| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 2/28/2009 8:10:14 PM | | Her sexual past.....her business, Your sexual past.....your business. Don't ask, don't tell. I can't see any good coming out of it. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 2/28/2009 8:16:24 PM | | I don't think you need details, just as I would not want to hear details of former lovers. However, I really believe it is important to talk about STDs and things like that before you become intimate. I also think you should talk about and discuss an unplanned pregnancy and see where both of you stand on that issue before progressing. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:22:54 PM | | You can ask if you want. She can tell if she wants. That goes for pretty much anything, not just sexual histories. You don't have to stay with her if you don't like her choice. That's your option. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 8:56:37 AM | | Yes it is something that should be shared. Many people share so many other meaningless and unimportant facts about themselves and also their past, so why something that could have a crucial impact on future behaviour be shared? It also helps deal with the issue of sexual health. Many partners indicates a possible reluctance to commit, or could show they have poor morals and sleep around with anyone. The fact is that if you are not able to talk about something like that, it shows you are somewhat ashamed with your choices, or lack of them. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 9:00:55 AM | | If you're dating and are having sex then stick to just asking when was the last time they were tested. If you're talking about a relationship then ask away but remember she has the right to not answer. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 10:32:54 AM | | No. All you have the right to is knowing when the person was last tested and wanting proof of a clean bill of health. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 1:06:11 PM | | There is truth in that. If you have nothing to hide, and haven't shown poor judgment and morals in the past, you would have no problem revealing your history. The reason these guys and girls are afraid to share their history is because they have done something that deep down they know is questionable at the least, and most likely wrong and sluttish. | |
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hcryan
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Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 460 | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:00:33 PM |
Her sexual past came up in conversation. Ive been with one and she has been with something arround 5. Im having a hard time getting over this. I know its none of my business what she did before I met her, and that compared with other people on this site 5 is on the low side. But its bothering me quite a bit and I cant stop thinking about it. I feel kind of like somone took my sportscar out for a joy ride, even though it wasnt my car at the time, its my car now.
Man, first of all, you have to accept that you bought a used car. Of course someone else has driven it. You're used, too, now. Just not as much. It's not really a big deal.
Remove yourself from the situation for a moment, and look at it logically. Is she still sleeping with these guys? No? Do you enjoy being with her? Yes? Then what's to debate? Just focus on how much you enjoy being with her and ignore everything else. Your only other option is to just drop her completely and move on. Sitting there obsessing about it will do nothing but drive you crazy and ultimately cause her to leave you.
You don't want that sportscar to say, "Hell with this!" and drive away on its own while you're sitting there fretting about how many miles are on it.
There is truth in that. If you have nothing to hide, and haven't shown poor judgment and morals in the past, you would have no problem revealing your history. The reason these guys and girls are afraid to share their history is because they have done something that deep down they know is questionable at the least, and most likely wrong and sluttish.
Sluttish is subjective. Some people consider not being a virgin to be sluttish.
Personally, I find the whole concept of labeling people sluts to be stupid. It all comes down to people just looking for excuses to judge and belittle others for not sharing their same views. Different strokes for different folks. Get over it.
Having sex with 200 people doesn't make you any better or any worse than someone who wants to remain a virgin until they are married.
Personally, I don't really care how many people someone I'm with has slept with. All I want to know is that they're clean and that I'm the only person they're currently sleeping with if we're being monogamous. Anything else is irrelevant. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:12:31 PM | | 19 threads for a simple..... NO! It's not your business or mine. If you like to discuss it (which you don't wanna) Be prepared if your not mature. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:58:43 PM | Having sex with 200 people doesn't make you any better or any worse than someone who wants to remain a virgin until they are married.
Funny though, having one drink here and there through your life is one thing, drink to excess, you're an alcoholic.... and once you're an alcoholic, even if you stop drinking you're still considered an alcoholic for the rest of your life....
All I want to know is that they're clean
So, you'd be ok if she was clean now, but had an STD or two in the past?
Or, perhaps, you'd be ok, if she was infertile from a past STD that was left untreated too long? Or she had other side effects?
And I assume then you'd be ok if she say, slept with a buddy or family member... or even group of them before you met her....? | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/3/2009 9:48:28 PM | Re-read my statement. I believe I answered that already. As long as she is clean, I do not care. Having an STD in the past is not relevant if she's clean now. As for infertility, that's actually preferable at this point. I don't want any more kids, and not having to worry about impregnating somebody is a good thing right now.
As for sleeping with friends or family, if it happened before I met her, I can't very well be mad about it now can I? Holding someone responsible for something they did before you met them is like prosecuting someone for doing something that was legal at the time they did it but was later criminalized after the fact. There are no logical grounds for it.
I'm not sure how the alcoholic reference is supposed to tie in. What's your point there? | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 12:21:27 AM |
Funny though, having one drink here and there through your life is one thing, drink to excess, you're an alcoholic.... and once you're an alcoholic, even if you stop drinking you're still considered an alcoholic for the rest of your life....
Just to continue with your inappropriate analogies, you inhale and exhale thousands of times each day, yet no one considers you a breathaholic. Stop being logically challenged. Argument by analogy is logical fallacy. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 12:40:40 AM | If you're trying to say that getting drunk is akin to breathing then you sir might need some AA meetings...
His analogy was sound. I wouldn't date a pornstar expecting her to be mine and mine alone.
I wouldn't date a bar star thinkin she's only had sex with a few hundred guys and i'll be the last one.
If I dated one, I probably wouldn't think about it at all, but I would probably be none to surprised if the worst happened. By worst, I do mean listening to your inappropriate analogy of how inappropriate m_church's analogy was. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 4:04:07 AM |
His analogy was sound. I wouldn't date a pornstar expecting her to be mine and mine alone.
Argument by analogy is always a fallacious argument because an analogy is exactly that - an analogy, not the argument. I would think that this is obvious, especially when the analogy is specifically chosen to reflect the bias of the person using it. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 11:07:35 AM | If she isn't in agreement about my desire to be exclusive, yes. But then I shouldn't be dating her.
Also, if she has VD, yes. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 12:02:35 PM | I dont think what you've done should matter and that people need to know.
Its the past and shouldnt count for anything. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 12:59:16 PM | | Not really unless she tells you it doesn't matter. As long as I am sexually satisfied, I don't really care unless we are having a convo about the past and it just comes up. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 2:38:49 PM | Our past is just what it says,
If you are becoming exclusive & the subject arrises. Be honest.
There should be no numbers game. either Neither of you were a part of eachothers lives before.Tell about your history before it comes out.
A woman my age who is still single shouldnt be looked at like a slut if she was with more than 10 men in her life.I have had 4 long term relationships in the couse of life.
This just wouldnt be fair.Men on average sleep with 100 women in their lives , & some.Tell the truth men. What makes them so much better, & for it to be ok "
"well he is a Man" what the he l l is that.I feel whats good for you Is just as good for me. . Who made you Men Kings.
If you are clean & free of std's then no one should judge you.at all.
Experience is always helpful.the married men go around complaining there wives are frumps in bed huh?? you mean still all this time?????Give me a break
Be fair to each other if you care enough about one another.
where either of you have been doesnt have any bearing on the 2 of you now.
Make the best of your lifes.
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 3:37:51 PM |
His analogy was sound. I wouldn't date a pornstar expecting her to be mine and mine alone.
Ah, okay I get it now. So it's supposed to mean, "Once a slut, always a slut?"
The huge gaping hole in that logic is that I don't consider anyone a slut. So that really has no meaning to me.
Sheep, I think you're confusing having had many sexual partners with a propensity for cheating. Those are two entirely different issues and really aren't related. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 4:05:35 PM |
Men on average sleep with 100 women in their lives , & some.Tell the truth men.
Really??????????????
That means I have dozens ahead of me yet! Wow! Wooo woooo! Show me the reports on how many women the "average" guy has slept with to back it up....
While you're at it... dig up how many men the 'average' woman has slept with....
Or are you one of those people who make up 'statistics' because they sound good? You know, " 76% of statistics are made up on the spot....
Most of my male friends have probably slept with less than 10 women.... even if they doubled it by the time they die... that's still only 20....
So we're supposed to be happy if a woman slept with dozens or hundreds because some other guys slept with over a hundred women????????????????
In other words, because a guy holds to a higher standard, he's supposed to accept a lower standard in the person he wants to spend his life with.... Great plan to foster respect there.....
Experience is always helpful.the married men go around complaining there wives are frumps in bed huh?? you mean still all this time?????Give me a break
Sorry, some of those frumps in bed had lots of partners too...
In fact, some of the better women I've met had fewer partners.... they weren't jaded and thinking that "Well, this worked for the last 30+ guys it should work for you too..., so it's YOUR fault...."
Number of partners means nothing towards ability or enthusiasm in bed....
If a woman's past was filled with a lot of guys who didn't treat her well, she might not be comfortable with anyone afterwards.... she may even hate sex....
And a lot of guys have been told by women in bed, "Oh I don't do that because I had bad experience with it in the past...."
Nice, find out your wife or girlfriend doesn't want to do a particular sex act with YOU ever, because some other guy(s) made her hate it....
Remember, bad habits are harder to unlearn than it is to learn a new one.... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 3/4/2009 4:18:26 PM |
"Once a slut, always a slut"
I think that's exactly what he meant to say. Of course, nobody seems to say "once faithful always faithful". I mean, I was monogamous and faithful for 12 years. I am currently enjoying being an unrepentant "slut". So, am I always faithful or am I always a slut? Why? The truth is, my word is my bond so if I promise someone sexual exclusivity, they can be assured that's what I would give them. Of course, I have no intention of promising anyone that anytime soon if ever so make of that what you will. | |
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