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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/15/2007 4:07:12 PM |  Welllll......"Dusty Knight" You should come and check Savannah out!!!
Great profile/narratives!  
And on topic..I still experience much younger guys writing me than my age or near it.
I am not dissing it (flattered!) ...but it is what I have been experiencing, at least on this site.
Probably the reason is that silly pic of me on a boat (NOT mine!) taken a few years ago (I just like it..cause it's "me")... 
Hey...whatever floats your boat!  
All I know (Reality) is that Life is really short...live it as if it's your last day! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/15/2007 7:22:32 PM | | I also don't know why on earth all these men in my age group are telling women they only go after 20 - 35 yr-olds. Have any of you guys actually "searched" our age group and seen the profiles??? Page after page of drop-dead gorgeous women 40 and up? I chalk it up to unbelievable arrogance on the part of my fellow men. You should be ashamed of yourselves...lol. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/15/2007 8:18:21 PM | | My two cents worth is that I am 64 and would not consider dating anyone younger than 58 or older than 70. I have two teen-age sons, still work full-time and run a consulting business on the side. It just does not make sense to me to get involved with anyone too much younger than me. It has more to do with energy level, breadth of interests and what they want out of a relationship. I am not looking to recapture my lost youth, better it should stay lost so I can grow up! | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 330 | |
| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:28:46 PM |
I think all you over 45 women are just hotties and why aren't you dating me? lol
LOL, dusty, have you asked any of us? I think what we have here is a failure to communicate hehehehehehehe
chris | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:38:32 PM |
maeflowers if I lived closer to Alberta Canada you would definitely be ask out. since i don't think I'm really over 27 , you can consider this as being hit on by a younger guy in a slightly older body.
...Right....don't let the 1200 kms scare you...if you leave now you can be here in time for lunch tomorrow haha
...maeflowers | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:51:39 PM | sounds like a man in mid life crisis! DUMP him. most of the men i know are not like that. some of them are, and some of the women are also. you are in way better shape than i am. although i look younger also, i'm disabled with lymes disease and i have teens. many men my age, have a problem with that. they are also DUMPED. many men do not. if anything, like attracts like-- irrespective of the superficial stuff. and if you cannot find a "soulmate" , i say find an "earthmate"!  to everything, there is a yin and a yang. just seek the balance... is what i have told myself. also go dancing...  ... if they are too busy dancing, they won't have time to take "your" inventory!
ps it's the thing to do for younger men to find an older woman for "fun". doesn't mean they are interested in committing. sure, there is always the possiblity for wide age differences irrespective if it's the woman or man who is younger. but there are complications later on in life, that for some can be quite sad. i have several friends going through this and they had no alternative in that they truly loved and still love their mates, but it still is sad. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 12:05:29 AM | A man either is or is not datable and he stays that way without regard to wealth, social status, physique or the content of his character.
As near as I can tell, there are two possible explainations for your experience: 1) you are one in ten or 2) you are content to settle. Now don't be offended by the word settle. I don't mean it in the sense that you date lesser women. As I apply it, it means that you are okay with them never being open to more of a relationship than lemonade on the porch swing. There are some women who will occasionally date a lesser man just to get out of the house but will go no further.
It's a ridiculous number to pull out of the air. If you said 50%, ok. Probably 40+ half the men, and half the women, seem to have lost interest, except in some vague hopeful way. But marriage statistics alone would show a much higher percentage of 40+ marrying again.
No, my dates were not "settle for", and anyone who reads any of my posts on any of the forums, knows that I am far from the "porch swing with a lemonade" type of guy. I am sexually driven, and the only reason to work towards having a relationship, rather than content myself with friendships, is all about sex.
If you were talking about you, and who you consider datable for you, ok. It's probably valid that only about 10% of the men are "datable" by your standards for you, and the reverse is true for me, in terms of women. I look at the "viewed me" women, look at their profiles, and maybe 5 in 100 would interest me enough to even entertain the concept of dating them. 2 of my dates were women I met at the salad bar at the grocery store, and two from POF. 1 of those has gone to the "next level". That's in 6 weeks. At that, by my recent, random sample, 75% of the women I dated once, weren't compatible, or didn't create a spark. It's a matter of continuing to look, until you find someone, who feels about me, as I feel about her, and then you have the beginning of a "match".
The point being, that I know, and accept, that most women won't be attracted to me, but I also know that some will be. Of those who are, some will interest me, and some won't, but at the end of the day, there are enough women out there, that it's not hard to find a date. The vast majority who aren't "datable", are the ones who aren't interested in dating in the first place.
I'll go even further in saying, that most people, men or women, if they are looking for some particular attribute will find it in someone wanting to date them, if they look hard enough. I was in a 5 yr. relationship with someone inappropriately young (late 20s), cuz I thought that was cool 5 years ago, and found it was a constant source of "issues". The sex was great, but not much else, but by then I was "hooked". Now, I am seriously interested in someone 47, and it's a much better fit.
Truth is, that it's not much different from, when I was in my 20s. There are more "options" than difficulty, in finding someone to "date", and as I said before, I know that I don't have anything that would make me stand out, head and shoulders, above my peers. So, with personal experience as my guide, I merely beg to differ from the 1/10 pulled out of the air. It doesn't jibe with experience or common sense. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:27:49 AM |
I'll go even further in saying, that most people, men or women, if they are looking for some particular attribute will find it in someone wanting to date them, if they look hard enough. I was in a 5 yr. relationship with someone inappropriately young (late 20s), cuz I thought that was cool 5 years ago, and found it was a constant source of "issues". The sex was great, but not much else, but by then I was "hooked". Now, I am seriously interested in someone 47, and it's a much better fit.
Truth is, that it's not much different from, when I was in my 20s. There are more "options" than difficulty, in finding someone to "date", and as I said before, I know that I don't have anything that would make me stand out, head and shoulders, above my peers. So, with personal experience as my guide, I merely beg to differ from the 1/10 pulled out of the air. It doesn't jibe with experience or common sense.
Certainly not for you. You are one in ten. God Bless You. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 6:12:06 AM | Pesonaly i totaly disagree with above statement . people get together for diferent reasons , love companionship , At 60 year old , and am told . look ten years younger .
i personly would not have the slightest problem in dating a slightly older woman .
I think i would be more wary of a younger woman , and wondering if i could possibly
keep up with her and her energy Depend on your motives i think some women get more attractive as they get older . Absolute nonsense .53 is not old .Raymondo2000 | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 6:39:26 AM |
look ten years younger
Yeh, yeh, and so does everyone else on here.
i personly would not have the slightest problem in dating a slightly older woman
Yeh, looking at your profile, you'd date a woman 1 year older than yourself, but you expect a 45 year old to go 14 or 15 years older than her age to date you. Sheesh. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:12:03 AM | When I was younger I was much more easily influenced by others -- and easily impressed. I can see why people would seek out the less experienced person, it's just not for me.
Many times when receiving emails showing interest from someone outside my age group, there is "something" that is offered to entice rather than just the man himself.
If he's much older, it will be his possessions. If he's much younger, it will be his looks.
Neither to me is enough to turn my head. I find these people to be insecure within themselves and more than likely the one they attract will be also.
Arugula pointed out someone willing to date 15 years younger, but not 15 years older. If you can't see yourself with someone 15 years older ask yourself what kind of person would? And then see that this is what you'll likely end up with. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:36:35 AM |
If you can't see yourself with someone 15 years older ask yourself what kind of person would?
Someone who likes people that much older, I'd guess..... | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 9:37:33 AM |
By delusional I mean it in the sense that many of us who are in our late 40's and people of 'met' here and IRL have the idea that they options in finding a mate/LTR are the same now as it was when they where in their 20's and 30's. Delusion, to me, is a belief in something that has little basis in fact or in reality.
Anyone who actually believes that their options are the same at 40+ as they were at 20 and 30sis not delusional, they are just flat out STUPID.
It's a simple matter of numbers for the most part, let's face it, there are not nearly as many GOOD single men and women running around loose at 40+. I'm not saying that ALL the good ones are taken, but they are definitely not a large commodity. Even the good ones who ARE available can tend to be cautious/selective. That tendency actually can be part of the "goodness" factor.
I don't know as I'm all that "good" but this much I do know...before I date a married man looking for a little something on the side, or support a lazy man, enable an addiction, or accept a bootycall deal because it's at least SOME male attention, I'll stay by myself.
That being said, I'm also not willing to abandon the hope( or hell maybe it IS a delusion LOL) there is a man, who is a GOOD man by my standards, who has fallen thru the cracks, been unfairly divorced, untimely widowed, and doesn't have his head up his butt looking for a woman half or 2/3rs his age, who is the right man for me. I see absolutely no sense whatsoever in complicating my life by participating in a dead-end involvement, or being in a relationship with someone I don't love and respect, just so I can "be with" someone.
I again encourage the OP to "consider the source" as far as the question raised. I'm not sure I woulds call a twice divorced man who's been single for 14 yrs and is, in my opinion, simply attacking her self-esteem in order to run an agenda, a reliable source of valid information about dating and relationships in the slver and golden years.
Just my dollar two ninety-eight opinion.
Cindy O | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 3:49:07 PM | I'm 53, don't "look" my age, dont act my age LOL and have the stamina to outlast a lot of younger guys...
Do younger women take any of that in consideration?? I dont think so - they see my age and usually dont respond, or many block men that are 20 yrs older than them...
RE good looking older women - i dont care what your age is!! If you have bothered to take care of yourself - that states a tremendous amount about you!!! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 5:45:03 PM | ^^^^"I'm 53, don't "look" my age, dont act my age LOL and have the stamina to outlast a lot of younger guys...
Do younger women take any of that in consideration?? I dont think so - they see my age and usually dont respond..."
 UHHHHH..bet it's not the "age factor"..bet it is the "married factor"..ya think? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 6:12:21 PM | Anyone who actually believes that their options are the same at 40+ as they were at 20 and 30sis not delusional, they are just flat out STUPID.
I've been called many things, but never stupid. So, you're a first.
It takes a bit of analysis, to make a rather simple point, that was simply stated as a matter of personal experience and observation. After your response, one thing is clear. If you and I were the last two people in the world, no one would be in a relationship at 40+. LOL. Fortunately, not all women over 40 carry around a battle axe.
In my 20s, there were more women close to my age, who were "available". There were also a lot more guys my age. As a percentage, there was a higher percentage of women, who were "looking" for a relationhip, who I would find initially attractive, but there were more guys, as a percentage, who were single and considered "datable" competing for them. I didn't even think about women more than a couple of years older as "potential" matches, so it was pretty much just women my age.
I didn't really think about it much, because it was rare that I wasn't in, leaving, or beginning a new relationship, and I have never found "playing the field" a desirable option.
Now, there are fewer women close to my age, who are both "datable" and available, but there are a lot fewer men "competing" for them. What I look at as "close to my age" is a wider age range, and there is also the option of inter-generational dating.
So, to simplifiy this in a way that occurs to a "stupid" person like me, in the hope that a great intellect, such as yourself, will be tolerant of our intellectual disparity, let's say that in 1975 there were 500,000 single women within my immediate vicinity, who were within a couple of years of my age, and roughly the same number of men "competing" for them. The options for meeting were limited to chance encounter, friends in common, and singles bars. It rarely took long to find someone "datable". Let's say tht now, there are 50,000 thousand women in my immediate vicinity, and a like amount of men, but now, there are expanded opportunities for meeting women, and in a way that is inheritantly efficient. We all know that you can "screen out" 10 people in a week here, without the time and hassle of actually "dating", as you look for the "right other". We aren't limited to our immediate vicinity in the same way, either. So now, there are millions of women, who are "potential" matches.
In my experience, it doesn't take any longer to meet someone with whom to explore a relationship. Fewer other men are "in the game", looking to find someone, and there is both a wider potential age range and expanded sense of geographical proximity.
This was a lot to go through, for what was a relatively minor point. Simply that, in my view, "every pot has a lid", an it's actually possible now for more pots to find their lids, than it was 30 years ago. In my personal experience, the fact that I am far more "selective" is offset, in terms of defining the "available universe" of potential matches, with the arrival of new technology. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:11:07 PM | chronicaly AGE is a fact! The OXYMORON is the past post SierrASman!
for MOST on this site,all sites every site! there is a saying men get better lookin as they grey,overlooked is theSWANthat turns into the Unbeleivable! problem is... SHE doesn't see HERself! She spent so much time with the OXYmoron she lost herself!
Sorry I can't for the life of me take the word of any man that has a pony tail...whoahhh
wait settle down? that in itself is the most OXYmoranic thought I can"t beleive! I said!
Fact any woman that says SHE does not picture herself witha younger male...to that I say BShit! To any male that has never thought Older woman I say BShit!
To the rest that in your innocence Look only to your own age gropings (NOT misspelled) I did mean groping! all I can say is this...
This IS the Internet,there areMANY,there are FEW and there is still only ONE!
ISN"T that WHY You are here? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/16/2007 10:58:47 PM | ladyc4, i wonder about lesser chances to find someone as you age. for me, it's been easier. maybe lesser numbers, and also i live in a pretty hip area now, but i do meet a lot more people than before, quality people who have lived and learned from life's lessons. keeping the aforementioned variables constant, i think it's because i'm a lot more comfortable with myself now and a lot more saavy. maybe less romantic or more down to earth than before. but by that i mean i'm romantic about the man in my life now, but i also accept his non romantic aspects which when younger i would have taken personally. maybe that's because his actions speak highly of him, when i really need a friend. and of course there is chemistry. i've never had this kind of chemistry when i was younger. a late bloomer maybe or just an old fart refusing to go out quietly!  !
but still, i tend to meet more quality men now and up to now since i've been divorced. having a monogamous relationship, i fix the good ones up with my friends! i really try to connect with neighbors, other lymes disease victims, and be part of the communityi. also, i am not in denial about real life and my needs. although not codependent, i do need a mate in my life as i'm a very touchy feely person and the two dogs and four cats just don't do it for me!
i won't fall apart without him (i am way too social), but i don't need him to be perfect as i fulfill many of my own needs. sooooooooooooo, at least for me...it's been easier....and although i've been called many things, stupid is not one of them. well i take that back, my father used to call me stupid as a kid, but he had a lot of problems.
also people living in smaller provincial towns seem to be having a lot more problems finding people. for example meetup dot come here is very active; whereas in other areas not much is going on, etc. etc. . i moved here because i could not stand where i was living before. it was the best decision of my life. costly and i may need to get boarders, but at least i am living the life. not giving up. near nature, the arts and good people and places to just hang out and talk. reminds me of nyc greenwich village but maybe 30 years ago. and way much more provincial and closer to nature. but the energy is there. in some places it is not. so maybe that's more the problem along with people looking for someone perfect rather than making progress in a relationship. but that could happen at any age. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:12:58 PM | | Wow!!, then I dont have a chance to find a man, I am 60 uhm!uhm!! what am I going to do now, Janet4now ???? any suggestion? since you seems to be able to get all these guys not to believe that no one looks younger than their age. Poor me for being old and ugly lol | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:40:11 PM |
Wow!!, then I dont have a chance to find a man, I am 60 uhm!uhm!! what am I going to do now, Janet4now ???? any suggestion? since you seems to be able to get all these guys not to believe that no one looks younger than their age. Poor me for being old and ugly lol
What is wrong with being a beautiful 60 yr old? ... I hope when I get there I can say the same, without adding "but I look much younger". | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:40:31 PM |
I'm 53, don't "look" my age, dont act my age
PEOPLE! You need to stop believing what flatterers tell you about looking younger than you are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking one's age. Every time I see someone who claims to "look younger," I check out that profile and wonder if that person ever looks in the mirror. Whom are they trying to convince, themselves or potential dates?
I am 54, why should I worry about being an age that I cannot help being? The alternative to being 54 is being dead, and I am very happy to be alive.
As for "acting" an age . . . how is an "age" supposed to act? Someone forgot to give me the rule book for "Acting One's Age." How should I act now that I am past 50?
It is a misnomer to say that age is merely a number, but life is too short to miss out on either a younger or older man who might appeal to me.
What is wrong with being a beautiful 60 yr old? ... I hope when I get there I can say the same, without adding "but I look much younger".
Janet, my astute online friend, great minds think alike! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:54:58 PM | Hi all,
I admit that I have not read all the posts....argh don't shoot me ...please.
I think one of the problems that arises on dating sites is that we post our age. When I am out and about people do not wear lables stating there age. I see who they are what they look like and decide how I feel about them based on that , not on a number.
I think the age number matters so much online. Look at some people 's restrictions about who can mail them, it often includes age.
I think when people do searches they pu in age restrictions. There is a lot of socialisation about what is appropriate when it comes to age range to date within.
Older men younger woman...ok older woman youngar man ...cougar | |
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