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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 7:31:56 PM | Thorn??
I agree with you 100%, I am 60 yrs old and i dont problem getting or being asked for a date, its me who is picky and if I am still single its not because i cant find a date, its hard to find a fine decent man now a days. I think age is just a number, i am still full of energy and my body dont sag, I do firmed up since i have been doing body pump 2-3 times a week. Thank you for your input on this thread. lucilou    | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 8:12:24 PM | lucilou;
All I can say is I'm not surprised you're turning guys away. It seems it's getting more common for people of both genders to look so good at greater ages. It's just too bad we're so far apart---and I think I might be a little old for you;-) LOL. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 8:18:30 PM | Why will you "IagoGuys" not consider long term romance with woman your own age whose educational, emotional, financial, and physical attributes are very complementary to your own?
Well, here I are, the "IagoGuy"....
If you look back at my responses to your OP, you'll see that there is nowhere that I state that I would never consider an LTR with a woman my age, even a bit older. As a matter of fact, if I met a woman who was compatible of no matter what age, I'd have no problem having some sort of relationship with her.
But, to clarify a couple of things:
1. Men, generally, will almost invariably choose a younger woman because, MOST of us, prefer to have sex with women who have fewer wrinkles, fewer parts giving up the fight against gravity, and many more parts that feel really nice and firm.
2. The sex appeal of younger women has very little to do with their ability to have kids.
3. Younger women are a lot of fun, laugh at our stupid jokes, and, generally speaking, are a lot less bitter than older women. This is always refreshing since many of us older guys have our own experiences which have led us to be at least a bit jaded and bitter.
4. Many women over 40 are overweight (and, yeah, yeah, so are many men) and generally speaking, men will choose thinner over thicker. Thinner will always be my choice. And, no, for all those wondering, I do not look only for women who are skin a bones.
5. As alluded to in another point above, many women over 40 tend to have really bad attitudes about men. Many men have bad, bitter and nasty attitudes as well, so why would we want to hang out with bitter, nasty women?
6. Personally, I think that love between men and women is exceedingly rare these days, I don't trust my choice in women and have no expectation of ever "being in love" again. So, if I'm going to get into any sort of relationship it will be with someone whom I find sexually enticing and fun or I simply can't be bothered.
7. The delusions and bullshit of both sexes is astounding. Women believe that there actually is a guy out there who can possibly meet all of their unrealistic list of attributes. Men think that there are actually women out there who accept them for who they are, who will always look great and will want to have sex with them on demand. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 8:38:52 PM | I've dated women close to my own age, and I've dated women much, much younger. There are reasons for each, and different dynamic with each. All things being equal, I would prefer to be in a relationship, with someone who shares the same general sense of history, that I don't share with a woman in her 20s. All things aren't always equal, though, and I'd much, much rather spend that time with a positive, optimistic person, regardless of her age, to someone who is negative, angry, bitter, unattractive, and sexually inhibited/conflicted/controlling.
Since I've been on POF, I've primarily "looked for" someone within reasonable proximity of being of "my generation", the baby boomers. The last thing that I have had as a focus is "age". It's about how we get along, how naturally compatible, and if there is a sexual attraction. I'm not interested in "bearing the sins" of all men in the past, or being "guilty" of things I haven't done, until proven innocent.
Mostly on POF, I have been talking to women well past 40, women who are open and interesting, and reasonably attractive. So, in reference to the OP, I think your friend was wrong, and it was a gross over-generalization. There are a lot of men like me, though, who will follow the path of least resistance. In the back of my mind, I might hope to find that rare 47 year old woman, with whom there is compatibility in the most important areas, combined with sexual tension. On the other hand, if "she's" not there, and a 29 year old comes along, who IS those things, I don't have a problem letting life go where it takes me. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 8:52:38 PM | Just my opinion and............I am not a 40 to 60 something male but..........I am a woman 57. I only know when 2 people are attracted to each other "Why is the physical aspect or a number even considered?" I can not believe this would matter at all.
Just my opinion is all | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 9:01:32 PM | Nicebluiz????  I think I like you, but you are way much too young for me, distant is not a problem for me,. Again thanks , | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 9:05:00 PM |
I am a woman 57. I only know when 2 people are attracted to each other "Why is the physical aspect or a number even considered?" I can not believe this would matter at all.
The "physical" is part of attraction, if you are referring to that, and if you mean "sexual", when you say physical, without that, what's the point of a relationship? | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 9:11:18 PM |
I cant tell you ho many 53 year olds think they look 40 and are as fit as a 30 year old.
what a bunch of crappppp.. sorry I lost interest in the rest after reading that malarky
I take umbrage to that statement! I'm just past fifty but all my closest friends assure me I can easily pass for forty nine and a half! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 9:13:45 PM | GentleCanuck wrote:"When I was seventeen, my girlfriend had a son who was one year old than me"
That would be a little weird for me on several levels.
As for the OP's question I think that "friend" who said women over 45 don't have a chance was wrong.I have met some beautiful and fun older women...it's all about their personality and view on life that matters.
If he was refering to having kids then yes a man would seek a younger mate. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 9:51:54 PM | | personally i am 54 soon to be 54 and i would love to be able to know you.Each and every person is different. You look much younger and i believe there are a few younger guys that would love to tangle with you. My thought on that though is that younger guys would be after one thing and only one thing from you. hate to be so harsh but you would be a dime a dozen for a good young guy. It would depend on what the guy is looking for. Equal looks and Monet and all said take the older guy. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 10:39:21 PM | | I don't look 55 and I get women 10-15 years younger looking at me, but the truth is I don't care about someones age. Be at least over 40 and under 65, the rest is chemistry, when a man finds a woman he can't live without he'll move mountains to make it happen. Love happens when you least expect it and from left field, fat or fugly, trim or slender, we all want that other person to love us for who we are not a #. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/8/2007 11:45:28 PM | Stargazer
i look at this way doll age is a number and mine is unlisted --LOL
if a man is attractive and interested in me as a person not just a sex object his age is not a problem everyone is different we all have qualities that someone will love just hang in there you will find a man right for you and he may be 35 or 65 who cares if he is good to you and respects you enjoy it | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/9/2007 1:48:42 AM | well stargazer, Im turning 51 in about a month, and Ive been finding it really HARD to meet a woman around my own age thats even remotly interested in meeting me. Now I'm not claiming to be gods gift to women by any means. But its been my experience at least, generally in the past couple years especially, women much younger than me show MUCH more interest.
Personally I find women my age VERY sexy, especially if they take care of themselves. Believe it or not, even though flattering and a big boost to my male ego, I'm really not interested in someone 20 years younger. | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:51:51 AM |
Well.... yeah, to be blunt, generally speaking, we will always look for younger. We will fall in love with someone older and occasionally have a long-term relationship with women who are 'older', but even then the younger ones will always be more appealing sexually.
Just as women will 'settle' for a guy who makes less money or isn't that real alpha-type, men can be realistic as well.
There are exceptions, of course, as there always are on both sides of the fence, but what you friend told you is pretty well on the mark if the majority chooses to be honest.
And what would make you think the young ones would find older men more sexually appealing than younger ones? Besides, you obviously haven't met too many of today's 40+ and 50+ women...the majority of them are intelligent, mature, interesting, have tons of interests, stilmulating - intellectually and physically, financially stable, and are looking for companionship - not someone to take care of them...and most aren't willing to settle (unless they're the desperate type, which comes in all ages). And some people wonder why some of us haven't been married yet  With the attitudes *some* men have, it's pretty obvious why we prefer being single, lol.
I prefer a younger woman (early to mid 30's) because she still has some time left on her biological clock if we both choose to have kids.But,if I met the right one, age wouldn't be a factor at all.Lots of beautiful older women out there...inside and out.
At least you're honest enough to go for who you fall in love with regardless of age and breeding ability. Some guys have a huge hang-up about having biological kids. Consider this also...new studies have shown that men's sperm starts to degrade at age 35; that this could be why there are more birth defects, miscarriages, etc....and not just due to the age of the woman's egss (new studies are also showing that women may produce new eggs; that maybe we weren't born with all of them). So if one wants kids, then they had better start earlier than 35 or be prepared ot have to use assistance (IVF, surrogates, etc.). Also, there are no guarantees that a younger women is able to have kids simply because she's younger. Many younger women are being found to have problems that preclude them from having children; chlamydia is a big issue, as are endometriosis and POD. | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 8:11:04 AM |
and most aren't willing to settle (unless they're the desperate type, which comes in all ages). And some people wonder why some of us haven't been married yet With the attitudes *some* men have, it's pretty obvious why we prefer being single, lol.
... but that is exactly the point I was trying to make, in that why should MEN settle for a woman who is older if he finds younger women more physically appealing?
Many of US would prefer to stay single as well.
Are we deluded that younger women will find them attractive? Yes, in many cases.
Are women our ages deluded that they still 'have it' compared to younger women? Yes, in many cases. | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 10:33:28 AM |
... but that is exactly the point I was trying to make, in that why should MEN settle for a woman who is older if he finds younger women more physically appealing?
Many of US would prefer to stay single as well.
Are we deluded that younger women will find them attractive? Yes, in many cases.
Are women our ages deluded that they still 'have it' compared to younger women? Yes, in many cases.
Actually, you stated that younger ones would be more sexually appealing...I completely disagree with that one. And I disagree with your 'many'; it should be 'some' - unless you've surveyed the majority of men and owmen in the world. Women, and men, of all ages can be sexually and/or physically appealing to others, and many older men and women have always "had it" and still do. Besides, some older women are much more confident, comfortable, and secure in themselves and their bodies; they generally have more experience and recognize a good lover vs a bad one and aren't content with a 5 minute man (maybe that's why some youngun's don't like older women, lol)...and maybe it's a lack of confidence and self-esteem on one's part when they can't simply take someone for who they are, not what age they are.
Just as an example - who doesn't think Sandra Bullock, Diane Lane, Heather Locklear, Monica Bellucci, Michelle Pfeiffer, Vanessa Williams, Rene Russo, Lauren Holly, Juliette Binoche, Salma Hayek, and Jaclyn Smith are much better looking physically and sexually than youngun's like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Loghan, Britney Spears, Kirsten Dunst, Maggie Gylenhaal, Hillary Duff, etc.?
, | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 10:51:09 AM |
Actually, you stated that younger ones would be more sexually appealing...I completely disagree with that one. And I disagree with your 'many'; it should be 'some' - unless you've surveyed the majority of men and owmen in the world. Women, and men, of all ages can be sexually and/or physically appealing to others, and many older men and women have always "had it" and still do.
Well, yes, the majority of men of all ages will find younger women more sexually/physically appealing. And, yes, there are some men and women who have always 'had it' and still do. I agree with you.
But, what I think you and many other women do not understand is that being " ...much more confident, comfortable, and secure in themselves and their bodies;... " does not necessarily translate to sex appeal to many men. Those qualities in general are very attractive if a guy is looking for a LTR with a woman. But don't fool yourself that on initial contact that those things are what men find attractive and sexually appealing.
I think that the makers of Viagra are really happy that older women are not as sexually appealing as younger women. 
And, some of the women you mention I have no idea who they are, but the older ones you mention are still good looking and beautiful etc, but sexually appealing compared with some of the young hot bodies at the beach or the young hot starlettes? Nope. Not to me and I'd bet dollars to donuts it is the same for MOST men of any age. | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/9/2007 11:03:05 AM | | Sorry but that guy is an idiot....lol! I talk to a lot of guys in their late 50's and 60's and they are intresting and a lot to offer to a conversation... Sounds like the guy you met iwas being a little bitter.. and taking it out on you.... You'll find Mr. Right when you recognize Mr. Wrong...! lol... I learned a long time ago when someone is saying something I find negative... look to the source... Afterall what's his opinion got to do with the price of fish! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/9/2007 11:26:56 AM | I love reading all these generalizations about the dating proclivities of age groups and genders….lol.
I'm personally not interested in someone 10 or more years younger or older than me (not that I have 20-something Victoria's Secret models or classy, sophisticated 60-somethings breaking down my door). There's just too much of a gap in cultural identification, maturity, and life stage development.
If people can date way outside their own age, fine, but the motives should be love, chemistry, and compatibility, not lust, ego, lifelong fascination with big age differences, or mommy/daddy complexes. People should always think about dating within their own age group "first", and not "automatically" zero in on sweet young things, sugar daddies, or older, mentor types. You do the latter and it tells me you've got some psychological and emotional issues you're either clueless about or suppressing.
At least for people my age or older, dating responsibly is called being MATURE, but unfortunately I see a lot of kids that apparently haven't grown up. | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 12:28:45 PM |
But, what I think you and many other women do not understand is that being " ...much more confident, comfortable, and secure in themselves and their bodies;... " does not necessarily translate to sex appeal to many men. Those qualities in general are very attractive if a guy is looking for a LTR with a woman. But don't fool yourself that on initial contact that those things are what men find attractive and sexually appealing.
I think that the makers of Viagra are really happy that older women are not as sexually appealing as younger women.
And, some of the women you mention I have no idea who they are, but the older ones you mention are still good looking and beautiful etc, but sexually appealing compared with some of the young hot bodies at the beach or the young hot starlettes? Nope. Not to me and I'd bet dollars to donuts it is the same for MOST men of any age.
I guess it all depends on what one is looking for a woman for...if one only wants a warm body for sex, then sure, they'll go for their idea of what the hottest body it - especially if it's not that intelligent or mature yet, because God forbid they have any substance to them and want to actually talk in addition to screw! lol...And while looking at pretty scenery is one thing, one can only look at it for so long without needing more...and since most young ones aren't going to give it away to someone old enough to be their father, all one gets to do is look...and some young women prefer men who don't have continual ED problems or needs a little blue pill to handle it. If these guys want to enjoy, they need to find a woman who's willing to take on an older guy; but then, there are some older women who aren't that into older men either...Age isn't always a sign of maturity and intelligence. Maybe if people would start taking others for who they are rather than what they look like or how old/young they are, things would be a lot better...but waiting for that to happen is like waiting for the second coming.
Who do you think takes Viagra? Sure, some young men do - which is pretty stupid, IMO, considering the bad side effects it has...but many of those in their target audience of >65 are doing it with their wives and/or girlfriends/partners. Any young ones doing it would be doing it with people areound thei rwon age if we follow typical dating patterns. And while I'm sure there's the exceptions of the sugar daddies with their younger women, they don't make up the bulk of it.
http://www.usrf.org/elsevier/url.html#STAT
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/1998/9810.cottle.viagra.html
Excellent article.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9804E1DD153CF937A25751C1A9659C8B63&sec=health&spon=&pagewanted=print
Article that shows just how insecure some people are.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/04/business/yourmoney/04impotence.html?ex=1184126400&en=9a013e1bdd955a5e&ei=5070
Sales of Impotence Drugs Fall, Defying Expectations | |
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notard
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 171 | |
| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 12:29:20 PM | | In response to message 182, I'll take Paris Hilton anytime anywhere over Sandra Bullock (ugh!)! | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 12:50:12 PM |
In response to message 182, I'll take Paris Hilton anytime anywhere over Sandra Bullock (ugh!)!
Msg 187 - but Paris doesn't meet the criteria you outlined in your profile! | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 1:10:30 PM |
Who do you think takes Viagra? Sure, some young men do - which is pretty stupid, IMO, considering the bad side effects it has...but many of those in their target audience of >65 are doing it with their wives and/or girlfriends/partners. Any young ones doing it would be doing it with people areound thei rwon age if we follow typical dating patterns. And while I'm sure there's the exceptions of the sugar daddies with their younger women, they don't make up the bulk of it.
Sorry, you missed my (too subtle?) point.... in that many (older) men who feel the need for Viagra would not need it as much if they were having sex with a young, hot, sexy woman.
And, I really think one of the things that makes it seem that we aren't 'communicating' here is that, like many women, you are using a female yard-stick to measure what men find sexy, sexually appealing, and what attributes we, as men, find attractive.
Here's an example from my own experience and will illustrate why I never take dating advice or accept a blind date set up by a woman:
The mother of one of my sons told me one time that she had a friend who would be perfect for me. This same mother assured me that she had set a lot of people up and her match-making skills were pretty good. I told her, no thanks. She let it go, but I got an invitation to a BBQ at her house one nice summer night. This friend she thought was 'perfect' for me was there. One look at this woman and I was not interested at all. She was not physically attractive in any way for me. Sure, she was nice enough and stuff, though she was pissed to the gills, but I had zero sexual or physical attraction for her. I could not have enjoyed seeing her naked no matter how marvelous her personality was. Ever. She was about my age, fat, too much make-up and short. Age is ok, but the other bits just don't do it for me.
And here's another one:
Back when I still dated and browsed profiles, I came across a profile of an attractive woman close to my age. She lived in my area. Great. I read her profile... lots of common interests, sounded like she had her shit together, intelligent, a bit of wit etc...
... then I saw this line (or something close to it) near the end of the profile " I'm not going to be anyone's trophy, so if that's what you're looking for, keep looking..."
I was astounded... here's a woman 45+ and she's afraid some guy is going to think she's a trophy, which maybe she would be for a guy who's 65-70.... or some fat, broke loser. I thought that that was pretty arrogant of her. Great self-esteem and all, cool, but I was one who kept moving.
Anyway.... I think too many women measure attractiveness in a different way than men do and I think both sexes are equally delusional in what they value in a mate in comparison with their own relative value in the eyes of the opposite sex. | |
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| Speaking for me personally...
Posted: 7/9/2007 1:39:19 PM | LOLOLOLOLOL, Dear Iago (and Iagoguys),
We know that you know that love ain't just a four letter word!
And you know what? Methinks thou doth protest too much!
Me also thinks that if you met Your Woman, you would go down like that proverbial ton of bricks made out of straw. And age would have far less to do with it than the most powerful organ in the male body: your human brain.
Or as Billy Joel says,
You may be right.
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're lookin' for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong
For all i know
You may be right
Seriously though. There's something outrageously kickass straightforward lovable about you. It's hard to know whether you need your mouth washed out with soap (if you're old enough to remember such a thing!) or a heck of a lot more hugging and kissing.
Here's a hug and a bar of Dial (Men's antibacterial) soap. CATCH! | |
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| Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/9/2007 2:17:32 PM | Hi there. I am Joe and I turned 50 this year. Like you I dont look my age. As far as guys dating middle aged women. Well if they look anything like you then I dont think you should have a problem attracting guys. There is love after 40s, 50s, & 60's. We just have to be patent. I have experienced a few age things but nothing like what that told you.
Sounds like he is using that so you will submit to his needs or something. But dont let him het to you. That was a cruel thing to say. | |
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