| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:29:03 PM | | NO...Its best to get to know and appreciate each other. Each person reacts differently to another in life. So something that may have broken ur partner up with the other maybe something the 2 of u may consider nothing. Enjoy and if there comes a time to talk do not give total detail....jealousy and other nonsense that can HURT your relationship can be started from all of that rather easily! | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/3/2007 8:07:10 PM |
So what you're saying is that, if a women is single for two years, she can't have any sexual parteners, lest she be labelled a whore? That's absurd. It's really unnerving when a woman propgates the oppression of other women, judgements and double standards. No. You quoted what I said, and you still can't rephrase it correctly? I didn't say anything about "two years" - so I'm not sure where you pulled that. And, I definitely didn't say anything as extreme as "a woman can't have sex with anyone for a two year period without being a whore." What I said was:
The correct assumption would be that she had no discretion when sleeping around or she dated 10 different guys in 10 years and slept with each of them. But, if she was single throughout and just slept with a lot of different guys, without commitment to any of them . . she might be a whore, but, not a cheater. Key word being might. And, if you took enough time to get off of your highhorse, you might have seen that I was responding to the same sentence you responded to. . . just 8 pages earlier.
Whore and slut are just terms for a sexually promiscuous person.
We, as women, have the ball in our court to decide who we are going to bestow the privilege of sticking their penis in us. It's not a double standard. It's the truth of the fact that guys will try, and we decide if they will succeed. It's not a matter of shunning women who like to have sex. It's a matter of women having enough self-respect to not screw any Tom,**** or Harry. And, most women I know who do - don't have much self-respect, and they're creating their own oppression. And if the truth of the words, "whore," "slut," or "sexually promiscuous" hurts - then change it. If it doesn't, then keep on going. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/3/2007 8:12:48 PM | I hate when girls ask this question, I don't ask so you shouldn't ask, ya know? It's like bragging to me and that's not exactly something to brag about -_-. my past is my past and if I want to share certain details, I will of my own accord, not of hers. I've been asked quite a few times and I frankly state it's none of their business.
And about asking if she has STD's, any girl can say she doesn't or never has, but where's the proof? asking is one thing, asking for proof is a whole nother ball field. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 12:05:54 PM | Oh, I'm sorry. 10 years. So if a women is single for 10 years, and sleeps with 10 different guys, then that "might" make her a whore. Now I get it.
It's true that many a Tom and Harry will try. It's ok for them. Nobody minds if men like sex. What I don't understand is why so many people get up on THEIR high horse and judge a woman who decides to have sex with Tom and/or Harry. It's nobody's business unless she makes it their business. As long as it's safe and neither person is putting anyone at risk, why should it bother anyone enough to pass judgements upon them? It's a misconception that women who have had casual sex have low self respect or loose morals. Many strong, smart, good single women enjoy sex and have "friends with benefits". It does not make them a whore or a slut. There's no truth in those words. They're BS judgements from socially brainwashed mouths. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 12:28:38 PM |
I wonder why your "profession" is a question asked on your profile, but your "number of sexual partners" is not? Hmmm maybe because one question is more socially accepted than the other. I suppose having a dropdown menu for "number..." can be a pof suggestion. While we're at it lets get them to add "penis size", "fetishes", etc. Save us all alot of time eh...
 Nice One Mizdameanor 
If she's not selective, it often means she can't be. If a man sleeps around a lot, it's an indicator that many women find him a suitable mate. So a lot of sex will probably be a plus for guys but a negative for women. Just like the kind of job you have is a plus for women but a negative/non issue for guys. Yes, it is a double standard, but it exists for a reason.
Just cause a woman is sexually active when she's single doesn't mean she's not selective about it.
Just cause a man has sex appeal doesn't make him a suitable mate.
The kind of job a man has has no bearing on weather I'll date him. All I ask is that a man can offer the same financially as I can. Pay his own bills and have a car. I ask what men do for a living because we all spend about 1/3 of our life at work, and it's a good way to get to know the person and what they enjoy doing. Not because I care about a dollar amount.
The double standard exists only to oppress womens sexuality and glorify male promiscuity. It's BS. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 1:43:38 PM | I don't care if a girl gets around so long as she gets around to me.
Has anyone ever ended a relationship after finding out the sexual history of the one they're with? | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 2:27:33 PM | scott ill answer no i never ended a relationship because it was not my concern at that time in his life belongs to the past. im not cocerned with the amount of sex or partners that one has. whats important is the present and what he can do now in all aspects of the relationship.
i believe the ones that has a need to know attitude are either hiding something or storing back stabbing and blackmail fuel for a later arguement lol. be glad they come already experienced and trained lol.
i do like sexual satisfaction i dont screw tom or harry but****well i might besides what would i be saving it for. i am aware of the fact that my sexual prime was late coming and is short lived. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:39:08 PM |
Just cause a woman is sexually active when she's single doesn't mean she's not selective about it.
Just cause a man has sex appeal doesn't make him a suitable mate.
The kind of job a man has has no bearing on weather I'll date him. All I ask is that a man can offer the same financially as I can. Pay his own bills and have a car. I ask what men do for a living because we all spend about 1/3 of our life at work, and it's a good way to get to know the person and what they enjoy doing. Not because I care about a dollar amount.
The double standard exists only to oppress womens sexuality and glorify male promiscuity. It's BS.
If a woman is sexually active enough where she knows the true number will probably turn off most men, then she also knows that the most desirable men will probably not want to commit to a woman like that.
Call it what you like, a double standard, unfair, or whatever else ( and as if there aren't a boatload of double standards stacked against men for dating) but no man wants to marry a whore. Take that to the bank because it's why so many women don't want to talk about their numbers. It's not just some "It's not your business" , it's the fact that "business" at that level is going turn most guys off.
And how much sex appeal a man has and how many women want him is very much an indicator of his suitability as a mate. The most desired men have multiple women chasing them. Just like the most desired women have multiple men chasing them. Multiple women don't usually want you unless you possess several of the core traits they desire (looks, money, career, height, etc)
You say you don't care what job a man has, then you proceed to let us all know he's gotta have a car and at least be on your level financially, which would indicate that he does need to have a certain level of employment to keep up with you. You can't even get past your own sentence without the contradiction.
Pretend like money doesn't matter in who you date. I'm sure everyone here will believe you. They will, right? Guess what? No one believes you. It matters, it matters a whole lot. Poll all the guys here on these forums. Ask them if they think how much money they have and what career they have matters in who they get to date. The answer is obvious. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:40:46 PM | Personally, I don't care how many men she has slept with. How she sleeps with them is a differant story. That may tell some medical issues or somethings to watch out for, or run away from.
Yet, you can use this to your advantage. You may take years to find out what she likes and how she likes it. By finding thi out, it will help the two of you become better lovers in a way.
Just my thoughts... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:48:40 PM | | this is wanna those questions that u cant really answer? we have are curiousitys..but sumtimes u can set urself up 4 sum bad info....what happens if she tells u shes cheated with past partners..or has been with 50 more partners then urself..it could cause awkward moments..but in my case i like to know..it varies on certain ppl if ur mature and secure...GET er done...worse case cenario..? u ask a dumb question..and u find out her ex was endowed like a horse..haha,,dont let it get ta ya... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:52:29 PM | I don't care how much he makes as long as I don't have to support him financially. If you call that meeting some level of employment, then so be it.
A lot of men care about a girls personality and lifestyle and compatibility. I don't think all men measure women in terms of "numbers. It's pretty shallow, and I'm sure there's guys out there that are more down-to earth and less judgemental out there who're looking for the passionate love of a smart, sexy, fun woman. If you found her, and she told you some number you didn't like, is that really a deal breaker for you if you're compatible in many other ways?
I hate that those effin words whores and sluts. So demaning and belittling to women. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:55:22 PM | | Not my business! If she chooses to disclose it, appropiately then fine. But if she chooses to hang out with ex bed buddies....She had best be disclosing that so I can make an educated decision on what to expect. | |
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| what I SAY, vs. what I DO.. ?
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:55:29 AM |
I don't care how much he makes as long as I don't have to support him financially
what people SAY and what they actuallyDO or follow are very often 2 different things, on this as well as many other topics..
because it is not socially 'attractive' to be seen as a gold-digger, for example, but quite a few people ARE actually VERY MUCH into $$$$$$$.
just like the many, many people that say "looks don't matter" because it sounds socially acceptable to focus more on personality, etc..note their REAL behavior with people of varying 'attractiveness' levels..
like the many men (and women) who say here that they "don't care" about their lover's sexual 'past'..becasue it is seen as 'cool' to not care..but in real life flip out when they find out things.. | |
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| what I SAY, vs. what I DO.. ?
Posted: 9/5/2007 9:00:49 AM | Well, I agree with you that often people will write about how they "think" they act, and not how they really act. They're not lying, because they believe those things are true.
The term "attractive" is pretty indescriminate. I mean, a man who has a good-looking physique is not nessecarily attractive to me because of other factors, such as drugs, inflated ego or bad sense of humor. I'm "attracted" to men who like to laugh and are positive, non-judgemental and enjoy outdoor activities. I mean, I don't want him to look like a gargoyle, but the things that make a man attractive isn't just his face or body. There are many other factors that are different for everyone. Possibly some women and men have a list that includes "rich", but I don't. In my experience, a realtionship that's not 50/50 financially can have a lot of issues related to money. I don't want a man to "take care of me". I do that just fine by myself.
Many men and women say they DO care about how many people a mate has slept with, but when they find out, they realize it's not such a big deal to them because that person has a lot of other qualities they enjoy. Works both ways... | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/5/2007 11:19:01 AM | Nope...
cause a no real right to ask... unless she has 3 kids from 3 different dads and they are less than 6 months apart...LOL
getting tested is fine but asking about the past... give it time, they will tell you more than you want to know before you know it! | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/5/2007 1:31:13 PM | | The only thing that should be of business is if you have any S.T.D.s that would effect her/him! If you have a clean slate, then it shouldn't matter how many you've slept with! | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:46:44 PM | i will agree with men dont want a whore because i guess they see it that alot of sexual activity. but now they will sleep with a prostitute and pay for it so i presume they dont get alot of play lol. this kind of logic does strike me funny but tend to stay away from that kind of man.
one who wants a man to be as stable and finacial as they are really is called compatible to the point of just taking care of themselves, really dont think anyone is pretending and by far money for them is of no matter. so when one says i dont care how much money he has its saying that she does not need his for her but better be able to take care of him and i surpose this intimidates some males lol. anyone who can stand alone always sticks out and first to be judged one cant win lol.
me personally if he has no car then he buses it | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:55:56 PM |
Whore and slut are just terms for a sexually promiscuous person.
Whore and slut are terms used by those who judge others. It's a perceived notion. What constitutes a whore/slut to one might be a sexual novice to someone else. No matter what definition/ideology is used, those terms are just ugly. Plain and simple.
~OT~ I wonder for everyone who feels this is their business, how many realize they probably aren't getting the truth out of the person they are asking. Maybe in someone 20 to 25, or maybe a virgin, or maybe even someone who married early in life and remained monogamous, but for the most part, I haven't seen many people who keep logs and accountings of such activities. For me, he's free to ask. And in return, he'll get, "Why do you ask?" or "Since when?" And then I have a little thought that creeps in: BM = before me. I don' t care ~ it's what comes to his life with me in tow. Otherwise, it's just ammunition for argument at a later date. It also breeds jealousy, insecurity, and a whole host of other unpleasant things easily avoided by just realizing all people have a past, testing is mandatory, and safe sex is the ONLY sex. JMO
yyyw  | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:57:17 PM | For the sake of argument, let's assume no diseases, everyone's clean, OK?
NO! Her past is her past, just as you have a past. And that doesn't just mean sexual past. You should always focus on the present while looking toward the future, never looking back.
Of course, what is past should stay past too. You don't want any ex's come around knocking..... | |
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eve11
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Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 224 | |
| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/5/2007 8:27:55 PM | NO!
The past is the past. I would not ask a man and if he ask me I would tell him it is none of his business. That just means my private life is my private life it is not to share with anyone, it is nothing to hide. One should never assume.
Partners should get tested together before they do it. | |
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| Her sexual past.....ur business?
Posted: 9/5/2007 8:50:49 PM | Hello Gazingatmars ,
I beleive I would want know, not the numbers so much about the life stile. Man or woman can live that way if they wish to. That just isn't me...I am on the other side of the circle...180* degree out.
So my views of that type of life style are polar opposites. That being said, I would want to know that I could see whom I would be compatible with or not. Does that make any sence to you guys?
My 5.02 worth
Rick | |
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