| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:04:49 PM | | I have female friends and male friends and they are my friends and I'm not going to drop them for anyone and have no problem with the same from her. If there is a lack of trust, one way or the other, I would say just break up rather than limit friendships. | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:27:46 PM | I just remembered a Bill Cosby Show episode....the one where he talks about some dude's favorite food. The guy answers STEAK. Cosby says...now take that steak, add a bakes potato, with cheese, sour cream, mushrooms on the steak....yummy right? The dude goes "yeah". Then Cosby says, take that steak mushrooms and baked potato and put it on a trashcan lid and bring it to the table....not so appetizing anymore. The dude goes "no"....lol.
My point is, it's all about the presentation!
Trust is earned, not blindly given. So meeting a partner who has friend's of the opposite sex makes it harder (in the beginning) to let your guard down. How can you blindly trust someone who you just met and who hangs around with friends of the opposite sex all the time. It's up to them to ease you into their circle of friends.
In my experience, i used to have a lot of female friends (hey i was single), but i couldn't keep a girlfriend for a long time. Then one of my girlfriend's told me why...lol. It made sense to me!
I still have female friends, but i would never spend one on one time with them while beginning a NEW relationship...specially if i see long term potential. And my female friends would be very supportive of that!
EDIT: Personally (and this is a generalization) i avoid women who hang around guys a lot. I did it in the past. Just that they tend to be "one of the guys". If i wanted that in a relationship, i'd date a dude...lol. Personality wise, they're usually not my type either. But exceptions to every rule right ;) | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:19:40 PM | | Do all these guys have SOs, or are they all Mysteriously Missing Partners? The MMP seems to be the latest rave. There is an endless supply of people without SOs who all seem to desperately want to hang out with your SO when you're not around. How do these guys girlfriends feel about you hanging out with them? | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:29:29 PM | I think they don't care if you hang around other guys until they become interested in you seriously.
And even then, they probably wouldn't care if you had guy friends at work.
But going out with other guys ... without your guy ... even in a group ... it sounds like you are not taking the relationship as seriously as they are.
And if you are having sex with your guy, men have a special problem that dates back millions of years. Male animals don't know if their girl's baby is their baby. From birds, to seals, to antelope, the best we can do is try to interfere with any other males having the opportunity to mate with our mate. It has been a reproductive problem so much it affects our instincts.
Since 10 to 20% of babies are cuckold in most human cultures, it is a real problem for us, even if it isn't a problem for you. | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/18/2008 12:31:28 AM | your boyfriend is the man and you hang around with other lads which dents his pride and you friends who are lads will be loveing that hes jelous and wont want to involve him into your friendship / little group naturaly your bf will want 2 fight for you but he cant because you might take your friends side than his and this will cause frustration and tention in your relationship
eather that or im talking bollocks  | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:19:10 AM | "Ok .... what's the deal....
Every guy I meet at first says that it's cool with them that I have guy friends... "ya ya of course, its cool". But THEN when I actually go and hang out with them, of course he could come if he wanted, it's a big deal... and he gets all jealous. "
I can't believe you need to be spoonfed this, if it is every guy that you have come across that has said this then gets jealous afterwards, what are you doing in order for them to get jealous?! Maybe take a step back and think about what it is that you are doing that is leading up to these jealousies and don't tell us its nothing because you stated that it is every guy. I can almost bet some of these guys were in fact telling you the truth when they said they didn't mind when they said they were cool with you having friends, some dudes can only take so much though... | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:35:08 AM | | Hey lorddagoth is right. If it's true that every guy is doing this with the OP, then something about the OP's behaviour is possibly contributing to this. | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:11:38 AM | I don't see the big deal with having guy friends. I have a few and it's friends only!! I enjoy being the cool girl that guys like hanging around with but not see me as a dating partner potential. If they want dates they can go somewhere else to find them. No problem here my guy friends are pretty cool.
| |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:36:19 PM | To me its a real big red flag. How would you like it if a man only hung out with women? How would it make you feel? | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:55:31 PM | The majority of my closest friends in this world are male. It has never, ever, been an issue with a partner of mine that most of my friends are male. If anything, my partners have often befriended my male friends and their friendships have carried on, even when in some cases my relationships with my partners haven't.
It all boils down to trust. Some of my male friends are married, some are single, some are straight and few are gay. The thing is that I would never play games with the person with whom I was involved to try to trigger jealousy or insecurity. | |
|
| Girls having guy friends
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:11:42 PM | | Males are just as insecure of creatures as females. Most females can't comprehend the possibility of an insecure male because they're always attracted to guys with confidences. In fact the more confidence a guy has the higher the probability that insecurity will rear its ugly head and lead to feelings of jealous. Personally if he wasn't somewhat jealous, most women would wonder why he's so trusting. And some would actually prefer he be a little jealous. It also depends on how long you've been dating the guy. If you've only been dating him for a couple months, and he has trust issues, there might be more to the equation then you think. It also depends on the setting in which you're hanging out with your guy friend. Are you going to be spending time alone with him at his place, or going out to a movie or maybe just going to grab a bite to eat? Are you going in a group or going alone? I know for me personally when I'm dating a female that I have no problem with her hanging out with guy friends but there are certain things that I expect. I expect that I've met the guy and gotten a feel for him, I'd be able to tell right away if he was just trying to hook up with you or actually be her friend. The other thing would be that she not spend time with him alone at his place. That would definitely make me feel uncomfortable. Under any other circumstance though I see no problem with it. Just remember that men may exhibit confidence, but are just as insecure as the next person. | |
|
Home
login 
