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| Calling all 40-60 Something Males?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:02:06 AM |
I don't have too be into a sincere desire state to have the desire. Although in the truth of the matter I'm a true gentleman, I'm still able to get it up when the time arises for it. It's called being human.
Let me put it this way. In my teens and 20s, I would "get it up" for any living human female, so long as she was available and willing. I might "prefer" to have feelings involved, along with attraction, but I'd "settle for" female and breathing, if it came down to it.
Now, everything "works" just fine, but I have to have some sincere interest, some level of attraction, or some feelings; or else it's not worth trying. Sex, for its own sake, is not that big a deal, without the additional elements of excitement about being with someone.
So, the ultimate point to my post was that it's not that simple, when women complain about men being "shallow" for having preferences. If I am totally turned off by a woman's appearance, there's a real question about "function", even if I tried to ignore physical attraction. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/29/2007 8:35:02 AM | Dear Stargazer 46,
I was watching Letterman the other night and in his skit and
in just turning 60 he had said the good news as it is now that being 60 is really the new 40!
yippee!!! Hope springs Eternal"
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/29/2007 9:37:45 AM | As a 9 year Widower . . I can only say that I'm Open and Sincerely looking for an
LTR . . and 'AGE' has Very little to do with what attracts me . .
The chemistry is important, and begins with the Physical . .
- Not to indicate that I'm Shallow -. . but attraction begins with a Visual inspiration . .
Granted . . it may take Dozens of introductions to attractive people to find ONE that
combine well with my values, attitudes and tastes . . But, I'm willing to make the effort . .
to find Happiness . . . . . . Again . . !! . .  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/30/2007 10:25:55 AM | OK...For starters, I just got here a few weeks ago - I'm in the process of getting divorced, and while many people would consider me "not ready," I've been emotionally out of my relationship for several years now. That said, I really don't want to be a babysitter and date younger women - but the majority of the ones my age that I've met thus far either are so jaded that no one meets their criteria, or I come across as a greater loser that I think. And I guess that's my dilemma, my unanswered question that I finally put aside when I moved out. Now I don't think I am a loser - I've worked hard all my life for the same company, raised 2 children, have accumulated a few possessions and made many friendships, and hopefully made few if any enemies. I even want to make sure my ex has a soft landing and can find someone she can be happy with. But the problem I face is, who is looking for me - I'd like to think there is a a 45-55 year old woman with the same interests as I is out there looking for me - but could I be wrong - or worse yet, what if she is into me and I'm not into her. I've had far too many relationships where I fell in love with someone who was not available, with the predictable result that I was miserable when she found out and ended things. Even now, I have two friends that I would be with in a heartbeat, but neither are interested in me that way - I'm always in the "Friend Zone." Perhaps my feminine side is more dominant than my masculine side, or physically I just don't cut it - a saga hangs on that tale.
Bottom line, I'd welcome a relationship with a woman my age - end of story. Now, where the Hell are you???? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/31/2007 12:59:15 PM |
a 63 year old gentleman and i were sharing experiences in this "middle-aged and seriously seeking" stage of our lives
I hate to break it to him ... but he doesn't have much of a chance of living to 126 .... so I sure wouldn't be calling him middle aged.
and its not too likely you will live to 106 either .
But the fact is that you're 53. And the fact is that the vast majority of men over 45 will not even consider dating a woman your age
like so many others on here .... I hate it when someone claims to be speaking for most men or most women .... they in general are just arrogant and trying to justify their own positions or trying to make their position look unusual and worthy of more respect than it really is.
Love comes when it feels like it. to whatever age it feels like coming to.
Long term ... well that just means you have developed a great friendship/business arrangement and maybe some nooky too. ... also.
there really is no way to compare a guy that's 42 with a guy that's 62 as far as what he is looking for in a relationship ....
A man in his fourties could very well be still looking to start a family and therefore need a woman to be younger for the safety percentages of having children.
Now a man at 62 that wants to have children is being a bit selfish for by the time the kid is a teenager he will be a very old man or dead. [that's not very fair to the child]
Now personally I don't think anyone should be looking for a long term relationship but its okay to be hoping for one. looking is a bad idea. just like looking for love is a bad idea. Let those things find you ... for you will never find them.
good luck
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:27:27 PM | Stargazer46 . Here is an answer for you , I personally always have liked my women a little younger then me but not much say 3 to 5 years , however i have gotten so much attention from women say10 years younger or more my present girlfriend of 5 years is 14 years younger, that even know i would love to date a woman more my age if i met her when i was looking to date and i was attracted tho her so far that has not happened , I have taught about this a lot and it has bin more important to me the older i have gotten , I am now getting ready to make a change in my life and to be on my own again , When i finally do that i am going to make a effort to date women more my own age, However i do not see many women my own age that i am attracted to just by looking at the pictures , a lot are very out of shape whats that all about just because Gals get to be in their 50s the stop caring for their bodies and never work out??? So there are not a lot to choose from and so from the few that are left at least half of them are looking for younger men and i would not date a gal that is hung up on dating younger men women that advertise the fact that the do just very effectively removed them self from ever being asked by older men for a date. And then you get the woman that want to meet a guy to travel with , what the hell ? No guy wants to travel with a woman he just met on the internet im serious !!!
We just want to get to know you in a normal way not have to take you half way around the world to do so if you all want to go travel GO get it out of your system then come back and look for a guy to be with . So my list got even smaller. And now the few that are left live 2000 miles away , so now my list in reality is so small that i have no choice to include younger women in my search , so there now you have my opinion , i have friends my age and none discriminate against dating women our age but i tell you the feel the same way as i do because we talk about this subject sometimes , In general younger women keep themselves in better shape and are way more fun ( i am generalizing of course there are always exceptions like you ) But even you if you were outgoing and went to dances a lot and were exposed to men a lot you would have your pick of men i bet . Most of us men we really just do not meet many older women that are fun desirable datable material . If you ask me us men do not eliminate older women from our date book older women eliminate themselves most of the time. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/1/2007 2:14:25 AM | I have only been on this site for about 3 days and have been mostly approached by younger men!! Personally I like a man to be at least 3-4 years either side of my age, this is what I am comfortable with.
I would like to ask the gentlemen replying do they actually look in the 50 to 60 age group or are they searching in the younger range. If you are not including the older women in your search then how are you to know what is available whether we look younger or not.
regards
HiMaintenance | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/1/2007 9:53:52 AM | Hi Geek Girl do you know that your filters end up giving me this: "geeky girl is only accepting messages from people who may have the following attributes, check profile for details. (don't smoke, aren't married or do drugs). Return to your inbox"
I am not married, I do smoke and don't do illegal drugs - just think they should all be legal and not controlled by Government bought and paid for by Pharma. So we probably have some issues in this budding relationship already. Settings exclude even someone you might like to get to know. Be careful when setting yourself up. I am 55 and think you look just fine - 'cept who can tell you that if your settings get in the middle?
your pal in the mountains of north georgia,
wordtype | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/1/2007 7:47:41 PM | | I use to only date men my age but since I am single after a 27 yr marriage I am branching out more. I put in my profile 40 -57 I get alot of 20-30 yr olds looking at my profile. Are they looking for a mom? lol Age is only a number but I like men who have spunk and are capable of doing the horizantal mombo. lol Course I want them to have all the other fun things like a sense of humor, interesting conversations, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. lol. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:53:51 AM | I'll be 57 in a few weeks and I have been contacted by men of all ages. The youngest was 18 and the oldest was in his 70's. There are some men who specify an age range younger than themselves, but for the most part I've found that most men don't care. If they are attracted to you physically, you both have mutual interests and communicate well with each other, they don't care what year you were born.  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:09:54 PM | | He's full of it! I'm 47. I have dated women in their 50's. That guy doesn't speak for all of us. And I was dissed by a woman who is in her 50's who wouldn't go out with me because i was too old for her!! LOL!!! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/3/2007 7:42:28 AM |
I don't think anyone should be looking for a long term relationship but its okay to be hoping for one. looking is a bad idea. just like looking for love is a bad idea. Let those things find you ... for you will never find them.
If your point is that if you look too hard, you'll "find it", whether it's really there or not, I'll agree. On the other hand, if one would like to find love or a relationship, it's not a passive process either. You have to be "out there" and "available" to it, if it's going to be found.
In some ways, it's the central paradigm to living a balanced life, about almost everything. If one has an abiding faith, it's the question about what to give up to God in faith, and accepting responsibility to do the things that one is meant to do for himself/herself. Finding that distinction between "accepting things I cannot change", and "changing things I can", is all about "wisdom" in understanding the difference between what's mine to do, and what has to "just happen". | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/3/2007 2:24:21 PM | I don't know maybe its a man thing, but honestly age is a number to me. I have met very attractive women who were older and younger than me. They stimulated me physically and both mentally. Thats what I love, someone who stimulates your mind and desires, someone who makes you want to be with them. I have met very pretty women who have turned me off personality wise, and I know women who are not very pretty who are good friends that I love being around, but they are in relationships, and I would never do anything to harm that. So i guess for me age is number | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/4/2007 3:51:35 PM | | Dear Stargazer, I have to tell you as a 53 year old man that your 63 year old friend is out of his flipping mind. I personally am looking for someone like you - someone I can relate to in life experience, someone I can talk with and both of us can actually follow the conversation, someone who can appreciate a man of my age and experience. Yes, I know I have not mentioned sex but an hour or so a day is all I am good for at this age and that leaves an awful lot of day left to fill so intelligent, humorous and articulate are high on my list for desireable qualities. Then you add beautiful, financially secure and physically fit to the mix and it adds up to your 63 year old friend being an absolute nitwit! Ignore him and press on Stargazer, there are men out here who will definitely appreciate you for being you! Bill | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:02:51 PM | Right on brother--its all a question of who is a good fit for me and who I am a good fit for. Also, I don't need a bed partner, rather, a life partner.   | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:12:07 PM |
I don't need a bed partner, rather, a life partner.
Why would you want a life partner, who isn't a bed partner?
Why would you consider someone as potentially a life partner, prior to discovering if she's a good bed partner?
Different strokes for different folks, though. If all you want is a friend and a roommate, I suppose that's fine, so long as both agree. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/25/2007 2:29:42 AM | | Bed partners are a given...........they are a dime a dozen.......they are all over the place. They aren't hard to find. Life partners are hard to find............ | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/25/2007 9:56:06 AM | A man has to find a woman attractive to be with her.
Sadly most post 50 women are seriously past their sell by dates. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/25/2007 10:59:54 AM |
A man has to find a woman attractive to be with her.
And you think requirement is limited to men? 
Sadly most post 50 women are seriously past their sell by dates.
Somehow, I just knew that your profiile would be peppered with assertions that you were a "nice guy." Yep...that's just something that a nice guy would say. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/25/2007 11:42:52 AM | Junping in here without reading all 32 pages of posts, my personal preference when I date (which is almost never) is someone ten years younger to five years older. I'm a fairly active person and I prefer someone that can keep up with me and vice-versa. So that includes women from the age range you're talking about. Anyone more than about ten years younger or older is typically at a different place in their life and things working out isn't that realistic. This of course is just my opinion and I'm sure there are exceptions out there...  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/25/2007 1:57:39 PM | Forgive me too for not reading all the posts. I manage a sheltered housing scheme for older people. I guess in the States you would call them seniors. Well at risk of sounding superficial, I am well and truly tired of being mailed by guys who look like my residents! It's not just the looks you understand, it's the mentality as well.
I am so tired of it that I put an age limit of 60. Men in this country just don't seem to wear well. By mid 30s many have lost their hair, past 50 they look like my Dad (who is dead, by the way). And the irony of it is that so many of these men are looking for someone infinitely younger and more attractive than them! That leaves many women around my age with the truly senior and the would be toy boys. Unfortunately this attitude is even more rife on dating sites (which encourage a shopping mentality) than it is in the real world.
Right, rant over. I'll just hobble over on the zimmer to the armchair and carry on knitting. Now where did I leave the false teeth? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/25/2007 9:10:56 PM | It's a two-way street.
There are both men and women who 'let themselves go' and then go after people 20 years younger.
My general limits are up to 5 years older and 10 years younger, mainly based upon life experience and whether the woman would find me physically attractive and vice-versa. Of course, there have been gorgeous older women who've caused me to consider revising it! lol
I try to remain active and have a regular exercise regime to maintain reasonable fitness. If someone is in reasonable shape it does have a bearing upon how 'old' you feel, but you should be still be realistic in your expectations as to who might find you attractive.
Thinking you'd be a good catch for a woman old enough to be your daughter is plainly ludicrous, and just a little creepy! lol. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 11/25/2007 9:22:12 PM |
Thinking you'd be a good catch for a woman old enough to be your daughter is plainly ludicrous, and just a little creepy
We all have a combination of qualities we seek in someone, but if you elevate one or two qualities as being paramount, most people CAN find someone. To do that, one has to ignore a whole lot of other qualities, though.
I will admit to going through a phase, after a 19 year marriage, of wanting "much younger and pretty", and it wasn't hard to find. The thing is, I got involved with 3 women who met those criteria, but it became apparent "why" they were available to a much older man. Two had serious personality disorders (borderline personality disorder) and one was bi-polar.
So, older and wiser, I revisited those crieteria, and pursued "sane, reasonable, intelligent, and attractive", and found women who fit, who were much closer to my age, and found a much more fulfilling process. Ultimately, I found my SO, who exceeds my hopes in every way, and she's a "grown up" in her 40s.
I think a lot of men have fantasies that they need to act out, after long marriages. It's probably true for women too. Sooner or later, we all come back "home" to the "appropriate" pond in which to fish. | |
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