| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:41:08 PM | I'm 51 and have been on the single's list for 8 months now. I can only tell you that I approached the dating game again with one thing in mind... and I'm deadly serious about this. I wanted a woman who would be affectionate toward me; too long with a cold wife. To my surprise I have encounted many loving woman in eith chat or met.
So like a hierachy of needs, my first needs certainly seems it will be met, so I move to my next need. And I was surprised to find this... that I'm attracted to woman who are modern in their attitude to a relationship. I was dating a woman older than me, part of the reason I ended it was because she was a woman of the late sixties, not today. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/10/2009 10:36:42 PM | i have a lot of trouble meeting eligible men in their 50s. i know they are "out there somewhere"......but where?
there seem to be a lot of fun loving, intelligent males on pof.......maybe the man i seek is always at home , tucked up and safe with his computer so my chances of ever meeting "him" are minimal!
as far as age goes......i seem to get on well with men a few years older or younger than myself. to me it comes down to compatibility and sex appeal, especially sex appeal! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/11/2009 12:31:32 PM | Where I live, most men I have talked to prefer dating at least 15 to20 years younger.
But the problem is that generally speaking, a man that much older normally doesn`t have the stamina to keep up to someone that much younger unless he is really in good shape and takes care of himself, plus, usally women are not all that attracted to old men unless they are looking at the financial gain. But the guys herre don`t care, long as she is hot, young and a great body. They realize that it is going to cost them more to buy the services and attentions of a hot young thang. But the way they look at it, why drive a Chevy if you can afford a Porche. Just how it is here, for the most part. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/12/2009 12:01:50 PM | there seems to be a lot of bullshine on here about age and rvs im 58 drive an artic still jump up and down my 40ft trailer and am fitter than most 30 yr old office lads i also own an old 1972 camper and am mechanic on a 1976 jensen healey race car.as for ladies age is in their heads you can have a 40yr old who is 21 in their thinking and 21yr olds who are 70 in their heads give me a mature lady anytime whatever her age in years    | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:44:04 PM | | If this is how you feel, you should remove the age limitation for women who email you. I listed you as a favorite but cannot message you because you have a limitation or your profile that excludes me because I am two years older than you chronologically. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:07:29 AM | | Love, I don't know what meds the docs have mis-prescribed for your male acquaintances, but they need an intervention. I would much rather be with one of the lovely 40-50-60 something ladies that grace this site... more sense and less headaches than the flitty younger girls. A woman of experience has more mind of what she needs in her life, over "things" she wants. If you're meeting guys that say otherwise, clap 'em up along the ear and send 'em on their way! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/20/2009 3:00:46 PM | This has not been my experience. I am a 55 y/o male and I regularly send emails to women in the 45-62 range. The issue is not age, it's how well you're holding up. I'm in great physical shape (better than most 40 y/o men) and I expect my dates to be the same. I think I look young for my age (don't we all) but the main thing is I exercise a lot, have a very active lifestyle and a career I love. I'm no kid, but a lot of 50+ women look like Barbara Bush (who people used to mistake for her husband's mother.) They let themselves go in terms of weight, conditioning, clothes, makeup, etc. ( I know many men do too!) Plus, if a woman is retired or a homebody, we're not going to have much to talk about.
I hear women often saying "aging is different for men and women...men are allowed to grow old gracefully"...this is nonsense! A sloppy out of shape guy is not growing old gracefully. The rules are the same.
I often meet women 10 years younger than me that have a lot more wrinkles than me! I don't use any products to fight wrinkles...I just try to live a healthy lifestyle.
So it's not your age, it's how you present yourself to the world! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/20/2009 3:15:08 PM | I just love it when self confident men are able to put into words what a superior specimen, how special they are. That way, women don`t have to take time to decide
whether they deem them attractive, young, vital, or desirable.We don`t even have to think. We have been already told by them how remarkable they are and so lucky we are that they grace our presence! What a wonderful evening filled with testimonials of self adulation, await us when we are granted audience with such a special man!!!!!!!!!!!! My idea of a really really great evening!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/20/2009 6:55:37 PM | | I just love it when a 7 foot tall giant bald woman from Alaska tells me off (really that's what her/his profile says)! You're probably not even a woman...what's with the no pic...this is a dating site not a BLIND dating site... | |
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JTJ46
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Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 1486 | |
| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:25:24 PM | Dear "Deeech" and "Desert Wildflower",
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! And did i type LOLOLOLOL??? Thanks! It's been a long working Tuesday. Your last two posts have just sent me off to bed in a fit of giggles. You two rock | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:18:58 PM | I find ladies over 45 to be too set in their likes and dislikes and less likely to be adventurous. I also think that men are generally more likely to forget (or pretend to forget ) and move on faster from their past relationships at this age (and most of us, regardless of gender would have had at least one long-termish relationship by the time we get to our 40's).
As a result, women tend to have more baggage carried over and tend to look for current relationships which either exactly fit some of that and/or are the exact opposite of the significant people in their past relationship(s). The chances of hitting the right mark with a lady in that age group would be extremely low therefore. They gradually become more open and adventurous in later years which, on the other hand, exposes them to tricksters, especially the younger crowd, who prey on their current naivity.
In other words a 45 or thereabouts year old male is subconsciously aware of his opposite gender peer's self restrictions and doubts if he would be able to be the exact fit for what the lady wants. Nature only provides two routes of escape where you are unable to or are incapable of changing a belief or a situation - flight or apathy.
An apathetic relations is a no go so most have only one alternative - flight!
So, probably ladies in that age group should become a little bit faster in moving on and/or be more flrexible | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:37:13 PM | I haven't read Judsen Culbreth's Boomers and Dating but I know research has shown that cross gender communication between males and females is at it's best when the lady is roughly half the mans age plus ten at the time of courtship or at first encounter leading to a relationship. It's for this reason,for example, that a 16 year old girl would rationalise that her 18 year old boyfriend is reckless, a 45 year old male his 42 year old girlfriend too controlling, a 42 year old female complaining about her 45 year old boyfriend being too childish, unsettled, etc
Try to use the Communication formular:
F=0.5M + 10 ; where F is the ideal female age and M is the male age.
hence;
a 40 year old man is communicatively more suited to be with a 30 year old female at courtship or at first encounter leading to a relationship,
a 10 year old boy with a 15 year old girl,
a 70 year old male with a 45 year old female
etc
hence the factual myth that when men grow past forty, they prefer females chronologically much younger than them ( although it forgets to state that it's for communicative purposes and that the reason is NOT necessarily a middle-age crisis!)
So, according to that formula, the best woman for a 45 year old man would be about 32 years of age. As they say, everything in creation must obey the natural law and if you draw examples from your experience, you will find that this theory is generally correct.
Anyone disputing the theory? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/21/2009 3:31:59 AM | man, you need to quit reading books and theories about inter-gender communication and meet some new ladies.
I'm glad you threw in that the formula you put in there was a theory, because it seems drawn from anecdote, not actual study of real people. Unless the study was done in a small town with lots of older men and younger women limiting the dating pool.
If a 42 year old woman complains about her 45 year old boyfriend, then they're just not a match, and they should move on. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/21/2009 3:08:43 PM | | Personaly I dont get it, I can't be the only man in pof who makes it mandatory to be of the same age group. And I dont mind saying age only matters when she is too young. I want a more mature realationship so I want a more mature woman. Personaly I dont know why they would run from somone they can really be with for a long term relantionship. I will read on. good luck | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/24/2009 2:38:40 PM | Seriously, IFAZADI, what does a 45 year old and a 70 year old have in common??? Do you suggest that all the 50+ ladies sign off and start a Ladies Losers Club? I am almost 58.........so according to your suggested theory maybe I should be knocking on Assisted Living Facillities to find a date?
I think people need to date who they are most comfortable with. Personally, I prefer someone a just couple of years older than me. Someone in my generation will most likely share the same likes and dislikes as myself and possibly have been through similar situtations.
As far as the lady who started this.......the man you spoke with was not well informed. I get mail every week from guys of all ages from their 20's to their late 60's and some are from guys in their mid 40's. I personally think the key thing to look for in a person ,as far as age goes, is emotional maturity. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:11:53 PM | What?Who is this idiot you're talking too?Maybe what he was 'thinking' was you're too good for most men(including him) and wanted to torpedo you with what he 'said'.
Maybe men in our age group have tired of meeting the advertised level of "Admirable" in a womans eyes and just want to go at our own pace anymore.
"Can't play Chopin on the piano,aint easing into a comfortable retirement,didn't save the world and didn't make the Masters Cup Race this year...Damn,who will have me?"
This may be the kinds of things men think when they encounter a woman like you.I also think there are demographics that many people fall into that makes finding a relationship difficult.Your demograph would be particularly frustrating because it sounds like you have alot to offer,few heavy encumberances, a developed emotionality and you've put honest effort into becoming who you are only to find the current situation as the clock ticks.The ability to say "F/it" and really mean it has its empowering value.
You could also e-mail me!  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:02:09 AM | | I think the guys are fooling themselves when they say age is just a number. It may be when they're dating, but it's different when they think about long term. I've had many offers from 20 and 30 year olds, but I know it's just for the experience. They would never consider me for the long haul, and they are usually pretty immature. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/28/2009 11:11:45 AM | | I don't think I can define it properly and I really hate to use a Hollywood cliche,but we'll start with the term Complete and try to gell it into a better word.A "Complete" relationship with a woman to me would be with a woman near my own age because we grew up in the same world,and if you remember the 60's and 70's there was alot of cool stuff going on yet there was a grounding in a safer world our parents and there parents set the tone for.We could ride our bicycles all night long and never worry about predators,the beach was pristine,etc..I can reclaim that past in a sense,with a woman my own age.Also I think the spirit is made to find its rightful place next to another spirit of its age...a matter of place,soul respect and honoring ones self and ones other when one couples in age appropriateness.But i'm talking about something like Completeness.Formerly as a creator of things there was great satisfaction in finishing a project.To finish searching for an other and to live in a state of satisfaction and rythm of course is what coupling should or could be about...OK so heres a new word - "Finishfactionythm",Huh?Huh?..No?OK well you make up a word!...(and define it) | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 1/31/2009 11:08:33 PM | | I am slightly amazed at the generalizations people state in their own name without any regard to facts or any degree of humility. For a person, male or female to prejudge someone simply on their age or other such criteria is more a statement of their own shortcomings then the subjective opinion they are trying to pass off as gospel. My father taught me many things, among them was that "We say more about ourselves when we speak of others." Another favorite of his was "Be thankful for what you have and thank God you don't get what you deserve." I'm still learning from you Dad, thanks. m | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:19:37 PM | If you 40 and 50 year olds think that you are having trouble, you should try my age 73.
I am physically and mentally very much younger than my years and my friends are younger.
However if someone who doesn't know my age finds out, zip, he's gone.
I've been kicked to the curb so many times that I have a permanent dent in my head.
But ya know, I keep coming back and I will until I land me a 'cute young thang'.  | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 2/7/2009 8:45:22 AM | | shaddypie, you are my IDOL! I love your spirit! You are gorgeous and looking much younger than 73. You might get lucky with a decent mature man or you might say:" The hell with the old farts!" and switch teams. That way you might be more appreciated. You would be surprised how many ladies over 40 look for love among their own gender. As some would say: " Why buy a pig for a little sausage?????" | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 2/7/2009 3:35:09 PM | | Absolutely have run into the same issue! I was just told by a man on one of these sites that he would take me out for a night if I'd "put out" but asked why he would want to court a woman of 54 when he could date someone 40. (He is 60 by the way.) | |
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