| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/17/2007 2:12:47 PM | From what I've read, the stats on these personality types are not legit, so you probably stand a better chance than you think of finding INTJ or INFJ, or I guess it could also be worse.
Anyways good luck with your search.
INFJ here, but I think I might match up better with a girl who is also my type | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:47:35 PM | Goodewitch said:
I'm an INFJ, but alas of the female variety. Acyually OP, I think Rune has a point, in my experience, extrovert personas can be exhausting and draining for me too. I really am not convinced that matching introverts and extroverts works, its like simplifying the match, eg,.. I am quiet, you are loud, i will listen, you will talk, and we make a whole from two opposite halfs. Its not that simple. Extrovert people are too opposite to my personality for me ever to be comfortable with one. Harmony and shared qualities make for longer lasting relationships in my opinion.
The best of luck in finding your match Op, those INFJ's are elusive though, one per cent of the population, isnt it? And usually lurking in some quiet corner somewhere, being 'different' Lol{quote]
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Since several of you have brought up an Extravert/Extrovert as loud, motor mouthed, hyper-driven sorts of people, as I understand it from you, allow me to take this from the dictionary: Extravert (see Extrovert). Extrovert: A person who is primarily interested interested in things outside the self, is one who is gregarious (fond of the company of others).
I know and have known a lot of Extroverts that were and are loud, motor mouthed and hyper-driven but I am not one of them. I am most interested in THINGS and people outside myself. I read (a lot) and study things that interest me daily and I have many, many interests. I am gregarious in that I am the one that will invite people over for dinner, organize a camping trip, road trip, picnic, whatever. I am not and have never been loud. Quite to the contrary. I talk when I have something worth saying. I enjoy debating and the interaction of sponging off others' brains while allowing them to sponge off mine. I am an extrovert in that I think nothing of helping a stranger, speaking to someone in line or in a store, handing off a $10 off coupon I can't use to a person in line behind me...I do those things quite naturally and have made friends, gotten job interviews, all sorts of things from those type of interactions with people. If you met me you would probably conclude that I am very reserved, even shy, yet I am confident with what I know and know what I am capable of. I make things happen for people & groups. They love it. I just feel all warm and fuzzy at the end of the day. The last thing I think about is me. Actually, I am shocked that this test categorizes me as Extroverted. I think it is picking up my executive background (I assert myself and excel). | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:03:15 PM | I myself am an INTJ, and hadnt believed that sort of thing. I took a myers briggs inventory professionally at college, and was SHOCKED and also dismayed at the results. Because there I thought that I was totally unlike anyone else, and no one would ever understand me, and there I was, written on a piece of paper. Then again, my first love also turned out to be an INTJ, my best friend at the time. He and I dont know anyone else like ourselves, and thought we never could! So at the same time, it's a good thing, and a bad thing. My individuality thwarted, but then also comfort in knowing I'm not alone in the world and have hope. Lol! Anyway, kicks ass. =P I also tested as INTJ on this site too. *indeed I am, the scientist* | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:28:39 PM | As I understand it, whether or not you assert yourself, and how well you do it, is irrelevant to the introvert/extrovert designation. It's also not defined by how well you interact with others or your social skills, although there is probably some correlation there simply due to practice. Extroverts probably get a lot more practice and feedback on their social skills in different situations.
I believe it's more related to your desire and motivation to be outgoing and to spend time with a lot of different people. Especially people that are mostly acquaintances instead of being close friends. I believe that most introverts will go out of their way and sacrifice "me time" to hang out with close friends that they can trust and they don't feel that they have to keep their guard up for, but to do that with strangers is a lot of work and takes a great deal of energy.
Which leads me back to the comment that I made, and I think what rune3 and GoodeWitch were also talking about. In my experience, extroverts, to varying degrees, like to spend a great deal of time being sociable and getting to know new people. When they're your SO, they tend to want you to come along with them. If you don't want to go, it's difficult for them to realize that it has nothing to do with them and it's just because it's not in your nature. And even if they don't take it personally, it can still create friction. The flip side of that perspective is the introvert wondering why the extrovert doesn't just want to stay home and spend time with them. Why do they "need" all that interaction with people they don't even really know?
It's not all the time that an introvert doesn't feel like partying it up with a group of strangers, but it's more often than not, relative to the extrovert's desires.
All extroverts aren't loud and obnoxious, just like all introverts aren't socially inept. It's one those traits that is probably a bit more prevalent with extroverts, but isn't a defining characteristic, imho anyway. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/19/2007 9:06:44 PM | | I didn't realize I was only 5% of the population.........no wonder I have such a hard time finding people I can relate to.............am an INTP..........maybe I need to fish a bigger pond! | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/20/2007 12:36:18 AM |
Since several of you have brought up an Extravert/Extrovert as loud, motor mouthed, hyper-driven sorts of people, as I understand it from you, allow me to take this from the dictionary: Extravert (see Extrovert). Extrovert: A person who is primarily interested interested in things outside the self, is one who is gregarious (fond of the company of others). It's not just the volume thing, it's exactly what you said about extroverts being primarily interested in things outside the self. The extrovert enjoys spending time in the company of others. For an introvert this can be draining. Time alone is needed to recuperate. Introverts seek and value time to be alone and to reflect, their inner world is rich and they do not need constant stimulation from outside influences. Extroverts seek company and need stimulus. An introvert gets stressed if they are forced to be around people too much and an extrovert gets bred and fidgety if they have to be on their own. I know many who cannot bear to be alone and need to be in a constant whirl of social activity. I like to sit and think or go for long walks with my special someone where we may both be lost in our own thoughts. The last thing I need in my life is to be with someone who needs to be with people all the time and wants to be entertained. I'd bore them to death and they'd feel that I was ignoring them and didn't love them because of how much time I spend in my own head, thinking, rather than seeking stimulus and reacting to it.
As goodewitch said, it is far more complicated than thinking that two opposite types will balance each other out -- the way this can happen is if both force compromise upon each other and change their behaviour to be neither particularly suited to the extrovert nor the introvert, but from the outside looking so healthy and well-balanced as it is not at either extreme. In my opinion extroverts should stick to other extroverts: an introvert would make them feel unloved simply because their instincts are not to seek as much contact and interaction as the extrovert wants. As you said, it's not so much about being loud: it's about being gregarious and seeking stimulus from outside -- being the opposite of what an introvert wants, that is the issue. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:16:07 AM | Hello ops,
i'm a ISFJ and the thought of being with any extrovert is a tiring prospect... I was shocked at what the test said my matches would be because i simply wouldn't be able to be with an extrovert more then 8 agonizing hours. Long enough for a days work. The more i'm with them the more i need time to myself. Its impossible to unwind and weekends to short if I work around to many of them.
I'm with a INFJ now and its so easy to be around her. being together is harmonious and we can just be introverts together without having to be dragged out of our little caves. Extroverts want to go places and be with "people"!!!! i couldn't cope with that. And if they were more home body types they would be wanting me to entertain them. I was with someone who didn't seem like an extrovert but really was one. Since we are no longer together she is always on the go but when we were together i felt as though i needed to take up juggling to keep her entertained.
I think like other introverts are saying here is that extroverts need to stay with extroverts. and introverts with introverts. Its not about one way being right or wrong its about being compatible without the need to change each other.
crazylilting | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/20/2007 12:41:24 PM | Introverted and Extroverted when used in the Miggs-Bryers test has it's own context. Miggs-Bryers says that we have all personality types within us - the idea is we also have "comfort zones". An introverted person can be just as comfortable at social gathering, or giving a speech as an extrovert. It's just not as "natural" for them.
Let's say we all have batteries inside us. The category we're in is how our battery recharges. The opposite drains the battery. The extremes drain / recharge the battery more quickly. A moderately introverted person will drain slowly at a large social function, but an extreme introvert will drain more quickly.
So - do extroverts TEND to be better at giving speeches? Because an Extrovert is naturally more social, they're more likely to be natural at giving speeches. But, an introvert can learn to be just as good. They'll just be tired when they go home - and the extrovert will be full of energy :) | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:26:10 PM | OP, I'm an INTJ along the businessman and independent/strategic thinker line. Although we're not compatible based on our ages, I’d be available to date your daughter if you wish.   | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:04:59 PM | Good post rune..
I took this a long time ago I guess, because I have no recollection of it.
ENFJ
I did a search and couldn't come up with any threads about ENFL's Boo hoo
I wanted to talk to others with the same title...
I would say that I am very much an introvert and any extroverted tendancies are mostly due to the fact that I am facinated with other consciousnesses and human nature and enjoy broadening my and others awareness. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/21/2007 12:59:00 PM |
It's not just the volume thing, it's exactly what you said about extroverts being primarily interested in things outside the self. The extrovert enjoys spending time in the company of others. For an introvert this can be draining. Time alone is needed to recuperate. Introverts seek and value time to be alone and to reflect, their inner world is rich and they do not need constant stimulation from outside influences. Extroverts seek company and need stimulus. An introvert gets stressed if they are forced to be around people too much and an extrovert gets bred and fidgety if they have to be on their own. I know many who cannot bear to be alone and need to be in a constant whirl of social activity. I like to sit and think or go for long walks with my special someone where we may both be lost in our own thoughts. The last thing I need in my life is to be with someone who needs to be with people all the time and wants to be entertained. I'd bore them to death and they'd feel that I was ignoring them and didn't love them because of how much time I spend in my own head, thinking, rather than seeking stimulus and reacting to it.
As goodewitch said, it is far more complicated than thinking that two opposite types will balance each other out -- the way this can happen is if both force compromise upon each other and change their behaviour to be neither particularly suited to the extrovert nor the introvert, but from the outside looking so healthy and well-balanced as it is not at either extreme. In my opinion extroverts should stick to other extroverts: an introvert would make them feel unloved simply because their instincts are not to seek as much contact and interaction as the extrovert wants. As you said, it's not so much about being loud: it's about being gregarious and seeking stimulus from outside -- being the opposite of what an introvert wants, that is the issue.
Great post rune. I agree with you. I would love to find myself an INTJ or INTP, I think we would get along very well.  | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:54:58 PM | Well the thought of being an Extrovert as described sounds tiring for me (ENTP) .
You can get Extroverted input from more than just people. My understanding is, it's the way we seek information in our environment and that can even be the way we approach looking up information on the computer or how we put something together creatively. For example I may research the work of others and see how they did things before taking it all in to apply to what I already know. Whereas an Introverted type is more likely to approach the situation in reverse and build on what they know and then seek input to enhance.
I'm actually a bigger loner type than a lot of Introverts I know. I am outgoing, put people at ease, and all of that but tire easily in social situations and need to recharge my batteries by being alone. I have low-maintenance friends who don't require a lot of attention so I am free to neglect them a little when I get into a new interest. This is not unusual for the ENTP type and its recommended all E types spend time alone to centre themselves.
I think the only relation really between Extroverted personality versus extroverted socially is that due to seeking input the way they do, Extroverted people are more likely to be extroverted in a social sense because its a tool they use to obtain information but it's not necessarily the case. I know quite a few very social Introverts but they tend to be just off to the side a bit rather than dead centre in the crowd. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:31:31 PM | | ENFJ in public life, but strong introverted tendencies from childhood. Consequently, I do well with extroverts. You might say that I have taken to extroversion as an adaptive behavior. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 7/31/2007 11:25:54 PM | I didn't actually know that you could search by personality type... lol That's scary.
I'm an ENTJ apparently. Not that many of us and some of the traits in the description I'm not 100% sure of, but it's like a horoscope. Something's gotta stick if there's enough meat to it.
It said that my best "match" is ISTP or INTP. S'pose I might as well go try out that search and see if who I am attracted to is a *ahem* match. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 8/2/2007 3:02:59 PM | | LBP: Thank you! You just described "my" extroversion. I was shocked that I showed up as an extrovert in the test. I am just as you describe you are. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:35:40 AM | ^^^ yeah ENTPs and ENFPs have a lot of similarities. I've heard us described as personality cousins.
I've dated long term both an INTJ and INFJ and it was the way we dealt with information that kind of fascinated each other. Because I go externally first, I get a big picture vision very quickly that is mysterious to them. They think so differently that it seems foreign to be able to make these intuitive leaps without the details they currently have at their disposal. As an intuitive, these leaps are quite often accurate. I just base them on concepts which make sense to me rather than details.
The flip side mental attraction is I'm amazed at how good they are with those details and how tenacious they can be. When you put our minds together its kind of powerful. I can come up with these conceptualized theories and they can see the details on how that could be possible.
I need someone who will mentally challenge me and keep things moving in my head. INFJs and INTJs are very good at providing constant mental stimuli. They are like brain candy for the ENF/TP.
I don't really trust online tests though unless a person has taken them repeatedly overtime. Mood can affect scores so bad that its hard to get an accurate reading from just one test. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 8/3/2007 5:14:10 AM | | Sorry to keep chiming in on the "Ask a Guy" site, but I LOVE this type of thing. I'm an ESTP, but the only letter that I'm truly "strong" in is the T. Everything else was pretty borderline. My poor ex was an INTJ. The J and P clash like crazy and the S and the N have a hard time communicating. On the weekends when I'd come home from traveling for work, he'd want to stay in and I'd be raring to go paint the town. His "N" is very fascinating, though. He's extremely book smart and also has a great imagination with a lot of really cool ideas. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 8/3/2007 9:03:29 AM | To the OP: Extravert per the Myers Briggs Type Indicator means something very different from the "societal" definition of extravert. The MBTI indicates the following:
I/E: Preference for where you get your energy (internally or externally)
N/S: Preference for how you gather data
F/T: Preference for how you make decisions
J/P: Lifestyle preference
The MBTI also indicates that everyone exhibits all 8 of the letters, but what you actually end up "typed" as shows your strongest preference.
Point being: not all extraverts are loud-mouths and not all introverts are hermits. To satisfy my need to refuel my energy tank, I often like to take a stroll through Georgetown or on the Capitol Mall by myself. So, I'm around people, refueling, and not saying a darned word.  | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 8/4/2007 10:07:33 AM | | I have no idea where PoF got the idea of the personality couples they're proposing. I have tried to get them to explain it by asking such in public threads and PMs to moderators. No reply back. Based on Jungian theory (which is where personality types come from), it is your personality opposite that you should be seeking out. Opposites attract and compliment. OP, yours would then be ISTJ. Accountants and bankers. Read "Please Understand Me" by David Keirsey if you want to learn more about this. | |
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| Are you an INTJ or INFJ Personality?
Posted: 8/5/2007 7:50:42 AM | ^^^ I don't know if I agree with this. I would like a link to some direct information that would say my exact opposite, the ISFJ, is actually my personality match and why (as opposed to purchasing the information).
The Keirsey descriptions alone of our personality show many areas which would lead to direct conflict and constant misunderstanding. I've read a lot about personalities and this is the first time I've heard my complete opposite would be my match. There needs to be some kind of relationship to base communication on i.e. rationales, or something to help you relate to the other person.
I looked at lists of supposed ISFJs and I can't say I've felt any attraction to any of them however there were a few on that list who I profoundly disagree with politically and attitude wise. | |
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