| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/5/2007 6:15:46 AM | Marcus
Will you still allow her to go shopping, There is a RISK she will meet someone at the store that is young and virule. THERE IS A MUCH BIGGER RISK of some random guy at the store SWOOPING in that her friends the both of you know.Do you check out the Salon she goes to. I know guys that become hairdressers and massuers to be close to women in an intmate setting facilitating sexual conquest. The Laundry mat, the doctor, the bartender, Homedepot, All the guys where she works..................
THE POINT IS THIS, All the random men in her life from day to day are much more likely to SWOOP in and TRY to snag your girl than any of her friends that know you both and hang out with you. Her friends sould have respect for her and you. The other men in her daily life don't know, don't care.
Unless you chain her to a bed in a locked, phoneless room........ Your at RISK of some other guy trying to pick her up.
I can't tell you how many people I have known in my life that have your attitude and NOT ONE HAS BEEN HAPPYin a relationship. They can't go two hours with out CHECKING UP on their girl. You try to do something with them but they have to just drive by the SO's work first.
I DON"T GET IT | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 12:37:17 PM | | I disagree. It would be easier to cheat with a friend because she already knows that person. It's easier for her to push away some random guy that tries to hit on her. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 4:28:34 PM | It would be easier/smarter to cheat with a stranger, ........less likely to get caught, less likely to see them talking to your SO, less likely to have guilt (because there are no feeling involved.)
Less likely for a friend to hit on her, random guys will ALWAYS be hitting on women
Real friends have some respect and care about her feelings.
Are youone of these guys that doesn't want to take his girl to clubs and hot spots because he doesn't want men looking at her??? Do you prefer your girl not to work, because close daily contact with coworkers could encourage her to cheat? If so you need a hobby.
From your posts here I cant see you even having a long term relationship unless you find a woman that enjoys being totally subserviant and hates leaving the house for any reason. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 4:47:12 PM |
It's about avoiding unnecessary risk. All it would take is one problem to come up in the realationship to give the guy an opportunity to try to swoop in. Why not just have women friends?
WOMEN CAN HAVE MEN FRIENDS etc etc, but Marcus is right, go ask any therapist or counselor... The catch is, and I dont know why people dont recognize this in all the posts about "men and women friends" is: People in a committed relationship SHOULD NOT HANG AROUND SINGLE PEOPLE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ALONE. The key words are "committed", single, and alone. Talk on the phone until your minutes expire, meet at weddings, etc. But you dont go on "dates" or movies, or alone together at Dinner. And you dont go over to their house alone. IF ITS NO BIG DEAL, TAKE YOUR S.O.....guess what...my GF didn't want me to meet her "ex", said we "had nothing in common", she doesnt even talk to him about me, but I get the "we are just friends lecture" oh yeah, go figure. So, I am about batting 100% on this theory (if you include the other past GF's who got drunk, cheated, or were raped, when alone with their "male friend"). APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING TOO. We don't know what you are doing behind closed doors....I'll bet donuts and a dollar that the next female poster will say "I disagree men and women can be friends", and wont even mention the issue of meeting them alone in private.... | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 4:52:43 PM | Goes back to insecurities. It's not about you having male friends as it is for him to be cool with it. Perhaps you should spend some time reassuring him that you're not going to play around behind his back nor are you going to dump him that way. It's possible he's seen other guys okay with their g/f's male friends and it turned out badly and he's simply afraid you're going to do the same?
Whatever the cause, you need to find out what it is that causes this with him and then fix it. Start by finding out HOW he came to feel this way. Don't ask 'WHY?' as that will challenge him and put him on the defensive but simply ask, "How did you come to feel this way about a woman having male friends?" and maybe he'll open up and tell you.
Just remember to find the root cause for this insecurity THEN address it. Do not try and treat the symptoms like most people do. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:40:03 PM | If your girl doesn't want you to meet her friends (MALE OR FEMALE) I think there is a MUCH BIGGER problem. Trust is not a river.........it cannot only run one way
If a girl didn't want me to meet her friends I don't think we would ever get to the discussion what sex they were. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:16:34 PM | People in relationships encounter people of the opposite sex all the time, as long as they leave the house..  Geez, if they work, have any activities, play a sport, take a class. People who are cheaters are going to find the opportunity and be tempted by many people of the opposite sex. That's something the other person can't control, other to leave or not get involved.
It's not even a matter of self control, I'm just not tempted. Never have been, I'm either happy with the person I'm with or after making an attempt to fix things, I leave. And I used to work in an environment that was mostly male. Woohoo, I don't date people I work with anyway, whether I'm single or not.
Not all of us think with our groin or are controlled by it. Really, people like that exist and I could have handsome, great guys friends, some of them are great looking. They're friends, they know it and we just enjoy it being JUST friends. If your partner has integrity and is faithful then there's no one no way no how they are going to even think about cheating. I'd be insulted if I were mistrusted like some of you talk about. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:27:15 PM |
Are youone of these guys that doesn't want to take his girl to clubs and hot spots because he doesn't want men looking at her???
Not at all. I'm saying her having close male friends will eventually cause problems.
If your girl doesn't want you to meet her friends (MALE OR FEMALE) I think there is a MUCH BIGGER problem.
I agree with this. It would be like she's trying to hide something. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:31:52 PM |
Not at all. I'm saying her having close male friends will eventually cause problems
Trying to cut a girl off from her friends male or female will cause bigger problems faster | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:32:55 PM | | ALL my friends are male and hubby totally accepts that, and he's seen why. Over our 6 yrs of being together, he has seen me/us get screwed over by women, left and right,and non of the behavior from my male friends. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:47:16 AM | | heres the deal you cant hangout with both at the same time even if your just friends well something like that. we want you to our self see a man isalways jeoules even if he says hes not how would you feel if your hangin with him and he picked up this georges babe to hang out with yall you see what i meen you should i hope yours truly handsumeandmore | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:10:04 AM | | I was with someone that had guy friends and it didn't bother me because I trusted her, some of them were even her ex's (they were best friends) and I had no problem with it. I would want the person I was with to trust me like I trust her, can't be with someone without trust right? If the guy is going to get insecure and jealous he isn't worth being with because with him acting like that it would show that he doesn't trust you, but thats just my opinion. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:56:50 AM | You are definitely dating the wrong guys.
If a guy expects that his gf drops all their male friends because suddenly they are in the picture, then that shows nothing but a lack of self confidence.
I have female friends and have known some of them since I was a kid, and I would not destroy a lifelong friendship for someone new. I am who I am, and whomever I end up with would need to be able to understand that I value my friends as well.
The only time I would have an issue with my gf hanging out with a male friend is if we had created plans, and she dropped the plans to go hang out with the other guy. But in a scenario like that, the issue can be found in the relationship, not the fact that she has other male friends.
Mind you, I am also the type of guy who will notice another guy staring at my gf, and take it as a compliment.
At the end of the day.... the fact that she comes home with me, is what matters. | |
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Nic36
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Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 64 | |
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:04:24 AM |
but you also have to keep in mind how you act can rightfully undermine someone's trust in you. flirting with her male friends, naming guys that hit on her as friends, hanging out with them at weird hours, etc....that will affect the level of trust in the relationship. That's perfectly reasonable.
Trust in a relationship isn':; "Ok, we are together so now you trust me and I have a license to do anything and if you don't like it, you are a control freak with trust issues." Trust in the relationship has to be maintained by their conduct and built over time. I'm sure your girlfriend did this quite well if you didn't mind her hanging out with her ex's all the time.
Nicely said.
If a man I was involved with expected me to cease talking to half the population of the world simply because he was in my life, I would run so fast you'd hear a sonic boom. Whether it is insecurity, distrust or possessiveness, it's unpleasant and unacceptable from anyone with whom you are in a relationship. I've never cheated and never will.
That having been said, trust and respect are two sides of the same coin. While I may enjoy going out by myself, talking to new people and genuinely like men as people and friends, it would be disrespectful of either of us to engage in behavior which is likely to undermine trust. That means, for example, no late nights out with strangers, any new male chums at my house late at night or for unexplained (even innocent) reasons or flirting beyond the level I'd do if he were standing right beside me. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:42:59 AM | I HAVE PLENTY OF MALE FRIENDS,BUT THEY ARE GAY.GUY FRIEND,WHO IS THAT MUCH FUN,AND DOESN'T WANT SEX. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:21:07 AM | If someone is wanting a relationship with another person they have to stop thinking about whether the other person may eventually leave them for one of their friends of the opposite sex.
It comes across as insecure and makes the relationship suffocating.
It happens, and we all know it does, but if it happens to you just cope and move on. Some things are beyond our control and cannot be prepared for. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:39:20 AM | | Most so called guy friends act incredibly territorially around their female friend. People like that aren't true friends if you ask me! It'd probably be a test of friendship actually to see how the male friend acts around romantic interests. . if he's cool with it and warm and friendly to the person, then perhaps he's a genuine friend. Having said that, that could just be another strategy to eventually schooze his way into your knickers. There really is so end to the lengths some guys will go to get sex! | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:41:39 AM | | Frankly, I would be a little suspicious of a woman who *didn't* have male friends. I have tons of female friends and value their friendships greatly, and wouldn't give them up for any reason. If a woman I'm dating has never been able to forge such a relationship with a man, it would make me wonder why. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:51:37 PM | | I see many women that have mostly guy friends not being able to deal with women. They also choose guys that they know like them and of course its going to bring conflict. I know one girl right now that her 3 best friends want to date her; all 3 guys have said it. Who wants that to deal with? Your insensitivity is a bit much. It matter how you carry yourself. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 5/25/2008 7:52:47 PM | ALL my friends are male and hubby totally accepts that, and he's seen why. Over our 6 yrs of being together, he has seen me/us get screwed over by women, left and right,and non of the behavior from my male friends.
All it takes is one look at mrsjcc0312's profile to see why she and her husband have built up such a large mound of trust.
This is not the woman to listen to about trusting relationships.
Because he doesn't care who she f***s. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:42:18 AM | a secure man wont mind. however, if we think you like them better, we can get a little babyish.
your a woman not a child. find a man who is more evolved and you wont have a problem. | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:45:07 AM | I always wonder about guys who have scads of girl"friends" and girls who have scads of men"friends". You will notice that these people seem to have a problem getting along with people of their same sex. Why is this? Because a person of the same sex can see the manipulation that is going on and will not be a part of it. Women that have tons of male friends thrive off of the attention and adoration of her little group of suitors. And men can feel really macho with their little harem. Though they probably could not get the respect of a group of men. And the woman could not get the trust of the other women. These people are takes and users.
And I don't mean everyone that has friends of the opposite sex. Just the ones that seem to be drawn rather exclusively to the opposite sex for "friendship" Women need to learn how to be a friend to other women, and men need to learn how to be a friend to other men. This respect for your own sex leads to respect for self. This is an important part of life and your growing into your masculinity and femininity. And if you do have many friends of the opposite sex, I agree with the person that said if you are in a relationship, you should not be running around alone with these friends. It doesn't look good, it invites catastrophe, and causes jealously.IMHO!
Sherry | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:35:40 AM | | I tend to shy away from opposite sex friends myself, just because whoever I'm dating might have the same response the OP's boyfriend did. So most if not all of my "girl friends" are married or otherwise spoken for, and in pretty much every case I try never to be better friends with them than I am with their husbands. If one tries to get too chummy with me, I tend to back off. In my experience, opposite-sex buddies can pretty easily (but granted, not always) lead to relationship issues (for you, them, or both). | |
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| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/16/2008 9:30:03 AM | I have a female friend that only has guy friends. All the guys she dates are cool with her having guy friends, cause she's just like a guy. Then the dates hang out with all of us guys and her.
The dates hear the double untundras, then even if there is nothing questionable said, the dates see how the guys look at her when she's not looking and oblivious. I've seen it happen a few times. Not just with that friend, but other female friends, women just seem to be oblivious to it.
Maybe its a competative thing or a protective thing. After all plenty of men poach other people's dates, which is why if a girl is looking hot when a couple is at a restaurant, you can see the guy of the couple usually put her with her back to the crowd. | |
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