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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/17/2007 7:11:06 PM |
So if the 'gentlemen' our age are chasing younger skirts...and the ones older than us can't get it up..... and we don't have a taste for young meat ourselves......guess that just about tells us to break down the tent and pack it in!
No wonder we get cranky upon occasion
The world isn't going to run out of women, or men, within whatever realistic age range you desire. One has to be a bit flexible, of course. For example, if you specify that you will only consider men within 25 miles of you, who share your religion, dating goals, are non-smokers, who earn X etc, etc. , each internal "filter" shrinks the pool a bit. Still, it's an impossibly large number of "possibles" to consider.
Anyway, you're only 1 year older than me, and I feel far from "ready" to "pack it in". You can, if you want, but it won't be because there aren't any men available. It's just "hard" to connect on all levels, which is why we look until we find. :) | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:21:00 PM | NO he is wrong. Being in good health and looking good is important. He is just shallow and not considering he will one day get old too!
I am 63 and have dated a lady 63 and wanted to marry her but she found an older fella who had lots of money. Then I dated a lady 54 and now I am dating a lady who is 57. I have been serious about them both.
But then I am a widower and was married for 41 years. So I do appreciated loyality in a person.
Take Care | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:23:08 PM | Hey sweetie this old fella can get it up!!!! I also dont put older ladies down either.
Exercise and good food do wonders for the sex life. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:36:53 PM | Stargazer 46,
Your 63 yr old friend is most assuredly entitled to his own opinion but it certainly doesn’t reflect my feelings or the feelings of my single friends who are all over the age of 45. In fact I think it would be a bit of a stretch for me to see myself having a long-term relationship with someone under the age of 45 and I’m 54 yrs of age.
Please don’t accept what your friend told you as anything more than his opinion based on some very limited experience. To me age is secondary but it only makes sense that people are going to feel more comfortable with others their own age. Reality is we are all individuals and we are all different. We all have different wants and needs and to paint all men over the age of 45 with a broad brush is foolhardy at best. Your Mr. Right will have all the qualities you are looking for and your age won’t matter to him. Good luck & keep fishing, regardless of which end of the pool it is in.
Gary | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 9:23:18 AM | | Hi Joe and all forum readers, I don't have a photo on POF, and wish no one did, don't you think it more interesting to see each other as just good old fashioned "penfriends" after all none of us can judge a book by it's cover!. It would be so nice to just talk to people and not feel you need to fit into weight, height, age, fitness.ect. .... I wonder what the world would be like if we were all sight impaired???? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:21:53 AM | Age is just a number, I've found. I'm 64. I've been in relationships with women 18 years older and 36 years younger. So far life has been good. As long as it is a female, has a brain , is knowledgeable, fun to be with, few hang-ups, not recently a resident in a mental hospital or jail, is clean and neat (not excessively so), humorous, and we have some common interests, I could go for her. Overly high expectations usually spell disaster. LOL. Recognizing your own short commings allows you to overlook some short commings in others, if your smart enough. Took me quite a while to learn that. But I have an excuse. I'm a man...LOL: :   | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:56:03 AM | I'll be quite honest and admit I didn't read all 31 plus pages of this thread; therefore, my reply might be repetitive. Please forgive if it is.
Fact: A lot of men in their 50s plus will not date women their age. I keep getting emails and contacts by men mainly 35-45. Finally, I wrote one my age who was local and asked why he had never bothered to contact me. His reply in Summary stated that I looked flighty (the red hair) and he was seeking a more homebody woman. (guess he saw my career endeavors). 
I am staying with the 39 -50 in age. They seem to be well grounded, stable and not afraid of a decent/in shape, intelligent woman.
Just my 1/2 cents worth. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 12:09:34 PM | | he sounds just like he is stupid!!! you sound like a really sweet classy lady and if you want to come to ms i would definatly take you out ... from the over 45 age group | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 1:03:35 PM | | i think what the 63 year old gentleman said about women over 45 is bull. i think a lot of the problem with women over 45 is they are afraid to take a chance. women over45 have a lot to offer i don't think their age has anything to do with it. jmo. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 4:31:01 PM | | Well, I'm fifty three and I don't chase young skirts. I look at them and think of my youth when it was fun and wouldn't kill you. Then I wonder what their mothers look like. I would rather date someone over 45 than younger. Too many differences, and too many hang ups they haven't gotten over yet. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:37:43 PM | I don't have a photo on POF, and wish no one did, don't you think it more interesting to see each other as just good old fashioned "penfriends" after all none of us can judge a book by it's cover!. It would be so nice to just talk to people and not feel you need to fit into weight, height, age, fitness.ect. .... I wonder what the world would be like if we were all sight impaired????
Appearance is a very natural and important part of attraction. If you're talking about a "romantic" connection, a part of that is sexual desire. Sexual desire is is triggered, in part, by physical attraction.
The truth is, a person's intelligence has more to do with genetics than appearance. People can't do much to increase intelligence, but they can work to improve appearance.
In any case, one of the "truths of life" that I discovered in my first go around with online dating 8 years ago is that those without pictures on their profiles, almost always have a very "good reason" for not posting them, which is never a "happy surprise" to discover.
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:50:29 PM | | I am 52, and I think that door swings both ways. Personally I prefer the woman to be close to my age, but others dont. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/23/2007 1:53:55 AM | | Appearance is very natural for first appearance, as we all make value judgements and yes most make a value judgement on first meeting, but having spent the last 20 years working in the disability industry, I have learnt to look at the person within! I do not understand your concept of genetics....as I beleive we all have the ability to work on our intelligence of accepting others ....no matter how much paint and frosted lens you use the inner soul will always show ! | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/23/2007 3:53:35 AM | Lost track of this thread but....Geez MeloFelo post 754, you didn't even bother to look at my profile to see if any of your blatant speculations might be true....you know why, because I didn't have a titillating photo up there!
My age range is 45-70 with a preference of 55-63 give or take
my location range is around 10,000 miles tho they don't let you put that down, but I will add it to my profile...because I am monumentally flexible
I have no religion other than the golden rule
I smoke, tho trying to quit
and my 'dating' goal is for a long term relationship...not weekend diddles
I'm solvent and even well off
So much for confining 'filters'....try walking a mile in our shoes before opening your mouth about something you know nothing about  that would be the world from the other side of that/your looking glass! This is the reality of most of us decent, respectable older ladies out here in Oz...and it doesn't mean we're prudes or just want to 'sleep' in that bed either.
So far in my experience to date in Oz, the Op was right on.  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/23/2007 3:58:46 AM |
I do not understand your concept of genetics....as I beleive we all have the ability to work on our intelligence of accepting others
Intelligence is not the same as "wisdom". One acquires wisdom, through learning and experience, but basic intelligence is primarily based on genetics. To the degree that intelligence is the result of nurturing, rather than "nature", most of that would be formed in the first 6 years of life.
Appearance, on the other hand, can be largely altered and "improved". Difficult as it may be, one can lose weight, if it's a priority. One can exercise, upgrade his/her wardrobe, change hair styles, and in extreme cases, have plastic surgery. One simply can't do much to improve a 95 IQ, to make it 135.
Either way, appearance is not irrelevant to sexual desire, which is the basis for romantic relationships. | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/23/2007 2:12:05 PM | Lost track of this thread but....Geez MeloFelo post 754, you didn't even bother to look at my profile to see if any of your blatant speculations might be true....you know why, because I didn't have a titillating photo up there!
My post #754 was only directed at you, Rusty Traveller, in the sense of remarking that you are only one year older than I am. Obviously, I did read your profile, in order to know that. The point in that post, was not about you, specifically, but as a general comment that: a) there are more than enough members of the opposite sex to "go around" for those who sincerely wish to find someone, and b) that often what keeps us from finding someone, is that we have so many filters, that we have eliminated almost everyone, or else we project a negative message with our profiles.
I was not saying that is true of you, however. I have, though, "walked a mile in your shoes", in the sense of being in my later 50s and "looking", and I can only reiterate that my experience has been that it isn't all the difficult to find members of the opposite sex to "date". Finding the relationship that I've found is difficult, but it does come through being "out there". When and how it comes remains a mystery to everyone.
One specific thing about your profile, in terms of when I was looking. The "knock out" factor for me would be, that I would never, ever pursue things with someone, who says "no religion". I won't go into it, but it's such a fundamental area of incompatibility of life view, that there would be no basis for anything, not even much conversation as "just friends" on any kind of sustained basis.
One other "factor" unique to you is that your profile says that you have retired to Italy. On a site that is predominantly populated with North Americans, who have English as their primary language, the number of appropriate men within reasonable geographical proximity would be a fraction of 1%. So, you can blame it on your picture, viewing men as shallow, but living in Italy makes you a very special case. | |
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wrobt
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Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 767 | |
| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/23/2007 6:44:07 PM | | At 47, I honestly want the 40 plus woman.For some odd reason, all of mine Have been much younger. Mid 20's to 30 with 1 exception, she was 37. one thing that was clear is the younger women had no clues to life's reality. I was more concerned with provideing, they just wanted to party. | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/23/2007 10:36:03 PM | Melo the fact is that you quoted me, then made a generalized response that had nothing to do with my particular situation. That implies that you have a love of your own opinions without careful deliberation of the facts.
Even tho I live on the back of beyond, which has it's own set of complications, I don't think that my situation is much different from other women my age in the US or the rest of the planet. I do have the UK, Australia, NZ and a quarter of Spain by the way ;-).
While the odds are, you as a man have a much better chance of finding a sincere woman. We women on the other hand, who are seeking a mature 'relationship' are bombarded by serial daters, virtual pornographers and the many other diagnosable players out here in Oz and that applies for most women on whatever continent. Apparently a lot of men are frivolous in their wants and desires in this age group for a number of reasons I suppose; burned, betrayed or revealed or maybe just revelling in the candy store mentality and thinking there is no tomorrow. As the Neapolitans say under the shadow of Vesuvius "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we may die!" That seems to be the attitude.
And to assume that I would even be interested in you simply because you responded to a post of mine erroneously and I called you to task on it does seems to shed some light on a few of your errors in reasoning and your need to expostulate on others 'supposed' character.
Simply.... there are always two sides to every coin, my reality may not be yours. | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 3:39:08 AM |
And to assume that I would even be interested in you simply because you responded to a post of mine erroneously and I called you to task on it does seems to shed some light on a few of your errors in reasoning and your need to expostulate on others 'supposed' character.
This thread should not be about "you", and certainly not about you and I. I take care in every thread, as in my profile, to make it clear that I am in a serious relationship, so I never "assumed" interest on your part, Rusty Traveller. What I did do, was what I always do, and that is to post, referencing a thought shared by someone else, and then doing "free association" to post an opinion.
I think your posts, most especially the last one, illustrates a point. You have a somewhat negative opinion of men your own age. I think that your situation (living in Italy) makes it unlikely that men in North America would respond to you, regardless of any other factors. It's not because men are "frivolous", or "shallow", or anything else. Simple fact, before any others, most men are not interested in exploring a relationship with someone 4,000 miles distant.
In terms of me, as I posted in the beginning of this thread, I have dated, and had "relationships" with women, spanning a 30 year age range. The woman with whom I am seriously involved, and am planning a future, is in her mid 40s. Age is not the determining factor for me, and it was about that issue, that the OP was focused.
Appearance does play a role for me. That's a natural thing, and is hard wired into human nature. It's not "shallow". It's normal. I don't defy my nature, and feel that I'm entitled, as is each person, to be attracted to whomever I'm attracted to, without referencing "political correctness". You are too. | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 3:46:50 AM | Easyhe62, I wish there were more like you out there......... Do you have any brothers in Florida? 
My experience is that guys in their 50's do date around their own age but once guys go over 60, they don't and it's because most men think women are attractive up to 55 or so but then start to go downhill........... And those 60 and 70 year old men do look in the mirror and think they look 10 years younger when they really don't usually
I need to voice one concern though. Over and over on these forums, I hear people put down women who are overweight. I'm not but I have two friends who are and you know what? They have really happy marriages..............And both of them have average build husbands! They are both sweethearts...........kind, fun to be with, affectionate, and yes, even sexy..........they can be devils......... And neither one of their husbands would give them up for a minute .........
I think guys miss out on a lot when all they are attracted to and even turned on by is how much someone weighs................ | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 3:53:42 AM |
I think guys miss out on a lot when all they are attracted to and even turned on by is how much someone weighs
I agree with you, when you criticize men for "putting down" women for weight. That's immature, judgmental, and mean. Women are better off avoiding men like that, regardless of their weight, because it reveals unpleasant truths about their character.
However, attraction is not based on an intellectual decision. It is what it is, and there's nothing "wrong" with someone having preferences. Women have them too, and there is no universal truth about what others find attractive. To use one, some women think bald men are sexy, and other women are turned off. Some women, too, react to weight. On and on.
IMO, denying one's hard wired preferences is dangerous. It never works. I've tried. | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 4:14:42 AM | I'm going to be a little daring here which is unusual for me in a public setting but the biggest sex organ is the brain and sex is an activity not a spectator sport where all you do is look and it works. I would rather have a good lover then one who just looks good. 
Having said that, I will leave you to think about that a little......... | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 6:00:38 AM |
the biggest sex organ is the brain and sex is an activity not a spectator sport where all you do is look and it works
Sure, that's a very popular thing to say, and it probably is true. But if it were true in the way you're trying to make it true, then you'd happily have sex with another woman, or a comatose dwarf with no limbs. Afterall, it's all in the brain, right? 
The fact of the matter is that we are all attracted to what we're attracted to, and it is all in the brain. But that doesn't mean we can change what we're attracted to either. Forcing it is a mistake, unpleasant (at a minimum) for you, and unfair for the person you're forcing it for. So telling someone they should give someone else a chance when the other person is heavy, short, blonde....whatever, and the person is NOT attracted to that type, is absurd. | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 6:17:04 AM |
sex is an activity not a spectator sport where all you do is look and it works.
Male physiology is what it is, and male sexual response relies on being attracted and excited. Merely caring about someone and wanting to be closer, if it doesn't also include sexual attraction, makes male sexual response impossible. That is especially true, as men are older, and the mere fact of the potential for a sex act, regardless of interest in the partner, is no longer all that thrilling. It takes sincere desire for most men in their 50s to be "into" it. | |
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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 6:28:19 AM | That is especially true, as men are older, and the mere fact of the potential for a sex act, regardless of interest in the partner, is no longer all that thrilling. It takes sincere desire for most men in their 50s to be "into" it.
I agree alot with what you are saying MeloFelo except for this part of it. It depends on the male himself and not all are alike over the 50 age. I'll be 50 on my next birthday and I have no issues with getting to the desire part as you speak of. I don't have too be into a sincere desire state to have the desire. Although in the truth of the matter I'm a true gentleman, I'm still able to get it up when the time arises for it. It's called being human. | |
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