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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!      Home login  
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 Zeonlyone
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 51
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Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
HI Princess...

I dont know why lol but reading this reminded me of a movie with John Wayne where the woman came to see him and just wanted something from him and he says "God to think I use to love you once).
 D+Rule
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 52
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/14/2007 7:51:46 PM
Well I do believe the wedding band belongs to him, and he can do what he wants with it, legally anyways. Telling the woman that's wearing it, that it was originally yours, should take care of her wearing it, and the problem of your ex having a girlfriend.
 christi66
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 53
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Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/14/2007 7:53:34 PM
pilot you said you didnt think your wife deserved the ring .. could be why she cheated on you because of HOW you treated her . If you thought she didnt deserve it people sense this kind of stuff , become and unhappy and do cheat SIGH ..
 SKA213
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 54
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:01:34 PM
hey Zeonlyone, i think you are thinking of Mclintock, with Maureen O'Hara as the Duke's wife.

Not sure, but i think they get back to together in that one.
 thaleana77
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 55
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:19:43 PM
why say anything and hurt the new GF, it is not her fault that the guy is tacky.......and cheap, and inconciderate...
jmo
 broken-and-torn87
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 56
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:28:18 PM
to the people saying not to tell her, i am only 19 years old, but if i were in the situation that someone asked me to marry them, and give me their ex's ring without my knowledge, i would WANT someone to tell me, i would not want to keep it a secret. if by any chance i met a friend of the ex's and they recognized it, i would not only feel outraged by his cheapness and tacktful ways, but it would be 20 times worse to hear it from someone you either "dont know or just met"... and feel so embarassed about it, and dont say you wouldnt somewhere deep down... or just feel so cheap and usless yourself, espically if you felt anything for him at all... and didnt want him just for "what he got and what he can do"....

Personally, i think she should be told, then if she feels like staying with the cheap bas*ard... then go ahead, but you could be doing her a favor in the long run if you tell her what hes like, wit the ring, before she gets too drawn in...

who knows? anything can happen... but i would do it nasty... lol... example::

walk into the house next time you pick up the kids... and take her hand and study the ring or w/e... and go, wow, i had one exactly like that that he gave me, actually, when we broke up, i misplaced mine... LOL... i'm sure she'll get the hint... (remember, your not doing it to be mean to her, your doing it to be mean to HIM)

*sorry for sounding like such a child, but in some sits. being a *&^% is fun* haha j/k
 **Rapunzel**
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 57
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:59:51 PM
It's hard to say what to do without knowing their personalities. He might have done it to be cheap. On the other hand, she might know.. it could be that she found it and just put it on. Many women "mark their territory" and if she is immature, that might have been her intent. Personally, I would want to say something to her and get my ring back.

The story reminds me of an ex BF of mine. Back in high school, he came over one night and asked me to go steady (or whatever) with him and he gave me a gold ring with the word "Love" on it. I found out later that he had just left his ex gf's house after taking the ring from her. Apparently, he was making sure he & I were a sure thing, before breaking it off with her. YEARS later, we got in contact again and tried getting back together..... he gave me another ring. The relationship was shorted lived because he turned out to be a real psycho and I gave the ring back. I later spoke with the GF he had right before me and she said he had come to her house with an assault rifle demanding she give him back the ring! Apparently, he took it to a jeweler and had it cleaned and boxed so it would look new when he gave it to me.
 ArmorPierce
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 58
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:42:14 PM
Okay can you people clear this up for me? Why is it considered so bad and tacky to reuse a ring? You do realize that money don't grow on trees and if he has one around why would it be bad to reuse it. Be reasonable, is it so bad that a ring that looks completely new was on another persons hand? Is it worth thousands of dollars? That's what's wrong with our consumer society, people not making rational decision on what to throw their money at and assigning sentimental value to inanimate objects and ideas (meaning that there is no actual difference except in your head!) that leads to financial trouble. Unless the guy is rich this should be a big concern.

Second part is depending on the state he may have legal right to keep the ring or to pawn it and split the money with you, depends on the state. I believe most states the ring would have gone to him. Why do you want it so bad and why be so spiteful? Did you buy it, do you intend to reuse it?
 KCLady
Joined: 5/17/2005
Msg: 59
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Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:41:45 AM
LOL I wouldn't want it back, but I would sure have a great laugh that he had the nerve to give it to the next GF ... No I don't think I would say anything. Why would I? It's in the past, I think I would leave it there. Not my problem anymore (thank G'd!)
 1Fish2Fish RedFishNewFish
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 60
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 10:35:13 AM
OP said "Wedding Band."
Not likely it has a big rock. Regardless, TACKY TACKY TACKY!
If it was a big rock, get the dang thing reset! Or sell it and buy another.

But, backing up, I think it was tacky and sleazy that he took it. My first divorce, I did ask for the engagement ring back because it had been my mom's, and her mom's before her. I think that is a little different. I returned it to my mom who gave it to my niece's then fiancé. (They are happily married with a child on the way, incidentally... )

I did not want rings back from my recent ex. I do not want the memories, and they were gifts.
So, to repeat myself OP, TACKY TACKY TACKY! (broken-and-torn87 - I'm with you) From OP's perspective, no, I wouldn't want it back. I might, however, say "My old ring looks nice on you" next time I saw her... then stand back and watch the sparks fly!


Re: Legal right to the ring, then I guess she would have a legal right to his?
Why is it tacky? Come on, you have to ask? How about "With this ring, I thee wed..."
Concerning money - From my perspective, I would rather give my new lady a plastic dime-store ring with a promise for something new and sparkly in a year that re-use a token, the societally accepted ultimate token of love for another...
 breadpudding
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 61
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Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:32:13 AM
Pin, Please don't fret. Get the facts first. Accordingly you'd already dismissed the ring as "lost". Also you didn't mention any emotional or economical impacts because you no longer had the ring. On that assumption, seems the ring no longer had your interest, until you "found” the ring on the new girlfriend’s finger.
One question I ask you: Are you sure he gave it to her and she didn't find it laying around and start wearing it? (You didn't mention they had wedding plans.) If he did give your ring to another woman, was a very insensitive thing for your ex to do. The person most insulted should be the girlfriend. Because to knowing accept a recycled piece of jewelry is honorable, but to give a recycled ring without full disclosure seems deceitful in this case. (Most likely, if the girlfriend knew the origin of the ring, she would not wear it.) My first line of advice would be to let go and say nothing. (That might be hard to do (smile) ) If IHAD to bring it up, I'd ask the ex what happened to the ring. If he claimed he didn't know, I'd let him where he could find it. That way he'd have the honor of telling the girlfriend about the ring. So whether he gave her the ring or she found it in the house and start wearing it, you'll all know in a non hostile way. Then do what's right for you.
See message 24.
 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 62
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:52:09 AM
Hmm. Sounds like he is REAL old fashioned. Originally the ring was the insignia of the Lord of the Manor and when he gave it to a woman and she accepted, she became his "property" so to speak. The coat of arms from the insignia would be placed in some fashion on all his property. Lesser lights did not have rings to formalize their relationships then.
Given the modern perspective, however, he technically stole your ring. Not worth fighting about, unless it is of significant value. Might be worth a comment while looking at the ring on the order of, "I knew he wanted to replace me, but I didn't know he wanted you to be me."
 76butterflies
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 63
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:58:21 AM
I kept my wedding ring when i got divorced. When i was ready to let it go, i sold it for $500 and threw a party for me and all my friends. But like i sad, whwen i was ready.

Getting divorced sucks. Yes i realize that some people would be happy to be rid of a person that they no longer love and created difficult living situations. But it wasn't always like that was it? I prefer to remember the good things about our marriage. Not harp on it and wish i was still married....no no. But i just don't think of my ex as a bad person, though ours was a mutual agreement that we'd grown up and apart b/c we married too young. So if you're lamenting the ring b/c you weren't ready to move on from that piece and still grieving the marriage, then yes....i understand.

However, if you're just ticked off b/c he took it without discussing it with you...................how did Whitney say it...."ah hell to the no!" He kept it or 'acquired' it obviously. And that's not right. That's your property, regardless of the circumstances. Cheap ass.

If it were me....i would prefer to handle it this way. Don't come right out and say it. Just elude to it. Wait until their standing side by side and notice it. "Well isn't that pretty....oh look at that.....this looks almost exaclty like the one i had."

Now just rememeber.......these few minutes of blissful vengance may come with a price. And you're kids might have to hear it or witness it. So, just be sure that whatever it is you do......do it with class and style. You're above him. Remember that.

Good luck to you sister!!!

 76butterflies
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 64
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:01:39 PM
Well I do believe the wedding band belongs to him, and he can do what he wants with it, legally anyways. Telling the woman that's wearing it, that it was originally yours, should take care of her wearing it, and the problem of your ex having a girlfriend


The wedding band belongs to him? Because he bought it? Because he gave it to her?
Legally? Yeah....i don't get that.
 truthisee
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 65
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:03:30 PM
Threads like this bother me...and whether you want to hear it or not, I'll tell you why.

The relationship is over. Period. The only reason you seek this course of action is spite, plain and simple, just admit it and get it out there, it's not like we cannot see the truth.

The ring is his, sucks I know, because I realize how so many place importance on material possessions. Get over it, It is also easy to see that you have not moved on....

It's a frikken ring, one that no doubt would have made it's way to a necklace, or worse, a pawnshop, or does it represent a beautiful time in your life?, one that you need to remember?...

The fact another is wearing it is really none of your damn business, but you seem to want to make it yours...you seem to think he needs your permission to move on...Grow up, simple, and realize it's over, instead of trying to spread your misery....

But it would be fun wouldn't it?, to take something away from him, to prove your level of immaturity...I would laugh if she looked at you and said..."So?, it's mine now", cause then and only then, would you realize that beyond the capacity of his children's mother, you no longer hold sway over his life...

Grow the f*ck up, get counseling to help you get over this childish behavior...

*slurps coffee*
 Master irisheagle
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 66
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Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:23:49 PM

Next time your around you could be catty and say " Oh I thought I lost that wedding ring" and leave it at that... I am sure the new gf would love to know it wasn't hers first.

Awe, this is just how i think it should be handled...

Personally i wouldn't care, but then too, i dont
offer the NEXT in line the ring from/for someone
else it was bought for. I Bought one for my ex-fiance of 2-1/2 years
and still it waits for her after 8 months and always will, IF she ever wanted it.
But that's not likely and should i meet someone that i want to
marry other then her, i will buy a new one. To me the synbolism
behind a ring for a woman is very distinct and singular. i Hold a certian
amount of Love and devotion with the ring i give someone for such
a relationship and find it to be of a lower calibar to re-use one for someone
else. Just my opinoin though.


my 2pence
 nomenome
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 67
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:13:10 PM
Well Princess, I think it would depend a bit on how serious he is about the new girlfriend. The prblm is, there are children involved. If you feel you absolutely positvly have to make sure she knows she's got your old ring, then you need to be gentle - after all - SHE'S not the one that was married to you - he's the one your emotions should be felt towards, if you are feeling anything about it at all. Maybe the next time you see her, just GENTLY (not flipantly or spitefully) tell her that the ring looks much better on her (say it like you honestly mean it). She will figure the rest out for herself. Don't have your ex in the room when you do it though - this doesn't need an asshat for an audience. Or, you could just have a little grace, realize it's not HER fault, and let the matter alone. The only time I'd speak to the ex about it, is if you had intended to give the ring to one of the children, and you feel strongly about it. Good luck with your decision.
 yrknightawaitsu
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 68
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:14:25 PM
In my personal opinion, it takes a rare and special person to give your broken marriage tokens to another fiance. Special "ED" that is.
 This is Now
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 69
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:22:03 PM
I threw my wedding band down the sewer grate the day I told him I was walking out the door. It was a symbol of what our marriage had become.

Let her keep it.
 trident039
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 70
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:44:17 PM
Let me get this right,

You're concerned about a "MATERIAL" possesion that was "ONCE" a symbol of the
love and devotion you both shared with each other when you were married to him?

AND!!! You want the ring back?
Why should that even matter to you now?

MATERIALISM!!

Can't stand it!

V!!
 76butterflies
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 71
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:47:26 PM
Special Ed. That's funny. Egmegalith made me giggle.

It's a shit deal all the way around. I don't think you're immature. It would irk me too. Not because i want him back. Not because i'm not over him. Just because that was mine and he took it.

And if her going to tell the girl that it was hers makes Princess spiteful, i would have to say no more than him for giving to another woman. And don't gimme that crap about "rise above" or "turn the other cheek." In reality we're all human. If you've never done something to be spiteful then bravo to you. Perhaps you should figure out how to fix the rest of the world rather than looking down at us from that high pedastal you've built yourself.

In the end, be true to yourself Princess. Good luck Mama!

 ~curlygirl~
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 72
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:49:16 PM
what would be the point of having the wedding ring back? it's a reminder of your ex, a symbol of your marriage and subsequent divorce. if it were me, it would represent an unhappy mimento and i'd rather be without it. as for telling your ex-hubby's gf that the ring she's wearing used to be yours, what would be the point? unless it's your intention to cause strife between your ex and his new girl out of some sense of spite or retribution (keep in mind, any strife you cause will also be exposed to your children by association). if i were you, i'd just let it go.
 nemchucks
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 73
Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/17/2007 4:21:22 PM
Roflmao.You could save that one up for a rainy day.
 KTDID78
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 74
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Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend!
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:21:17 PM
Well my ex was too cheap to buy our rings, I did it myself without any help from him. Which would be even more reason to be ticked off if she had mine on. Something I thought would be interesting though, was if your ring had a personal inscription inside it. I wonder how he tried to pass that off as for her...

Personal note, I'd be furious. I would definately stir up trouble, but that's just how I am.
 gogobearto
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 75
Welcome to the world....
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:31:27 PM

What does it have to do with her... she likely doesnt know... and telling her is just spitefull and hurtful.. I think some of the advice here is bad and just plain wrong. many spiteful and vengeful suggestions. THINK before you act.


...of a woman scorned.
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