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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 1:04:32 AM | | As a 'younger male', who is arguably seeing an 'older woman', I have no idea what some people are talking about. In general, I suspect that a lot of the people who are not 'younger males' in this thread, particulary some of the women have no idea what they are on about. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 1:29:00 AM | | The reason is that most older women are "easy" for younger men. When I was in my early 20's I had a sexual encounter with a few older women & realized very quickly that as a woman became older, her sex drive increased, she became sexually freakier, was intrigued & aroused by my younger tighter body, wasn't as eager to have children as a younger woman would, and was more knowlegeable about birth control methods other than condoms (which is as exciting as touching satin sheets with a glove on your hands), and her nurturing spirit was eager & patient enough to teach me various sexual positions that turned her on. Therefore older woman were easier sexual targets for me at that time. What more could a young inexperienced man ask for. The only problem was that I didn't want any of my friends to know of my secret sexual endeavors, so I didn't want to be seen in public with someone old enough to be my aunt. It's a guy's ego thing. I looked out of place with her & it slowed my chances of being with someone my own age that I may have really, wholeheartedly desired. So most older women wind up being booty calls or short lived flings taken from the chapters of a Harlequin romance novel for younger guys in the long run. | |
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4rum
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Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 129 | |
| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:11:00 AM | The pros and cons of such relationships are all of the above posts.
As an older woman, I wouldn't 'target' a younger age bracket though...did you think about breaking the cycle and going out with a man for who he is and not his age? | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:40:54 AM | so guys, what gives? why will you f*ck and get all freaky with an older woman, but not consider her for a dating or long-term relationship? we get your rocks off, so why not take it to the next level?
CURLZ.... I know that you have seen me (posting) in action, and that I will treat you with respect. I also feel like you are aware of my fondness of provocative topics, lol. Please accept my respect for you ahead of the question, since....
I'm eight years older than you, and have had relationships spanning years with women(2) that were as much older than I as I am older than you. Let's flip this question, give some duality to it, and see if we can't get some really mature responses here. We know the young'uns like to kick it, hell, they aren't telling us anything. We've been there, done that, and need a custom closet for the damn tee-shirts.
I am fit and youthful, and I like younger women, provided they exhibit some promise as a personality- I really can't get it up for a warm body with an empty cranial cavity, but we all know there are some folks older than you and I both, that handle themselves and their affairs less efficiently than some 20 year olds. Let's put unisex credit to the test here, get gutsy, and pour it out on all sides.
Let's get some real and diverse(18-80)mature opinions in here. Maturity at any age knows we can just diss the wannabees outta her in a flick, so I doubt they'd bother. I'd like to see this one ROCK. You have asked one of the bestest damn questions I've seen, and I'm standin' next to you waiting for some equally impressive answers.
Regards.... -Nomad- | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:57:02 AM | Sure there is always exception. But the vast majority is not in it for a relationship. Ask yourself honestly, what kind of relationship did you really have with these younger men? What level of commitment was involved?
Many of my relationships with younger men were more than just sex although the sex was great. LOL. I did a lot of things with these men whether it was going to sporting events, concerts, weekend trips etc. As I stated earlier, I know that there are a fair amount of younger men that are only looking for sex with an older women. But there are also a fair amount of men around my age or older that are also only looking for sex.
SINCE I JUST STIRRED IT UP in the last post, I want to credit the two older(7 and 8 years, respectively) women in my life with first, validating me sexually as a man. I brought some good stuff to the table that they likely wanted in the first place- I was the younger man featured in the OP, for all intensive purposes. That they enjoyed me, and I them, in a physical sense is a fairly moot point. These women both saw something more in me than just a good, and good-looking lay, or notch on their belts. They saw something in me that I didn't see in myself at the time, and I owe it to the two of them that they gave me skills, and contributed to my life in immeasurable and non-financial ways, that have strengthened me, and enabled me to excel upon my OWN merits.
This might be the tip of the iceberg in the cougar arena... Fact is, I'm getting older, and I'm not a perv, but I have to admit as a man that I like the freshness of a younger woman. That may seem extremely contradictive in light of what I stated previously, but I love women in general, and have a good repoire with most that I meet. I should say that i neither screw, or WANT to screw 99% of the women I meet. Not that they are not pretty enough, or whatever, but I am not wired to use people for my own gain or gratification, and given how damned unacceptable that is to me, I'd venture that I don't normally come off as wanting in the pants. Probably miss some fun because I don't come off as Mr. Grabass BillyBoyBad-ass. Now, I'm ALL man, and I have damn sure come off that way to some that turned me on- we all, men and women alike, know how that can work for both of us when the primal, animal timing's right, lol... I'm on the ground here, not on a soapbox. I'd just rather see all of us get honest and dispel the myths we hold about each other, than to keep (on some sites) paying $29.95 a damn month just to WINK at each other!!!
-Nomad-  | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:21:31 AM | why do younger men want older women, kind of a leading qustion whether its to get attention or an actual question tho . seeing as i was young man and dated a much older woman when i was 25 i found her much better at manipulating the situation and entrapping a person , they have humped alot of people in the time it takes them to land the younger guy so they have alot more experience in all areas of life, as opposed to the younger person, this goes for the older man younger woman stuation as well.
the real question tho should be, why do older women/men want younger less experienced partners? most likely because people their own age already know the signs of manipulation and the are well aware of the games they play , so they are less likely to land someone their own age
the older/younger relationship is usually all about a feeling of control, just another manipulation tactic that gets some people more arroused
either way tho in the end, everyone gets laid, they laff they cry then they hit the bricks ............. next................... | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:25:49 AM | I don't know why, but I'm just not attracted to younger men...even men by 5 years younger just seem too...I don't know...nubile???? (not the best word I guess, but fairly apt). Men too much older too, it just doesn't feel right to me!!! Everybody is different, and maybe in the right circumstances I may see things differently. For me....3 or 4 years either way is my general comfort zone, but there are always exceptions.
Not really a direct answer to the posted question, but a comment on the feel the thread has taken! | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:40:22 AM | I don't know why, but I'm just not attracted to younger men...even men by 5 years younger just seem too...I don't know...nubile????
SANCHEZZZ... You just ventured ont ground that is spooky for we menfolk, and I laud you for it. Even braver is that you used the ord, "nubile".
While I would venture to say that a healthy man isn't necessarilliy looking for that degree of "freshness"- c'mon- that's getting into the pervy place, and the fact is, MOST of us aren't like THAT!!! By the same token the laws of natural selection dictate the breeding of the fittest, for the survival of the fittest. Men are WIRED to go for the youthful, healthy females.
TRUBBLE... Fact is, I wasn't necessarily drawn to my older loves by their physique, though both of them were youthful in body and mind. Lots of merit in your field. Yes, they were really sexy as hell, but they were also able to exert som control over me that younger women couldn't. Must be we get trapped between our idea of a traditional relationship with a woman, but it gets a bit tainted(not in a bad way...) with our values of respect that we associate with our mothers. Yet, a woman not much older than us can be kinda sexy in the way of a hot teacher or baby-sitter- We still listen to them because we are "wired" in that configuration, but they are not as materal to us as are our mothers, and so they remain viable to us as partners. Ain't that some weird damn psychology, but don't we all know it to be true?
I dunno... Love the one you're with?
-Nomad- | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:32:11 AM | It might have been said already, you used the word love, does it truly exist between the age differences, in most cases of course where you can see it. We are all adults here and I would think most of us would understand these types of situations/romances/ wants and needs.
But what age differences are we able to expand on/with. Is that really the common denominator (age) in any relationship, it is surely one ,but is it one of the contributing factors for most relationships not lasting. I t is easier said than done. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:35:58 AM | I actually had a relationship with a lady 12 years older than me for ver 18 months, and the reason we split was not to do with the age gap.
I find women my age and older easier to get on with than women younger, but that's just my experience.  | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:46:06 AM | Again off the thread question ............. I believe people come into our lives for a reason......as nomad said they offered more than just sex to him. The older woman may need the attention of the younger man and the younger man may need the attention of the older woman ...........I also believe we subconsciously attract what we need.................. I believe age is relative to the individual  | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:27:45 AM | I used to date women my age all the time during my 20's. In fact the only time I deviated was when I met a lady who was married (early 30s) and a shameless flirt. Nothing serious ever happened but it was her unabashed nature that stirred some interest in me. I was 22 at the time. But that aside I never really felt I was missing out by not dating much much older women.
Nowadays at 31 I seem to have turned a new leaf. Where once upon a time I'd date same age women, I have steadily dated younger and younger girls. Primarily because as Ive hit the 30s mark I notice alot of women growing more and more impatient when it comes to tying the knot. Almost to the point of overlooking basic relationship dynamics for opting to focus if Im good father material or not. Thats all well and good but it detracts so much from the getting to know you part, you cant help but feel like your at a meatmarket or sperm bank lol! I try not to be judgemental but when an older lady (eg 34 as crazycurlz is) approaches me with a strong agenda to marry & procreate, it kind of kills the chemistry somewhat and the romance takes a step back.
It also doesnt help that some (not all) older women have quite abit of resentment for guys who waste their time. What they call timewasting I call getting acquainted, but it seems they are far less patient than me, and usually that vibrant bubbly exterior is replaced with a more jaded knowitall demeanour. And yeh alot of younger men might find that sexy, but I like to gravitate around girls younger than me that continue to have that zest for life and unfettered freshness that keeps me interested in them.
So all in all if men don't want to date you, its nothing personal maybe just the way your approaching the situation. And also men tend to like a younger girl when thinking about a longer term situation if say he plans to have kids 5-8 yrs later. Otherwise from my experience I cant think of why younger men would just use you for the physical side of things only. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:45:46 AM | I'm 31. I would date an older woman within reason such as woman in her late 30s or early 40s. However I wouldn't have a LTR with a woman who is around 50 yrs old or older. It's not because I would be only looking for sex. A very large age difference might not be a factor in the immediate future. But it could eventually become a factor in a LTR.
there are a fair amount of younger men that are only looking for sex with an older women. But there are also a fair amount of men around my age or older that are also only looking for sex.
I agree. I think many men and women ( regardless of age ) are looking for casual sex. Also in some cases, it is the older woman who is using the younger man for sex. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:58:21 PM | | For the one thing is they can find an older woman a bit intinidating. She tends to be knowledgeable than they are. Which often scare them off compounded that they are worried about what thier friends and familly will think. But they don't know what they are missing from an LTR with an older woman. For one reason they will not leave whn they hit a bump in the road. They wil try and work it out. Second they don't act as self centered as younger girls do. Plus they know what they want and don't mind being a little agressive. Where younger girls will play hard to get to see how far you'll go to catch them. Then they wonder why they lose out on the guy they like. Plus and lder woman will pick up the check sometimes( at least in my experinces). Youger like to see how much a guy will spend on them. To me these reasons far outweigh what your friends and family will think. That's why I date women older than me. Plus they are way funner than ones younger than me. Besides you really don't know how they will react until they meet a person. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:05:50 PM | To the OP:
You are not old enough to qualify as an "older woman". In guy world, a woman cannot possibly be fetishized into the "older woman" role until she cracks past 40.
Even when I was 20-25, I could take one look at you and never ever plug you into the older woman job. When I wanted an older woman, I wanted someone only slightly younger than my mom! You'd just remind me of my older sister, which is somehow waaay creepier than reminding me of my mom.
On the upside, though, those curls would have gotten you in the door no questions asked. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:13:30 PM | I just hit 30 myself, and over the last several weeks I've been more interested in the older women, as my profile elaborates on.
I would date someone much older than I, and even marry if that was one of their desires. The profiles that I have been browsing, a large majority of them have already been married and divorced, so many may not be looking to jump into another one. That's fine with me, as I haven't decided if I want to marry, but for the right woman, I would.
I would without hesitation date a woman 40-45 years of age. For the right woman, who knows, the sky is the limit. While we have as yet not had much opportunity to get to know each other, I have had two wonderful multi-hour phone conversations with one woman who is older than that above mentioned age range.
I have come across a lot of incredibly attractive older women (and I'm talking about the 50+ age range). | |
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| all my men are at least 10 years younger...
Posted: 5/24/2008 3:21:08 PM | i'm not bragging i'm probably just immature...
but guys my own age are into taking themselves too seriously, casting blame on their exes (why can't they just admit that love is strange and makes the best person a fool sometimes?) and trying to get you to rake the leaves or babysit their kids (which is fine if the man is a real father and doesn't allow his children to verbally abuse guests....no balls....sorry but whatever...)
I'm not interested! Quit ****ing all these idiots on dating websites! you're too good-looking for that anyways. you've been on this site too long.
i was communicating with a cute guy on this dating website and all of a sudden i would have thought i was dealing with mother theresa! Such self righteousness and priggishness...makes you wonder if they aren't just amusing themselves behind their women's backs...
if all your messages are deleted as soon as read, the guys obviously anal retentive or cheating on somebody
don't fall for their blather. meet them in person - if they won't meet - they're phoney baloney!
that's for you, fackoff! | |
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| all my men are at least 10 years younger...
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:08:15 AM | There are some stupid male attitudes on here about older women, such as:
A) She is only using the younger man for sex.
B) She goes out with them to manipulate them.
Maybe she is young-at-heart or just likes the look of them. It doesnt have to be sinister! | |
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| all my men are at least 10 years younger...
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:25:06 AM | There are some stupid male attitudes on here about older women, such as:
A) She is only using the younger man for sex.
B) She goes out with them to manipulate them.
These things do apply to some ( not all ) older women who date younger men. Just like there are some younger men who will use an older woman for sex or a mommy figure. There are also older women who are generally more compatible with younger men or vice versa. | |
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| Why do younger men love older women, but rarely *date* them?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:20:57 PM | This thread has been a rather humorous read. Lots of bashing from both sexes. But most of those basher's are long gone. I was going to address some of there comments but too "old" lol to worry bout. I'm talking about the age of the post not the person lol.
But anyways the answer is simple the same reason younger women want older guys for experience and maturity. Most just for the sexual experience not so much life experience. I'd probably never date anyone too much older than me. When I was in my 20's I wanted a woman in her 30's because of the no games. But now that I'm in my 30's myself I want the same people. I want a woman in her 30's as well for the reasons stated above. Now that doesn't mean I wouldn't date anyone in there 20's because there is always "diamonds in the rough" per say.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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