| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/2/2007 11:59:02 PM |
if i remember correctly not too long ago guys didnt message a girl saying she had nice t!ts
No, he wined her and dined her and then expected her to sleep with him! Welcome to the wonderful world of internet dating, where the relative anonymity seems to make some people feel that manners are no longer necessary. But that's ok......it helps us weed out the jerks quicker! | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:59:38 AM | Romance is not dead.
We are however being programmed to more selfish and to want to satisfy our own needs in the short term. Convenience based society.
I believe romance is inherent to some people's nature however. It's who you are and who you're with. It just depends on the connection. I'm romantic by nature but I have dated some girls and not really been into while others I was.
I find as I get older people have more baggage in general. If I do something cute or sweet just to make them feel good or to see them smile which makes ME happy, they are suspicious and think I want something in return. That is not the case. Being a giver, it pleases me to please someone I date.
That being said it can't be all one way, lol, done that, doesn't work, lol. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:32:37 AM |
i like tossing their salads as well.
Okay, now I am actually going to puke that I have seen that written down...
There was the death blow, right there.  | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/3/2007 11:29:22 AM | I agree with thegregg and what he said.
I think it is a lack of manners more than a lack of romance in wondering if its dead. Too many people assume they can get away with things now because we're all "older" and going to be more willing. Hell no.
I think some of it depends as well, on what your definition of romance is. Everyone has their own definition of it, and how they percieve it. If some guy wants to wine and dine me, then say "woohoo! we're going to bed", so sorry dude, up until then, you had a chance down the road. Now you're going to be cuddling the empty wine bottle and thinking "damn, did it again".
Am I romantic? Yes. What is romance for me? Its about the gestures for me. The wanting to do something nice for me, not about the gifts, not about the sex, its the rest of it.  | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:56:48 PM | Romance
A glance
taking a chance
flying by the seat of your....
trowsers
Romance
almost dead
shake's his head
carefully tread
is that what she ......
spoke of?
Romance
unique
sometimes chic
look out for the .....
weirdos | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:05:46 PM | Is romance dead, not quite but if you demand it, I'm sure it will die lol. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/4/2007 11:48:44 AM | O K -- I peeked at your profile thinking maybe it was something on there and don't get the impression you are a jump into bed girl the cross around your neck should be a very big hint to say the least -- I am guessing that there is just a lot of jerks out there that really are not serious about getting into a relationship.
Best of luck
Al | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/4/2007 5:45:37 PM | I have noticed that "internet dating" takes a lot of the romance out of a new relationship. Especially with things like MSN and text messaging, where you can say what's on your mind without having to be there face to face.
I've found guys (and girls, both genders seem occasionally guilty of this!) tend to take "flirting" to the next level on the internet, which pretty much breaks down that wall of nervousness that surrounds an early-relationship date. Too many times I've felt cheated out of the "butterflies" you get in your stomach before a first kiss...the sweaty palms, the racing heartbeat...those things all become extinct with the wonders of the internet and the ability to "get comfortable" with one another before an actual meeting.
To combat this, I've made it very specific in my profile what I am looking for. Sure, since editing my profile and making it very specific, I no longer get floods of emails, but the few I do get are the kind I want. I actually just started "seeing" a guy, and true to my requests, he was a perfect gentleman, and didn't kiss me til the 3rd date. It was fantastic!
I think your best defense against the disappearance of romance is to initiate it, and make sure your potential partners know *exactly* what it is you are and are not looking for.
After all girls, we can't expect guys to read our minds, right?  | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/5/2007 9:28:27 PM | | Nah, romance is not dead. there are those of us who really enjoy making someone feel special. I remember hauling dozens of roses and balloons on a transit bus for my ex-girl in victoria once - man that was embarrassing, but really got a lot of awwwws from the people on the bus. If the girl is happy with her guy, sometimes thats enough to kick the guy into gear. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/5/2007 10:06:27 PM | most definitely not!
I love it when a man goes out of his way to do the 'romantic' thing... my fave music, some lit candles, delicious red sheets...
and the small every day gestures are yummy as well... opening the car door for me, filling my suv with gas, holding my hand after dinner while we just chat, waking up to find an email to wish me a good day...
its definitely not dead  | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/6/2007 11:11:21 AM | Romance is not dead.......recognizing it might be though! What is romantic for one may not seem like much to another. It is all in your own definition. My man is sooo romantic! When he smacks my butt and says "Lets get it on Babe....." melts a gal's heart!  | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/6/2007 11:35:47 AM | romance - that's something that guys don't want to do but they do it anyway to get girls to do something that they don't want to do.
The rudeness of online guys is a likely result of them seeking a certain goal in a manner that requires the smallest expenditure of effort. If ten sleazy comments to ten women results in nine women that are disgusted by you and one gives you her phone number - hey that's time well spent!
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/6/2007 12:48:02 PM | rawkkitty ^^^
You are still very young and obviously (hopefully for your own good) seeing guys your own age. Many men that age have not learned about romance, some never will and as obvious from previous posts some my age have lost it or never had it. Obviously all are formed by their experiences, character and inferiorities to deal with matters of the heart.
Take your time, stick to your values and you may find the exception you are looking for, knowing that most men your age are governed by peer pressure and a very small head in their lap, which btw . according to my sons is common thought amongst girls that age as well, call it exploration time.
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/8/2007 3:58:58 PM | its not dead just hard to come by...
most men were never brought up that way..
and i think when it comes down to it.. they only do it for the ones they really want...
the other times.. its just too much work and if theyre really not that into you then why would they bother...
Its sad...its so nice to do and recieve ... | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/8/2007 4:38:34 PM | i know romance isnt dead it cant be !!! but does anyone ever do it naturally with out seeming like they are trying romance is something that comes naturally goes with the flow of every relationship well at least i think it should  | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/8/2007 5:05:24 PM | Romance is definitely not dead. I gave my ex flowers at least once a week (she never really knew when they were coming even after our many years together) right up until she broke my heart. Don't worry, we are great friends already. Being romantic is really just a way of showing the person you care about that you think about her when she is not around. How can that ever die?
As for pressure, that is never cool. It makes for a crappy start to a relationship and usually for crappy sex, too.
Good luck
James
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/8/2007 5:09:10 PM |
most men were never brought up that way..
Gotta ask???? What does THAT mean?????  WHAT way???? Please do tell. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/8/2007 7:50:11 PM | | I am romantic man! I enjoy being proud of it. I have found that women lately dont want to give us guys an opportunity to be romantic and it is a real shame. As for it being dead no, because if you have what it takes it just does not go away. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/10/2007 12:45:03 AM | I don't if actual 'romance' is dead because it depends upons one's definition. I find that if I arrived home from work and found that my fellow had cleaned the house (even more thoroughly than usual) and then cooked me a fabulous meal - well, consider me "romanced" (swoons).
BYW Walt - if I am to remember correctly, from a prior post you made, you would be a 100% romantic in my eyes!
Cheers | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 7/11/2007 5:57:49 AM | Romance is not dead, unfortunately there are very few who believe someone they don't know yet deserves to be treated humanely. I have heard all to often about some boys (I won't say men because real men don't talk this way) asking a woman how she likes it in bed or what her favorite position is etc. etc. Ya know it does get tiresome and I wish these lowlifes were booted or tagged as "just looking for sex" on their profiles to help women weed them out so the rest of us men don't get the bad rep.
Honestly you seem like a smart woman who knows what she deserves and rightfully so, you have the smarts to ditch the boys on the wayside and not bother with them after the dumbarse coments they make at you and feel that you deserve to meet someone who knows how to treat you. Maybe you don't fit into the mold of "Flowers at the front door on a first date" but someone talking to you as a person , an equal with genuine interest in you who you are , a man who can make you feel comfortable and at ease to share good times with outside of a bedroom is most likely the one you're looking to meet.
They are out there and there are quite a few of them. Romance is what you see in someone and how they make you feel in return because when someone is romantic with you they are experiencing those same feelings with you. It is not the acts of giving or gallantry it once was but the genuine feeling that those acts represented in their time are romantic today.
A gentleman courting a woman would seranade her in old times with a song he wrote especially for her and it was romantic because it came from his heart and it was an expression of how he truly felt about her. I don't think all of those seranades were on key and chances are it didn't matter but I am sure for each woman who heard them that was in love with the man seranading her, she probably didn't care how on key he was. She was feeling it.
Never give up on romance because it is there and will always be there as part of courtship and falling in love, if someone is not accepting of romance that you meet then your probably looking for it in the wrong place. We all have it in us to be romantic but we sometimes fall into a stereotype of what romance is. There is no specific act or proof of romance one needs to do for the one they care for, it is something that makes you feel good inside for sharing something special with someone you want to be with more than anyone else. Saying someone is not accepting romance could mean they are not emotionally ready or they don't believe in love. It could also mean they are not capable of showing their feelings honestly and therefore are not sure how to be romantic.
I am romantic and I know how to make the one I want to be with feel like the only one in my world. Hopefully I am finding her.......
Today we have so many ways to express ourselves to someone , open your ears and hear the music even if its off key dear. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:47:54 PM | OP, as you state romantics are far and few between.
Read their profiles and you should be able to pick it up. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:17:15 PM | Romance is not "DEAD" its that most guys do'nt know how to be romantic towards weman.. Romance is an Art, and a PASSION one has. And to be honestly a lot of men and weman dont have that PASSION to give,and that the shame of it all..
Romance is out there you just have to be with the right person too experence it..Keep you head high and think positive and it will come to you.. | |
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| is romance dead?
Posted: 8/11/2007 8:24:05 AM | Romance comes from the heart
If the heart isn't into it, then romance is non-existent
We could take apart the term romance to many different meanings.. it could be as simple as a soft touch on the arm guiding the lady up a step or across the back to lead her thru a door
or as complex as wining and dining or a self-written poem professing feelings. However, all these different ways of showing romance still basically have the same principle.. to show he/she cares.
So perhaps he/she didnt romance you the way you thought romance was suppose to be but if that person did care for you at all.. im pretty sure you were romanced, and just didn't know it.
I do have to add that everyone is different and have different ways of expressing themselves that we may like or not like in which case the OP discovered. He had one idea and she had another. It doesn't mean anything of their character except that the folly of the incident is just the way the (dating) cookie crumbles
simply better luck next time | |
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