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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 5:50:25 AM | What do girls think of guys who take antidepressants? Some one already responded "I think they are depressed". (That was just too amusing)
Personally however I think that anyone who is taking medication for mood alterations is already dealing with too much to even consider starting a new relationship. Anti-depressants are often just a temporary Band-Aid used to get over a hurdle in life - and I believe that if one is too busy jumping emotional hurdles then how can they be emotionally ready to start a new relationship. Sometimes you have to deal with one issue at hand before moving on to the next chapter in life.
Of course there are cases when anti-depressants are being used for actual medical conditions beyond just depression (such as epilepsy as one gentleman said) - in that case he isn't depressed or dealing with emotional issues, he is dealing with a physical limitation that is being helped through the use of anti-depressants. That is a different starting point in my book and he may very well be ready to move forward in life with a relationship. I would not have any issues dating someone in that situation. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 8:01:22 AM | I lived with a guy who was "on" antidepressants. He was prescribed them, but refused to take them, instead stockpiling them in his bedroom and claiming that he'd use them for an overdose. This behaviour was accompanied by cutting himself and leaving the bloody bandages in communal areas, and emotionally manipulating other people in the house to take responsibility for his behaviour. This guy wasn't just depressed. He had a complex personality disorder, which prevented him from taking responsibility for himself.
Antidepressants are a fantastic field of drugs, and provide relief from symptoms that can make life genuinely unlivable. They are not a cop out when you can't face life's problem, and to suggest they are is naive and prejudiced. I'm very clear to people that I won't date someone with depression unless they have it under control. I'm sympathetic, but I won't excuse their accountability. If someone mentions that they're depressed, don't take it at face value. If they're using their depression to tug at your heartstrings, avoiding their medication, and going to some lengths to avoid getting treatment, run a mile. Depression is fine, but antidepressants aren't just for depression. If they're not willing to take responsibility for their condition, then no amount of medication is going to help. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:18:21 PM | | I don't take anti-depressants, but I do take narcotic pain meds (prescribed) everyday because I hurt my shoulder BADLY lifting weights a few years ago. The fact is, some people will judge you for taking pills while other people are a little more open minded. Some will argue that I am an addict but who really knows the pain I am in? I would challenge anybody to be in the pain I can be in at times and NOT take pain meds, especially with the kind of work that I do. Most of them would be lazy, sedentary individuals anyway and chances are that I have accomplished more than they have!Only YOU know what you need to live a normal life and as long as you take care of your responsibilities, who cares? If someone can't accept you for who YOU are and you are a good person, then they are not worthy of your time. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:44:49 PM | Oh good grief. *rolls eyes* I wonder if some of the women here actually understand what depression really is. It doesn't mean crazy, psycho, or broken. It's just a brain chemistry thing.
Look. Your brain releases a substance called neurotransmitters to help signals travel between the synapses. Think of it a bit like lubricating oil between two moving parts. The thing about neurotransmitters is that they're released into the spaces between the synapses, they do their job, and then they're sucked back up again (reuptake) so that they can be released again for the next cycle.
What the antidepressent drugs do (at least the SSRI drugs) is that they cause the neurotransmitter (of which there is likely not enough, which is the actual problem) to hang around longer before getting sucked back up, so they have time to do their job, and get all the signals across the gaps between neurons.
What that means is, that as long as a person is taking their medication, they are indistinguishable from an otherwise perfectly healthy person without those brain chemistry issues. They aren't "depressed" if their meds are doing their job.
To say that you shouldn't form relationships or date someone who is taking drugs for depression is like saying you shouldn't form relationships or date someone who is taking food for starvation.
There may be other reasons not to date someone, other personality flaws, even other mental illness issues. But merely taking antidepressants isn't one of them.
(takes Wellbutrin, operates on norepinepherine instead of seratonin) | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:57:20 PM | | There are some people who have been cursed with a genetic predisposition to depression and antidepressants can be a godsend. If they take it and it works for them, makes the quality of their lives better (and those who have to live with or deal them), then it is a good thing, possibly a "public service". Of course, one needs to get their life together as well to enjoy the full benefit. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:46:04 PM | i'm currently on anto depressents and getting there, taking them just over a year now and have to say i expect to go on a lower dose in the next month or 2 and maybe in the next while (months or years who knows) will have to stop taking them
i tell people i'm out with i'm on them some people run away others are ok about it
some people don't understand depression they think you can sit down talk to someone for 5 mins, have a cry and your 'cured' but it's not like that, it;s a medical condition that lots of people suffer from but for some reason seems to be almost a crutch for people
as for me i'm usally laughing and joking it's just stuff that happened in my marrige that put me on the meds
(well there goes my dating on POF  ) | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:52:23 PM | I think all the pills we take in this society are ridiculous! Think about it; so many antidepressants without therapy or couseling? A mask to avoid dealing with the real issues. They should be used SHORT TERM, unless you have a serious mental illness. The other thing that makes me crazy, people drink with them too. I believe in meds IF you truly require them, too many are just taking a pill to cope with life's ups and downs. Male or female, temporary use to get you over a rough patch is great, prolonged use, well you tell me? | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:04:15 PM | But who knows if the depression is "reactional" or "chronic" unless you go off the pills and see how it goes. But that's kinda scary too.
Maybe I would be better off NOT knowing if a man I'm interested in, uses ADs until it got more serious, because to be honest...I don't think I would tell anyone AT ALL...till I had too. I don't need them and hope I never have too....it would dull my sparkle, I think...then again, I flunked medical school...but practice anyway. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:56:32 PM | Forum Wanderer, let me direct you back up a few messages to my previous entry, and further up still where the guy said that antidepressants are not "happy pills."
They are not short-term drugs. They take weeks to build up to therapeutic levels sometimes. And no amount of therapy or counseling is going to make someone's brain start producing more neurotransmitters. There IS no "real issues" causing the depression. It's just something that is. You don't "catch" depression from circumstances.
You say "just taking a pill to cope" and "to get you over a rough patch" as if you think that these are some kind of "uppers" or "quick fixes". That's not how they operate. My glasses are not to get me over a temporary "rough patch" of bad vision. Instead, I use them long term to restore my sight to full capacity. Glasses don't change what you see other than putting everything back in focus... and that's just how antidepressants work. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:05:27 PM | I'd rather him take what he needs to be reasonable and happy than to be sad/tired/negative/lifeless/etc. all the time. We can't pick our gene-pool. And I have my own set of issues (like everyone else) and I think it would not only be hypocritical for me to think in other terms, but it would also classify me as non-empathetic. No thanks ~ I care about other people. If someone has a problem, let's fix it. JMO  | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:25:45 PM | Responsibility is the most important thing here, I think: does the person take responsibility for their moods or emotional well-being and consequent behaviour?
I am not keen on the use of anti-depressants, I personally would not use them unless I was a danger to myself or to others: in other words, if my chemically-induced emotional state overruled my rational mind. However, I know that they appear to help a lot of people to lead normal and happier lives. I think the danger for me in being involved with someone on such medication is that I would support them in trying alternatives to it.
It is hard to measure depression, being as it is very subjective. I spent years feeling that I did not want to live, that I hated myself and longing to obliterate myself not just suicide, I wanted to erase every trace that I'd ever existed. As a miserable child I reproached my parents for having had me. I lived for years only out of a sense of responsibility. I felt so worthless that I could not make any decision to relieve my suffering that would cause anyone else a moments suffering. This changed in my mid 20's and I'm truly a very optimistic person, but still, in questionnaires designed to detect depression I score very highly.
I have always been able to use reason to direct my choices in response to my often overwhelming emotions and I don't know how normal this is. I have always been able to stand back from myself and observe and ask whether or not I am being rational. For a long time I feared being overwhelmed. Depression is like a great flood and adrift in a tiny boat, rocked by huge waves, unable to reach your normal emotional responses, I am perhaps very fortunate that the logical part of my brain has always worked.
I didn't know what depression was for a long time, certainly my parents had never heard of it and since there was no reason for me to feel overwhelmed with grief or that I couldn't cope, my feelings were dismissed as being silly or melodramatic. Over the years I learned more and more about how it worked, by observing myself and reflecting on my experiences and later by reading some useful papers on depression.
I can get depressed even when life is wonderful and I'm very happy. A searing wave of grief can swamp me out of a clear blue sky... or it can creep in, insidiously inspiring morbid images of self-destruction in my head and feelings of self-loathing. The moment I recognise depression, I know to detach from my emotions to some extent: to recognise that my normal emotional responses are not within my reach. I learned not to look for reasons for the feelings I have at this time, nor to make decisions requiring any emotional stance that I could not remember as being my normal response. Basically, it is like going about your normal life with the recognition that you've got a cold and your sense of smell therefore doesn't work. Only more complicated and involving rather more suffering.
I am mainly against taking drugs to alleviate that suffering because I understand that they slow your thinking and dull your creativity. I don't trust doctors to care about the things that are important to me: I've already been given medicine once that adversely affected my health though they didn't see fit to offer any warning. When friends or acquaintances are on drugs and it is clearly helping them then I would be able to stand back and be happy that they are getting the help they need, but my special someone is too close for me to do that. I would be very afraid that he was damaging his mind and I would want him to seek alternatives. My special someone suffers with depression as I do, he does not lose control of himself, only of his mood, like me. We both know that it passes and it is not the symptom of an emotional problem, only a chemical one. Acceptance and understanding are vital. If the depressed one can control their actions and take responsibility for their mood then the one who is not depressed can offer silent support, acceptance, understanding and extra hugs until the cloud passes over.
If the person cannot control themselves without drugs, if they get angry or violent without their medication, then honestly, I would find that scary to be around. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:32:08 PM | | I am not debating the true need at all, there are always extenuating circumstances. I simply can't tolerate a pill for everything and in society it has become acceptable in most cases. I don't deny those are people that NEED the medication, I don't live in a cave, but they are HIGHLY addictive and dangerous and YOU do need to be under medical supervision to continue with them. It is fact, many people DRINK with them for the high..............................many are short term usage only. I do not look down upon any person that requires them to function on a daily basis - BUT - I do frown on the use, just to use. Please read for content and thanks! | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 7:45:48 PM | Well it would be a total double standard for me to refuse a guy for taking them, now wouldn't it?
I see what you're getting at. It sucks that men are supposed to be the 'strong' ones in a relationship and apparently men might worry that antidepressants might make them seem weak. But women feel the same way...at least that's how I feel. I'm worried someone might think I'm weak.
The guy I've liked more than any other guy was on them. It didn't change a thing. I still think of him always. Why should it matter? It doesn't matter. It matters to me about as much as correctional lenses (which by the way I think are effing sexy on a man-bespectacled guys had better watch out!-especially the ones who wear the thick horn rimmed ones kinda buddy holly style). But I digress. To answer your question: No, it wouldn't matter. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 8:26:17 PM | | Would not be a big deal at all to me...as long as he didn't lie about it. Just because I HATE liars. But I used to be on antidepressants, and anytime I go to a therapist or psychiatrist they still try to give me a bunch of medication--anti-depressants, nerve pills, etc. I have alot of anxiety & depression, but I won't take anything. Because it doesn't help me at all. I just feel like a zombie or something...just makes me sleepy all the time. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/11/2007 9:08:48 PM | | ive never been depressed, but ive read about the topic, and to reply to the posting about meds working, and no longer being depressed, usually meds take a year to correct the problem or longer. Its treatment, not just a instant fix. | |
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| what do girls think of guys who take antidepressants?
Posted: 7/12/2007 11:14:13 AM |
ive never been depressed, but ive read about the topic, and to reply to the posting about meds working, and no longer being depressed, usually meds take a year to correct the problem or longer. Its treatment, not just a instant fix.
Hmm ~ not sure what you've read or where you've read it, but that just isn't exactly accurate. Many times today, with the new time released medications, health care providers who are now able to more effectively diagnose the correct disorder or illness in a timely manner, it's no longer a long process getting relief from the symptoms themself. Most medications and providers cautiously state 4 - 6 weeks before the full effect of the medication ~ as the half-life must build up enough to be constant in the system. I have one friend that literally felt the positive effects of an anti-depressant within days. He may be a rare case, but I noticed a difference in his obsessive thinking, what-if thinking, etc., nearly immediately.
What does take a lot of time are the therapies that should accompany the medications. Cognitive therapy for some, mental health counselors for others, etc. And I personally think that every single human being on the planet should be required to work on their own self at certain times in their lives. No one is without flaw/faults. Constant self-reinvention would be beneficial to all people, not just someone who has a chemical imbalance. I don't happen to have depressive issues ~ that doesn't mean I haven't had bumps and bruises throughout my life which manifested into habits, thought patterns, etc., that weren't beneficial for my future. So, I went to counseling to learn life-skills that were foreign to me. Best $$$$ I've ever spent ~ well, next to my anxiety meds.  JMO | |
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