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 Author Thread: Losing faith in women...
 nancy8615

Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 99
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Losing faith in women...
Posted: 2/20/2007 7:07:23 PM
gonna sound strange,but some females feel that is an easier let down, and i guess at times we lack the consideration to be totally up front and say, hey im not interested.but guys do the same thing, they say, ill call you and never do.
 PickyProfessional

Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 100
Losing faith in women...
Posted: 2/20/2007 9:09:16 PM
to msg 6: i think you're right in some cases, but in other cases, from the first e-mail if someone isn't super interested, but thinks you're in their range (yet on the lower end of your range), they'll sometimes string you along for a while - just in case. they're not all that interested, but they don't want to cut off the option in case... i hate to admit it, but i've done just that to people. i never meant to hurt them. i just kinda figured the person barely knew me, so how could it bother the person much...plus, i figured i really didn't owe an almost stranger anything. i quit doing it mainly because, over time and enough people, i came to realize if i wasn't super interested from the 1st (max 2nd) e-mail, i was never going to be interested, so why even string a "maybe" along? adding to that, i dated a number of people with the same idea. after a few times with different guys sitting at dinner, at a movie, or whatever, i'd find myself thinking "why i am i here with this guy for whom i don't really feel much of an attraction?" a little of it was also trying maybe 3-5 dates to see if i developed more of an interest. i just never did, so now i realize there's no point in e-mailing or dating anyone unless i'm really thrilled with them. i really hate to admit this, but i will: i DID let them kiss me. i didn't want to kiss them, but i figured they'd KNOW i wasn't all that thrilled with them if i didn't kiss them...and i until i was SURE i wasn't interested, i didn't want them to know. at the time, i rationalized it was just a kiss. after kissing 2 or 3 of them and feeling kinda repulsed, i just could never do that again. it wasn't a nice thing to do, but you people want the truth...and that was it in my case.
 PickyProfessional

Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 101
Losing faith in women...
Posted: 2/20/2007 9:26:37 PM
p.s.

i'm not saying these guys were repulsive as people. most of them were, at least, reasonably attractive and had something on the ball, but i just wasn't feeling it. point is: don't get the idea if a woman isn't into you that there's something wrong with YOU. she's just not *super* thrilled. you were acceptable to her, but just not at the top of her wish list...and she finally came to the conclusion "2nd best" will never translate into real interest on her part. it sure cuts down on the number of dates with various guys, but why bother unless you're thrilled?

even though i no longer do that, i don't feel badly about it. you really don't owe one another anything after so few dates...other than a cordial, one-sentence "i'm sorry, but i'm just not that interested." (by the way, i always offered to pay on those types of dates - and usually insisted on it.)
 maryrachelle

Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 102
Losing faith in women...
Posted: 2/20/2007 9:53:32 PM
yeah i had a very similar thing happen but it was a guy . anyway you are going to encounter liars in both sexes so its just a fact that some people men and women are liars . i know you are feeling sore right now but dont throw all women under the bus for the actions of one liar .if i thought that way i would be throwing all men under the bus to . i know though that there are good people out there but sometimes your going to have run ins with the not so great kind .
 Dave42488

Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 103
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Losing faith in women...
Posted: 2/27/2007 7:55:00 PM
dude thats exactly how i feel man, two girls have done this to me, i hate it.
 Seavoyage

Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 104
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Losing faith in women...
Posted: 2/27/2007 8:11:58 PM
I can't explain that girl's behaviour. She wouldn't kiss if she was interested at that moment. However, she has emotional problems and doesn't know what she want and lost interest. Were you two drunk? When you're drunk sometimes people can say things they don't necessarily feel when they are sober and they are just enjoying the moment. Just a thought. I don't necessarily trust the opposite gender when it comes to dating. I find it easier trusting women as friends and just dealing with them on that level unless I find someone I feel is straightforward and communicates pretty much in the same style as me, but there are so many men and women who are liars not just the girls.
One of my girlfriends was dealing with a player and I was trying to get her to keep away from him. So it isn't one gender when it comes to lying.
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