| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:01:12 PM | Congrats - enjoy the journey and who cares if you are suddenly back 30 or more years ago in your mind ? This is your life so enjoy it.
Some people never have the courage to explore either a wonderful friendship, companionship and most of all what the possibilities could be. Meet this nice man you speak of and just take it 1 step at a time. Go out dancing together if you are so worried about getting close and if he can do the limbo ............. well you might have a winner LOL. | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:48:54 PM | OP, I want you to know I am really happy for you. Yet, I'm going to come across as one of the few if only skeptics on here. I'd be somewhat cautious; he is somewhat of a stranger after all. How long have you known him? How much do you really know about him? Keeping your dates down to a few times a week is a good idea, until this new found "puppy love" stage recedes. Enjoy these feelings while they last. The truth is: if this guy was a master manipulator you would never know it. Tread the waters with some caution. I say this because I truly wouldn't want you to get hurt.
If he mistreats you in any way, sick the dogs on him! | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/10/2007 9:19:21 PM | Someone wrote: "the folks who are so gun-shy that they'd whizz on the lady's parade; mid-life infatuation? What the heck is THAT? AND WHO THE BLEEP CARES?! The two feel good about it, they enjoy each other's company. They resonate with each other... Yeah, 'rebound' can be a pain, so can the 'trophy' thing and both are things worth thinking on, but NOT to worry on."
Welcome to POF, many are telling her to go for it, and likewise, many are telling her to be careful....has anyone here read any other forum posts? Like the one about the lady a few days ago who said she met a wonderful man, blah blah blah, and then he didnt show up for the date or even call? Or the one about the lady who met a wonderful man on here (or somewhere), who seemed to be so awesome, and then they were drunk at a club and she found him sleeping with her best freind, or the person a couple weeks ago who met a wonderful man and loaned him $15,000 for his business, but he would take off at nite for "business reasons" and now he moved out while she was at work........
Certainly, there are no guarantees in life, but if just if for any reason, OP comes back here in two weeks and says this guy was picked up for pedophilia or something, I hope all you naysayer naysers will apologize. I will apologize if I am ever wrong. Love, Bill. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/10/2007 10:20:43 PM | I say thats awsome! Just keep your eyes, ears on alert and the heart open, and let there be a little wall so he can jump over it.
The last few dates turned out to be a cautious mark and wow! I found out early on all of them they lied, cheated, players, and they are the ones always to say lets be exclusive and one hour later they are on here flirting and hitting on someone else. They get busted each and every time...I always say...dont say something you really dont mean.
just enjoy it...I always miss the great conversations when I call in the towel. BUT I start fishing again... sometimes move the boat...to another lake next time maybe the ocean | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/10/2007 10:33:04 PM | Why do you ask if it's normal?
What's "normal", anyway?
Sounds like a wonderful dynamic you are enjoying right now. Take it one step at a time, and enjoy every step along the way. What exactly is making you feel uncomfortable?
I'm happy for you!!
It's a wonderful feeling, and you deserve it.  | |
|
| |
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/11/2007 8:23:49 AM | Enjoy these wonderful feelings, have fun and live your life :) .. but... dont throw caution to the wind & get so caught up that you lose your good common sense and judgement. Best wishes to you ! | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/11/2007 8:53:31 AM | Flowergrower,Just read youre request  Im not playing the 1-800 psychic reading hotline here,lol.But my gut feelings usely right and I immediately picked up ''WARNING!!WARNING !!WILL ROBINSON '''>>Alien Alert!! about this guy  Sorry to pop a sweet feeling,But I see this as a classic ploy,and underneath this for some men and women to put on his or hers best show to hide some really unclosed issues ,He has some major hidden personalty defects that he hasent delt with that you wont see untill later,and wont like. PS.Does anyone else since this? | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/11/2007 9:49:48 AM | | I say just enjoy it. Live life with no regrets. Take a risk. Do something that is completely not the "norm". If it feels good and you're both enjoying it. I say just let go and let whatever is going to happen between the two of you, happen. I wish you the best. | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:49:32 AM | I'm sure that this advice is worth exactly what you're paying for it, but here goes: I think that all dating communities -- both the real-world introduction services and the on-line dating clubs like plentyoffish -- contain a built-in bias toward this sort of situation, what you described as erratic and teenager-ish. The thing is, out in the rest of the world, most people end up in relationships with someone they were platonic friends with first, and for a long, long time at that. So the whole thing is much "cooler to the touch" when at last it becomes more than simple friendship.
You may enjoy the thrill of skipping all of that low-key getting to know (or, judging from the sounds of things, you may not), but the fact remains that skipping it will lead to certain abnormalities in the script of the relationship. This is not to say that it can't work -- it certainly can, and routinely does: if we didn't believe that we wouldn't be in here, trying -- but it does mean that you will both have to be very open-minded about the sorts of things that people usually learn about each other before they even start talking in terms of a first date.
My guess is that you're feeling so exhilarated because a subconscious voice inside your head is saying that there are all of these question marks and no way to answer them without diving in. A tire-swing is more exhilarating than a porch swing for exactly the same reason: you think you'll be okay, but you don't actually know.
I would say, try to cool it off just a little. The more you get to know about the other person, and the more he gets to know about you, the less baggage the two of you have to be exhilarated about -- and the exhilaration will get fatiguing plenty quick. | |
|
kdr90
|
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 64 | |
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:06:25 PM | | I tend to agree with Dave from Fla - enjoy this feeling - it is great! But at the same time, be a little cautious. Or tryt to be anyway, which won't be easy. Good luck to you! Hope it all works out -- | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/11/2007 6:18:18 PM | The true test will be when he tells you he's for Hillary in 08'....that'll be the true test of love....   | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/12/2007 3:25:51 AM | What are you complaining about? Isn't that what we all want? You are VERY fortunate if this is really true. Of course, with the guys I've spoken with on here I've gotten an education in how slimy and scumbaggy guys can be.
And you've actually had several dates? Wow! I've had at least 4 guys set dates with me then never show! What's up with that? | |
|
| |
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/12/2007 11:22:56 PM | Welcome to POF, many are telling her to go for it, and likewise, many are telling her to be careful....has anyone here read any other forum posts? Like the one about the lady a few days ago who said she met a wonderful man, blah blah blah, and then he didnt show up for the date or even call? Or the one about the lady who met a wonderful man on here (or somewhere), who seemed to be so awesome, and then they were drunk at a club and she found him sleeping with her best freind, or the person a couple weeks ago who met a wonderful man and loaned him $15,000 for his business, but he would take off at nite for "business reasons" and now he moved out while she was at work........
Frankly, most people aren't stupid, or desperate enough to fall for that drivel. Second, yes, I'm sure the OP has entertained the possibility of this fellow being a cad- she DID ask for advice, did she not? Actually, what she asked for was a "reality-check". And we've obliged.
Op; "normal" is just a setting on your washing-machine- not a mantra to be living by.
There are always horror-stories about the creeps out there. Thing is, you can meet THEM anywhere. Expect the best, plan for the worst- that way, you're always prepared for whatever life may throw at you.
Dave_from_FLA seems sensible- check out his post. Mr. Tibbs seems like a bit of a nutbar- read him for a laugh... Keep it weird! | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/13/2007 12:36:19 AM | Do any of you so called forum experts ever read what the OP has to say? She's been a widow for 20 years. So she has managed her own affairs for a long time. The relationships she has had during that time were always "on her terms." Now she's in a relationship where she doesn't feel in control, and she's wondering if that's "normal".
Also this has been going on for a while now, and unless I totally mis-read what she intimated, they haven't even slept together yet. The whole impetus for this thread was they were to the point where the topic of spending a weekend together had arisen.
This whole relationship has taken the OP out of her comfort zone and her fear of not being in control was holding her back. I glad she took the leap of faith that was required.
I wish her and her chosen one all the best.
And remember: With God there are no coincidences, just divine appointments.
Happy Fishing all
J | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:58:53 PM | K, here to check in. Again, I thank you all for all your thoughts and advice.
Things are still wonderful I am very happy to say. We did go away together and get to see some faults and calm down (just a bit) and still talk and date as much as ever. We have a few obstacles to overcome, like if I can be a good sailor, and if he can shave enough, lol...
I would like to say a few nice things about cyber-meetings (not that I'm any expert) ;
1. If you portray who you really are, chances are that you find someone looking for, or be attracted to your particular traits.
2. Photos help immensely, who cannot love a dog lover? Show the fruits of your accomplishments and make yourself real
3. I was not advertising for sex, just a kindred spirit
4. Be honest in your character, so I'm a little quirky (he finds it endearing)
5. Talk, talk, talk... and have the patience of a saint before meeting.
6. After meeting him, make sure you introduce him to your friends!
At least it has worked for me  Laugh if you like, we think we are on to something very big. I found much more than I could think was possible, as did he. Writing of our thoughts and feelings left no room for misinterpretation, and it was easier to express ourselves without fear of rejection or any shyness. We think it helped to deeply explore ourselves; our true wants, needs and expectations. Knowing so much about each other before we met was like meeting an old friend... only better, I highly recommend it!
Go little fishies , may you all be blessed
 .... | |
|
shoree
|
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 71 | |
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:05:25 PM | Same thing happened to me. I had strong, strong feelings for my guy WAY before I felt ready to.
I had many of the same symptoms; sleeplessness, nervousness, lack of appetite, all around giddiness.
Just try to handle them as best you can. Either this is real or it is not. Just remember to take care of yourself, even while you coast on this amazing rollercoaster ride! Do some 'normal' stuff day to day to help keep you calm. Excercise can be very helpful..
Good luck! I hope he's the ONE! | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:06:48 PM | | OP, take a gamble, go with it. Don't give him money or your credit cards, but jeez, love does happen, maybe it's happening for you and him. I definitely want to be kept updated!! Good luck! | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:22:49 PM | Good grief, you do...
News Alert! Two people meet and they like each other!
Who would have thunk it...
Isn't this why you were here?
Slow down, get off these forums and go get some housework done. Be happy.
Go enjoy a weekend together.
---
and smellyfungal, you're amazingly negative for a newlywed. hope your fire hasn't sizzled out already. | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:49:45 PM | | Try doing this: Give yourself PERMISSION to have fun! I sure the hell did and haven't looked back since! | |
|
| Good Grief, I need help
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:07:03 PM | What an amazing, funfilled, questioning and revealing experience you're on! It's LIFE darlin! Yeah, there's a couple guards up now..so, leave them up till you're ready for them to come down.
This is YOUR life now - you say you're coming into your own and knowing yourself better - albeit afraid because .....it's new to you? Good!!!
I just read the below a few minutes ago and couldn't think of a better place to post it:
"Taking into consideration from the late bloomers including Lucille Ball (who was 40 when I Love Lucy hit the air) and Colonel Sanders (who founded KFC at 62), Revolution is a warm, hilarious memoir that reminds us that it's never too late to begin again."
(Revolution is a new book out by Amy Cohen and was being reviewed)
No, I'm not comparing you to a goof ball or a chicken (or a book) but woman, get your out there and have fun!!!!!!!!!!!
It's never too late. And get some for me!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
Home
login 
