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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/4/2007 10:50:52 AM | ^^^  No need to apologize. I wouldn't wade through 20-odd pages of posts, either. 
General comment. Look, we're all gonna age and die (if we're lucky, some die way too young). Nobody gets out of this alive, so face growing old with dignity. Don't run away into the arms of some young-un in order to avoid facing that fear because in the end you'll still have to deal with it, probably alone if you keep up such adolescent behavior. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/4/2007 2:22:43 PM | | I too did not read all 20 pages but i got the gist of it from the last page. Personally i find that woman closer to my age have more in common with me and me them. Lets face it would i love to be 30 again? YOU BETCHA!!! Can i be 30 again NO. So i will be the 56 year old that i am. also im very happy with who i am. Your last post pretty well sums it up there motownmaniax. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/4/2007 2:39:15 PM | ^^^ Thanks, Rusty. Sounds like you have a positive and mature outlook on life. I applaud you.
Oh, and meant to write if we're lucky to live to old age because some people die way too young. I just read my previous post back and that part may have sounded confusing....lol. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/5/2007 12:16:27 PM | There are those men who are like that. I have dated women 15 years older and 15 years younger than myself and I find I have more in common if the woman is close to my age.
maybe the guy in question has some security issues. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/5/2007 1:53:39 PM | I am just beginning to read through this thread, and as a 41 year-old man I would not date a much older woman (over fifty). Of course it depends on the woman, and how compatible the two partners would be. However, I don't think mature women in their fifties are interested in most younger men in their forties. Please correct me on this one. My intuition is that mature women would not tolerate the men's immaturity as a rest-of-life life partner - sure, the physical relationship is one thing, but the emotional and spiritual relationship a woman in her fifties is seeking would rarely be found in a much younger man. Of course things are changing as life-spans lengthen, and the quality of life for both men and women improve further. :)
I think the needs of mature men over 40 preclude most women under 30, and most women over 50. This is a generalization, I know, but it is true to a large extent. There needs to be a parity of maturity - younger women under 30 are quite different in their emotional makeup than mature women over 50. Of course, the same is true for men.
Whether a man in his forties dates and falls in love with an older woman over 50 depends on how comfortable he is with the natural aging process. These men are beginning to grapple with one's own physical changes as they age. Some of the men are going through a transition themselves. Toss in the combined life challenges of both partners such as a man's (woman's) divorce or widowhood, shared custody of children, alimony, job changes, step-children, grown-up children, grandchildren, being a caretaker for one's parents, and pending retirement, and a woman over 50 tends to have very different priorities than a man in his forties. Again, generalizations abound. But men in their forties are not usually in close synch with their more mature partners. The greater the age difference the greater the dis-synchrony and dis-harmony.
In some cases men over 40 prefer women 40-50 who have had children and are now with grown-up children, or empty-nesters, so the relationship takes on a kind of freedom of unbridled intimacy not encountered previously by either partner. This is probably especially true for men who have fathered and raised children of their own who have left the home, or for men who have not had children.
For everything that has been said, of course there are counter-points. Just putting these thoughts out there. IT is a sensitive topic. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/5/2007 1:59:41 PM | I am just beginning to read through this thread, and as a 41 year-old man I would not date a much older woman (over fifty).
Well, truth be told, at 41, you're not willing to date a woman over 40. :) At least, you have your profile age filters set so that women your age and older can't even email you.
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/5/2007 2:28:36 PM | Geez, Arugula,
Thank you for pointing that out to me!!! I am pretty much a newbie to this.
I will change the filter to allow ladies over 40 to email me.
Thanks!
Glenn | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:23:39 AM | Good post on the previous page, Groovy.
We all make generalizations with dating so why should this topic be any exception? I think your views are as valid as any I've read, more so than many. Some people lose sight of just how complex relationships are, and how they're buffeted from all sides by competing pressures, interests, and stimuli. I always find it a wonder people can create healthy and long-lasting ones in spite of all this? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:29:07 PM | Stargazer46,
I've but my own experience to offer. I've not read all of the previous postings so if I'm rehashing other's thoughts, please forgive me.
I would think, as a man, that if I find a woman with similar interests to mine, my interest is piqued. The fact that she is attractive and has kept herself in great shape is certainly icing on the cake. Where in the world does verbalizing age come in. I would think, "Who Cares."
So, I must definitely disagree with your 63 year old friend. And as to his motives for such poppy-cock? I would think that it would be fairly obvious.
So here's the fact. In the early spring of '05 I'm 54 years old. I meet, or should I say reacquaint, with a wonderful old friend. She is lovely, educated, witty, in great shape, and she's made 62 journeys around the sun. We had an amazing time together and I only hope that she looks back upon that spring/ summer with the same sense of amazement that I do.
Summary, I wouldn't think age would matter if all else fits so nicely into place.
Just one man's humble opinion.
Dave
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:12:50 AM | | Congrats, you were on a date with a LOSER...lol As a man, I don't want this clown speaking for me. I'm 47, and as it seems, there are a lot of 20 something females out there who seem to have some older man/biker fantasy out there. Well, sorry but they are not for me. I myself prefer women my own age. They have had the same life experiences I have had, and have gained the wisdom from them that makes them a viable option. The guys who want the younger ones are only trying to stay young themselves....and it's not gonna work. You're as young as you feel. I have met women in their 30s that were actually much older personality-wise, yet have met women older than me that were much more vibrant than most 20 year olds. If a man tells you that you are too old for him, just consider the source, and realize that her wasn't worth having anyway. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/10/2007 6:52:06 PM | Complete lunacy. I think I have in my profile that I'd date someone as young as 38. Can't remember right now for sure lol, but I think that's the number. Anyway, in reality I couldn't imagine having a serious relationship with a lady who wasn't in my age range, meaning probably mid 40's at least. There's that generation gap you see, and if the woman I'm seeing is from that younger generation, what are we gonna talk about? Young ladies may be nice eye candy lol, maybe even good friends. But I seriously wouldn't consider being in a loving relationship unless I can talk to you about ummm, whatever lol, and you know what we're talking about.
Jim  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/10/2007 9:13:50 PM | Like all questions that start out with "Do All...", there is always a variation. It's hard to say why people are divorced multiple times in the first half of their life, but I imagine there are as many reasons as there are people. Personally, I've always liked "older" women. However, now at 51, it's more like my own age! Looks like I've caught up with the Older Women!  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/11/2007 5:49:56 AM | Spencer there are still a few slightly older than you... that can keep up!!!!! Bet you a donut... I'd have you winded in 20 minutes........lol!!!!
I think for myself a good spread of ages... at 58.. back to 51 and up to the dreaded age of 65.... but I get fellows older than that email me and wonder.... could he really keep up with me? So I pretty much hang in there hoping for someone 58 - 62 and those guys still Rock!!!!! They've earned their freedom and the right to enjoy their hobbies!!
I haven't found one yet to tell me ... You're too old for me!!!!! Most say Yikes... I can't keep up a conversation much less walk beside this Lady!!!
Older women Rule baby!!! Quoting my MOM here at 75!!!.....We won't swell, won't tell and will be grateful as hell!!!
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bosoxx
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 490 | |
| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:22:57 AM | Hi Stargazer,
Did someone say that to you?That sounds utterly rediculous! i'm 44, i'll be 45 in nov.....What i try to do is date somone close to my age 40 to 50 is fine....someone 60 I wouldn't go for.I'm not sure why but it could have something to do with increasing the odds of losing her after not so many yrs. together.I guess that could happen anyway,but I'm not one to increase the possibilities if I don't have to.
I had this experience once. I read a profile on here to what appeared to be a attractive 41 yr. old woman.After exchanging e-mail addy's she informs me she's not 41 but 50.I told her I didn't wish to deal w/ her anymore at this point.I feel if she is going to lie about her age,what else is there for me to discover?Her age had nothing to do w/ it. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:27:18 AM | "We won't swell, won't tell and will be grateful as hell!!!"
Now that is funny.
I much prefer women who grew up in the same generation I did.
No young Barbies for me | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/11/2007 2:15:57 PM | It's my observation that age is front and foremost only on dating sites.. in real life, it's not too often that age is the first subject discussed when meeting someone new... the initial attraction is, I'll admit, physical but the actual connections are interests and personalities.
Too bad dating sites don't use interests as the main criteria in their search engines instead of age... perhaps then people wouldn't be so hung up on the age differences. For instance, I could be attracted to someone much younger or older than myself, but if our interests and personalities don't mesh age wouldn't make a difference ~ there would simply be no potential for a connection of any kind.
I love live music and dancing. I know that even though someone lists music as one of their main interests, if the genre is easy listening and it's stated that they have no interest in going to places where the music is loud, no matter what their age is, they are definitely not for me.
I fail to understand the reasoning that even though two people share a great deal of interests, are at the same energy level and their personalities are compatible some will automatically reject those who don't measure up to their age requirement. True, there are extremes ~ I wouldn't consider dating a 20-something guy.. I can approximate what age a guy is by his photo and listed interests. It's just MHO that by putting too much emphasis on age and not enough on compatibility keeps us from meeting and experiencing a lot of interesting people. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/11/2007 3:07:27 PM | I think that some men are looking for something young to have on their arm, so that they can think that time has not slipped by. But for many of us we are looking for a woman who will be with us for the long haul. I myself would not look at a woman who is a lot younger than myself, because I would like to have many things in common with her. These would include the experiences that time and maturity give to all of us. I am 45 and is looking for a woman who is around my age give or take a couple of years.
Thanks and good luck with your searches
Zante | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/11/2007 6:39:45 PM | | I would suspect that any person (man or woman) who feels the need to date much younger than him/herself is not comfortable with where they are at on a personal level and trying to find youth again. Not to say love can't happen outside of a person's age range, but if it is a requirement, then there is an issue. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:16:00 AM |
It's my observation that age is front and foremost only on dating sites.. in real life, it's not too often that age is the first subject discussed when meeting someone new... the initial attraction is, I'll admit, physical but the actual connections are interests and personalities.
Well put, dreamer. The original post described a 63 year old guy telling a 50 something chances are she was too old numerically...really hogwash.
If I see a profile on POF that interests me, and I am 58, I write and introduce myself. When I search I enter 48 to 65 as my range...the ones under 50 rarely respond, and that's ok, if 58 is too much, I don't want my time wasted. I am much more comfortable with women near my age...better fodder for war stories and conversation. I guess I am saying there is a flip side, since a lot of women in younger age groups (40s) apparently aren't looking for the 58 range guy. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/12/2007 10:42:52 AM | | I generally prefer men who are between 40 and 60 as far as age is concerned, but the men who are in their mid 30s who have not been married seem interesting at times, since I have not been married. I seem to be dismissed as a potential date by many 40-60 year old men since I have not been married and they have been. I have found that a lot of men who are between 40-50 are looking for women who are younger than 35 since the men want to have children with younger women. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/12/2007 10:58:18 AM | Dreamer, so well said and I believe your first paragraph so true in all of us. Each of us have personaity traits that we look for but that initial attraction(in my opinion always physical) is always where we start. Age means little to me but I am a very outgoing and love to get out to listen to live music, I race and attend lots of other events and many my age and older just aren't into getting out that much. I'm not a partier and don't drink a lot although I enjoy a few drinks when I'm out(alcohol not necessary though). I do prefer someone on the mature and on the witty side but I see lots of older guys who always seem to be attracted to younger women regardless of common interests. On the flip side it seems to me that many women 40 and older look for younger guys. It seems to me that many look for that fountain of youth in a partner.
It also seems that many on the dating sites aren't nearly how they claim to be in their profile. It also seems to me that if someone has been in a bad relationship(and they know it) they seem to still get back into the same kinda relationships all over again. Can't quite figure that one out but it sure seems to happen a lot. there doesn't seem to be any rational reasoning for many of these choices but ti seems to happen very often. Maybe most of us are dysfunctional and don't know it. JMT. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/13/2007 12:38:53 AM | wanted to say i have taken and read all the posts in this thread. I have found it quite interesting that so many ladies want the guys closer to thier age. I am 56 as of this past sunday and I have placed no limits on the age of those that write to me. I originally joined this site for the forums. A lady I had met online in another dating site told me of this one. She at the time was a memeber and has since left due to meeting a guy here. They do make a great couple and friends. They are both around the 50 mark give or take. They by far accent each other. They took the time to get to know each other before jumping into anything. I know this is not of the topic matter other than they were in the age range discussed here. But the age range is an issue since the closer they were helped in the joining that they have encountered. I have to wish them the best as they have been together for over a year now.
As I had posted earlier in this thread I have dated older and younger women over the years. The last relationship I was in was with a younger woman. She was 16 years my younger. Would have married this woman but things happened beyond her control and mine at the time to prevent it. want to add something here if I may and it is a small story of something that happened during that time. We were talking once when she made a comment to me of a younger guy talking to her and asking here out. She laughed and said no way would she have dated him. I looked at her and asked her why. She said he was to young for her. I just looked at her at that point. Didn't ask anymore questions but she did take and continue to talk and finally made a comment on how much younger he was. Just so happened he was 16 years her younger. This struct home a bit if I need to say. I then made this comment to her and here I will quote mine and her response on this. I said "Doll I am 16 years older than you is this suppose to be referring to something? Now if looks could have killed I would have died right then. Her reply was "This is different with what we have. I am 32 and he is 16. " On that I had to agree but I replied to her "think, if I was 32 you would have been 16." point to this was I don't care about age and she preferred older guys. funny thing was when we met age was not an issue and to this day is of no issue to either of us. She is still very close to me as a friend and soulmate. I still worry about her at time as she does me. friends is what we will always be.
I think to much is being placed on age in the dating scene. to me a date is to go out and have fun. to seek a partner a person should look for things otherwise. like how well they can communicate with each other. How much they have in common. If there is a physical attraction both mentally and physically. taking the time to get to know as much as possible about the other. weigh the pros and cons of not the other one but of yourself and if you alone are ready for a committment into a relationship with just one person. If you are ready to make that step then I say go for it. any and everything after that can be handled as a joint venture. Now don't misunderstand me on that please I am meaning with in a certain boundries.
oh just wanted to say to dreamer something about pictures. When I was 40 I had a picture taken standing beside my mother that is 17 years older than me. (or I should say was) In this picture I still had my hair and it was starting to gray. Now a person that came to the house one day visiting my mother just before her death asked her if I was her husband. My mother took and asked me to shave my head since she liked bald guys. I did it for her and liked it and remained that way til now. I am by far not the same looking as I was in that picture. that is one picture I take and keep put away in an album. Very few people have seen it or will see it by me. Now I am by far not ashamed of my looks just ashamed that I had let myself go to where I looked so much older than I actually was at the time.
Txriverwillow to answer your post if a person dates a person younger does not mean that they are searching for thier youth. Over the past 56 years I earned each and everyone of those years. I am by far not ashamed of that fact or the fact that I have not married either. Just haven't found and had things work out right with the few that have caught my attention to want to wed. I have however went and viewed a lot of ladies profiles and most of them are ladies in the late 40 to early 50s. now I don't do searches I just view those online. sometimes those with in my state. Most of those ladies do have limits stating below the 50 to 54 mark. I have had several write to me in thier 30 and late 20s. These I have replied to but for a relationship am not interested in.
My profile states LTR this is because I am not opposed to going into one or into marriage if it goes that far. I just prefer to get to know someone first before doing anything. I don't like to jump the gun and go right into meeting a person. Tho I am not opposed to it either. well I have posted long enough and I am sorry if it is so long for everyone. Good luck on your quest people and hope things go well for each and everyone of you. Oh wanted to make a comment on something if I may. Back in the thread was something about guys seeking older ladies because they are past the time of wanting a child. Yes I will say that was one of my reasons for originally dating older women. it wasn't for the sex tho that was a bonus along the way. But I had had an accident that caused me not to be able to become a natural father. This cost me a relationship with one of the women I would have married and had asked to marry me. when she found out she walked as it had never been an issue until then. so ladies now all us guys will walk over no child nor do we all seek someone to create them with. Just me on this one people.
be well people  
Moundpuppy | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/13/2007 8:06:01 AM | To OP
Guess something is wrong on my end since I prefer women around my age, I enjoy looking at their face and seeing all the life experiences reflected in it. | |
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