| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 1:07:28 PM | | the best way to handle that is to ignore the wink and not say anything, or say "I don't get involved in drinking and partying because I've seen what it does to people and Ive been around that atmosphere and it doesnt appeal to me. It's nothing personal and I appreciate the wink and your interest and you seem like a decent person from the rest of your profile, but I just dont feel like this would be an ideal situation for me. Thank you." Something like that. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 1:19:16 PM | Instead of getting defensive (and I completely understand why that is your first reaction), calm down and look at it without emotion. He gave you some honest feedback on why "he" wouldn't be interested in you.
And it's probably true that many guys looking for a serious relationship are going to be turned off by someone who lists GNOs and getting hammered as their favorite activities. And yeh, GNOs are one of my favorite things too. But for some reason, many men seem to think this means getting drunk and picking up men. lol We NEVER pick up men on GNOS. It's all about the girls.
But still...think of it as good criticism. Maybe even email him back and thank him for pointing that out as you hadn't considered how listing things that you enjoyed doing, but rarely do, would appear to men reading your profile. Then wish him luck. Ignore his nastiness. Be nice. lol | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 53 | |
| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 1:34:55 PM |
But still...think of it as good criticism. Maybe even email him back and thank him for pointing that out as you hadn't considered how listing things that you enjoyed doing, but rarely do, would appear to men reading your profile. Then wish him luck. Ignore his nastiness. Be nice. lol Arugula seems like a very smart lady...this is great advice. Instead of coming back at the guy with something witty, come back at him with kindness. The other way would make it seem like you are really affected by his comments, this way you end up being the "bigger person". | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 3:00:47 PM | | Maybe he needs to go buy another personality. You know, one with humour, tolerance, understanding, humour.........................oh hell I already said that! Just move on and count your blessings, he's obviously looking for someone as perfect(?) and faultless as he is. To this person I have three little words........Rots of Ruck! | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 3:22:07 PM |
drake55 on 7/1/2007 1:03:33 PM
Subject: I need a witty retort!!!
Message: I dont think that was the gentlemanly thing to do at all. Criticizing or condemning someone for that seems kind of cheap and unnecessary, especially after she showed interest with a wink. If youre going to condemn or judge someone for something so minor as that than thats pretty low. A real gentleman rejects women he doesn't want with more class than that.
Drake55- Coming from a man, I really appreciate your comment. I was beginning to think I was overly sensitive!
I'm not going to respond to this guy at all although I think you had a really good suggestion. I've changed my profile as it didn't really reflect who I was so, hopefully this won't happen again in the future. I can take constructive criticism but I felt the tone in which he communicated his criticism was unnecessary. This guy needs to learn some manners!
Anyways! There're plenty of people who have shown interest so, I'm not in the least bit worried.
Thanks. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 5:31:11 PM | Drake55 said: "He should have just ignored the wink and not said anything at all if he wasn't interested,"
How many posts have we heard from men and women complaining about how sh*tty it is NOT to get a response from someone they have sent a first "wink" email to? Geeze! | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 6:03:40 PM |
wishes granted on 7/1/2007 5  11 PM Subject: I need a witty retort!!! Message: Drake55 said: "He should have just ignored the wink and not said anything at all if he wasn't interested," How many posts have we heard from men and women complaining about how sh*tty it is NOT to get a response from someone they have sent a first "wink" email to? Geeze!
wishes granted and silverfox111: i actually wouldn't have minded in the slightest if he hadn't responded. I realize it's the nature of online dating.
Besides, I sent winks to a few others too and to some I sent an email becuase I know how fickle online dating can be and you never know who is or is not going to interested. So, if I get a response great. I'm not waiting around for anyone and I'm certainly not hurt is someone doesn't respond. You can't make someone like you.
If someone takes the time out to say "thanks but no thanks" my response would be "thanks so much for taking the time to send a response. good luck to you too."
If felt this guy was not just saying "thank you but, i'm not interested" but was also (and I use this very loosely) attacking me. That wasn't necessary and he's a jerk for doing it.
I have decided there's no need for me to say anything to him. His own lack of character will come around and bite him in the a$$. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 6:58:42 PM | pandorasflowers.. As mentioned in my post #44.. I think he was a bit of a jerk in his reply email as well.. but as Silverfox put it, at least he responded.
I have read many posts on the lack of response theme and most think that the "jerk" who doesn't respond at all, is just as much an A$$...
In any event.. I do wish you only the best!.. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 8:22:20 PM |
How many posts have we heard from men and women complaining about how sh*tty it is NOT to get a response from someone they have sent a first "wink" email to? To me thats a better choice than condemning someone in an email for something minor like this and making them feel slighted or robbed. Id much rather not get an email from a woman than to hear, "Well, i dont think youre that good looking and im not interested."
That would make me feel angry. It's unnecessary to make someone feel angry like that. It obviously upset her because shes here, it would upset me too, and it's totally unnecessary. Things like that are better left unsaid. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 8:37:17 PM | Agreed that a rude response is unnecessary. My original Point.. However I believe that in the long and the short of it. The respondent to her wink, was honest in his reply regardless of how blunt he may have been.
As to the original question. Op wanted to retaliate. Not the best plan of action IMO.
Had she retaliated. If she thought he was rude and attacked her original attempt, then I believe he would have given it to her with both barrels on any further correspondence.
In any event, she has chosen not to correspond further and I wish her the best.
~Wishes~ | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 8:46:22 PM | | I don't believe you were wronged at all & it's this kind of whining, "I'm the woman & I'm hurt & therefore he's a jerk" nonsense that confuses men & gives us all a bad name. He responded to you, he was polite, acknowledged your wink & told you honestly why he was not interested. How many threads have I read (& I've only been here a little over a month!) saying that we would happy with just that. He didn't like your idea of a good time, he gave you a chance to re-consider the message your profile sends. That's a gift, not an insult. Move on. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 9:19:31 PM | str8ahd: "he gave you a chance to re-consider the message your profile sends. That's a gift, not an insult. " .. Well said!
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/1/2007 9:43:43 PM |
This guy didn't have to say anything at all. But to respond in such a nasty way I feel I deserves a response. However, I'm not always very good with words and was hoping to get some help sending him an equally nasty response!
hahhaha too funny...
wow...you got it light if you think thats being nasty and hurtful...
some of the girls I try to pick up...that turn me down...really try to break my spirit & confidence...and some of things you girls say are really unncessary...when a simple no would suffice...but then i realize they are simply attempting to boost their self-esteem and fill their insecurties by trying to break yours... | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 65 | |
| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:24:26 AM | Many are condemning this guy for being so "rude"...he wasn't rude at all. Some people are way too sensitive if that was rude. Nobody is attractive to everyone all the time.
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:53:06 AM | Firstly I dont think a girls night out depicts anything except girls only, does not suggest drinking, it does not suggest anything but girls only!
Secondly I hear a lot on here that guys are bitter when they get unwanted attention and when they do not get a reply they send, just seems to me to be the internet. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:33:20 AM | Pandora, let it go the guy wasn't interested and told u so, maybe his most recent ex was an alcoholic who slept with his brother and beat him with a mallet on her 'girls nights out'.
For all he knows you could be playing bingo and using your nephews playtoys to get hammered with, he obviously has some issues about alcohol for that to be his first instinctive response anyway.
Whatever his reasons he obviously has a sh*tload of his own problems to get over so just ignore him, chalk it down as experience and if you don't want to get tarred with the same brush by others consider changing your profile hun.
Who knows, the guy may even have felt like he was trying to help you? who knows what goes on in someone elses head!
Alternatively he could just be a nasty person, and if so why lower yourself to his level by responding in kind, he's obviously not worth it so I would recommend a girls night out and get hammered 
Or not of course!
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:49:56 AM | | There's nothing wrong with his response. Why should he be attracted to someone who's idea of a good time is getting hammered? You say you are committed to friends and family. But aren't alot of these people the ones you get hammered with anyway? The problem is your ego has been hurt and you want to lash out at him. If you can make it so that people aren't interested in him you'll feel better about yourself . Anyone who goes along the same path as you or even supports your ideas are as shallow as you. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/3/2007 6:35:07 AM | I'd say just move on, he's obviously not worth your time and he was being truthful about why he wasn't interested....
this just makes you seem petty. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:35:09 AM | Food for thought:
Whilst listing 'girls night out' and 'getting hammered' as two interests does not necessarily mean you are a party-girl who's unlikely to want or be able to sustain a serious relationship, there really aren't a great many things you could list which would give a worse impression in that area.
Short of listing 'doing hot guys' , there's very little else you can say which'll make you seem less like relationship-material... | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:21:28 AM | I agree....the best thing you could do would be to write back and tell him that you did not realize that your profile was coming across that way to the opposite sex. Thank him for his point of view and tell him that you are changing your profile to reflect more of who you are and what you are looking for.
You need to be mature about the situation, either move on or thank him for his insight. A witty retort is only childish and will affirm any accusations he made towards you in his original email. I don't think this is about "respect" as you claim as much as it is about being rejected.
He did nothing wrong and at least he responded....which is the biggest complaint most people have..."why can't people just be honest and at least respond!!!"...so he responded...he just didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:35:52 AM | I think you are making way too much of this. Perhaps this guy has been through a bad relationship were heavy drinking and “girls nights out” became an issue and now sees those red flags in you (or your profile). Real or perceived is irrelevant, if you feel it is a misrepresentation of you maybe you should consider editing your profile.
You would be better served doing something productive that occupying yourself with last words and pissing contests.
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:53:18 PM |
Lady, he's not interested in you, that doesn't make him a jerk. Just move on.
Well said HulaZombie
As many point out here, what you need is an attitude adjustment, not a retort. The vindictive attitude of your original post speaks volumes, and not in a good way -
a classic case of "hell hath no fury..." | |
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| I need a witty retort!!!
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:33:36 PM | | OP, listen to what others are telling you. Your sour grapes attitude is not going to help you. If you show your bitterness towards others you are just showing how undateable you are and if you are that bad over one simple blow off no one in their right mind is going to want to see you when you have been in a relationship for weeks or months and something bothers you. Sorry to be a little rough but grow up and move on! | |
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