| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/3/2008 12:07:12 PM |
ome states changed the definition of black/white as a measure to reduce discrimination and racism. Why the hell do you think white people would do such a thing?
Use your head instead of your angry spirit.
You didn't google one drop rule" did you?
Well, in turn, you as a black woman, and judging by your posts, do not know the reasons I, as a white man, wouldn't date you. And believe me, it's not because you are black/mixed race. The comment below may give you a hint:
Firstly, I'm not black. I'm Irish, Norwegian and Chinese. For the purposes of these forums I identify as white because that is the label I was raised with and the perspective I can speak from. On my profile I chose "other ethnicity" for a variety of reasons.
Secondly, I never suggested I know the reasons you wouldn't date me, but your suggestion that you understand what it is to be a black woman.
^^^ That comment alone indicates how a relationship with you would be... yet, you claim it's the white guys with attitude and you're the victim.
Grow up.
I haven't claimed to be a victim at all! Where on earth did you read that? I don't think you're paying attention to what's being said ad who's saying it.
Starfun7 likes fairy tales... you like drama. Guess which one is more appealing?
There is what's appealing, and then there's the truth that needs to be said. And guess how much I care whether or not you'd date me? | |
|
| CRASH
Posted: 4/3/2008 3:25:11 PM |
Jordan: Of course it will take much more time than most people think because...bullshit movies like the movie Crash ignored institutional racism.
Unlike the *individual* prejudice/racism that cpt points out (Black dudes' comments to him on the streets), those in power express their racism by denial of employment; distorted research methods (use of "race" as a research variable, meaning "race" explains the differences); over-reporting Black and Latino pathology while under-reporting white and Asian pathology; gerrymandering; directing/steering People of Color with excellent credit histories to the sub-prime loans market; not calling for a job interview people with Black-sounding names; having low expectations for some students and thus don't push them to achieve at a higher level; disparate sentences for whites and People of Color committing the same crime...despite having similar criminal backgrounds and/or lawyers with comparable skills; disproportionate placement of Children of Color into the foster care system www.jointheconversation.net/
and on and on and on.
The movie Crash projected the idea that everyone was equally prejudiced or racist.
No way.....because you cannot generate the same disparities in my preceding paragraph for whites.
Exactly. The difficulty here is that most white people don't see how racism is different than having a stereotype. We all have stereotypes we've learned about other ethnicities. The difference that most white folks fail to understand is that racism is the application of those stereotypes against people of color, WITH THE POWER TO BACK IT UP.
If you watch the movie with this in mind, you will see how the racist acts and demonstration of stereotyping of the white characters has the added weight of intimidation and power behind it. | |
|
| CRASH
Posted: 4/3/2008 5:41:52 PM | [quoteYou didn't google one drop rule" did you?]
Yes... I googled it. That rule is specific to the USA... as the article stated. "No other country in the world" adapted nor incorporated such a rule. I choose to ignore such a stupid concern because this country (Canada) took measures to assist blacks from slavery (i.e. Underground railroad). That was never an issue and I would have never known about it until you posted it. Besides, how is that relevant? That rule was made approx. 100 years ago.... it seems to be a rather silent, inconsequential rule given the newer laws in place (40 years old, or less)
I identify as white because that is the label I was raised with..................On my profile I chose "other ethnicity" for a variety of reasons
How convenient. Your credibility on this issue diminishes immensely. I interpret you as saying "I am white when I need to be... but I am a minority when I need to be."
I don't think you're paying attention to what's being said ad who's saying it
Are you speaking as a white person or as a minority race/ethnicity? You blurred the lines as to who you really are. Are you on the defensive? Or on the offensive?
There is what's appealing, and then there's the truth that needs to be said.
"Need" or "want"? May I remind you of a comment you previously posted:
My I, I am here to tell you that as a white male you only know what it is like to be just that, a white male. You cannot understand the experience of a black female in any way and to suggest that you do is offensive
You're not a black woman...therefore, I say to you:
You cannot understand the experience of a black female in any way and to suggest that you do is offensive | |
|
| CRASH
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:34:40 PM | No one can win with you My I. First you said that it was because of statements that thesecretofjoy made that you don't date Black women. Now that you find out she is of mixed heritage and raised in a White community you attack her credibility. You say that she is not credible to speak about the experience of Black women yet I have seen you attack Black women on here who have spoken about their experiences. It reminds me of a saying that the Native people had to describe this double speak.
I choose to ignore such a stupid concern because this country (Canada) took measures to assist blacks from slavery (i.e. Underground railroad).
My I, I know that Black history is not emphasized in Canadian schools so the gaps in your knowledge can be excused. However, before you make statements like that, you would do well to do some research about the history of Black people and other visible minority groups in this country.
Perhaps you should find out who was REALLY responsible for the underground railroad. It was not the fine White citizens of Canada. Maybe look into how the Black people who made it to Canada through the underground railroad were treated when they got here. Research the challenges the settlers at the Buxton Settlement faced as well as the Black people who settled in communities like Chatham, St. Catherine, and Owen Sound. Their experiences were far from peachy keen and wonderful and these poeple did not receive a warm reception when they got here.
Canadians are not the innocent saviours of Black people you would like to make them out to be. That is a myth. In fact, the Canadian track record is far from exemplary when it comes to how visible minorities have been treated. Slavery was alive and well in Canada particularly in the maritme provinces , Lower Canada and Upper Canada. If you have any interest in finding out the truth about these matters you might try doing searches for "slavery Upper Canada", "slavery Lower Canada", "slavery Nova Soctia". A film about "Marie-Joseph Angélique", a Black slave who started a fire that burned down a good portion of Montreal will be released in a year or 2. If you google her name, you will learn a lot. This story is STILL not told in Canadian history books.
While you are at it you might want to do some research about the deplorable manner in which Japanese Canadians and Chinese immigrants have been treated. Even though Canadian history textbooks remain silet about the Head Tax on Chinese males to discourage Chinese immigration and the Asian Exclusion Act that was passed when the head tax didn't reduce Chinese immigration as m uch as the powers that be would have liked, these were very real and disgraceful aspects of Canada's history.
Of course, the experiences of the Native People would be a real eye opener. Italian immigrants (who were not really regarded as "white" did not escape very bad treatment in this country). Even the Irish had a VERY rough time when they first came here. These challenges did not end HUNDREDS of years ago as some would like to believe. It was not until human rights legislation was passed relatively recently that some of the more blatant forms of discrimination were shoved underground. That doesn't change what happens behind closed doors. The only difference is that now no one comes out and tells people the real reason they didn't get that job, that aparment, that promotion, that DATE  It's all covered up behind polite  It's way too easy and comfortable to blame the individual.
Some of our parents and grandparents lived through these experiences. Fortunately, there are some of us in the Black Canadian, West Indian, Chinese, Japanese, and Native Canadian communities who have not forgotten what they told us and who aren't fooled by the polite veneer. | |
|
| CRASH
Posted: 4/3/2008 9:20:45 PM | There isn't a whole lot to add to this except to say that, obviously, "white" is not an ethnicity, which seems to be a huge sticking point with a lot of people.
My I, am not blurred or in any way not clear on who I am. I have never claimed to know or understand the experiences of others, only my own. But when I hear black women share their experiences and have them shot down over and over again by others, who obviously feel they can speak with authority about what someone else has or has not experienced, I will point that out.
As for choosing "other ethnicity" for my profile, I AM an other ethnicity. I make that clear so that any guy having an issue with that knows about it up front. Also, as I'm sure you've figured out, I have some very strong feelings about these topics and this forum isn't the only place I talk about them. I'm being very up front about who I am and what I'm passionate about.
If you had actually read my previous posts, you'd see that I've already explained my ethnicities. | |
|
| CRASH
Posted: 4/3/2008 9:39:30 PM | Well... since you are so passionate about the plight of "some" black women, why not answer the question for the black woman who started this thread with the question:
I am asking this question due to my personal experience. During my marriage (to a caucasian) I always got dirty looks from black women whenever we went out. I also got wierd looks from white guys. Is there something I am missing in this supposedly "tolerant melting-pot" city of Toronto? Or is this everywhere? Honest answers will be really appreciated
You already shared your views about white men. How do you feel about the black women as the OP described?
In my opinion.... and as a white man who is friends with several black women.... and recieved stares as well... I say to let them broil in their own world of hate and intolerance.... don't even acknowledge they exists because they feed off any type contact/acknowledgement/attention they can invoke........ that goes for all genders, ethnicities who behave in that manner.
What's your opinion? | |
|
| CRASH
Posted: 4/5/2008 11:59:12 PM | I'm going to caution you all - if this continues in this fashion with any more further personal attacks the thread will be closed plus any other disciplinary actions.
 | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:36:23 PM | "Because other races don't want them, so when their guys go with other races, like white women, they have less to choose from and that pisses them off. It's simply."
OMG! What fresh hell have I stumbled upon? AlmondCookie this is all your fault. Drat!
Now, for you two: Hominidae and MovieFan,
As either of you are not black women how dare you profess to know the answer to the proposed question, which is a fallacy on its face. Black women are no less open to interracial relationships than our nonblack counterparts. The world is diverse and there is room for all of us. Well, when I say us, I mean those of us who use more than .0001 percent of our gray matter, which clearly doesn't include...well, I don't want to get sanctioned.
Specifically to MovieFan,
 It is the likes of Plain Janes like you who are jealous of us. We are Phenomenal Woman (if you read, Google Maya Angelou and read that one). We have more mystery, sex appeal and allure in our little pinkies than...again the sanction bit. Prey tell what could I be jealous of? Btw, I have many beautiful women friends and relatives of all colors and creeds, including white women...I just happen not to be jealous of anyone and that includes YOU. I can appreciate the beauty of another's differences. Can you?
How dare you. I guess this thread was an avenue for racist rhetoric. Pffft! | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:08:18 PM | Well said Lois Lane.
For the record, I am not the only woman who is not White who has posted about the constant rejection women of colour receive on here. There are some exceptions of course but the majority of White men to whom one writes don't respond or say that they are not prepared to give consideration to a woman who isn't White for anything other than friendship. I stopped initiating contact with White men LONG ago. I have made a rare exception if I have seen someone who is really into one of my major interests. I have found that usually doesn't matter. Most would rather be with a White woman who doesn't even share their interests. Such is life!
I agree with you, it isn't the Black woman who tend to be against interracial dating. In my experience, it is most White and some Asian men. That is why I am only here for the profiles now. There aren't many Black guys here and no matter how open one is to interracial dating, there is absolutely no point in initiating contact when the response is usually negative.
As I have discussed with you off-line before today and I have no problem saying it on-line, I have seen a number of Black women on here YOU INCLUDED who are absolutely drop dead gorgeous and on a level playing field would never need a dating site to find someone truly wonderful. I do hope that you find a man who will treat you really well and with whom you will be truly happy. | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:04:49 AM | I've been asking the white men I know this question lately. Would they or have they dated a black woman? Several got pretty squirmy about answering (they know me) and said they would but "they didn't know any". Further discussion revealed that most of them just "didn't think of black women that way". They have been brainwashed.
Every black woman I know is open to dating men (or women ;-) of any ethnicity.
The men who said yes, they would date a black woman lit up like Christmas trees. Why? Because they are so exotic, so lovely, so so so different... here's a poem a friend just sent me that speaks to that:
Exotic - Suheir Hammad
don't wanna be your exotic
some delicate fragile colorful bird
imprisoned caged
in a land foreign to the stretch of her wings
don't wanna be your exotic
women everywhere are just like me
some taller darker nicer than me
but like me but just the same
women everywhere carry my nose on their faces
my name on their spirits
don't wanna
don't seduce yourself with
my otherness my hair
wasn't put on top of my head to entice
you into some mysterious black voodoo
the beat of my lashes against each other
ain't some dark desert beat
it's just a blink
get over it
don't wanna be your exotic
your lovin of my beauty ain't more than
funky fornication plain pink perversion
in fact nasty necrophilia
cause my beauty is dead to you
I am dead to you
not your
harem girl geisha doll banana picker
pom pom girl pum pum shorts coffee maker
town whore belly dancer private dancer
la malinche venus hottentot laundry girl
your immaculate vessel emasculating princess
don't wanna be
your erotic
not your exotic | |
|
| |
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:35:49 PM | LOL!
This thread was more heat than light.
Hope it was worth it to those that needed.
Sure seems like a whole load of stress about nothing... 'Cos I doubt people's racial preferences will change either way.
The correct term is "prejudices"...racial "prejudices" and you're right. It's a hopeless case. People's prejudices are deeply engrained and unlikely to change. In an on-line environment where they have no opportunity to interact with individuals, the liklihood of change is reduced from slim to none. It is also clear that it is not the Black women who are against interracial relationships, it is the White men. As thesecretof joy pointed out, the Black women I know aren't against interracial relationships. They just want a level playing field. Black men dating White women while White men for the most part refuse to even consider dating a Black woman can hardly be considered a level playing field. | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/29/2008 10:52:30 AM |
The correct term is "prejudices"...racial "prejudices" and you're right. It's a hopeless case. People's prejudices are deeply engrained and unlikely to change. In an on-line environment where they have no opportunity to interact with individuals, the liklihood of change is reduced from slim to none. It is also clear that it is not the Black women who are against interracial relationships, it is the White men. As thesecretof joy pointed out, the Black women I know aren't against interracial relationships. They just want a level playing field. Black men dating White women while White men for the most part refuse to even consider dating a Black woman can hardly be considered a level playing field.
I prefer to use the term "preferences" as I find nothing wrong with some people that wish to date inside their own, or indeed some other, race. Sure... SOME of them may base that solely on race alone and thus you could deem that as "racially prejudicial". But heck, I have a preference for "slim", "average" and "athletic" women... Does that make me prejudicial against "over-weight" people? I don't think so... My mum is over weight and I love her with all my heart.
Do not generalize and over simplify this highly complex issue. My last girlfriend, who was black, would not date a white man in a million years. For all sorts of reasons. And yes, she was PASSIONATELY against interracial relationships. I mean, I dated a Chinese woman for 5 years a while ago... And she was really disappointed with the fact that I do date outside my race.
But that is MY preference and nobody else’s. I can respect her view on interracial relationships, but it's not MY view... And that is all that matters to me... What I think and nobody else.
Anyway... Complex issues require a complex debate... And I'm afraid we didn't really get one here... Just a lot of hot air... But then again, it is in my experience that ANY debate with the word "race" in it.... Usually devolves into a meaningless and heated debate about nothing.
Oh I've had my fair share of getting into race rows and have come to the realization that nothing really changes... No matter how well you construct a water tight argument, some people will still insist that the "World is flat"... It isn't of course... But you get my point 
If certain people wish to remain bigoted and ignorant and live in total darkness... Then so be it! Screw 'em and let them remain unenlightened! It's no skin off my nose. | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:09:46 AM | | Ah, something we can agree on. Nothing really changes, at least in a general sense. But things can and do change with individuals. Regardless, I will continue participating in the conversations. Not talking about the elephant in the corner doesn't mean it isn't there. | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:18:12 PM | By all means participate thesecretofjoy. All I'm saying is:
A) Don't hold your breath when it comes to certain individuals "seeing the Light". Believe me, that RARELY happens if indeed it can even happen online. Sure... It's happened in Real Life perhaps... But online??? That's debateable. However, I suppose it's possible that an online debate MAY get that ball of enlightenment rolling for SOME people. "MAY" and "SOME" being the operative words.
B) If in the usual circumstance that you don't get through... Then take it from me... Don't sweat it! Believe it or not, there are groups of people out here whose sole purpose in Life is to stir up trouble and strife. "Trolls" some call them and believe me, you DON'T want to feed the trolls.
Just my 2 cents... But hey... For what's its worth... Good Luck! | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:54:15 AM | } quote " I've been asking the white men I know this question lately. Would they or have they dated a black woman? Several got pretty squirmy about answering (they know me) and said they would but "they didn't know any". Further discussion revealed that most of them just "didn't think of black women that way". "end of quote}
This reminded me of a discussion I had a few years ago. At the time, I was dating a black female Police Officer and this topic came up while I was having lunch with 8 other co workers, all trades guys ( white guys who were refrigeration mechanics, electricians and engineers). A comment was made that kind of startled me, so I came right out and asked the other guys point blank if they would date a Black woman. Of the 8, 3 said yes .
Something interesting was that, none of the other guys would date a Lady who was a cop though, no matter what her race was. | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:28:34 AM | This is what I have been saying ALL along.
} quote " I've been asking the white men I know this question lately. Would they or have they dated a black woman? Several got pretty squirmy about answering (they know me) and said they would but "they didn't know any". Further discussion revealed that most of them just "didn't think of black women that way". "end of quote}
This reminded me of a discussion I had a few years ago. At the time, I was dating a black female Police Officer and this topic came up while I was having lunch with 8 other co workers, all trades guys ( white guys who were refrigeration mechanics, electricians and engineers). A comment was made that kind of startled me, so I came right out and asked the other guys point blank if they would date a Black woman. Of the 8, 3 said yes . | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 5/9/2008 1:35:18 PM |
Something interesting was that, none of the other guys would date a Lady who was a cop though, no matter what her race was.
Almond... it's interesting you chose to omit this part ^^^^^^^
I guess it's not fuel for your fire.
As I read posts from some white people and posts from some black people, I can see both groups have people willing to perpetuate and prolong hate and intolerance. If we can get rid of those prejudice white people and those prejudice black people there would be no need for shit like this to be posted. | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:27:32 AM | I CERTAINLY AM NOT AGAINST INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP
IF YOUR COMPATIBLE THEN NO MATTER WHAT RACE YOU WILL BE STRONG. THE ETHNIC BACKGROUNDS COMING TOGETHER MAKES THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR ALL.
caps are used to denote how strongly I feel about the subject..... | |
|
| Why aRe MORE Black Women Against Interracial RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:50:45 PM |
Something interesting was that, none of the other guys would date a Lady who was a cop though, no matter what her race was.
Almond... it's interesting you chose to omit this part ^^^^^^^
I guess it's not fuel for your fire.
Please note this is not the "Would you date a female cop thread". We have already been asked by at least one moderator to stay on topic  | |
|
Home
login 
