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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 1:02:54 AM | | man when i saw this i couldnt help but say something lol. this is why black women are against interracial couples. they feel like all the decent guys are being stolen by women of other races and leaving them with the lowlifes, abusers, and convicts. but heres teh irony. the real reason most black males date outside their race is because most black women (not all) but most keep up alot of confusion and drama and they dont know how to treat some men with respect. for the most part all the black women ive ran into have only wanted to be with me for the status and bragging rights basically. that again is not to say they all are like that, but alot seemingly are. so black women pretty much hate that theyre pick of black men are limited cause alot tend to jump the fence, but they jump the fence cause of black women. a recent example is my coworker was buying some stuff for a lady friend of his at a store, and these 2 black girls hit on him. and he was tryin to be nice and respectful and told her she wasnt his type. so her first conclusion was she wasnt cause she was fat. and trust me if you knew him youd know that wasnt the reason. then he told her it was because he prefers white women. and the 2 girls blew up on him callin him all sorts of names and basically punking him out at the store. then he finally said and thats why i prefer them and walked off. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 5:35:13 AM | OH my Oh my ....I had to chime in with my 4 cents(CDN dollar is high right now)lol..Ok so here's the skinny.I grew up in a very small town in eastern ontario where there was literally 1 person of colour!Andy was adopted by our high school principle and his teacher wife.We became best friends in the 8th grade and I can't tell you the number of fights I had in high school because I was hangin with a N!!!!I will not say that word to this day.The reason I had to fight?Because they were a bunch of ignorant idiots.So how does this story end?Well here goes....He married my sister!Been together 22 years with 3 beautiful children.I have dated women of colour as People have said here and found it particularily difficult if it starts to get serious.Their friends and family seem to question her loyalty.Loyalty to what i don't know but after 6-10 months it seems to end.As choc knight said and so has my bro in law black women have or create so much drama in their lives they can't seem to have a stable relationship unless it includes screamin and yelling on a regular basis without any real issues.
Just my experiences | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 5:38:27 AM | Chocolate Knight. Oh my dear. You're pretty young and I'm not trying to be condescending, but you have a whole lot to learn. Not all Black women are hostile, and I know you tried to cover yourself by saying "not all", but I think you could learn a few things. I've been a Black woman for 46 years now and sometimes it does stick in my craw when I see a Black man dating a White woman. Not that the White woman is doing anything wrong, because if he's the man that floats her boat then so be it and she should go for it. It's just we as Black women often will shy away from the White guys that hit on us in a (stupid) attempt to stay loyal to you Brothers. It might sound like something from the outer limits from someone else, but to some Black women, standing by their Black men is like breathing. And by the way, if we seem hostile sometimes, it's because we've had a lot of disappointment where you Black men are concerned and want to just kick you all in the pants. I have a 24 year old son and hope when he finds that woman that he loves and wants to marry I hope she looks like me, his sister, his grandmother, and all the other Black women that raised and supported him, but if she doesn't and he loves her and she loves him and they respect each other then, hey, in the end I just want him to end up with someone that leaves a smile on his face.
Please don't take this as a personal attack baby, I'm being honest. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 6:38:18 AM |
they feel like all the decent guys are being stolen by women of other races and leaving them with the lowlifes, abusers, and convicts I dont date black men first formost because I dont find them attractive. And as far as the decent black men. When 75% of black college graduates are black females. It is just a give she would want a man who is her equal. A man who doesnt need a bunch of excuses. I do bring drama but I also bring passion, education and beauty. I understand you go for the best you can get. I think if the 75% of the college educated black woman would accept the best they would not even look in the direct of black men. But that is just my opinion. so black women pretty much hate that theyre pick of black men are limited cause alot tend to jump the fence, but they jump the fence cause of black women. I am sure I have made many men jump the fence as you call it but sorry not many are black. I have had more than my fair share of black men insult my choice of dating white men. They are very much like black men say black women are. In fact they are rude and arrongant. But I choose white men because I think they are sexier. Not because of anything black men have done or could do. I like what I like.  | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 7:51:38 AM |
It might sound like something from the outer limits from someone else, but to some Black women, standing by their Black men is like breathing.
I hear that from black women a lot - however the black men I know feel the opposite. As interacial dating is becoming more acceptable - black men are taking the opportunity - due to the reasons chocolate_knight stated. So I see black womens loyalty being quashed by thier own behaviour. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 8:12:38 AM | | Leeanne, it seems you and Chocolate Knight are painting all Black women with the same brush. We are not all loud and abrasive or whatever other derogatory things you two and others like you think. As a woman, you should know better than to generalize as we as women always are (we're picky, we're nags, etc.). Now I know you wouldn't appreciate anyone deciding that since you're a White woman that you must certainly be passive, clingy and any other stereotypical lies people tell themselves about White women. I know some White women that are just as loud when they think they are being mistreated or taken advantage of, but are some of them are described as being strong-willed. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 11:05:29 AM | mochawoman - I don't really believe that - at least I certainly don't want to - but that is what 'black men' are leading others on to believe - because that is what they are voicing again and again. That is why I said, 'So I see black womens loyalty being quashed by thier own behaviour'. It's being perpetuated by the men you desire.
So if that is what is occuring - how can that be changed?
I try to see everyone in the same light - but it seems to be a great difficulty to change the ideas that are out there. I think that open dialogue like this helps.
So if another black man were to say the very same things again - how do you want that addressed to help them change that point of view? | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 11:16:15 AM | Well, Leeanne, I'm glad you and I are at least having a dialogue on this subject.
How would I address a Black man that voiced that opinion? I probably wouldn't have to, because they don't say those things to a Black woman in regards to their preference for White women. Maybe they think it wouldn't be received too well, I don't know. But I know I've been dealing with Black men all my life and they aren't too much different from other men: They often say certain things depending on the audience (i.e. telling you what they think you want to hear). Now I've been in relationships with Black men who have been in serious relationships with White women, but they didn't really discuss it with me. Why? Because at the time me and my "Blackness" was what they wanted at that time in their life. I know several Black men who date both and don't sway one way or another. Girl, who the hell knows. I got just a little ticked off at (and I know what you say is true, by the way) the fact that any Black man would feel that he needed to put a Black woman down to justify why they prefer a White woman. If you think about it, that just sounds like he couldn't imagine a White woman wanting him regardless of who he has dated/lived with/marrried in the past. If a Black man dates a woman (or any man for that matter) it should be because he finds her attractive, he respects her, and they make each other smile. | |
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rj1979
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Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 84 | |
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 1:00:58 PM | I don't see why black women or white guys really care? Everybody has there own preference right? No two people can have the exact same taste... Everybody is different..
I personally have a thing for blondes... It's my taste as a guy, and the next guy over probably will have a thing for brunettes, and the next guy over will have a thing for red-heads... | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/10/2007 6:03:40 PM | | Well mochawoman I guess that's why I married my husband - he nor I - ever felt the need to justify our relationship to anyone or each other. There was no need to put anyone down - or to make sweeping statements. There was nothing to question - or to wonder why - when we fell in love! I look at my husband for the man I desire - not the colour of his skin! | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/11/2007 5:31:10 AM | i couldn't read this whole thread, but my two cents is this. and NOTE: normal and abnormal are not to be taken to mean what is or isn't right or acceptable, but rather what is or isn't most common.
people tend to gawk at things that are abnormal. normally people are of good health, dressed appropriately in public, and if people are hanging out in pairs or groups it is normally with people who "look the same" as each other. when you see someone in a wheelchair or missing an arm, someone who is ridiculously overweight, someone dressed in top and tails, dressed as a gigantic version of some food or animal, or someone wearing little or nothing at all, you tend to stare or double-take. likewise if a couple looks different, like with a two-foot height disparity, a 200-pound weight disparity, a goth with a prep, a same-sex couple, or an interracial couple, it's going to cause you to take notice.
the "looks from people" are not really a big deal. you can't know why they're looking or whether they approve. now if it comes to people saying rude things, then that is unacceptable. but this also isn't the norm. for every comment, there are x number of people who didn't comment. but you only notice the ones that say something, because that's what makes you mad. this is red light syndrome. you get all in a huff because "every light was red" going wherever. yeah, except for all the green ones that you don't take stock of because they're the norm. if anyone makes a comment that indicates racism or such associated values, then that person has a problem. the abnormal couple causes people around to take notice. and the abnormal (racist/homophobic/etc) reaction of any of those onlookers also causes everyone to take notice. and undoubtedly the racist interjecting with comments would attract more attention from bystanders than the passive couple going about their own business would garner.
abnormalities are what interest and intrigue us humans. our brains like to find patterns, and our curiosities like to inspect the anomalies in those patterns. growing up in a very white neighbourhood in a very white community, i'm always curious about what it's like for people of other cultures, both in their homeland and in living here. in my elementary school there were maybe 2 or 3 black people out of 450, and believe me, they stood out. i'm sure they experienced many looks from their classmates, who were not racist or looking down on them, but merely attracted to the differences and even studying them somewhat in a curious fashion. when i work with black people i am always curious to know more about them, moreso than white people who seem more conventional and boring to me. i get it, you're irish/english/scottish. so yeah, people look because they're curious, they may even inquire how you met each other, because they wonder. they may say something terrible like "leave my kind alone" or various rude comments, and that is just a shame that some people have to be so closed-minded and rude.
a side note: i think variation and diversity are important. personally, i like that we don't all look the same. what are we going to do in a few generations when everyone is beige-/tan-coloured? will racism end? will heritage be less important since we'll all have roots in too many places to mention? will they stop honouring black history month? will we find some other indicator by which to prejudice against our fellow man?
okay it was more like a nickel than two cents.
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| Racism?
Posted: 12/20/2007 11:02:35 PM | ralph: You don't know a lot of Italians do you?
Jordan: So one group of whites invalidates my statement?!
After a group of 130 Hispanic parents wrote a letter to our local paper raising concerns for their children's safety, a slew of vitriolic comments were posted to the paper's website, thereby proving once again how wrong Ralph is.
http://pod01.prospero.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?msg=1452&nav=messages&webtag=kr-kentuckytm
Sorry for the delayed response, but the last 3 weeks of this semester were pretty busy. | |
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| Colour versus Black and White
Posted: 12/21/2007 1:34:58 AM | ralph: Well, I certainly am not one to be aware of particular posters that carry a big chip on their shoulder and attempt to see a world filled with color in black and white terms ;)
Jordan: Tell that to those whose actions resulted in presidential candidate Barack Obama having to request more security due to racist threats he received.
Tell that to the families of the 2 white teens who attacked a Latino male in Texas during an attack that lasted 5 hours: stabbed repeatedly, beaten, and poured bleach on him in an attempt to destroy DNA evidence.
Tell that to the family of the Black woman in W. Virginia that was kidnapped, tortured, raped repeatedly, forced to eat rat, dog, and human feces, and forced to kiss/lick the genitals of the 6 whites (males and females) who kept her locked up for over a week.
Your own words prove my point: "whatever seems the most likely to be hurtful" ...The criticizers dig down deep to express something to hurt others.
ralph: Or maybe they are social creatures and have been socialized to believe such expressions will cause hurt.
Jordan: Humans ARE social creatures.
Despite your paragraph, why else say something like that if the intent is not to cause pain, hurt, etc.?
ralph: People that are "angry, excited, or drunk" or certifiably insane are not digging "down deep" to make whatever comments they make. They are simply drawing on superficial social conditioning. In effect, the conclusion to draw is the opposite of that made by some posters here.
Jordan: What I meant by that comment is that those types of comments are *usually* not on the "tips of the tongues."
ralph: Or maybe the person is simply insane. Let's try using this reasoning on another example. Say a person was an athiest all his/her life but ends up in a long-term care facility with an inoperable brain tumor and starts "spewing" his/her love of Allah and quoting the Koran day and night. Is this new behavior evidence of deeply seated religious beliefs that had been suppressed? Maybe the better answer, and the answer this person's friends would likely offer, is that he/she has lost his/her mind. Does the class follow?
Jordan: I still say "the person has lost the ability to suppress racist beliefs, which is different from "evidence of suppressed beliefs."
Someone doesn't start quoting information that they never knew before.
How is a person going to start quoting from the Koran, if he/she has never read or studied the Koran, etc.?!
That doesn't make sense. You're over-reaching, badly.
ralph: Like I said, eh? You really don't know a lot of Italians, do you?
Jordan: When I write the term whites, I'm NOT referring to each and every white person. I know a lot of "white" anti-racist social justice activists.
When I use the term I'm referring to an "overwhelming majority."
Hence, Italians are a very small percentage of the total number of whites in amerikkka.
raplh: Well, that's a nice Chumpsky-ish response. Maybe it is the case that "most" of this collection of persons are simply not racists? Making an assertion as quoted might work on readers that want to believe but it doesn't convince anybody. Where is the evidence?
Jordan: Where is your evidence that they are not racist?!
You don't have any.
However, I can post tons of surveys about "whites' attitudes/beliefs regarding 'race.' "
Or I could post stats showing the number of hate crimes committed by whites against African-/Asian-/Latino-/ and "Native"-Americans.
I could post the stats of cases involving employment discrimination, etc.
And tons and tons of other stuff that would obliterate your comments.
There's no way that a small group of people could be carrying out ALL those acts from coast to coast.....from Florida to Maine , Michigan to Texas, California to Washington state.
ralph: The expressions of "angry, excited, or drunk" or certifiably insane people constitutes evidence? To support this contention, it is suggested that we look at the behavior of "angry, excited, or drunk" or certifiably insane people, that might be identifiable with that spurious group, to find the desired evidence.
Jordan: Your flawed argument is rooted in how you are categorizing "angry, excited, drunk, or insane people".....as if those labels are their primary identification.
They are NOT a "spurious" group. They are everyday americans, your neighbors, your co-workers, etc., who when imbibing make slips of the tongue.
prior Jordan...the idea that everyone was equally prejudiced or racist... No way.....because you cannot generate the same disparities in my preceding paragraph for whites.
raplh: While I am tempted to complain about that typically American worldview that seems to be oblivious to the world beyond their borders,
Jordan: Racism and other isms are pervasive around the globe.
And all one has to do is look at the condition of various minority groups in Canada, Europe, Far East, etc.
Wasn't there sort of an uprising in France last year, regarding the marginalization of various immigrants populations?!
I don't know why you'd write something like that when I could easily go to google and find thousands of examples to the contrary.
ralph: it is perhaps more useful to note the internal limitation of this sort of thinking. It might be feasible to argue that some "whites" have power in the social structure of the USA, it is unreasonable and counter-productive to assert that all "whites" have power.
Jordan: I have NEVER written or implied that "all whites have power." I know that.
ralph: In a sense, doing so merely encourages a false sense of identification and produces false conflicts. Poor "whites" have much more in common with poor "blacks" than either group could ever have in common with rich "whites". That even goes for me and somebody like Jordan Mardan. I have much less in common with Bill Gates ;)
Jordan: I agree with that, for I've often written in othe forums, but have expanded it to inlcude members of the huge white middle class, too.
These people have nothing in common with those whites who can afford to sail around the world with a crew of 30 for 5 or 6 months...year after year after year.
Because their wealth doesn't come from wages and salaries. It comes from profits through ownership, investments, etc. Hence, I have to seriously wonder why the white middle class keeps voting people from that group into political office.
Remember when it was disclosed that presidential contender John Edwards spends $400 for a haircut?!
How many people in the white middle class could afford to do that every 2 weeks or however often they get their hair cut?!
However, the point you appear to be oblivious to is that fact that rich whites and the poor and middle classes of whites work as a team to keep other groups down.
For example, the leaders of various white supremacist groups in the US are typically wealthy and educated.
However, the rank and file membership are usually poor or of the working class, with a few middle class members.
The poor whites do the bidding of the wealthy whites.
In the South, and states like Michigan, Indiana, etc., many klan members held political offices in the past through a political machine known as the "white conservative citizen councils."
Senator Trent Lott was accused about 4 or 5 years ago of having been a member of such a council. So they still exist to some extent.
As I understand it, there's a klan here in Lexington madeup of white businessmen.
ralph: If someone opts to frame social conflicts on the basis of something as arbitrary as skin color, they are simply playing along with a mindset that seeks to deflect discussion of underlying conflicts with artificially created conflicts. I have little sympathy for claims that the core conflict in someplace like the USA is the color of a person's skin.
Jordan: If you're right, then why do many people continue to quote the words of the great sociologist W. E. B. Dubois: "The problem of the 20th century is the color line?"
ralph: That is not to suggest that such characteristics are always overlooked. I am simply emphasizing that this is not a fundemental issue.
Jordan: The fundamental issues are access to opportunities and valued resources (jobs.
However, it just so happens that "access to opportunities" in America in the past and still today are usually based on "race" or color.
But you have to remember that at various times members of Asian groups were considered to be white, and other times not white.
Back in 2004 in a debate between President Bush and his challenger John Kerry, the democratic nominee, a question about discrimination was asked of the two.
Now obviously, if discrimiantion is NOT a major issue, as some of you contend, why was such a question asked in a nationally televised presidential debate?!
Back to the point. Kerry answered by talking about better enforcement of the policies, etc. while Pres. Bush said, "We've got to find ways to open up opportunities for all Americans."
I suggest you read "American Ethnicity: The Dynamics and Consequences of Discrimination," 2nd edition, by Adalberto Aguiire, Jr., and Jonathan H. Turner.
The 280-page book examines the history of discrimination in America against People of Color (African-/Asian-/Latino-/ and "Native"-Americans, and the discrimination experienced by the various European ethnic groups untik they were assimilated in mainstream society.
It also contains a chapter titled "American Ethnic Relations in a Global Perspective."
I don't believe in "race," I generally use the term "ethnicity," and that's what the authors of the book use.
And please don't ask me a stupid question like "if race doesn't exist, how can racism exist?" The simple answer is "Those who *believe* in race are the ones who socially construct race. It's a social construction, not a biological designation.
They start out by telling about the various forms of ethnic conflict around the world: Yugoslavia's Muslim Bosnians and Serbians; in what used to be Czechoslovakia is now two nations divided by their perceived ethnic differences; Canada's French-speaking v. the English-speaking; the Palestinians and the Israelis, and so on.
They define ethnicity as "a population with unique organizational, behavioral, and cultural characteristics who have a shared historical experience, as well as religion, family practices, interpersonal style, language, beliefs, values, and other traits that are used to demark one population from another.
The more visible the characteristics marking ethncity, the more likely it is that those in an ethnic category will be treated differently."
Hence, we can see why color and other physical differences have been used to determine "who is in and who is out."
Back to the book: "When someone is labeled "black," more than skin color is involved; whole clusters of assumptions about historical experiences, behavior, organization, and culture are associated with this label. The same is true for labels such as 'white,' 'Asian,' 'Mexican,' 'Jew,' and 'Indian.'
In fact, as we will come to see, labels are often self-fulfilling in creating and sustaining ethnicity. If people are given a label because of their skin color and then discriminated against as if they were different, they will react to such treatment by behaving and organizing in ways that are indeed distinctive.
Once behavioral and organizational differences exist and are elaborated culturally into norms, beliefs, and other systems of symbols, they become an additional marker of differences, both 'justifying' the earlier label and the distinctive treatment of these others are somehow 'different.
So, if biological distinctiveness can become part of the label for denoting populations, then biology becomes an aspect of the social dynamics producing and sustaining ethnicity. Indeed, racial labels are like turbochargers in ethnic relations: They escalate the heat and power of emotions and tensions."(end)
I included that from the book to support my statement about "the color line."
It's not just color, but the meanings attached to the color and other physical characteristics.
And that's another reason why I don't susbcribe to being "colorblind." It's not the color but the meaning. And there's no way you could not see someone's color, etc....unless you were blind. And if you were blind, what would you think about if the person standing in front of you was identified as "Black" or whatever other label?!
What would come to mind?!
And by the way, there's a whole other thread about my belief that "race is an illusion."
So I was already referring to "arbitrariness" long before you began using it here.
Read it.
ralph: I have recently been introduced to a working class workplace where the ethnic composition varies tremendously and yet there seems to be high praise from all around and cooperation abounds. There are new immigrants from around the world, even a few Americans -- and a Newfoundlander. People can and do laugh about all the stereotypes out there when in an environment where such stereotypes are not encouraged or given serious consideration -- much less tolerated.
Jordan: That's great!!!!
But too bad such places are sure in the hell NOT the norm.
As with Italians, why do you keep citing exceptions to the rules...as if they somehow invalidate the norms or overwhelmng majorities I'm referring to?!
They don't.
However, I would like to know just who those ethnicities are.
prior Jordan: The comments made by whites are NOT an "expression of envy," but an expression of anger that those two people dared to " 'violate' " a social norm.
ralph: Here we go again. The original post mentioned "black" women and "white" men. Maybe the real bias is a person's socialized sensitivities and consequent notation of specific objections rather than the general reality surrounding the person?
Jordan: "Interesting."
You excluded my quote from its total context, and then proceeded to create something unrelated to what I wrote.
So I'm not going to address that until you go back and read the other sentences that go along with that quote.
ralph: If you were to ask me, I'd say that "black" men and "white" women tend to be the most objecting to an interracial coupling. Now, is that true or is it just that those are the objections I'm looking for? I know for a fact that I've had positive comments by plausible members of both of these arbitrarily assigned groups too. Others point to yet more arbitary groups.
Jordan: Within each of those labels ("Black" men/"white" women) there are a host of differences mitigated by socio-economic class, educational attainment, geographical location, etc., etc., etc. that makes it quite ridiculous to use racial labels, which have been used by whites, the dominant group in America for research categories, which make it appear that everyone under that label is all the same.
Of course, having written that I expect for you to ask, "well, why do you use the term white?"
And my reply would be, "I'm not referring to each and every white person, but instead an overwhelming majority."
ralph: Originally posted by tryster771 ...95% of whites are genuinely fair and color-blind. Very much agreed. If you ask me, that is true of all ethnic groups, all over the world. Even where you find substantial intolerance, even institutionalized intolerance, the chances are most of the people do not accept it at a personal level. I guess the world would be a better place if there was an easy way to project that often found personal sentiment onto society as a whole.
Jordan: Research shows substantially otherwise.
There is no way that only 5% of the white population could carry out all the forms of discrimination experienced in all 50 states. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/26/2007 6:40:59 PM | It just really REALLY annoys me to see people saying that black men won't/don't date black women because we are x,y,z  . I mean I couldn't care less who most people date because I don't know their story, but when someone blames their choice or preference on a supposed defect in an entire class (or nearly) of people, I think there are issues that someone needs to resolve. I for one don't appreciate being painted with that very very broad brush either. If someone likes white women, fine - just say you prefer them and don't try to blame it on someone else.
Now, I haven't read the entire thread (bad me) but I might say that black women could be against interracial dating due to the low rates at which African-American women date interraccial compared to others, for example Asian women and black been. This means that the dating pool for us would be incredible small :( and lets be honest, we simply aren't far away enough from the time when black women were automatically considered ugly by virtue of race. Those whispers of rejection and devaluation haven't quite been silenced - especially in a world where a woman's beauty can determine so much of her quality of life. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:54:24 AM | | Could you clarify that stance a bit more: you're saying that black women are against interracial dating because of the fact that they don't do it often vs. other ethnic groups? Isn't that a bit circular of an arguement? | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:49:07 AM | OP: I don't think you're missing anything other than the fact that not everyone will accept your choice to date outside your ethnic group. As long as you and your partner are ok with that decision is the only thing that matters much. I am quite open to interracial dating and besides that, I don't find too many African American men physically attractive, thus the reason why I have always been partial to men of other ethnicities. Do what makes you and the one you're with happy, screw the rest!!!
MsRiddle | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:25:49 PM |
I always got dirty looks from black women whenever we went out. I also got wierd looks from white guys
They were just admiring the contrast of the skin colours !
It happens to me all the time I go out with a black friend ( they actually stare at him....I never know if it is because he is handsome or if it is because he is with me  ) | |
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| Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:56:55 PM | Jordan and Ralph......leave the Italians out of here, ok?
We are just passionate.
Passion, you know? That vibrancy that you cannot find here in Vancouver...... That pulsating rhythm that black people still recognize?
Yes, Jordan: directness is not a talent of whites in general; Italians are the exception to the rule ( at least I am---although, I have to tell you: I have improved ( or have become worse, depending on the point of view) since I moved to Vancouver ( can't be too direct among all these Brits...: in Europe, no problem, but here? Forget it!).
Jordan: There is no way that only 5% of the white population could carry out all the forms of discrimination experienced in all 50 states
I agree: it is self-evident.
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| Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:07:10 PM | Personally, i would date and am attracted to both white and black women. I even have a Dalmation, and i love her black spots as much as the rest of her, lol.
Race would never dictate who i will or won't date. Its the person, not their race that i am interested in. If they are white, black, asian, indian, whatever.......its whats inside her heart that matters most to me. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:32:17 PM |
Could you clarify that stance a bit more: you're saying that black women are against interracial dating because of the fact that they don't do it often vs. other ethnic groups? Isn't that a bit circular of an arguement?
To clarify:
1. Some black women might have less opportunity to date interracial compared to black men
2. Some black men, given opportunity date interracially
3. Pool of available dates shrinks for some black women
4. Said black women may begin to disapprove of interracial dating, seeing it as the cause of fewer available dates | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:20:01 PM | B-dancerM: you're whole arguement rests on the concept that black women have less opportunity to date interraciall compared to black men, but that that just doesn't make any sense. Women of both races work in the same environments, go to the same schools, etc, so they would have equal opportunities to date interracially. The only way they could limit their opportunities is if they choose to avoid men of other races on purpose
And before you say that white men don't date black women, I should remind you that men of all colours will date women of all colours if given the chance by the woman. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:25:01 AM |
B-dancerM: you're whole arguement rests on the concept that black women have less opportunity to date interraciall compared to black men, but that that just doesn't make any sense. Women of both races work in the same environments, go to the same schools, etc, so they would have equal opportunities to date interracially. The only way they could limit their opportunities is if they choose to avoid men of other races on purpose
I personally think that is the case - for a variety of reasons. I simply don't think that both (now I am assuming you mean white and black) women have the same opportunity. First, I am working with the assumption that men tend to initiate contact re dating/relationships - not always and things are certainly changing but more so than women. I think men of other races will be reticent re approaching black women while black men will not have the same issues re approaching women of other races. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/7/2008 12:52:38 PM | Certainly, that is your opinion, but I would caution you that while men initiate the contact with women, they only do so after getting the go ahead signal from the women (ie. smile, hair toss, etc). Secondly, I've seen men date women of all colours, so its probably safe to say that men aren't sensitive to colour differentiation
Put it all together - if there are few black women dating interacially, then it is due to self selection by women more than anything else, and not to due to external factors. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:28:55 AM | This is a VERY complex problem, but it does exist (at least where I come from). Black women, on the whole, really ain't into the interracial thing.
I've dated women across the board. I got no issues regarding race and who I date. If I like a woman, then that's good enough for me. The last girlfriend I had was Black, and she was seriously pissed at me when I told her that I did date outside my race.
My most significant relationship was with a Chinese woman. So, when we were dating, she'd give Oriental women a rude look or a stare, and then say crap to me like "I bet you want to go out with that..." I won't repeat what she said, but it was HIGHLY offensive.
My own mother, who did marry a White guy once (suffice to say it did end badly LOL) would prefer, deep down, that I only dated Black girls. She tried to explain to me that such attitudes are some weird throwback to the days of Slavery, when Black Women were regularly raped by White Men, and then usually by Black Men afterwards and that Black Men always had this thing for White Women.
Well.. Something on those lines anyway... But I seriously find it hard to believe that the ills of the past can still affect, quite significantly, the present. But then there are pressures here too. A lot of Black Men seem unable or unwilling to play their vital roles as fathers to the children that they helped bring into this World. A lot of Black Women see this, and that HAS to affect them also. I.e. perhaps a lot of them feel that they have to FIGHT in order to keep "their" men and make sure that they play that father role ('cos God knows we need it!).
Anyway, I could waffle on and on about this complex problem. To be honest however, as I've gotten older, I do find myself seeking more and more to date within my race. But at the end of the day, if I like a woman outside my race, no force on this planet is going to stop me pursuing her. | |
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| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 1/14/2008 11:34:13 PM | starfun7: Instead of putting all our efforts in making excuses why we cant succeed (re: that whole paragraph quoted above) lets put that same effort in giving reasons why we should work harder to succeed.
Jordan: To interpret my paragraph as an "excuse why we can't succeed"...is nothing but ph_ _ cking bullshit.
If any one of us believed that, then why do so many many of us enroll in college and graduate?
Why would I be working on two masters?!
The items in that paragraph represent barriers or obstacles (both terms mean the same thing) that are being addressed by social justice activists or agencies like Human Rights Commissions or the EEOC.
And what in the hell does "excuses why we can't succeed" have to do with "distorted research methods (use of "race" as a research variable, meaning "race" explains the differences); over-reporting Black and Latino pathology while under-reporting white and Asian pathology; gerrymandering; directing/steering People of Color with excellent credit histories to the sub-prime loans market; not calling for a job interview people with Black-sounding names; having low expectations for some students and thus don't push them to achieve at a higher level; disparate sentences for whites and People of Color committing the same crime...despite having similar criminal backgrounds and/or lawyers with comparable skills; disproportionate placement of Children of Color into the foster care system?!"
Not one damn thing.
You've been listening to too much talk radio.
Did a white conservative "friend" of yours coerce you into taking such a stand?!
starfun7: Our role models are those very ones leading us astray. We were here before the Italians, Irish, Chinese, Mexicans etc etc...!! and they were all discriminated against but worked harder to suceed.
Jordan: Really?
As I wrote earlier, Asian Americans arrived here under selective immigration laws that only allowed the "cream of the crop" of their countries to come to the US between 1882 and 1965.
That's one reason Asian Americans as a group are doing better than even white people.
It would be ridiculous to compare/contrast ALL Blacks with a group where only the "cream of the crop" could immigrate to America for most of their existence in this country. (and, of course, it wouldn't even be fair to compare them with whites).
NONE OF THE OTHER GROUPS YOU MENTIONED HAD TO start with slavery, battle Jim Crow, desegregation, etc., etc., etc.
However, they have and do benefit from the gains of the Civil Rights Movement.
Among the groups you named, which of them have a system of colleges parallel to the Historical Black Colleges and Universities?! (HBCUs)
None.
And if "race" isn't an issue, why would Obama have to request additional protection from the Secret Service?
There's a barrier that's requires more of our tax money to address.
Racial ignorance requires a lot of tax money to enforce the civil rights laws, money that could be going towards other purposes.
Jordan Mardan | |
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