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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:39:36 PM | Thank you janet4now for saying i am beautiful 60yrs old. I never claim to be looking younger on my profile, I stated that dont be scared of my age, I still full of energy and dress and act young, hope there's nothing wrong with that.    | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:45:33 PM |
...I stated that dont be scared of my age...
Lucilou, we need to "not be scared of our own age". That was my point. Don't ask of others, what you won't do yourself. (so to speak) | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:22:47 PM | OP
"And the fact is that the vast majority of men over 45 will not even consider dating a woman your age. "
I don't find that to be true with my male friends or myself. If in fact the vast majority feel that way, then I am in minority. 
"Do your own actions illustrate the above statement as "mostly valid."? Should women in my st/age of life face "reality" and accept that our chronological age matters more to most men our own age than our physical fitness and all of the other things that we feel we have to offer Mr. Right?"
No to both questions. I like to date women who grew up in the same era as I did.
Listened to the same, or similar, music. etc
I don't get where this guy was coming from at all. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:49:48 PM | "Now, there are fewer women close to my age, who are both "datable" and available, but there are a lot fewer men "competing" for them."
This logic might be valid in the relative terms, but unfortunately not in the absolute numbers.
60% of the original swimmers in the available universe may be available again, but in this age group only a fraction of them would fit in the "attractive or interesting end of the pool" (to pre-empty any flaming attacks- this contraction works for both sexes). | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:14:24 AM | i agree totally with janet, although i wonder if she knows how much more powerful that statement will be as she gets into her late 50's and the words begin to challenge their own legitimacy. aging does scare me , more often than not and particulary when i'm not keeping busy-- no matter how hard i try to scare it back! looking younger is an illusion. looking good is a reality. but aging is also a reality no matter how good you look.
it annoys me that the media assumes that if you look good, you look younger. it annoys me when people set age restrictions on older people so they cannot even receive email as much as a younger person. but then again, you can get to the end of the tunnel and to the light a way lot faster. so, in the end it's a good thing.
the bottom line to aging, however, is that you don't have as much time left as you did before. i have dealt with similar issues with disablity, so aging becomes a double whammy. confidentially, i allow myself an inexcusable luxury now and then. i enjoy getting carded when i ask for the 55 + ten percent discount at the diner. do not tell. in fact, i not only enjoy it, if i feel really bad, i seek it out!!! so i guess i'm a hippocrite or just unsuccessful in ridding myself of the fear.
why do i fear? i guess because i think it ( the good times) won't last much longer. i fear that having conquered my disablity by working around it, i will become even more restricted with aging. i fear that at some point in time, i won't be able to afford the restylane! i am not yet at a point in a relationship where i can safely say, i look forward and am confident that we will grow old together into our 70's and 80's (if i live past my mother did). you know, those rocking chairs? but i am lucky to live in an area where older people well into their sixties, for sure, are out having a blast. jazz, blues, dancing, salsa, writing classes, poetry reading, various congregations, on and on and on. so, maybe in the future, i will find me a really hip senior center. i am told there is one group who helps the homebound and you must be a senior in order to join the helpers. so one foot follows the other. it is difficult to imagine for me, but i trust. that is after i emote and acknowlege my fear.
i would not be able to share this feeling or solutions with a man who is way younger. if you don't have this fear, G-d bless you and go for whatever you go for. it does feel good however, to look good and have a partner to have fun with (while it lasts) and to be able to look forward to growing old together, especially if you are an extrovert and an only child who has always longed for closeness and community and a family. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:06:08 AM |
but in this age group only a fraction of them would fit in the "attractive or interesting end of the pool"
As I almost daily move through the mass (or morass) of humanity, I come into contact with people of all ages. I teach the young and not so young, mostly first year college students. This fall semester, I will be teaching six classes divided between a community college and a university. I will meet about 150 new people the first week of classes. I worked at Wal-Mart for two years before getting my MA; I saw a goo-gooplex of people every day.
So what? you ask.
As well you should, and this is why: The fraction of people in existence--period--fall into an "attractive or interesting end of the pool." Regardless of age, the number of obese, too thin, plain-looking, homely, ugly, not very bright, stupid, ignorant, illiterate semi-literate, dirty, smelly, etc. is overly proportionate to the attractive, smart, and educated people. Age has nothing to do with these attributes.
If being young is the only thing that some people have "going" for them, it is a piss-poor way to judge their attractiveness, especially when in what will be a relatively short time, they will be in the boat with the rest of us old farts. Youth fades, true beauty does not; youth fades, but unless senility sets in, intelligence does not. A boring 21 year old will most likely turn into a borintg 71 year old. A personality that is a dud at 25 will still be a dud at 65.
LUCY, you are beautiful and you are a role model for the rest of us. Not because of your beauty, per se, but because at 60 you are still out there, not just looking good, but taking care of yourself in all ways and being sassy. I want to be that way when I am 80.
SerenityCW, I agree with everything that you say. It is EASY to say that aging doesn't bother me at 54 when I still look halfway decent, but how will I feel at 75? Of course, I used to think that at 35, I wouldn't be able to wear jeans because of my age; I used to think that at 50, my life would basically be over and I would just be waiting for death. I was sure that at 54, I wouldn't be interested in sex and would be wearing muu-muus and have short, permed hair.
I was wrong!
it annoys me that the media assumes that if you look good, you look younger.
Exactly! I can look good at 54 and still look 54.
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:01:14 AM |
Should women in my st/age of life face "reality" and accept that our chronological age matters more to most men our own age than our physical fitness and all of the other things that we feel we have to offer Mr. Right?
Reality of being in your mid-50s? Please.
In my opinion, that "gentleman" is full of c**p. For the life of me, I cannot think of a single thing that a 35 year old woman would be able to offer, that a woman age 54 could and provide better. Sheesh....
You don't even look 40, and you sure have the physical fiitness of a 30 year old. But the fact is that you're 53. And the fact is that the vast majority of men over 45 will not even consider dating a woman your age. It doesn't matter if she is well educated, very physically fit, or even financially secure.
The above is merely a load of horse-s**t... | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:51:03 AM | Janet and Luci;
I'll tell you both here and now that you look FAN-TAS-TIQUE! No further qualifier is necessary. You both look great---for ANY age. Sorry, Luci, that I'm not old enough for you , and Janet that we're too far apart (even if you're from my native state!LOL)
So, enough with this "look younger than my age" thing, I've seen lots of women on here who look great for any age---and some who put women half their age to absolute shame. So, you two (and others out here) just go right on, there're enough of us guys out here who'll want you that you can pick and choose.
Best 2 U!~Nicebluiz | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:53:34 AM | ^5 to charlie!...
I have no idea where these women get that load of BS at..Maybe at a country club or local 9-5 bar..
maybe their cheating spouse...self esteem issues arising?
Be yourself..you are what and who you are..if a guy doesn't see that then it's his problem not yours..
Way too much vanity in these women to need to look 30 or 40 when you are 50s..embrace it..enjoy it..with that attitude the men will flock to you of all ages..
We think you are hotties!!!!!!
Dusty | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:10:58 AM |
Among other things, he said:
"... the fact is that you're 53. And the fact is that the vast majority of men over 45 will not even consider dating a woman your age ... if she's over 45, he will rarely consider having a serious long term relationship with her."
All I can say about this man's comments (from the original post) is that he has never been the object of the passion of a woman over 45 -- and with his attitude, there is little wonder. And as such, the comments have no basis in actual fact and should thus, be ignored. For I can say from experience that when a man becomes the object of all the inner depth and passion of a woman of this age, the only thing that is desperate is his ability to catch his breath.
"Someday grasshopper, when you can snatch the stones from my hand ... then you will be ready."
cdn guy | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:13:17 AM | ^^^^^^cdn..."when a man becomes the object of all the inner depth and passion of a woman of this age, the only thing that is desperate is his ability to catch his breath."
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:46:06 AM |
For I can say from experience that when a man becomes the object of all the inner depth and passion of a woman of this age, the only thing that is desperate is his ability to catch his breath.
Amazing words... very effective as well -- (I do believe they made me a bit squishy -- CDN write a book and make a butt-load off the highly inept, frustrated male population) | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:20:23 PM | It just matters what male. There are men that as they age, chase younger and younger women to make themselves feel young. There are men who are high energy and just feel that only a younger woman can keep up. There are the guys who will chase any woman. They don't care how old you are. They just want to be able to catch her (or at least try).
As for the rest of us, we are looking for that spark of attraction. Just that someone that you feel a special connection to. Could be momentary, short-term, or ... | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:38:59 PM |
For I can say from experience that when a man becomes the object of all the inner depth and passion of a woman of this age, the only thing that is desperate is his ability to catch his breath.
Knowing that men like you are "out there" makes all the difference. You won't be "here" very long. Please accept my thanks before we lose you to some very very very lucky lady. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:42:33 PM | Nicebluiz???? that is so sweet of you, and yes if you are only a lot older I surely go for date with you, nice decent guy you are, no woman can turn you down. You are a cutie yourself with a nice smile!!!   | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:52:27 PM | | Thank you gwendolyn, you are so sweet, I have been trying my best to workout if time permits, I have 1 1/2 jobs due to the facts that I sent my 2 sons to college on my own, but my being tired after work didnt stop me for taking care of myself. Thanks again Gwen good luck to you. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:11:14 PM | Well Stargazer the guy is full of caca... what can I say.
I've had several relationships in the last ten years with women ranging from 40 to 62. I personally have experienced the younger fortys to still be too much work. They seem to still be hung up with 'being younger'.
I've clear that for a maningful relationship to happen for me, I'm looking for a woman whose close to if not 50 or above.... and guess what.... The sex is better with them too
That does little to combat the media hyped perspectives of the 'herd' however and unfortunatly thats what one ha s to ride through before finding one worth 'cutting out'. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:20:02 PM | edit...
I'm clear that for a meaningful.... (and that I need to clean my contacts so I can read my own writing.....) | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/19/2007 2:36:42 PM | Ok so you are 54....Who do you date? Who should you really date?
If I date someone much younger in age, I really have nothing in common with them.
If I date someone my age..someone in my family or friends says..why are you dating that old woman? I happen to like old women..now if'n they have more teeth than toes..more the better..
If I date an older woman..say 50s to 60s, she normally is retired and wants a guy who's retired. Because you aren't, her kids think you want her money or home..or worse..SEX from their mom!..
Just who the hell are ya spose to date?
So..you refuse to go to bars and pick up someone..and sit home watching the same old tired tv shows..get's old just working around the house 24/7
I could just go door to door asking who's available? lol... I think not..the police don't find that very amusing..
Grocery stores are full of married females..Ahhh but I don't cheat or won't date a cheater. So the old adage of grocery store pickin's doesn't help me much.
ok, I finally go out for a night..a 38 yr beauty old talks and flirts with ya..I've had a beer or two..my chest is pumped..I'm feeling rowdy....now why would a pretty, intelligent young woman flirt with someone 16 yrs older? Are there no good looking guys around? Does she think I may have money? Oh god forbid she wants sex..forgot my viagra...Hey..anyone have any blue pills? Good thing I never said that out loud huh?
Maybe it's just me but I prefer a full grown mature woman. A woman with intelligence and style..who has a chest to hold up against me when we dance..oh and a nice derrier should we trip and fall..
The women my age want 30-40 yr old males who'll pound them like a peice of meat..dam that did that sound envious huh? lol Dam right! Well I do remember a time when...
Then there's the older women who want a male who's healthy, can still get a stiffy and is retired with a nice pension...hum that just isn't it either..I have a younger daughter still..That tends to be a bad thing in dating..But I have one pension and will have 3 at 62..Maybe I can get lucky..yea..I'll have a shirt printed..Have pensions..date wanted!
Sometimes I wonder if dating is worth the effort, he says into his beer as he drinks the last gulp...oops 10:00 past my bed time..
dusty
is easier than dating | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:10:37 PM | | Same thing with a 16 years younger man flrting and trying to date a 16 years older woman, why so? maybe he couldnt get a date from a younger woman? Why is it that they used older women just for fun and sex? We do deserve a honest love relationship with love and long term, age is sometimes doesnt matter if the man looks a lot older than his age and a woman looks a lot youger than her age, maybe it would work . One question, if this happen, what is the future of this older woman to stick with the relationship? and will this man would really honestly says he is truthful of his love? Just curious here, I am not pretty but I am not ugly either, I just want someone who will love me faithfully , I am passionate and romantic lol | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:19:21 PM | Next chapter,
This was tongue in cheek , I hope you recognized that..
look at the women's profiles..they want someone to travel and fly away with them so you'd need to be retired..
I have a job and kids to support so i can't do that..so i don't fit their needs..
I have nothing in common with younger women.don't fit there either..
many and I mean many women want younger men and that's great and their preference..so i don't fit there either..
this is the point I'm getting at..
dusty | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:47:56 PM |
Anyone who actually believes that their options are the same at 40+ as they were at 20 and 30sis not delusional, they are just flat out STUPID.
I didn't read this whole thread, but I noticed this statement and strongly (respectfully) disagree.
If we're looking for a long-term relationship, our options seem exactly the same. There seem to be lots of good people (good-looking, too) of both genders of my age, or a few years older or younger, who are in the same boat - middle-aged and single. I can't see how it's a disadvantage, to be honest.
If we're looking for dating (or a fling), our options are actually much better. I can only speak as a woman, of course, but I assume it's fairly similar for men.
Because we're this age, plenty of younger men who are either curious about older women (this can fall into the uncomfortably "too" young category), or slightly younger men who have reached an age themselves where five or 10 years older really doesn't matter. (I know five or 10 years older doesn't matter to me, so I can understand this.)
There are also lots of men in the same age bracket who are newly single and want to date casually until they regroup from either a divorce or the loss of their spouse.
Then there are older men who have been single for awhile (divorced or widowed) and realistically plan to stay that way, but who would be happy to spend a bit of pleasant time with a woman.
So middle-age seems to me to be a prime time for finding either a LTR or something less serious. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:22:51 PM | | We can all lament on the hows and whys and could bes but in the end its simply what works for you..Go with what feels right.....Sometimes we get too bogged down with this age thing | |
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