| |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:20:15 AM | | Her past is just that - HER past. I don't ask - it's not my place. I will, however, ask about her health and the last time she had an AIDS test. I do that without fail. If she gets offended - then the relationship, or would-be relationship ends right there. I didn't make it this far without an STD to get stupid now. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:34:36 PM | | I think it should be by the couple do what is comfortable. My ex had her big finish but now that I have been out again I just do what comes natural, Just like dating. The experience is about what ever works best. All people are different and as so are the sexual things. It is how you feel. Just nice to be dating and looking for the one who set's you over the edge. I want that girl tha I can't get enough of. Frank | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/28/2008 9:34:06 PM | Far as I'm concerned people can do what they want when it comes to sex, though excessive number of partners, off the one night kind does suggest an emotional problem.
But I feel if I was to have a relationship with someone I have the right to ask and they have with me (both having the right to refuse to answer), it gives you a good idea about how each person views sex.
Personally its not to do with the numbers but more to do with the context anyway. For example if I met a women of my age who had been with 10 sexual partners but all in LTR relationships she would be more compatible to me than another women who had, had 5 but all one nighters. I've had the opportunity to have one nighters way into double figures, several offers by couples to join them and have turned them all down as its not who I am and I'd like the same in a potential partner. Its my preference and how I feel about what sex should mean between two people and I'd like a partner to be similar to me.
As for this feeling its unfair that men can sleep around with lots of women and get called a stud yet women that do get called a slut. Personally I don't consider a guy like that a stud, I've never met a man that does think like that, its more often than not a more humorous thing rather than how men actually feel. But the reason men being called studs and women being called sluts will never change is simple and its something which seems most people completely ignore.
The only way a man can guarantee to get sex is to PAY for it. The only way a women can guarantee to get sex it too WANT it. Notice the difference there, I have... it comes down to the fact that a man who does sleep with a lot of women is doing something most men can't do while on the other hand a women who sleeps with a lot of men is doing something every women can do but decides against.
So where as the man achieving something the others can't gets a slap on the back from his mates, women will always be looked down on, as much by other women as men because they have decided to drop their knickers for anything that moves while most women are more selective and decide not to be that way.
If all women really dropped their standards and self worth then all women would be sleeping with loads of men and all men would be sleeping with lots of women, and there would no longer be studs or sluts. But people have self worth and because of that those that don't will be viewed differently. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/28/2008 10:05:33 PM | | NO not unless he/she decides to share it. I don't want to know all about other woman my man slept with. That's the past. | |
|
_dar_
|
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 331 | |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/28/2008 10:24:37 PM | id say nope.
now if the conversation comes up and you explain to her how many women youve been with and all that jazz, then if she freely likes to offer up that info its a giver. but if youre worried about any std's just ask if shes clean. end of story. tapping into that kind of history may not always provide you with the info you (or she) may want - or it can trigger any past emotions she may have had with some of them.
also if youve been together for awhile... who cares...should it matter?
im the same with guys. i wont ask unless its been brought up through conversation somehow or by someone , then i'll freely provide my answer if it boils down to it ... ive got nothing to hide. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/29/2008 12:11:10 AM | I had someone ask me, then get upset because I did not really want to ask her. She pushed the issue, then just volunteered a number. I play a bit of poker and kept a straight face, she then admitted the number was fallacy and nearly doubled it.
No real issue with it, even in her case where the number was about on par with her age, it was just a bit surprising. Generally speaking, I am just as happy not to know.
My only two concerns with their past are their current health and wether I can walk into a room, bar, pub, whatever and not have the majority of guys look us over and smirk because they knew they went there first. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/29/2008 3:43:13 AM | | I don't need to know how many but,if Im looking at a sexual relationship with her in any way,I would want to be certain she was healthy.It only takes a couple of minutes to get a few blood tests done...I don't think thats an unreasonable expectation for either one involved | |
|
| |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/29/2008 7:13:52 AM |
My only two concerns with their past are their current health and wether I can walk into a room, bar, pub, whatever and not have the majority of guys look us over and smirk because they knew they went there first.
One of my friends has just been diagnosed with HPV. She's apparently had it for a few years and it's only now just been diagnosed. Both her and the woman she acquired it from are now going through followup PAP tests as they've both had them comeback irregular and the possibility of future cervical cancer.
I've been in the situation of walking into the room as you put it. In my case, I got physically attacked by one of her ex lovers, the bouncer in the bar... Since then, I've met, 7 guys and 4 women she's had sex with. It's not a pleasant feeling. Especially when they were first introduced as 'friends'.
I think the problem with not knowing a person's sexual past, is that it can rise up and blindside you down the road.
Sure, if you're not into a long term relationship then it really doesn't matter as you can just move on, as many men do... | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/29/2008 8:06:30 AM | Wow what a thread.
It's not the quantity it's the quaility. If a person has taken many lovers it is most likely due to the quaility or lack there of.
Some of you guys out there don't give the ladies what they need so they must keep looking.
If we always did it right the first time we wouldn't need these threads for discussing what we want but don't know how to get. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/29/2008 8:29:12 AM | Personality I could care less about the sexual past of my partner,,(excluding health)..
We all have one,, to judge or not to judge,, expect the same in return.. However, if it is a topic of discussion, so be it,, I certainly will not lose sleep over it,, even If I did meet past lovers,, I still remain friends with many woman I have slept with,,
The focus is the present not the past,, he or she is with you now that is all that is important,, | |
|
| |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:58:19 AM | | If a girl is 30 and has been having sex since she was 16 theres prolly more than 10 men on that list. Most people will lie to you anyways. I dont ask i dont like to know. | |
|
| |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:09:14 AM | | Absolutely none of my business. The only exceptions would be any diseases or if she has a history of cheating. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:58:29 AM |
Say your just starting out in a relationship...
Do you think you have the right to know your partners sexual history? Ie. a Brief description of every guy shes slept with? Same question for the females...gender reversed.
In todays world? your damn right I do; and mine is hers. But going over every guy is pretty ridiculous. If you actually ask about every guy they you need to talk to someone about being jealous and controlling. Thats strange.
Some people actually make the other get a test for STD's before having sex. When you travel as much as I do and realize how sleazy people are in our society and how violent we are, its pretty depressing. Sleaze is in.
Young men in the U.S. are horndogs and will sleep with anything with a hole in it; they are a lost cause IMHO. But there is a trend in the u.s. for young women to be very sleazy for attentions and to also have lots of sexual partners and many times even unprotected sex.
There was a famous case back east where 3 high school girls stripped naked in front of the entire senior class at an outing on a table while the guys taped them. Eventually they were caught and punished but thats pretty sick. Girls gone wild makes millions for its owner with over 20,000 young women begging to be a part of it. Someones/parents are not teaching people class that is for sure.
The STD rate among teens in the U.S. is an amazing 25%, and 45% among African Americans. When they are adults they have had even more partners so the rate is higher.
Many people under 30 have lots of sex but they are clueless about it. Look at all of the young women with multiple kids because of unprotected sex. They also think its ok to have a bacterial STD because drugs can cure most of them. What they dont realize is that it can destroy and disfigure tissue, make having children dangerous and difficult with the damage, and that it can cause other virus to grow when they take their medications.
Yes, I want to know if they've been promiscuous, just as I'll be open about my life if it gets serious. I dont want someone who has had a lot of hands on her being with me. Its too risky and its not worth it. I've been careful and responsible with my life, I dont want to pay for others poor decisions. | |
|
| |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:40:34 PM | I don't ask the questions that I don't really want an answer to. If he is the right man for me, it wouldn't matter if I was number 1 or number 22... he's with me and that's all that should matter. The previous 21 (or more) are in the past for one reason or another.
To answer the question, do you have a right to know -- NO. If you choose to ask, make sure you can handle the answer. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:00:56 PM | | I sure hope not... You can pretty much tell someone's sexual past when you sleep with them. If they are freaked out when yo put your tongue in their ass, then you know that is probably a new thing. IF they teach you something new, you know they've done more. Actually, it doesn't take a bunch of people to teach someone how to be a good lover. Just one good lover... damn, wouldn't hate to have ahold of him right now, lol | |
|
| |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:54:58 PM | I made the mistake of answering all of those questions with one ex and I doubt I ever would again.
I never would have brought any of it up had he not asked but it started with questions about numbers, then who did what, which guy was the best, what in particular did he do best, etc.
End result was he could never get past his insecurities no matter how often I reassured him (and he really was great, I wouldnt lie about that).
It was like every single time we had sex, he would compare himself with every other guy which only resulted in him becoming even more insecure. | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:34:50 PM | | MSG 10 where on earth did you come up with the idea that someone is more likely to be unfaithful if they have slept with more that 10 my best friend married an ex hooker and they have the most wonderful relationship | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:47:32 PM | | just a point to consider if your SO had been with a number of other men isn't that a pat on the back for you. If I walked into a bar and mine had been with a couple of other guys I would say eat your heart out guys, yep I am the best | |
|
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:57:12 PM | | No - and becuase I am picky with who interests me, trusting her when she says shes clean wouldent be an issue. | |
|
Home
login 
