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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:23:05 PM | Being 46 and single over the last couple of years, my goal after my divorce was to forge long lasting and meaningful friendships with women. In that time there was one romantic relationship that lasted a little over a year. The problem was that she was married for a number of years and hadn't learned how to be single again.
I, on the other hand, enjoyed the relationship but I also valued my independence and that proved to be problematic. We ended up breaking up but we're very close to this day. Loving relationships are out there for men in our demographic, but then again , so are many other options.
I've found that I seem to attract women as young as in their their 20's to as old as theri early 50's and I like that. If and when I settle down again, I'd love to have the type of relationship my mom and stepdad have. They met later in life (40's) dated for about 10 years and have been maried for almost 12. I see the value of really taking one's time. LOL | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:21:45 PM | your right motown no where in your explaination or I should say post is there mention of love by either party male or female. I know of two couples that were wed and in both cases the ladies were at least 20 years younger than the male. Now the funny thing was both of the females persued the males until the guy just gave up running. One of the two couples are still together and i think I mentioned this one before in a prior post. The other I never mentioned since this one I have known since she was 14. met her a lot of years back in my life. She persued the guy she married and she finally caught him. took her almost four years to convince him that she was in love with him.
at the time the two were married she was 20 and he was forty. they wound up having a daughter. have to admit she was very beautiful on her wedding day. now I am talking of this ladies daughter. some twenty lears later. Thing is the two never stayed together the entire time. she lost him after five years and I have to say it almost killed the lady.(he died in a car accident) In both cases the older man was not seeking a younger woman but the younger woman was chasing the older man. I could go more into detail but I won't since I do respect thier right to privacy and I don't have permission to say who they are online. I have known both ladies since I was in my teens and the guys as well. and one of the two couples I saw the last time I went to the state where they were living. the other lady and her family I speak to almost all the time at least once a month or more. But as you said you spoke nothing of love just guys chasing the younger ladies and the older ladies chasing the studmuffins. isn't it funny how its always the case with older guys or older ladies chasing the younguns around.
have a good one people
Moundpuppy | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:13:55 AM | Star, Not quite pushing 60 here yet, and I do not look near my age either, but know too well that this does not a man or woman make.
This known truth, from all my previous decades ISO one love to make me care to remain attached to them, has been garnered from a few promising prospects ...and one who opted not to live up to the promise she made to me before God. In all the fluid and 'black hole' dynamics of dating, I've learned that character/demeanor is by far the most important ingredient someone can bring to a relationship.
Good company and genuine beauty can only evolve from this ...beyond their courage to know me better for the worse I've experienced before, but w/o my going into detail for the past. Oddly enough, I've been dating a women met from here the last seven months, and hope she has the courage to move the nearly 600 miles to live w/ me ...as I cannot move far from a still very young son. That she has raised a son, who's been ordered to return to Iraq to fight in that unnecessary war, only has me more resolved to be here for her. It's not just age or stage, but rather what's timeless for a friendship beyond any that someone younger or of the same sex could possibly bring about for the bearing ahead, The most amazing woman only ten months younger, but one who's experienced what I'd not wish on anyone, has captured my heart. That she's a 'green thumb' on top of several other nurturing qualities, tells me that I am at last in good company to last ...and it all began w/ my reading what I respect for her words here, and her agreeing to meet me, and then join me for a road trip beyond to where I no longer have family other than those RIP, but likely spinning in their graves due to one sibling who's yet to accept her own mortality and still has a conscience and consideration for others. There's no cure for selfish-to-the-bone. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:46:04 AM | Thanks for sharing your experiences, moundpuppy. Your examples go to the core of what I was trying to get at.
Regardless of big differences in age, physical attractiveness, or money, the defining aspects of what makes successful and healthy relationships are love, communication, respect, and compromise. You may never have all of them at once (there are times you may even hate your partner), but you need at least some present at all times.
Regarding LTRs, I believe the most important thing is "motive". Why are you pursuing a particular person? What's driving the attraction? If you're only targeting a certain age or "type" of person, why? People have to honestly answer these questions and clearly examine their motives. Depending on gender, if the main answer is some daddy/mommy fixation, sexual desire, intense curiosity about what it would be like to be with a much younger/older partner, financial/material compensation, etc, your reasons are dysfunctional. Simple as that.
Obviously, I'm not recommending society should "stop" these types of relationships. People are free to do as they please. But, I certainly don't have to promote and support them, either. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/20/2008 7:46:36 AM | I can't say that I understand where you are coming from as I've not had difficulty in attracting & keeping the interest of men my age - I'll be 52 in August. There have been many much younger me who have approached me but I've had no interest in a relationship with someone younger.
I have actually met a very special man (only a few months older than me) here on POF & plan to build a life with him because we share so much together - most of our likes/dislikes, pursuits/goals, wants/desires & like values... so, there are men out there who are interested in women their own age... ;)...just one less now...hehehe...loves ya baby...
cata | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/20/2008 8:40:59 AM | In my opinion, anybody that would restrict their decision on dating to the woman being younger than them is a poor candidate for long-term dating anyway. These days there are people over 45 that take greater care of their physical conditioning and personal appearance than many teenagers. More importantly, successful relationships are far more likely with people that have similar interests and compatible personalities than with people that fall within certain age ranges. It may just be me, but limiting yourself to women that are 40 or younger (when you're 63) sounds like the perfect way to spend most of your evenings alone!  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:19:20 AM | Hey there Stargazer
This guy is obsessed by young women because he can't handle being 63. It's true a lot of guys look for that "young woman" to massage their ego, and it is flattering to have a chronolocially young woman date you. And some guys are just looking for the sexual conquest.
But if you were 53, fit, good looking, good company, financially secure, and well educated I would jump at the opportunity to date you. At 60 I have dated women between 40 and 57. They are all wonderful in their own unique way. This guy and those who think like him are really missing out.
What I look for is someone who has what I call umphh, zing, enthusiasm, humour and perhaps that unique intangible thing (called attraction I think). There are a lot super women between 45 and 60. What I don't like is women who have "settled in" for the rest of their lives or women who are looking for the perfect guy, because he doesn't exist.
My actions would not say "mostly valid" , but I may be in the minority.
Good luck | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:19:31 AM | Hey there Stargazer
This guy is obsessed by young women because he can't handle being 63. It's true a lot of guys look for that "young woman" to massage their ego, and it is flattering to have a chronolocially young woman date you. And some guys are just looking for the sexual conquest.
But if you were 53, fit, good looking, good company, financially secure, and well educated I would jump at the opportunity to date you. At 60 I have dated women between 40 and 57. They are all wonderful in their own unique way. This guy and those who think like him are really missing out.
What I look for is someone who has what I call umphh, zing, enthusiasm, humour and perhaps that unique intangible thing (called attraction I think). There are a lot super women between 45 and 60. What I don't like is women who have "settled in" for the rest of their lives or women who are looking for the perfect guy, because he doesn't exist.
My actions would not say "mostly valid" , but I may be in the minority.
Good luck | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:21:15 AM | Interesting thread...
I read a profile recently and he said "Age is of little consequence to me. It is the spirit of the person that defines their position in life, not a date on a calender. I'm not going to tell you I look tens years younger than my age because I don't know that to be true. Only the person looking at your soul can determine what you look like. I'm open to meeting you not your age."
what an enlighted statement if you ask me. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:38:04 AM | | Can only speak for myself here but Long term as in the rest of my days IS what Id love to find. Attraction? of course, age? Dont care. Hear how hard it is to find a good man, same goes for findin a good woman believe me ladies. Was married 25 years miss having that special someone. Also met someone that lied, ripped me off stomped my heart an stole my dog now that I could have lived without for sure but this is planet earth and poo do happen. Live on, life is short. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:57:55 AM | The fool then proceeds to tell me that the reason he disappeared last year was that he hooked up with a 38 year old, that he thought he had needed someone younger. Well, he then had a hard attack and what did Little Miss Thing do?
Funny funny on that ' hard attack'
Totally off subject, but I remembered talking to my attorney when I was divorcing my ex. I informed him that the ex was living with a 26 yr old and he cracked up saying I didn't need a divorce, just wait six months and I'd be a widow! lol | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:16:22 AM | '..gazer' ..
*NOT!*....
If you Look less than 40...and are Fit enough for a 30-yr-old....
Kindly offer Me an invitation to Coffee, sometime...!!
My Honeymoon was tragically terminated...at 5 years...
[ We planned for at Least 20!! ]
. .    . . | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:52:54 PM | | I am a woman just 61 this June and men on pof seem to pass me by. I know not why. I think men on pof are looking foir someone who is not there, at least in the reality of life in the real world. I have posted recent pictures, all close enough to show that I have a face! Some men here post a picture that sometimes you have to fill in the gaps to form a reasonable picture. I have tried to in 1000 words or less give a overview of my personality. When there is someone who wants to correspond, it is like pulling teeth! I must say after several, 10 or more, messages I get frustrated with no real information to carry on further. I know some men are shy, but come on give up some personal trivia to start! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:54:35 PM | I am soon to be 62.I have dated younger and older.The younger men grew up with mothers who worked and treat women differently.The older ones have a different out look about women.I like guys from 5 years younger to 3 years older.Life experience is what makes for a good relationship.Some say there is a shortage of men in my age range I have found this is not true.
I think there would be a lot more men 60 an above interested in dating older women if the older women would take care of themselves.Watch their weight,take pride in the way they dress and stay involved in life.Staying involved is a way to stay young at heart.Gives you something to talk about that is exciting. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:26:57 PM | I have to agree with Motownman, If your a man and you want to bring more children into the world you have to have a partner who wants that also. I frankly would want someone who wants to have free time to travel, and do all the thing I had to put off raising my child.
So in that case that one point would have a significant effect on the choice of partner, and age preference. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:01:41 AM | | It was probably the hard attack that gave him the heart attack in the first place. I don't even want to think about Freud in a slip. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/13/2008 4:55:08 AM | Most of the women I talk to tell me that many of the men they've dated over the age of about 48 have a little problem in the bedroom, so I can understand why some women want to date younger men. Of course those that believe this is a universal problem miss out on the best catch in Michigan ....me. As for men dating younger women, well if you looked at the 50 somethings and saw what passed for "average" around here you might understand it's not a matter of "can do", it's a matter of "want to".
With a daughter of 35, I can't look at women that young and have any interest. And women younger than about 48 tend to have children at home and I'm long past that stage of my life. So I stick to my age range, generally early 50's but I've met some remarkable women that were 60 as well. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:10:40 AM | | I recently read an article on MSN that stated that a over 40, white, educated female has a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than ever getting married. Somewhat depressing and harsh. I wonder how much validity there is to this, I believe we all could get married again if we lowered our standards. Getting married is easy, the hard part is finding someone that you are compatible with long term. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:15:37 AM | Dear Stargazer:
Things are as they are. An insecure male like most insecure females are not looking for a good challenge. Nothing is free and unless you have your priorities inline seldome do you succeed. Keep your goal inline. Most men, like women are looking for that perfect body, no challenge and lots of the all mighty dollar? You go girl, there are men out there who prefer not to train and want to communicate and enjoy mentally as well as physically. Find that honest person and who knows, he might just be the right guy or even better a friend too! I am in a similar situation and will not settle; 55 going on 35. Just find the man who will let you be you and if in turn you can appreciate his position life could be beautiful and lots of fun! Consideration and communication are key! Don't sweat the small stuff, Have an AWSOME Life! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:01:58 PM | | Sorry I apparently don't know how this thing works, (I do know how to drive, really) LOL. But my response was to some idiot male about 40 who posted something about liking younger women not to the lovely women above and below me. (He had apparently not looked in the mirror) I don't know where this will end up, but let's see. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/14/2008 1:19:58 AM | | perhaps you should change your name - guys might find a 61 year old dico-doll a trifle embarrassing.....:) | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:00:48 PM | I'm not shallow, but I have found post menopausal ( I can never spell that dam word) woman, to have a lower sexual drive... I mean a MUCH lower sexual drive. I've been in two relationships that include THE CHANGE and it is a change. So when a guy goes for a younger girl, I think its because she treats him differently, see's him differently, and she responds differently to his advances and courting. THE CHANGE is womens revenge on men..  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:38:42 PM | You spelled the word menopausal right but you got the "lower sexual drive" concept wrong. Two relationships does not constitute an accurate survey.
The CHANGE is womens revenge on men.
Then what is erectile dysfunction? Revenge on women? Give me a break! | |
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