| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:26:20 PM | | yea..but it's different for men... Like we are taught that it's an accomplishment to have slept with alot of women... Breaking that train of thought was hard for me and I'm proud of who I am now. Why would I want to regress by being with someone who might not be on the same level? Likewise, i have met women who found out how many women I've been with and they didn't want anything to do with me. I take responisibility for my actions. It takes more of a man to own up to his mistakes than it does to run away from them. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:43:20 PM | See how does one not get curious about how many? I have only been with 2 partners and I am 30, most would say I was inexperienced but I was married for almost 12 years LOL But personally speaking I don't want to be with a guy that's been with over 100, but any less than 10 makes me feel like I am too be put in the role of teacher... does that make sense? LOL *cheeky grin*
Emmy | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:46:43 PM | Lol I couldnt care less past is past not interested and Im sure she wouldnt be in rehashing it either.
JC | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:53:56 PM | | I disagree. I think that even though the past can be painful. It can bring two people closer to know that they accept eachothers pasts. Like they say, How can we be lover's if we can't be friends. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:02:42 PM |
well.. considering i've been with over 60 women, she wouldn't think that it was a big deal if she was with say 25 men.
Thats more then your fingers and toes combind.
I'm sorry I just had to. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:05:28 PM | | well...if we;re talking numbers...i dont want to know...but if she had like a gang bang with 6 other guys I think realtionship over... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:08:54 PM |
Ie. a Brief description of every guy shes slept with?
Wow... that sounds like boring/awkward conversation. If I ever write a movie of let's say four weddings and one funeral, I'll have to write that into the dialogue...
Otherwise, I don't particularly want to know unless a particular event causes the comment. For example, let's say you are in the elevator with a SO. It breaks down and she says, "You know I haven't done it in an elevator since..."
Sadly, every elevator I have ever been on has been fully functioning.  | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:18:03 PM | I've asked others and been asked myself.
I don't find it intrusive, in fact, it's a good ice breaker to get a feel for what they may like during. If you lead into that after you hear a bit about their past so that the first time isn't as awkward. That's how I found out one of my exes didn't like 3-somes with 2 women because of feeling left out in one. That gave me the chance to share that I wasn't into 3-somes at all so yayyy sharing. Neither one of us expected it out of each other after that. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:59:49 PM | | A male friend of mine told me that all men and women lie about the number of people they have been with. To get the real answer you have to times the womans answer by 3 and divide the mans answer by 3 and you get the real answer. I gave it a try and he was right. I used to tell people I have slept with 5 men. 5x3=15 real answer exactly. Wow. I tried listing them and couldn't remember the names of 4 of them. I would want to know the number of females my partner was with but don't care for a description of every girl he's been with. Other than did he ever had a threesome? What's the craziest thing he did sexually? | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 10:41:51 PM | someone said: "have the right to ask anything. It's a free country and if i want to know how many people a women who i am considering sexual activity with, has been with, then i am entitled to know. If she doesn't want to tell me then i Will take that as she has something to hide and is ashamed."
YIKES! Good like finding a woman to respect that attitude, even on this site! | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/2/2007 11:52:22 PM | well.. considering i've been with over 60 women, she wouldn't think that it was a big deal if she was with say 25 men. But if she has, then i wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her.
I disagree. I think that even though the past can be painful. It can bring two people closer to know that they accept eachothers pasts. Like they say, How can we be lover's if we can't be friends.
So what you are saying is you expect to be forgiven for your past misdemeanors of sleeeping with 60 women but you won't forgive her if she has slept with more than 10 men.. Jeesh.... who's the slut here????? To all the guys who think the double standard is dead and buried make sure you take note of this fools posts.... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:41:59 AM | Ditto
Thank you
and i would add ... our past has nothing to do with who we are now other than giving us a bases for knowing what the world is about... the girl in school that slept with everyone has looked for happiness in that area and knows its not there .... just because she did the football team ....dosent mean she would again ...wake up thy hypocrites i have heard it said many times on here ...once a cheater always a cheater .... that is simply not true ... people grow up (some of them) people do things that they truly regret ...people change and once you make a change the person you were is dead , gone ,past once you say my life is not working and you change it ...if the change comes from the heart then you have a new life ....when society punishes someone for their past mistakes they may not learn from the past .....when we punish our selves for our own past mistakes we always learn from them....I have found that I have no right to judge another person .... i have a past and whether it is better or worse than someone else's past is irrelevant .... because if i had been their shoes who can say I would not have screwed up more than they did... as for the ops question IF it would make a difference then i wouldnt want to know | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:51:05 AM | I don't want to know and you don't need to ask, you probably wont like the answer anyway.
I say its all past. The only thing I'd need to know is if you have an STD thank you.
I'd rather not share my past experiences because they were past and gone.. it doesn't matter, what matters is who I'm with at the moment you know? | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:53:51 AM | -Vagabond wrote
"Say your just starting out in a relationship...
Do you think you have the right to know your partners sexual history? Ie. a Brief description of every guy shes slept with? Same question for the females...gender reversed."
ABSOLUTELY - and I don't care if the others out there want to hide their past... if you have a disease, it is wrong to do!
I gotta step in here and disagree with giddymonkey
People -
You *DO* have a right to know things - wether or not your partner likes having to account for their past, or wants to talk about it. They can get over it if they get mad, gotta be mature and not be 12 years old about this kinda thing - STD's are serious.
I spoke with my doc about this same topic after a *crazy* ex. She (the ex) wound up relapsing back on drugs and shooting heroin behind my back just before we broke up.
A few months after we broke up, she tried luring me into the booty call thing - but I could sense something was up. When I said no - she went on to tell me she got herpes after we broke up. Now how crappy is that? Not talk to someone for 2 months and have sex with them without care of passing on an STD?
My doc was extremely concerned at the situation and advised me to openly discuss these kinds of things with future partners. And that's my stance. If she doesn't like it - that's fine. She'll get over it or I'll find someone with some maturity to talk about it.
We live in a crazy world today. And there is *nothing* wrong with being cautious.
How much detail your partner gets into about their past partners - that is another story. But they should be honest about being tested regularly, birth control methods, and the rest.
Being honest and truthful is important - I am with her when she asks me. I usually do the asking though.
But that's the beauty of a close relationship, people can talk about these things without fears.
Don't be afraid to ask - you do have a right to know.
my 2c
happy fishing
-max | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:54:28 AM | OP..... sexual history as in numbers, contact with STDs, other infections such as transmissable yeast (some women have them constantly). Brief description, no no no no no........ thats too personal and not relevant.
In this day and age where STDS can render a person infertile or even terminally ill I think more of us should ask questions. I disclose, have had a few walk away not wanting to take the risk (because of my high numbers) and I can honestly respect them for that. Each person should have enough information to make the decision that si comfortable to them. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:08:49 AM | So what you are saying is you expect to be forgiven for your past misdemeanors of sleeeping with 60 women but you won't forgive her if she has slept with more than 10 men.. Jeesh.... who's the slut here????? To all the guys who think the double standard is dead and buried make sure you take note of this fools posts....
Of course the double standard isn't dead. And it's futile to complain about it because there's nothing you can do. That's life. Men deal with a million double standards that aren't in our favour so get over it. You don't hear us sounding an alarm every time we encounter one. Well maybe from some of the weaker willed individuals who can't cope with reality. It is my choice and my right to decide who I want to be with. If a woman doesn't forgive me for it, then so be it. That's life. I'm already over it | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:23:12 AM | The numbers shouldn't matter......i'd be more interested in whether they were always faithful....then again, you wont necessarily get the truth if you ask!!
Nicki x | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:51:17 AM | | no double standards will probably always be around but they are wrong and every time i see one discussed i will take a shot at it .... i may not kill them off but i refuse to accept them and i don't care who's favor they are in people that have them are bigoted hypocrites and no mater how futile it is I will still point the finger at when i see it | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:10:16 AM | Well I've been through this one with my ex. Except he made me want to tear my own hair out with his relentless questioning and insisting I write up a list of previous partners....ya, in order....
It's definitely a touchy subject, age old factor that women are considered "sluts" but men are "studs" is trash. My ex gave me an initial number of his partners which a few months later during a prolonged fight he came clean and the number was really x10!
Explained why he was so determined to make me out like the lush...
Anyway, I learned my lesson, I had never been asked this question by any other boyfriend and if it comes up again I will know better how to handle things. I do agree that if you are going to marry your partner, seriously, then you have the right to ask. They in turn also have the right to say no. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:12:55 AM | No....Don't ask him, Don't ask her
I'm pretty opened minded, although my sexual partners number is pretty low,The last guy I dated slept with many many many many women in his life.Sometimes that would creep into my mind and it kinda made my opinion differnt about him...Why? I have no clue... The past is the past , better make sure you can REALLY handle knowing that past...otherwise, leave it alone. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:36:05 AM | No, and if a woman voluntarily offered up this sort of information early on in a potential relationship w/me, I'd be running for the exit.
If she chose to go into too much detail for particular experiences after we might have proceeded to be intimate and sexual, I'd have my second thoughts for proceeding further ...unless one of us wanted something different or didn't want to 'go there'. Only then, and w/o naming names, may details be brought up for discussion. Unfortunately for some who believe that dating is just like interviewing for a job, it isn't. I've never done anything 'on the job' that I'm not proud to discuss. In a sexual context, I may only wish that I'd more detail to share for experience. I've usually found that I'm not as 'experienced' as the women w/whom I'm intimate, and all I can say or ask is "Surprise me, pleasantly" ...and if she doesn't 'get it' that she may need to adjust her wants a bit, then again, I'm headed for the exit. | |
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