| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:43:46 AM | | I have 2 roommates that smoke like a chimney, now what happens when I quit(am going on Chantrix) and unfortunately the smell will still be permeated around me..Is that going to dissuade anyone from asking me out?????? | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!! = Bad idea.
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:08:36 AM |
Smoking is no more sanitary than those other personal habits. If you stoop to dating a smoker this suggests that you may have a problem of low self-esteem. Don't do it. Dating smokers only encourages the smoker and lowers yourself to their level.
So now we a lower level of life are we? Yes its a dirty habit , we all have dirty habits for most ppl they are kept secret. Some ppl give themselves liver cancer by drowning their internal organs with liquore, some are gluttons and feed there faces with french fries and fried greece until they cause themselves a heart attack. Some ppl are addicted to sex and can never get enough without escalating their level of perversion over and over and over again. We all have addictions your no greater then anyone with your holier then thou attitude. The issue is a smokers addiction can affect other ppl around them. This is the only difference as other addictions are also disgusting and bad for your health. So that is the question we should be talking about, not that smoking is a dirty habit everyone knows that. To continue to repeat that over and over. Thinking you are creating any type of productive arguement is redundant and idiotic.
So can a smokers habit not effect others and only themselves? I say it can on a physical health type of level. In order for this to happen the smoker must be considerate of non smokers, there are more things involved with this then just smoking outside.As far as ppl who have a huge problem with the kissing smell etc.. those are ppl who are not tolerant to smokers which is a non issue because those type of ppl would never kiss a smoker in the first place.
What about all the people who dont think like that and dont smoke. In actuality they are the majority of non smokers. It doesnt seem like that by reading this thread, but those type of ppl are not interested in your holy crusade against smokers and guess what, when they see the title of the thread they dont click on it. They are not concerned with it and its not a big enough deal for them to talk about it. The avid non smoker who cant stand having smokers around is the minority. You can see this by the fact that if a bar allows smoking the revenues actually go up not down. There are not enough smokers to account for that alone. If all the non smokers hated to be around it as much as alot of the ppl in this thread they would go down.
Ive had several LTR with non smokers im dating a non smoker right now, IT IS A NON ISSUE. I dont smoke more then a half a pack a day and I'm a considerate smoker. The girl im dating loves my kisses and cant get enough of them. If she found it disgusting her behavour would not be like that.
The truth is their is a very vocal minority, on some type of self rightous crusade harranging a group of ppl for their addiction. I suspect you have skelletons in your closets because often ppl who are so gung ho about pointing fingers at others are externalizing something.
Where are all the threads about not dating alcholics? I mean what? thats cool , let me propose something go date and alcoholic then go date a smoker and tell me which one causes you the most problems. An alcoholic on this site clicks on drinks often, I click on smoke often. I bet I get more shit for it then them.
The trend this nation is taking against smokers recently is getting to feverish proportions its only a matter of time before someone picks up the flag and some type of counter legislations are put in place.
So what do you guys do on the weekends , picket abortion clinics?
If you dont want to date smokers fine begone with you we dont want to hear it anymore. There are plenty of smokers and non smokers who see it for what it is an addiction and a flaw like we all have, and have no problems dating us. When I quit smoking, I wouldnt want to be in a relationship with such a judgemental person anyway im sure it would crop up in a million different ways.
You cant enforce you will and beleifes over someone else.
stop trying to. It makes you look small minded and little. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:17:23 AM | | I smoke, and I dated a gal that disliked smoking. I was polite and smoked less, a lot less, when we were together. But in the end, it was a factor on why we stopped seeing each other. We have however, remained pretty good friends, and we talk with each other about the problems associated with dating. In this case, she had contacted me...and it clearly said in my profile that I smoked...yet she still got ahold of me. I think that if smoking bothers a person, maybe they shouldn't even bother to contact them at all. Or if there IS a connection, then the smoker should be willing to quit for the sake of that relationship. | |
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txdeb
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Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 229 | |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/15/2007 11:31:48 AM | | I'm a smoker and have been for many years, however they stink ,they make your hair and clothes stink and I have tried MANY things to quit, the patch ,gum, hypnosiss, acupuncture. But the new Chantix Works, and belive me if it works on me it will work on anyone. Not only will it open doors to meeting new people who don't smoke but hey unless you are rich who can aford them any more,they are fixing to go up another ten dollars a carton. I certainly don't blame non smokers for not wanting to smell them. I like to smell good, so I'm quiting so I'm not spending alot of money on perfume,then ruining it with a cigarette...... | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/15/2007 1:09:35 PM | Very Strange. Your info says that you smoke on occasion but are looking for a non-smoker.
Hello ~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/15/2007 2:43:54 PM | I have recently quit smoking (personal reasons, not for a dude LOL) but some of my single girl friends would hide their smoking whenever they'd date a guy who didn't smoke. I NEVER understood this... Nor did I ever hide the fact that I smoked around guys I was seeing.
There was some kind of excuse given to me about how they didn't want to lose the guys interests because of a habit they were 'planning on kicking' anyway..
Bahhh lol.. maybe I'm just a punk, but I was like.. "no.. if he likes you, he won't take off because of a bad habit. And if he does.. he wasn't really that into you." | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!! = Bad idea.
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:17:50 PM | There are plenty of smokers and non smokers who see it for what it is an addiction and a flaw like we all have, and have no problems dating us
nomadd77,
you're 30 years old, by the time you started smoking the addictive properties of nicotine were well-known. You chose to smoke anyway, why is that?
I don't date smokers, drug addicts, or alcoholics. I have cut back on time spent in smoking establishments, like sports bars. Do you have a problem with that? Does that make me some sort of lunatic? | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!! = Bad idea.
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:40:10 PM | ^^^
To be clear, I am not replying to everything said after my post - did not endeavor to opening a can of worms, then chasing them all around, picking up after them - this is my response to msg:223
My friend - I'll elucidate.
First I must contest that tobacco's not a mind altering substance - It makes smokers "feel good" (when depression is right around the corner), tricks them into thinking they're warm (when in fact, it chills their body), tricks them into thinking they're calm and relaxed (when in fact, it ADDS stress, accelerates heartbeat, and makes one more nervous, worrisome), and to drive my point home, it even modifies minds into craving it... really, really, REALLY badly (take someone's smokes away for a week, two weeks straight- two DAYS for some - and see what happens). - Now if THAT'S not considered a mind altering "drug"/substance/whatever, then I don't know what is.
Besides that, most things are subjective, so "drug" or not, one can essentially use ANYTHING as a distancing tool, provided they know that it gets under their partner's skin. The thing about smokers is that it's easy (and frankly, pathetic) - non-smokers do not particularly like nor want to be around smoke - that's why they don't smoke. This ability to stick it to your lover with the flick of a lighter is just too alluring. Some smokers even think they "punish" their S.O. (when spitefully smoking - in front of the other or otherwise - because their mate rubbed them the wrong way) at the cost of both their health! It's asinine.
It's one thing to "take 5 minutes away" from one another, but to smoke oneself sick INSTEAD of talking out/dealing with (relationship or not) issues (pressing or not) is another - something not healthy in the least. It's not a question about "taking time away" from one another -that's fine, but when that "5 minutes" turns 10, 15, 30 - then hours of chain smoking, every single day, it gets clear that cigarettes have an equal hold on peoples lives as drugs/alcohol.
I can't resist -
Smokers who ONLY date non-smokers? This proves my point brilliantly!
Now think about it - WHY on Earth would a SMOKER restrict dating to NON-smokers?
There is NO reasonable or congruent rationale for that - to discriminate against fellow smokers and say that it's because non-smokers discriminate against THEM? That's batty mentality.
The answer - Control issues - The "ability" to practice everything I've inscribed in my first post.
To leave less room for misunderstanding, I am not saying that smokers are all unreasonable - if one respects and cares for their companion enough - they'll see the big picture, and ultimately choose love over the "love" they have for a nasty addiction - be it smoking, drinking, porn, whatever - though don't get me wrong - I still stand by my afore-posted closing statement - see, the former is more the exception (divorce rates clearly show how often love wins out over selfish behavior) whilst the latter (see post 222) is a good general rule of thumb.
Thank you.
- Your excogitator | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!! = Bad idea.
Posted: 8/15/2007 8:15:05 PM | Other than whats already been said about health concerns and the smell I think smoking shows a general(perhaps small) lack of self control.
Most smoker's I've ever met are also lazy especially older ones that have been doing it for years(they just don't have the energy). | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!! = Bad idea.
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:10:37 PM | lazy?????...I know lots of smokers that are very athletic....me, not lazy sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...
ya know there are lots of threads about smoking, dont understand why this one kept on going!!!!!!! | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!! = Bad idea.
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:16:59 PM |
Most smoker's I've ever met are also lazy especially older ones that have been doing it for years(they just don't have the energy).
wow!
wow, wow, wow. LOL
and the  begins | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 4:05:04 AM |
Most smoker's I've ever met are also lazy especially older ones that have been doing it for years(they just don't have the energy)
What a bunch of malarky! I am calling BS on that one. I have smoked for years and have more energy then most people half my age who are non-smokers, in better shape then the majority of them as well. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:11:27 AM | | OP and the one that said we are lazy..maybe you all should read this thread "so many smokers... meaning so few choices" and a few others and see where all this leads...in other words these threads get very heated and already have been done to death!!!!! | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:59:12 AM | | I might actually prefer women who smoke to those who don't. Call me crazy, but I usually find them to be more down to earth or less spoiled or something?? anyone agree with this? | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:11:56 AM | I'm a non-smoker but the vast majority of the women that I've met and dated were smokers. I don't like it and I prefer that they quit but as long as they keep it out of my face (since I have asthma) and aren't chain smokers, I've been able to deal with it on the most part. The ones that I really dislike, though, are those who light up another cigerette as soon as they put one out. I dated a woman like that for a little while but I couldn't get a kiss in edgewise. Unbelieveably, she's quit smoking since then.
Ed | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:16:03 AM | One night during the mid-winter in Michigan, my wife at the time and I were leaving Super K-mart when she just had to have a smoke. So, here we are, driving home in the middle of winter with the window down when we only lived five minutes from Superk. I got so mad because she had to freeze us out even more by not waiting five minutes to get home from the store before she had to smoke.
Ed | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:27:50 AM | I have a hard fast rule that I just don't date smokers. My family smoked and I really don' t like the smell, the taste or the cost. I m thankful I never started. I have had guys get upset and tell me not to be judgemental. It is not judging it is a lifestyle choice. Mine is to do without smokers
T | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:28:11 AM | Lack of self control? It's an addictive substance..... their ability to not smoke doesn't correlate to a general lack of self control in life.
The choice to start smoking doesn't usually even reflect on the person much-- most people I know that smoke started smoking when they were in middle school or early high school. Come on now, think back-- how would you look if you were made accountable for some of those early decisions?
I believe that they should try to quit... but I'm certainly not going to call them weak for not succeeding. Life changes are hard... especially when you've been doing something since your early teens. Add in the factor that it's an addictive substance, and you've got an extra tough chain to break. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:38:56 AM | Hi Lady 70
well I can go into my tirade of why you shouldn't be smoking but its your lungs and your health.. so I won't say anything.. just like I didn't say anything to my father.. and he now suffers from Lung Fibrosis and emphazima.. yup.. I didn't say a word to him.. although when the docs told him that I was severerly allergic to nicotin and he needed to stop smoking in the house.. and If he did I would stop visiting the hospital with constant asthma attacks, nasal infections and upper respritory issues... my dad was nice enough to take his cigarette smoking outside for my health benefits..
unfortunately there are people out there who wont date smokers.. i'm one of those.. but thats because I really can't afford constant trips to the ER so.. I stay as far away from smokers as possible.. but to each their own..just find someone who smokes and you'll be as happy as ever. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 4:18:17 PM | .Marc says:
I believe that they should try to quit... but I'm certainly not going to call them weak for not succeeding.
Why not call them weak? Do you think it takes strength to continue to be hooked on a habit which you know is destroying you as well as alienating many people around you?
We may all look on addicts of all kinds with a good deal of compassion. We all know it is hard to get clean from many addictions including this one. But in the case of cigarettes you don't have to look very far for help. Every pharmacist can offer you lots of medical remedies. You can easily find help services in your own neighborhood such as hypnotists. I think the best of all resources is probably the twelve step program, Nicotine Anonymous, usually listed in the White Pages.
The first step is to admit that you have a problem. Every smoker does have a serious problem, so why not just tell the truth and admit it.
But this thread is about dating smokers or refraining from dating smokers. Well, whether or not you smoke you may as well face the fact that if you date a smoker you are dating a person with a problem. You can easily be excused for saying "No thanks" to this option.
To knowingly relate to a person with such a problem, as if it is really all right with you if they continue to be stuck with their problem, does them no good and does you no good. This is "enabling." The matter of "enabling" is well understood in Alcoholics Anonymous. You are not doing the smoker any favor by acting as if it doesn't matter. To protect yourself, you will do better to give the smoker a pass and move on. Plenty of other people are out there. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 4:38:48 PM | I would and have dated smokers in the past.
Though they do have to alter their behaviour a little with me. Since I'm very athsmatic. I can't stand to be in a smoke filled house, they can not smoke in mine or that much in my car and I can't sleep on anything with that nice smokey smell clinging to it. SO its pretty much a hassle but if they want me to hang out with them its pretty much a no choice thing, not because I'm a **** about it. But because there is a chance I could die from an athsma attack from it. So there is a lot of hassel that has to be considered in the whole smoker-nonsmoker thing with me. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!! = Bad idea.
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:53:07 PM | So now we a lower level of life are we? Yes its a dirty habit , we all have dirty habits for most ppl they are kept secret. Some ppl give themselves liver cancer by drowning their internal organs with liquore, some are gluttons and feed there faces with french fries and fried greece until they cause themselves a heart attack. Some ppl are addicted to sex and can never get enough without escalating their level of perversion over and over and over again.
No you are not a lower level of life, but you are an addict. And some of us don't do any of the things you mentioned above -- it's called being healthy.
So can a smokers habit not effect others and only themselves? I say it can on a physical health type of level. In order for this to happen the smoker must be considerate of non smokers, there are more things involved with this then just smoking outside.As far as ppl who have a huge problem with the kissing smell etc.. those are ppl who are not tolerant to smokers which is a non issue because those type of ppl would never kiss a smoker in the first place.
Oh dear, you aren't even coming close to thinking about the big picture. Kissing an ashtray? Not even on the top 10 list of why not to date a smoker. I'm not David Letterman, but I will give you the top 2:
2) Getting a disease from second hand smoke (if you live together, it's going to affect the non-smoker no matter how careful you are).
1) Taking care of the person you love the most in the world through lung cancer, cardiovascular disease, emphysema or COPD and then having to grieve their death after you can't save them.
The avid non smoker who cant stand having smokers around is the minority.
Where have you been? I'm originally from New York. You don't live that far from the City, so you must have noticed that you that you can't smoke there anymore.
Since you lived in California before that, it couldn't have possibly escaped you that you couldn't smoke in the ENTIRE STATE.
Think it might have something to do with people who can't stand having smokers around them? A minority? Wouldn't be a law if it was a minority?
You can see this by the fact that if a bar allows smoking the revenues actually go up not down.
Only for the first two months, if that. California does quite nicely with a smoking ban, so does NYC. Studies have shown that in the long run restaurants and bars don't lose revenue.
Makes sense. Only 25 percent of people in this country smoke. This means 75 percent DON'T smoke. If they don't have to stink like an ashtray, they're much more likely to go out to bars and enjoy themselves.
Not rocket science. Cater to 75 percent of the population or 25 percent? It's a no brainer.
Ive had several LTR with non smokers im dating a non smoker right now, IT IS A NON ISSUE. I dont smoke more then a half a pack a day and I'm a considerate smoker. The girl im dating loves my kisses and cant get enough of them. If she found it disgusting her behavour would not be like that.
Tell your girlfriend to drop me a line when you get sick. I'll help direct her to the best hospitals for your treatment.
Where are all the threads about not dating alcholics? I mean what? thats cool , let me propose something go date and alcoholic then go date a smoker and tell me which one causes you the most problems. An alcoholic on this site clicks on drinks often, I click on smoke often. I bet I get more shit for it then them.
Personally, I wouldn't date either, and my boyfriend doesn't drink at all.
But given a choice? I'd date the alcoholic hands down. At least his second hand alcohol has no potential to give me a fatal disease. And since I'd wind up taking care of either of you through your slow and painful death, I need to maintain my health.  So what do you guys do on the weekends , picket abortion clinics?
Nope, I'm pro-choice.
When I quit smoking, I wouldnt want to be in a relationship with such a judgemental person anyway im sure it would crop up in a million different ways.
How is what I said above judgmental?
You cant enforce you will and beleifes over someone else.
Not even remotely trying to. That doesn't mean I want to date a smoker, for the reasons stated above.
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:04:40 PM | And here it goes again.........people trying to change people after they get together...........it amazes me.........
IF YOU MET ME SMOKING AND LIKED ME............WHATS YOUR PROBLEM NOW?
If you didn't have hair on your head when I met you..........should I expect it to grow later? | |
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Kvass
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 250 | |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 8:07:48 PM | Can't stand smoke, burns my eyes. I wish smokers would be more considerate of those of us who do not want to be exposed to it in close proximity. I will tolerate it, if it is a person I like and have not been made aware of how bad their habit really is. | |
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