in sports trivia.” You ask for honesty, but not brutal. Honest is brutal at times. Honesty with tact is better. You need to be careful with your wording, you are coming across as demanding (I have and so should you). First date is good. It’s a bit wordy.
take out the I’s when possible. It makes it easier to ready. “I love to laugh, be laughed at, tend to be cheeky, with a crazy sense of humour, I am feisty and like someone that can stimulate my mind. I refuse to be whiny, wimpy or whipped (in sports that is). It's the same ol' song and dance with me, but with more fun! I like to go out with friends, hang at home and watch movies (that's why I bought my big screen in the first place!) Not to be scared off by the movie theatres b/c I like them too! I enjoy a nice red wine with dinner, but there are also times for wings, beer and pizza. I don't get hung up on the little things... there just isn't enough time in this life to be worrying about all that. I like to be spontaneous and just go away for a weekend.”
Try this: love to laugh, be laughed at, cheeky, crazy sense of humor, feisty, spontaneous. Am not whiny, wimpy or whipped (sports). Go out with friends, hang at home, watch movies (on my big screen or at the theatre). Also enjoy red wine, beer with wings and pizza. Don’t let little things bother me, life’s too short.
Things about you in one paragraph, things you want in a mate/date/friend/significant other in another paragraph. Remember ave read for a profile is about 30-60 seconds.
Faux pas: too many restrictions on the mail preferences, unless you are absolutely not tolerant at all of any of these I would get rid of a few. Someone may smoke a cigar every now and then but in all honesty would have to put smokes occasionally. Age range is a bit restricted, I would make it 5 years less and more of your age (28-38).
Conclusion: need full pic, fix narration, get rid of a couple mail preferences.
Rating: 6 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 12:17:51 PM | | Id apreciate any help at all. I already know two things, I need to get a better title, but i have no clue what to put, and I need to work on smiling. Again, anything at all would be apreciated. | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 12:22:51 PM | Midnitewind:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member3783270.htm
title: get rid of seeking, that is why you are here! get rid of attractive. Of course you want someone you are attracted to. Maybe I’m wrong, is anyone out there looking for an unattractive person? How about fun, loving woman wanted?
Picture: are you ready? ……
BAD BAD BAD! Get rid of it. It is unattractive, unflattering and can’t even see your face? Okay, this will pass for a bad body shot, however you need to get rid of the fish! That picture says, look honey, I know how to fish, don’t you want to go out with me? I mean fishing is great and I love to fish myself, however, a bad picture for a profile to get a date. I’ve written this many times, a nice head shot with a smile, and a decent body shot without other objects that take away from you.
Narration: “too many to list” is not an option, you must put down a few that interest you the most! It helps someone decide if they are compatible. I like your about me section. You write what you like, what you want. However you will have trouble finding a date with this. Most women don’t like guns, even though many men have them, but to say they are like your children is a bit scary. Woodsy outdoorsy type of women don’t really spend much time on the internet. They would rather be outside doing things. So I don’t think this is the way to go for you to meet the type of women you are interested in dating. You do seem like a fun, all American kinda guy. First date should never be a movie because you can’t really get to know your date that way. First date should be somewhere you can talk and hear each other.
Faux pas: “my guns are my children” WOOO RED FLAG!!! Take it out!!
Conclusion: better pics, fix narration, fix fix fix
Rating: 4 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 12:45:29 PM | tdv000:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member3804864.htm
Title: confusing…I could be the one? You could be the one? And the question mark at the end doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe because I am blond and twice your age, who knows. I don’t like to see questions as a title anyway. How about “you could be the one”
Pics: great head shot, fabulous! Now you just need at least one more full body shot.
Narration: “It's hard writing about yourself - but here goes.” Get rid of it.
“I am polite, caring, honest and have a good head on my shoulders. I like hockey, golf, music and my friends who I consider a big part of my life.” Good.
“I am looking for someone who is not going to play around, has some direction in life and cares for me as much as I do for them.” First the “not going to play around” – I don’t think anyone intentionally does this, you should say something like you are looking for someone who wants a serious relationship. Second part is good. Third part, “cares for me as much as I do for them” – you are not looking for someone like that because that comes with getting to know someone, know what I mean? A complete stranger that you find on here is not going to “care for me as much as I do for them” until they know you. This goes along with not playing around. A serious relationship consists of two people caring about one another. Take it out.
“I like going out but also like staying in and watching a good movie.” This can go with the first part of the narration, with your likes. “Really if you want more send a msg and we can chat.” Not needed, take it out, shows you just don’t want to take the time to fill out a profile, which means, maybe not to everyone, but sort of implies that you only do what you have to, don’t write that. Plus, of course if someone is interested they are going to message you, not needed.
First date okay. I wouldn’t recommend movies on the first date. I hate when people talk when I’m at a movie! I like to throw popcorn at them.
Faux pas: ‘prefer not to say’ – RED FLAG, WHAT ARE YOU HIDING? Do you do drugs? No, socially or often? It can always be explained later.
Conclusion: another pic, fix narration, get rid of ‘prefer not to say’
Rating: 6 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 1:04:04 PM | lvdusk:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4270517.htm
title: ‘your favorite fish’ – nah… title should be about you or what you want, short and catchy. I would change this. “a great catch’ (using your fish euphemism)
Pics; wow, great! I would get rid of the cat pic, this is a big turn off for many men. You need a full body shot.
Narration: you need to put a profession. You can always be very vague and explain later. Sales, healthcare, transportation, anything…
About me is very good, a little bit of repetition (an easy going guy who likes to take it easy). You list a few key things as to what you want and what you like, good. First date is good. Take out all those emoticons, a few are okay. There really isn’t much wrong with this profile. I can’t imagine you not getting emails?! Short and sweet is good and you aren’t at all blunt.
Faux pas: pictures of animals, would not put in a dating profile
Conclusion: good profile, fix pics, little fix on narration.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 1:30:48 PM | Keyboardplayer:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4460786.htm
title: good to the point, a bit long though
pics: get rid of second pic, other two are great, great smile. Need a full body pic.
Narration: first paragraph kind of sounds like a commercial, like you are selling yourself. Okay so I guess maybe we are trying to sell ourselves. I would take out all the “buts”. LOL - too much but there. No one likes a lot of but, well maybe there are a few that do.
Job, ethnicity, education… not needed. Under profession I would put teacher/pilot.
Okay we get that you have been around the world, it is kind of boring to read all that. Put traveled the world. Some people are a little too detailed, and the reader gets bored quick. It can be explained in emails when asked. Under interests is where you should put comedy. When you are specific, make it brief, for example – favorites – international foods, world music, dance, jazz... Also list favorite movies, books, activities - this all really should go under interests, but not too many! Last read book is okay. First date suggestions are good. I wouldn’t recommend movie though. about me should be what you are like, personality, what you are looking for.
Faux pas: be careful not to sound as though you are bragging. This can be a turn off. Be brief.
Conclusion: fix narration, overall good profile.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 1:43:42 PM | VintageBosnian:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4339875.htm
title: cute, funny. Should be about you or what you want. this tells me alcoholic, drinker, partier, not relationship material.
Pics: black and white is not my style. Need color, good lighting and above all – SMILE! Need full body shot.
Narration: body type not filled in, although I think we can tell you are not "few extra pounds". Profession needs filled out. Put student or whatever it is you do for work. Looking for someone to hang out with, is that all? Why come on a dating site for that? It sounds to me like you are looking for a girl to take to parties with you. You don’t have much to offer and you don’t list any interests. If you have no problem getting emails, why do you want my opinion? Nothing listed for first date, apparently you are not looking for a date anyway.
Faux pas: asking for my opinion when you really don’t want it.
Conclusion: bad profile, major fix. Just looking for a party girl. Probably no job, that is why none is listed. Saying you do a lot of partying won’t get you anyone except a girl who wants to party and get a free ride.
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 2:00:37 PM | Rogerj717:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member3154337.htm
title: “the one you want, can you impress me?” take out the second part
pics: good, finally someone with a head shot and a full shot, good job.
Narration: profession – “phone man”??? Communications sounds so much better, we can see by the pic anyway what you do. Interests: great. I wouldn’t put anything negative in your profile, such as being compulsive. Being honest is great, and we all have our quirks, but I wouldn’t put them out there right away. List the positive, if someone is interested in you, you can email and ask about your idiosyncrasies. Your sense of humor shows, which women like. The paragraph about kids really needs to be shortened! It’s obvious you’ve been through some stuff. It shouldn’t be on your profile. Say that you love kids. If someone is interested in you, you can tell them in emails about your past if they ask. Most people won’t bring them on the first or even second date. Most parents are very protective of their children. Well the narration is a bit wordy, needs to be cut down a bit. First date –“ bowling, pool, fishing, movies, whatever… Just relax and have fun” that’s all you need.
Faux pas: talking about past – may not realize you are doing this, but when you list things you don’t want, that is telling everyone what you been through and it is negative!
Conclusion: funny profile, nice sense of humor, just need cut down a bit. Take out the negative parts.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 2:20:10 PM | Blueraspberry:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member3260920.htm
title: “trying to find atlantis” huh? This site is for finding dates, not lost islands. Change it.
Pics: get rid of them all. Grainy, bad lighting, bad color, you aren’t looking at the camera in any of them and no full body shot. You are a very pretty girl with a great smile, the pics are killing you.
Narration: interests are good. You don’t need to describe your looks with a good pic! Hint, hint. Just about your personality and what you want in a potential date.
“My sound weird to some but I enjoy playing in the snow and rain...” take out everything before “I”. who cares if it sounds weird to some. You sound insecure writing that! Even if you are insecure, which I think we all are at some level, don’t let it show in your words here. I can tell you are 19. never say I just like hanging out, this sounds so boring and lazy. When I think of hanging out, I think of a group of homeless guys at a street corner smoking weed. Try not to use slang in your profile. Say what you mean. You like sitting on the porch talking with your friends or whatever. You need to list the things you like to do, the other stuff you have under first date is good except movie, you can’t talk there. I would take that you “love to workout”. People who love to work out look like nothing but muscle, or are very thin because they love it, that’s all they do for 8 hours a day. Putting you work out occasionally and what you do when you work out is okay, it’s honest and most guys are the same way.
Faux pas: slang - interpreted differently, sounds lazy
Conclusion: overhaul, not much thought went into this profile it seems. Fix pics, narration, take out negative and slang
Rating: 3 out of 10 | |
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| I'll tell you what is wrong with your profile...
Posted: 7/4/2007 2:35:57 PM | MarkL2007
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member3659263.htm
title: cute, but not good. As I’ve said before, not much thought is going into the titles and it’s the second thing that is looked at after the pictures. Needs to be short, catchy, describes you or what you want.
Pics: first one is good and is why you are getting lots of looks. The rest are bad. You need a good head shot, with a smile, and preferable not a black tshirt. You look much better when you smile. Fix your hair and maybe a little eye makeup to cover those dark circles. You look like you haven’t slept in years.
Narration: long, already I’m thinking I don’t want to read all this. Get rid of the first sentence. No negativity – take out, “so please be gentle with me as I don’t always know what to say.” Dislikes shouldn’t be there. You can get into this in future emails. Makes profile too long. Get rid of “ I am currently working….” Not needed. Photo preferred can be put under mail settings if you don’t want photoless replies. Movie is not a good first date. So many people list this. A first date should be a noncomitting, public venue, where you can talk and get to know each other.
Faux pas: black tshirt, no smile, black circles under eyes – can you honestly say I’d go out with him? At least try to take a nice pic.
Conclusion: fix pics, shorten narration, no negativity
Rating: 4 out of 10
Good luck and keep fishing
C | |
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