| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:02:43 AM | I am not making light of anyone's specific situation. However it seems that many people are having tremendous problems in the simple task of meeting anyone.
I do understand that many people here on POF have been hurt, some irreparably. ANd can't trust or love as perhaps they no longer trust or love themselves.
I am not talking about those specific instances where someone has been stalked, kidnapped, raped or had something so horrific that damaged them beyond belief. That situation is specific and is not what I am addressing here.
Someone who has experienced any one of these terrible things usually posts their story as a possible reason why some of the others can't go out anymore . Or as the reason why people are so hesitant to meet. It may be that yet it's impossible to know.
And I am not talking about the 300-400 pound men and women who put " average" on the profile, and who quite wisely postpone meeting indefinitely. Or who are similarly lying about some aspect of themselves that would put off the other person. ANd it is not the specific 'thing" that causes the other person to be upset- it was the act of lying about it or not telling them what should have been told.
I do understand that many people who are having troubles meeting are shy, socially awkward, a bit inept, have some personality issue- latent anger/hostiliy is the most common one- to which they themselves are oblivious yet others see a mile away. or a combination of these and/or other things.
But there must be something in your city/town/village/ groups of huts that can bring people together. BookClubs, movei clubs, Dance groups, Early Christian teaching groups, art societies, volunteer work to be done at the hospitals. volunteer at something someplace. volunteer to be a local fireman - firewoman.
Are there baseball teams or lawn bowling groups anywhere.
For geeks and nerds- start up a chess or backgammon group. or parcheesie (?) or whatever. or join one in progress.
For the people who enjoy acting/plays/ writing- join a theatre troupe. or take writing classes. or start these things.
Try to think of something that can be done.
So many times I read these threads about this sort of thing and it seems to me that the person did almost nothing.
it seems that they want to run before they learn how to walk.
Yes, I know you are shy- many people are shy- some of the people you THINK are confident - have simply learned that they have to do something other than sit at home. They are scared to death much the same as you. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/14/2008 6:17:54 AM | | I just skimmed the pages here, so some posted things I won't know. I have met a handful of females from here. Some went well and others did not. I did and still do e-mail some first. That gives both people some kind of idea what the other is like. That is if both people are honest. I made a couple of friends and I was a fill in for a couple of others. I think all a person can do is send a message and see if you get a response. Then take the rest as it comes. It's easier to play games on a TV screen, then it is in person. I think a man and woman both have the same problems on dating sites. I would however, thin a woman can get more dates then a man from these sites. I think guys are more likely to respond to messages then the girls are. A picture and a profile / Ad really tell you nothing. They are no different then ads to sell any product. It's a sells pitch. The bad parts do not sell things. You have to meet the perosn before you can really know anything. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/14/2008 6:35:23 AM | | I have the same problem. You are not alone. I have joined many single sites and nothing has worked. Seems that some males are just looking for sex, most who say are separated are really married looking for extra activity and the others seemed to be looking for that "Perfect, model type" gal! That's my opinion. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:49:17 AM |  80% are married or involved with someone?
Sorry, had an emotional moment.
MFR for those 80%......quit wasting my time.
And please take 15 giant steps back.
Thank you.
Attention: Will the remaining 20% please step up 10 steps.
And send a signal that you honestly wish to forge a relationship.
I did the search using compatibility and chemistry..........
nope, not a one of them, I found interesting enough to message.
That conclusion was made after I read their profiles.
 I want a long term relationship, not one that will bored me to death, after a short period of time.
Or a relationship, so sedated, jumping in front of a speeding bus comes to mind.......just for the excitement.
Once I read a profile and was so moved, I wanted that person in my life.
Saw his face, which seemed to match his profile................emails, getting to know each other.
Our interest were similar.
The things he said, woke emotions that I thought I would never have again.........and new emotions I'd never dreamed of having.
I was convinced he was the one for me.
Poof........
The end.
I think some people say and or try to convince themselves that having a long term relationship is at the top of the list.
Then it's pushed down the list by other things going on in their lives.
Mainly, work.
Just just about everyone has to work, I guess it's hard for some, to balance their work and personal time.
I work some hard, difficult hours and wrangle many different sizes of dogs, so I understand.
But I can rearrange my schedule to pursue a personal life.
I don't go to bars.
I don't drink.
I used love to go and listen to live music but that usually got ruined by one or more drunks.
Glad to know, though, I'm not the only flounder.
ceeceekitty | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:53:27 PM | I prefer to have quality meets not just meet anyone.
Bad meets end in rejection by one or both parties and no one likes rejection. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:54:39 PM | Have to say that 90% on here are just here for the game of it, married, dating, LTR, gay, hurting so bad inside they cannot relate to another human being let alone date one or be polite to one.
Then you got the 9 % that are not going to meet anyone because they can be choosy, that is their choice to mess people around.
and the 1% gets over looked because we are just normal people, and normal people do get missed a lot in life, ever noticed that?
Just a thought    | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:09:55 AM | Whale crap............now it's 90% out for no good reasons and ain't serious about anything but themselves.
Can someone give them the evil eye, please.
I saw an ad for plenty of fish the other day and it said something like; they don't let un-dateable (sic) people on the site.
Can't remember the wording but have never saw it on here where they weed out the culls.
1%.  That's a thought......
I have been missed.........and over looked a lot.
ceeceekitty | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:19:14 AM | Yes.. assuming you're attracted to them, assuming you enjoy chatting with each other and in some cases... assuming you meet all their wacky criteria.
There's a world of difference between you thinking you're the catch of the week and what everyone else thinks of you. Just because you ARE magnificent, this doesn't assure you a date. People have tastes and preferences that you couldn't begin to imagine.
People use this site thinking their expectations will be met quickly and that doesn't always work and even if it will work, it takes a lot of time and sorting and trying. I know many folks in threads like these say they don't expect anything, but the multitudes of threads like this... demanding to know why it's not happening belie that.
One has to give another the chance to impress and let's face it... how often do we do that around here? We.. probably wisely.. see a small view of some potential and decide based on the profile and perhaps a few exchanges whether or not we're interested.
You will be turned down or ignored more than you won't be. We all will. Just how it is. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:28:37 AM | | I am not a catch of anyone's week, but my profile is for real. I am not involved with anyone and would like to meet people from here. Yes of the female persuasion. I do like chatting and e-mailing. I have time for it. Not in a hurry for anything concrete and sex is nice, but very optional. I do believe we all get turned down or ignored more then we want to, but that is life. Rejection is easier to handle from a TV screen, then in person. I have learned to handle it either way. G/F's may come and go, but real friends are long lasting. I'll take a real friend any day! | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:06:29 PM | > One has to give another the chance to impress and let's face it... how often do we do that around here?
My mailbox is open 24/7. Impress away!
> I do believe we all get turned down or ignored more then we want to, but that is life.
Oh, sorry, my Read Ahead buffer wasn't ON... | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:51:57 PM | | i said this in another thread...most on here are just playing not serious and just waithing for somthing better to come along | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/3/2008 8:00:36 PM | | I have to agree with KY, most aren't here to "really" meet someone, if they were I wouldn't still be here. The men date around and around and around, some have been on here for years. They all say they don't want to meet women at bars but don't have a problem taking her to one for a meeting if it ever gets to that stage. We are all creatures, from all walks of life, if you ideal of sitting behind the computer looking at picture after picture then you should be the one to move on as many aren't interested in spending any time with you. Good Luck to all in your search though. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/3/2008 8:01:49 PM | Dear OP,
Yes. I am one of the fellows on this site that truly wants to meet someone, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it is not happening. It may be because a tribal witch doctor put a hex on me, or because I am too short, or overweight, or because I am too well educated and have a reasonable income. dunno. Please read my profile and email me with where you want to meet and tell me your comments.
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:53:51 PM | | I find it difficult to meet people on pof too. The ones I have come in contact with, only want one thing. OK, most guys do, I guess. But, I would really like to meet a good guy, who likes me for who I am. I am not sure if there is any more out there. What I have found on pof is people show their interest, you get 1 email from them, and you never hear from them again, so a meeting never takes place. The problem that I have encountered with pof is everyone seems so far away. I personally think, no one wants to meet anyone. They just want to send email back and fourth, or chat. Nothing is wrong with that, but eventually, you might want to meet the person you are chatting with. I mean I haven't even gotton to first base yet, lol. I met a fellow on here, not in person, but we chat, big deal. He always has an excuse why we can't meet. Please....It is so tough being single these days. You can read a lot of profiles, but anybody can say whatever they want in them, and you don't know if they are being truthful or not. There is a lot of fakes out there. What you see is not always what you get. I am one of the ones that is truthful in my profile. I don't think I am unattractive either, but, do not get very many responses, either. I don't think grammar has anything to do with it. People just don't want to meet each other for some reason or another. I always think there has to be a reason, perhaps this person is married, and saying they are single, which I have experience on another singles site. Every one I met on that site is married. Go figure. It is a singles website. I do agree with you, that most guys want a quick flash on the webcam, then they don't have to meet you. Good luck trying to find a decent guy, I guess we are all in the same boat, as we are all looking for that special someone. Guess we will have to keep fishing....sigh.... | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:24:00 PM | | It seems to me that women are rather "one-sided" when it comes to online dating. I would say that I am a decent-looking, well-built guy but I am 5'7" Here's the problem, with the online profile you do not have the ability to show how you carry yourself in "real life." My short height has not been an obstacle "in the field" (bars, malls, parties, etc.) because I generally carry myself with some confidence and have a decent physique. However, the women who have not met me in person but have viewed my profile for the first time will see "short" and their insecurity toward shorter men will jump out. Women are shallow like that. In short (no pun intended), there is nothing wrong with you, physically or personally. I almost believe online profiles are useless. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/12/2008 11:07:24 AM | Nope, don't think most of them do not. They are bored, lonley, married or otherwise involved. No web cam for me... I refuse to use it. Just trouble waiting to happen...and frozen shots may not be your best friend.
Keep looking. There are a few that do want to meet. Just make sure the one that does want to meet you is not married. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/12/2008 12:45:11 PM | look, if a guy like me, with my sparkling personality, charm and wit can get dates, then ANYONE can. I mean, my profile just drags the women to me like moths to a flame. and still I get no rest.
so most of you people who complain about not finding dates must be doing something wrong.
and yes, there are many people on here who are completely un date worthy. And of course, these websites DO NOT do anything to weed out the weirdos and the assorted freaks. That is up to YOU.
There are plenty of people on here who actually do meet up and have a good time.
Finding their soulmate on any date site? uh... the odds are against it but it has been known to happen.
Don't call me. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/12/2008 1:33:45 PM | Momarks,
Your profile reminds me of a Condo board meeting I had back when I used to live in a condo.
There were some openings on the board and my neighbours nominated me.
Out of all the candidates, I was easily the least qualified and least competant since I had only lived there a year at the time.
So I had to make my speech... and what did I say? That "I was the least qualified and I didn't expect to get elected. But if you did vote for me, this is what you're getting... blah blah blah..."
I think the reason why you get dates is because nobody can accuse you of bullshitting.
And I think that's worth a lot to many people. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/12/2008 2:24:34 PM | I have a great gal pal that I met online at another dating site. Now we're both on POF and have a ball on here. She is a really brave and wild spirit - so she encourages me to be more bold and adverturous as well.
She meets almost every fella she gets to know on POF, in real life. For coffee, or a soda, a concert in a park - whatever! She has met so many I lose count - but she meets really FASCINATING guys!
So, I've decided what the heck and tried the same - brave and adventurous attitude. For me it's a little daunting to just say "What the heck!" but I'm trying to be more West Coast casual about it....
Hard to do - but worth the effort.
More folks should adopt the ideology of embracing the experience of forming friendships...and less about the hooking up and falling in deep love with....
It's much more fun! | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/12/2008 2:48:03 PM | So it works both ways. Just getting a woman to engage in on line conversation is almost impossible. I've labled the problem "unrealistic expectations". I see profiles of women who are 5'3", 45 years old, divorced, high school grads with minimum wage jobs who won't even respond to anyone under 5'10", with a college education and a high paying job.
I happen to be 53 years old, in excellant physical condition, well educated, and own my own business. I am however 5'4" tall and this is my major barrier.
There are many good people to be found on line but you have to sift through the hundreds of shallow minded people to find the few honest and sincere people. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/13/2008 6:40:12 AM | oh gawd,,, another moaner.
I understand why some people complain about the women's criteria / requirements. But why do you care that they have requirements that they themselves could never possibly match?
if you are such a great catch, then I will say that there are hundreds of great people out in the real world . you may try to interact with these people. One or two of these people must have found something of interest about you.
many short men who are equally as successful as yourself have found one if not many women who enjoy their company.
so what's your problem?
is it really that your shortness is a barrier or is it something about your personality that drives them away.
methinks it's the latter.
the barrier is not your shortness. i'd say to look past that one and find something else. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/13/2008 6:49:28 AM | it seems that most of the women on this site list what they are looking for and then when you make contact, they find every reason not to meet or they just choose not to respond back. Are there that many with such bad experiences that they don't even want to take a chance to maybe meet someone worth while?
there are so many that are lookng for that special someone to enrich their lives, and of course...as if this has not been beaten like a dead horse..."honesty" and " are there any good men left?" these are now the most over-used phrases on POF. | |
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| Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 8/13/2008 7:13:35 AM | | We are all players from a distance it is called being Safe but hey we do not win or lose and no one ever just stands still in life so we all want the great Love but not willing to risk but there are no free lunches so if you want to find that great Love """You have to go through the hell and all the jerks and losers to find that "one " that we want. | |
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