| giving up for now
Posted: 7/10/2007 4:32:56 AM | Well I looked at your profile too, and it was very negative. Plus I think you could probably use a better picture of your face. Either that, or show yourself having fun somewhere  | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/10/2007 4:44:57 AM | First of all I think it has to start with you.
You have to be happy in your own skin.
I don't think being fat or thin has anything to do with it, it is all about attitude. No one likes a winer.
Lighten up your profile, make it more positive, put a smile on your face. | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/10/2007 8:56:07 AM | DON'T GIVE UP! of course its frustrating, do you think everyone on POF finds this an easy thing to do? NO! we have bad days, weeks, even months!
when i think of giving up on a task, i'm reminded by the speech peter griffin gives joe swanson in the episode of family guy titled "ready, willing and disabled". it goes:
"Did George W. Bush quit even after losing the popular vote? No! Did he quit after losing millions of dollars of his father's friends' money in failed oil companies? No! Did he quit after knocking that girl up? No! Did he quit after he got that DUI? No! Did he quit gettin' arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at a football game? No! Did he quit..."
and look at him now!
being serious for a moment though...
i do agree with eclecticjay on this, and i'm living proof. i was overweight and then i went to the gym and trained hard, worked on my POF profile too, and bam - in march i started dating a great woman for a while. maybe eclecticjay could have been a little more politically correct in his terminology but i don't think he could offer the advice without offending you. ultimately i DO agree with it though, as the result will increase your CONFIDENCE.
lots of people in this forum are trying to help you and give you advice. take it on board, they mean well. sometimes we have to accept and deal with the criticism we get rather than get angry or deny it.
separately, if you are offered the advice "just be yourself", be wary. if being yourself gets you nothing, then maybe its time to change plans! | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:10:33 PM | Quote: eclecticjay "There is nothing wrong with being a big woman, but don't expect many guys to be attracted to bigger women, just like most women are not attracted to overweight guys, just a plain fact of life. If you lost some weight, had a more optimistic attitude, i bet you would get email after email, everyday, from guys wanting to meet you. Welcome to the real world."
Well, yes..........and no.
I checked vosche's pics, and she more fits the "curvy" deffinition.
Not "big".
In fact, i'd say kinda hot! 
But the face pic is a bit "gothic".
Maybe lose the glasses, and get a blue or white background?
Curvy women RULE!  | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:15:18 PM | If the author of this thread is seriously so fat, as eclecticjay claims she is.....I'd love to see what the hell he considers skinny to be. I don't see how the author is fat.
Anyways, besides the point. Men looking at your profile who live long distances probably just want a **** buddy, maybe they wanna talk but are too shy to message you, or they just wanted to see what you looked like due to the fact your picture attracted them to your profile. | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:22:10 PM |
One should never insult or judge a person by their physical looks wether it be they have a long nose, big ears or overweight, its the persons intentions and values that is important.
Yes, one shouldn't, and it's good that you made an apology for your unsolicited opinion.
Every human being has feelings. There are 1000's of ways to hurt them too. Being over-weight may not be your issue, but there's something out there that is your Achilles Heel. You should be mindful of the words that come out of your mouth before you utter them.
I don't know of one man in my acquaintance that doesn't know that making a disparaging comment about a woman's weight is going to hurt them. I also would never make such a comment about a man who is over-weight because it's unnecessary.
The measure of a person is how he or she conducts themselves in life. If you do so with dignity, human kindness, and empathy for your fellow human beings then you've been successful at your job on this Earth. When you die and your family and friends give your Eulogy, it will be these characteristics they recall with fond memories; Not how much you weighed or how successful you were on a dating site.
Tough love is typically reserved for parents with their minor children. Not some anonymous person on a dating site forum dispensing tough love to strangers.
An Irish family saying: "Without the head, the feet are dead" | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:36:55 PM | this is why I exclusively dated black and latin men
they like curves and hips AND AN ASS
white men like you cant handle it....... | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/16/2007 9:12:36 PM |
2. If you put that you are looking for friends, you will not get responses, this is a dating site, therefore you need to change your approach to dating or long term. You will see how they start to trickle down.
First off your profile says friends. I have friends all over the world from this site. So if your looking for a serious relationship then you should state that. Change you criteria to within Florida or Tallahassee. You're not going to snatch someone up. If it were that easy you wouldn't be here to begin with. So, you may want to consider a burgeoning friendship which could possibility develop into something more.
Nah, putting yourself as looking for "friends" isn't the problem. I listed my profile as "friends" recently because it seems more realistic. It used to be "long term". I don't plan on dating every last person that contacts me. Clearly. But I do like and find many of the people on this site to be very cool. Being listed as "friends" hasn't stopped anyone from asking me out ~ I actually get approached more.
Good luck to you, Vosche. Dating is tricky and if a break is what you need - do what you need to do. BTW - you are very pretty. Your pic is funny, but you can tell you're pretty too. I didn't see your previous profile so I can't comment on it.
~M. | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/16/2007 9:16:46 PM |
When you die and your family and friends give your Eulogy, it will be these characteristics they recall with fond memories; Not how much you weighed or how successful you were on a dating site.
LOL - so stinkin' funny.  | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/16/2007 9:26:19 PM | 
It's all about the quantity of beer, folks. | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:00:46 AM | | METO SEEWHY UNDER BROKEN HEARTS IM GReat kisser and she played as a game player | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:25:35 AM | I don't think fat people should be made fun of, but rather be made aware of the risks..Or soemthing. If you made fun of everyone for their faults then this would be a pretty ****ed-up world. I understand you didn't mean it in a hurtful manner, but i don't think that ridicule is the answer to get fat people to lose weight..It willmost-likely make it worse. Roseanne (the comedian) once said in a stand-up set, "Y'know, fat people will do anything to lose weight...Except, of course, for stop eating like a ****in' hog and get up and do somethin'". But i really say, if you're cool with it, cool..But if you complain constantly about it then do something instead of sitting there whining. I used to be a whiner, i always blamed women for my loneliness and stuff.."Oh it's because im fat/ugly/whatever"...But i finally got the guts to make some change eventually. Being overweight is unhealthy, but everyone's perception of overweight is diffirent and it also varies for body types. So, in the end, let it be or stop crying and fight..Y'know?
(I in no way am making any accusations to anyone, merely going with the conversation at hand..I don't want anyone pointing fingers at me like i'm an insensitive prick or soemthing, hahah)
Take care, peace
~Luke | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:39:17 AM | I hear you with the whole contact from out of town thing - but that comes with being on a dating site. I know it doesn't really help when you are looking for companionship, but there it is.
I used to have the same problem when I lived in a large city, and was extremely frustrated with the responses (or lack thereof) I received. I read a bit (Surrendered Single is great FYI) and decided I had to change what I was doing. So, I posted in a local thread for a meet & greet, and 25 people showed up! It was lovely. No, I didn't meet "the One" there, but I did meet tons of people who were in a similar boat that I could talk to, potentially set each other up with, and hang out doing things with. For me it was a win-win situation.
Then I moved temporarily to another large city - and the response to the exact same profile was so overwhelming I had to turn it off. Geography does make a difference I learned, and sometimes mixing things up a bit (which of course can include taking a break from dating) can make all the difference. | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:44:43 PM | eclecticjay~
first of all, that was not really very nice. second of all, i personally know many bigger people who have happy healthy relationships, marriages, etc. thirdly, some people can never be thin no matter what they do. i have personally known people like this. they can be thinner... but never thin.
one of my best friends...god love her... was obese when i met her. we were in our twenties then. she cried about it on my shoulder at times, just broke my heart...and i even took her to a special doctor to see what could be done at one point.
this girl went from being obese to being what i guess i would describe as chubby or perhaps 30 pounds over weight... in order to maintain this she has to work out two times a day every single day. she would go to a spinning class in the morning, then a kick boxing class at night, followed by an hour or more long work out with free weights...etc.. it is a constant battle... she has to constantly watch her diet... also, she has dragged me to one of her classes before and i couldn't keep up with her... she is very fit and this is where her body wants to be...
she has never been and never will be thin. but she has a boyfriend who finds her attractive... and they have been together for a long time...
lar | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:32:53 PM | Hahaha...Ok I have read most of the post on this subject.I actually thought it was funny.I do not call myself fat i call myself thick.On almost every profile men & women say they want a person to be honest.This guy gives honesty & he is a jerk huh...lol oh grow up!!!
I think people take this site way too personal.It is for me a cure for boredom but in a way addictive like myspace.I have became friends with several guys on here who are from diffrent states & those are the ones I enjoy chatting with the most.
leave this poor guy alone.He only gave honesty .So if you don't like it don't read it!! | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:11:11 PM | | So you're saying that if a person has diabetes or a thyroid problem and can't lose the weight, it's your job to make fun of them? | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:51:04 AM | They are thin people who are unhealthy as well. I don't necessarily think a person who is somewhat overweight is so unhealthy. You really have an attitude problem, lady8506, if you think abusing people is an okay thing just because you think they are healthy. Why should it concern you if they are overweight?
It is not your life? Should a person be harassed, because they are overweight, because it's not healthy? I can't believe you said fat people should be made fun of..... Do people make fun of smokers? What about you if you go out and drink lots of beer and I made fun of you for drinking something that kills your brain cells? Where would it all end?
I think that's being pretty selective in discriminating against people allegedly on health grounds. | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:17:18 AM | | Yeah lady8506, I have to agree with seavoyage I'm way over weight especially since I played college football and basketball, but in just having a physical no problems blood is clean, no high cholesterol, no high blood, no heart problems, but people see me and always said I was diabetic the doctor can't believe it because I'm not and I'm a big dude but I stay in shape for my size...yeah I'm starting to lose cause I am personally tired of carrying the weight but I'm not at all unheathy I am healthy according to my physical just big. Now to the OP and I haven't seen any of her pics yet.. I have a problem on here also but no emails from what I consider attractive women but when I go out and talk to women live despite my weight I have no problem meeting or getting numbers and I definitely do not fit the social class pick of a Calvin Klein model as every one seems to like these days but my confidence and charm over shadows my weight issue. Different strokes for different folks where I come from big boys are in no we don't pull all the attractive gals but we do pull some. Point is... its how well you carry yourself and that is easily seen by what you write in your profile... so to Hades with this social norm crap do your thing and do it well as long as you know you are keeping it real and not being superficial that special one s out there and you don't even have to look for him He will find you! | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:18:10 PM |
I don't think being fat or thin has anything to do with it, it is all about attitude.
I have been underweight since adolescence and copped hell for it back in school, i grew to really hate the weight aspect of my body and my confidence suffered. Took me a while to break the conditioning of those school years, I stopped caring how skinny I was and started wearing shorts in summer  ...I think my point may be that if you end your subscription to the 'rightness' of ideals from which you deviate, and instead take a broader, more studied and dispassionate view, even invent your own alternative ideals, then your self-image will change and your confidence will increase. Consequently, others may be drawn toward your way of thinking and so another germ of cultural evolution is born! Viva La Evolucion!  | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:11:10 PM | Very interesting topic. Of course, looks are VERY important. Especially in the Gay community. I used to sit and **** and moan how I can't find someone because of my looks, so now I decided to do something about it, like others have stated in this thread. I am rigirously dieting and exercising and feel so much better for it. If you don't like something about yourself, such as weight, just get off your duff and do something about it. If I can, anybody can. | |
|
| giving up for now
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:06:28 PM | | I had a curvy figure. The medications I had to take plus aging put on the extra pounds to trash that. Now I find myself using ice cream as a salve for my wounds. On this site I stayed with those who had the extra pounds too but that doesn't seems to make a difference. I've been hurt so much that I've become defensive about it. I practically ask to be dismissed before I get hurt again although by that time it's too late. It seems that intelligence, kindness, hard work, or other good qualities make no difference. Giving up is an option. An honest picture may help to eliminate those who are weight intolerant. That takes guts especially for females because it also attracts some odd men. It takes more guts to be confident or to be yourself. It takes a lot of guts not to quit. | |
|
Home
login 
