| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 11:43:18 AM |
Do you think you have the right to know your partners sexual history? Ie. a Brief description of every guy shes slept with? Same question for the females...gender reversed.
I really do not want to hear about her previous guys, that's a major turn off. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 11:51:19 AM | THE PAST IS THE PAST...
get tested together on the first date... and then you have something to think about one your aniversery date!!!
so no as you get older and mature you realize that a women with a past that she learned from is often better than someone with no past at all! | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:07:53 PM | Okay..my stance on this is:
a. It's none of your business
b. I will tell you if it genuinely bothers you, but you probably won't like the results
c. I don't understand why some mistakes people make when they're younger are remotely
relevant to others, assuming they are now older and wiser
d. hasn't everyone done something they're not proud of? Why would you hold this specific
thing over someone's head and not condemn them for something else they probably did
that was far worse and vise versa
e. It's assinine to assume that a woman over the age of say, thirty, who's never been married
has only been with three people (yes i know it's happened)..but say there's another woman
who is thirty five, has had nine relationships last longer than a year, and two one night
stands in four years of college..this makes her a slut? Hell no, grow up.
Just my opinion | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:23:06 PM | ABSOLUTELY NOT. Any anyone who feels the need to know, much less ask is too insecure to be in a relationship anyway.
If you are an adult dating another adult, assume they have a past. Know that it is THEIR past, not yours and deal with it or move on. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:30:54 PM | Yes, before I'd date anyone I'd like to know if they have been tested for an STD. I don't just jump in bed with a guy. Before my x and I dated seriously, we both got HIV/AIDS tests.
I worked in HIV/AIDS prevention for a couple of years and then did research on the HPV Virus. The virus that causes cervical cancer. Having an awareness of these diseases has made me very cautious about who I date. When I was first married in my early 20's I got Herpes from my partner. I thought because I was married I was safe. I was not very happy and we divorced. Now I would say I may have over reacted but it was an unkind way to find out about an STD.
In any event any girl or guy should follow the rule, No glove _ No love. I don't want to know who the other person dated but I would want to know they are safe. I have met a number of men who during the first meeting over coffee want to sleep with me. Its a complete turn off and I leave. If this is how they take care of themselves and put themselves at risk, I do not want to date them. I mean I feel just like another notch on their belt and I have no intention of going there. I am looking for a serious relationship that is not just physical.  | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:32:14 PM | | One thing that makes my marriage so perfect is that we don't pry into each others past! Sure we share some details on a need to know basis - or if a direct question is asked - we answer each other - but not everything is for the sharing!! We would never consider hiding anything - but never consider asking certain things anyway! | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:48:11 PM | I am straight up and honest about my past. As far as I know, so is my man. His past was risky, so I asked to see the results of his test, and handed him the results of mine. We've discussed past fantasies and realities. I like that, and I like even better that he is ok with the fact that some of my exes are still good friends (Good enough that I speak at their weddings, or even stand for them...) I admit to a mild jealousy of one of his exes, but as for the rest that he keeps in touch with, I am fine. Happy that he has the maturity to let go of the past and live in the now.
Maybe it is insecure, but I am more comfortable in the knowledge that no one in his past is a relative of mine, or any other awkward circumstance. While his numbers are certainly much higher than mine, I revel in discovering things he has never tried before. And I revel in making him the most satisfied he has ever been, finding everything he likes! | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 12:51:33 PM | | If all you're really concerned with is STD's don't guess about it from her answers but get TESTED and have the definitive answer. Otherwise, you're just trying to justify digging into and judging her "moral" choices. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:06:31 PM | | Personally,i dont think it is your buisness.And viceversa.Past is past,its the future you are thinking about.For one thing, people change, and if they fall in love with you (enough to marry you) i dont beleive they would cheat if its real love.just my opinion.But i wouldnt ask numbers,and a real lady wouldnt tell either ;o) | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:47:19 PM |
Do you think you have the right to know your partners sexual history? Ie. a Brief description of every guy shes slept with? Same question for the females...gender reversed.
Oh sure. I just print out my spreadsheet (pun intended) and let him read at will. Dates, times, places, positions, rating from one to ten on various skill levels, and ultimately ~ highlighted ones I'd like to revisit. 
Dear me, of course NOT. I actually did fall into that trap one time. What purpose did it serve? He was insecure, obsessed with a certain person of my past and everytime a minor discussion took place it ended up being about "Mr. Wonderful" (his term for me ex.) Pft. Forget that ~ if someone is needing to know my sexual past, they might want to consider asking my ex (s) ~ he'd most likely get the same answer either way ~ "HA...you have to be joking???"  | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 2:19:17 PM | | What has ever happened to safety????? It shouldn't be about the details of dating someone else but a sexual history is COMMON SENSE. No wonder we have such high rates of STDs among younger age brackets. Scary..... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 2:58:23 PM | | I get a kick out of people saying that the other person has no right to ask..lol.. of course they have a right to know. I think alot of people are afraid to face their past. After all it takes a strong person to face their past and deal with the consequences than it does to be a coward and hide for fear of being exposed or revealed. I think that makes them insecure. I am straight up and my number is high enough that most ladies will feel like saints compared to me. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:43:33 PM | | Ohhhh Phaaaaleez ...If STD's are what some are worried about.....You can get that from having slept with ONE person unprotected.....or 90 .... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:30:55 PM |
I wouldn't date a chick who was with over 10 guys. She's more likely to be unfaithful
or maybe it is too much of a yard stick to measure you by !!!!!!
Personally I dont want to know or tell as long as your Std Free and have been faithful to past partners and can give me the same, thats all that matters.
The past should stay in the past even though it has made you fundimentally who you are today, The future is what is next.
I get a kick out of people saying that the other person has no right to ask..lol.. of course they have a right to know. I think alot of people are afraid to face their past. After all it takes a strong person to face their past and deal with the consequences than it does to be a coward and hide for fear of being exposed or revealed. I think that makes them insecure. I am straight up and my number is high enough that most ladies will feel like saints compared to me.
Talk about double standards !!!
Unless of course you have slept with only 12 then I apologize | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:40:28 PM |
Ohhhh Phaaaaleez ...If STD's are what some are worried about.....You can get that from having slept with ONE person unprotected.....or 90 ....
Thank you ~  I, personally ~ have nothing in my past to be ashamed of. I wish I did ~ maybe then I'd WANT to talk about all the sex I was having and with whom. (Not all people have hidden agendas, some of us just are logical enough to realize that testing/safe sex today is the only way to ensure excemption from STDs. Lip service is not reliable information in my book ~ | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:44:27 PM | I don't think numbers matter, as long as the person doesn't have a STD. You have the right to protect yourself, but as far as details of past relationships why would you want to know anyway. And if she's really good just pretend she's a natural.  | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:57:05 PM | I'm more interested in her attitudes to sex, dating, love, relationships, and her feelings for me in particular. Oh, and if she is going to compare me to other boyfriends or not.
I'd prefer she just forgot about them completely. I hate it when people bring the past into the present. It's so passe.
Yeah, I'd love it if she got tested. But I always thought that was something that would put women off. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:07:18 PM | | Niether person's past should be an issue. What has happened, has happened. It is up to the people involved to decide what, and when, they should share details. Other than knowing whether or not they are STD free, there is no real reason to digging around in someone's past. Let sleeping dogs lie, and all that nonsense. Why set yourself up for trouble by asking or answering this question? | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:24:20 PM | Are you crazy?!?! Hell no!!!! Let that be her business. All I need to know is that she has a current -HIV test.
The last thing I want to hear is that she was a prostitute working her way through college and has had sex with 500 men and blown 850 others. ...or that she was kinda slutty in the 80s and banged a different guy every night from 1981-1984. With a day off here and there, that's still 700 guys. Women in their 40s may very well have experienced this. No joke, I've met several...and they scare me. I don't want to know too much. Just enough. Let the rest go. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:35:00 PM | verygreeneyez wrote
"Dear me, of course NOT. I actually did fall into that trap one time. What purpose did it serve? He was insecure, obsessed with a certain person of my past and everytime a minor discussion took place it ended up being about "Mr. Wonderful" (his term for me ex.) Pft. Forget that ~ if someone is needing to know my sexual past, they might want to consider asking my ex (s) ~ he'd most likely get the same answer either way ~ "HA...you have to be joking???" "
There is *NOTHING* wrong with wanting to know a partner's past sexual history.
Wah wah its too invasive. He's insecure...
bull-f'n-crap!
If you did nothing wrong then simply - you or any woman/many should have nothing to hide. People today are too sensitive.
What is too invasive is someone giving another person herpes, clap or something else. And there ARE people out there that will - it is a reality.
Just because one person made some mistakes in their past DOES NOT give them the right to pass on remanants of such things.
I could care less if she slept with 60 or 100 men if she is clean- that's just stupid to get into a fight over. But at that rate, I'm sure the std numbers are much higher for these kind of folks. I question how many of you floating around here DO have something.
Hepres is 1 in 6 today...
Its the idiots like them that make these things a concern today - I'd rather work with the facts. Call it insecure, my stance is the person is too sensitive to tell and has something to hide.
squirterforyou wrote
"What has ever happened to safety????? It shouldn't be about the details of dating someone else but a sexual history is COMMON SENSE. No wonder we have such high rates of STDs among younger age brackets. Scary....."
I'll second this one. Grow up people!
It does not hurt for both of you to be tested together...
my 2c
happy fishin
-max | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:36:14 PM | | It doesnt matter, we all have a past. As long as protection is used and we were both emotionally healthy and happy, thats all that matters. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:16:08 PM |
Wah wah its too invasive. He's insecure...
bull-f'n-crap!
If you did nothing wrong then simply - you or any woman/many should have nothing to hide. People today are too sensitive.
Just because someone has an opinion that differs from yours doesn't mean they have done something wrong. And, just because you believe in telling ALL, doesn't mean you've done everything right. I wonder about people who immediately think that non-disclosure means something bad is in the past. Sometimes people just choose to move forward. And sometimes people prefer to keep their memories to themself. Just because you view it one way is no reason to be scathing to one particular person, that just makes you look angry and bitter, sorry to say.
And, if you've had unprotected sex ONE time, you are at risk, makes no difference if you did it once or 91 times.
Kat  | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/4/2007 4:19:37 PM | So by that theory the person who has 5 sexual lovers is as equally safe as that with 500?????? And guess what, condoms are not 100% reliable on preventing STDs when people have unprotected oral sex.... oh yeah, people are so quick to forget that little tidbit. And why is that.... I used a condom, I am good, I don't NEED to be tested....
100 partners later and then meeting the person they want to spend their life with, trying to get pregnant and after a couple years being tested for STDs by a fertility doctor to find out .... BINGO... STD has rendered you sterile.
I am not talking about memories.... no need to discuss who did what. But knowing the difference between 5 and 500 is a huge gap in risk factor.
Do they sell blinders in bulk now for all those people who refuse to think it will happen to them?????
1-will-notg-etit | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 7/4/2007 5:09:41 PM | How many times are we gonna get this question?
It's none of my business how many partners, a potential partner has had.
Does he have a disease? That's my business...
I think drawing any conclusions on a number, or reluctance to answer the stupid question, is ridiculous. Grow up buttercup, er I mean vagabon.
Brief description ha ha ha hilarious. What do you want to hear ... Well there was this boy I dated in high school, first love, only love, he was a perfect physical specimen, very well endowed and validictorian. I think he's a doctor now. He was such a gentleman and we had the greatest sex. 'sigh' no one could compare to him . . 'sigh" again. Sorry what was the question? I just got to go make a phone call. buh bye. | |
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