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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:35:26 PM |
those who are thinking about quiting, you might want to see your Dr. and get a prescription for Chantix. I've been on it for a week and a half now and it's the only thing I've ever tried that actually works. I'm having no withdrawal symptoms at all...only the habit part of reaching for one which isn't that big of a deal.
trs1958 - I am intrested in this "Chantix" that you are speaking about! And congradulations on taking the plunge to quit
 What is it exactly and how does it work??? | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:37:07 PM | Well naturally no one should try to change anyone, or expect someone to voluntarily change out of the blue...
I can't stand cigarette smoke, so naturally I can't be around it for long periods of exposure as it leaves me sniffling, sneezing and nauseated for a full day afterwards (I can remember all those sick days after going out clubbing back in Montreal before the No-Smoking ban kicked in).
My best friend is a chain smoker, but I love him to death so I stick my head out the car window like a dog when it's his turn to drive us around 
However for women I date, I'd casually date/fool around with a smoker, but she'd have no long-term potential in my eyes as I've seen the undeniable proof of what a lifetime of smoking can do to someone's health and appearance, and aging poorly is already a high enough risk without adding self-inflicted vices into the mix! 
As for those that claim they CAN'T quit, that's fine so long as you don't whine about being powerless, unless you're willing to publicly admit that a single cylindrical inanimate object infused with chemicals has more power than your entire brain!   <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
Will Power and Common Sense people, I know they're rare but they're not quite dead in this world yet!  | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:45:50 PM | .If it was an issue why even start to date.....you should never change just for another person. Maybe you gave him the incentive for him to quit, but what if he fails. Will you drop him then? It took me 4 times to quit finally & I have never cheated once. I don’t know if I would date a smoker now, thou.
I am not against people who smoke, or avoid my friends who still smoke.  | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:58:26 PM | OP...I have actually been in a similar situation as you. I have tried to quit a couple of times, just for myself. I actually did quit for 2 1/2 years and then started again.
But, there was one really great guy who was very much against smoking. We began dating and he said because I didn't smoke that much, that it wasn't a problem. Of course, once I started to get attached to him, about 6 months later, he said, he figured I would quit for him and when I didn't quit, he quit the relationship.
The truth was, I was cutting down my smoking drastically, because when we were together I wouldn't smoke. So being with a non-smoker, actually helped me cut back quite a lot. I am still working on it, but it is not something I can do cold turkey.
I can certainly understand how non-smokers feel about dating smokers and respect their right not to do so. I hope this thread does start becoming another thread to beat smokers over the head, as most of them do.
I think this guy of yours knows what he wants and a partner that smokes, is not it. Save yourself some grief and tell him you will give him a call when you've quit smoking. | |
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pbmac3
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:02:41 PM | White Gardenia said:
Do you all want me to drink and smoke and take drugs.... Is this the kind of live you want me to live... To have a husband who beets me and to be homeless on the streets and to be sick all the time
I did not realize that smoking was responible for drugs abuse, spousal abuse and being homeless.
Also, teaching your child that a smoker is a "bad person" , ie not a good role model, is akin to pointing out obese people and telling her they can't be good role models due to their unhealthy choices.
great parenting technique..... | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:05:14 PM | | For me personally, the smell of smoking on a Lady's breath is alluring. But I like the smell of gasoline too..................and Channel #5 in the morning................ | |
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D+Rule
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Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 32 | |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:19:05 PM |
Do you not know that smoking will kill you
Sorry to single this person out and go off topic a bit, but I really really hate it when people say this. What the HELLL! Yes I’m pretty sure we all know it will kill us. We’re definitely not smoking because it makes us feel good. Non-smokers (as in someone who has never smoked) will never ever in a million years understand what it’s like to be a smoker, so don’t sit up on your high and mighty horse and look down through your noses at the people that smoke. You have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the addiction. All you know is what you’ve read, reading is not living the torture of realizing a stupid drug has just over powered your mind and you are not in control when it comes to those damn cigarettes.
I will never ever listen to anything a real non-smoker has to say about smoking, their being arrogant because of their ignorance.
As for those that claim they CAN'T quit, that's fine so long as you don't whine about being powerless, unless you're willing to publicly admit that a single cylindrical inanimate object infused with chemicals has more power than your entire brain!
I’m thinking this person has never had to deal with any kind of addiction. If you had, you would know that chemicals can change your thought processes, your entire brain is telling you that you need it, your brain causes physical pain in your body if you do not get it, you brain will not think about anything else until it gets what it wants, which is those chemicals. withdrawl symptoms vary from person to person
I have tried over ten times to quit smoking since I started, once successfully for a year and a half, then I started up again, that’s how strong of an addiction it is. My friends dad hasn’t smoked in 40 years, he still gets cravings although there fairly weak unless he’s drinking then there just as strong as the day he quit. That is how I started up again, out with the buds having a few drinks and boom! All of a sudden just as if it was habit there’s a smoke in my mouth without even thinking about it.
If you have quit smoking, good for you and I’d love to hear how you did it, ever little bit of information helps. If you’ve never smoked and you’re trying to tell us smokers how stupid we are, STFU! We don’t need to hear it because we hear it all day every day in our own head, we hear it when we cough in the morning, we hear it when we are winded at the top of a flight of stairs. If you want to help go out and be positive.
As for people not wanting to date a smoker, hey that’s totally understandable, to each their own. As for those that think someone’s a liar because they quit smoking just to go out with you, you are callous because that person gave something up that was extremely difficult to do, just for the chance at you, grow up.
Thanks for the public service announcement, but you’re about 10 years to late to be telling anybody anything new. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:32:34 PM | D+Rule said:
I’m thinking this person has never had to deal with any kind of addiction. If you had, you would know that chemicals can change your thought processes [...] withdrawl symptoms vary from person to person
[...]
If you have quit smoking, good for you and I’d love to hear how you did it, ever little bit of information helps. If you’ve never smoked and you’re trying to tell us smokers how stupid we are, STFU!
[...]
If you want to help go out and be positive.
D+Rule if you read my post fully you must have read the opening line where I said "to each their own choices in life", and you must have read my closing line "if you make your own bed, fine but don't whine about it". That is a far cry from me sitting atop a high horse and looking down on you with contempt. I tried smoking a few times in my teens, though thankfully being born borderline-asthmatic with allergies pretty much nixed that vice before it could ever get started.
Yes I did have an addiction - sugar in all of its delectably-fattening forms, I was a kid that would sit down and eat a bucket of Halloween candy in ONE sitting, a 4-pack of Caramilk candy bars lasted two hours at best during my teens when I ate out of depression. I would walk down the halls of a grocery store and literally feel my blood boil when I walked down the candy aisle trying to resist the urge to buy a load of more junk. Needless to say those sorts of eating habits and a non-existent exercise regimen (unless tapping my thumbs on a SNES counts) and I was a chubby teen (15-18) in desperate need of a change.
Want to know what I woke up and did one day to kick the habit? I got ANGRY, VERY ANGRY, but not at the world, not at the candy-manufacturers for selling such seductive wares (like some people do), I got angry at the person that deserved it the most: MYSELF :angry:
For 16 months I put myself on a grueling and painful starvation diet combined with exercise, where I denied myself everything I loved as I told myself I was a worthless piece of crap for letting myself get to this point in the first place. There were days I had no energy, days I passed out face down in class from exhaustion, but I didn't let it deter me or stem the anger, as that was the only motivation I could find that personally worked for me.
After that time I had achieved the first step of my goal, but it was hard going to say the least. It's been 9 years since then and I now train out of love for myself rather than hate, but I remain eternally vigilant of my sweet tooth addiction as a slice of savory cheesecake or chocolate still makes me tingle from head to toe.
The only difference is now that I've discovered the Will-Power within me, I'd sooner DIE than allow myself to become lost again 
So yes I do know a little something about addiction (I won't even get into my sexual obsessions... ) | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:38:50 PM | | I once saw a saying that goes: if you're smoking, you better be on fire. I have the same problem as message three here and do NOT feel dating a smoker is a risk I can take. I was lied to about the quitting part by the last bf and while it was not the one reason for the break up, it contributed to that happening. I felt misled on that issue with him. I can only say that Op this issue WILL likely come between the two of you later on. Message 31: The smell of gasoline? Are you serious? That's equally gross. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:39:46 PM | Having never smoked cigarettes I have always found the corelation and habits of smokers to be almost the same as heroin junkies....
The way they huddle together to 'fix'
The brotherly bond and willingness to 'share' or lend the apparatus needed to 'fix'
The endless excusses of how they know it is self destructive but they 'like it'
The Rational of not 'quiting' for someone else
The need for medical intervention to succesfully stop
Addicitve substance substitutions to try and quit
The addictive nature of 'thier monkey' and if they can actually get the 'monkey' off thier back it just sits in the corner waiting for your moment of weekness so it can jump back on and be your friend again
I have also heard that Nicotine is MORE addictive than heroin
So I would no sooner date a junkie than a smoker for most of the reasons mentioned here and the ones I have added | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:45:55 PM | I just read another forum about Dramaqueens... I'd say the quote below should be posted in that thread.
White Gardenia said:
"Do you all want me to drink and smoke and take drugs.... Is this the kind of live you want me to live... To have a husband who beets me and to be homeless on the streets and to be sick all the time"
(I'd like to see the stats on how many smokers ended up like that for lighting one up.)
Back on topic: Op your profile says you don't smoke? Have you quit since you posted?
In any event, Quit cause You want to, not because someone else wants you to. We all have preferences and if he won't date a smoker, then so be it. I myself just started smoking again recently, after quiting for 6 years. It's an addiction and once a smoker.. don't ever fool yourself into thinking you can have Just One after you've quit, cause ya can't.
~Wishes ~ | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:49:07 PM | | Even though I am a non-smoker I would never ask someone to quit or I will stop seeing them. That being said, the first thing I check is if they are a smoker or non smoker. I guess its a choice also. I am a BBW and know that some men prefer the skinny gals, am I going to lose weight just to date one particular individual no. If you quit smoking it should be because you want to not to save a relationship. | |
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D+Rule
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Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 38 | |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:56:43 PM | Yes I did have an addiction - sugar in all of its delectably-fattening forms
While I don’t mean to say what you did wasn’t an amazing show of will power and determination, take that addiction to sugar and multiply it by 100. I have overcome many addictions in my short life. I grew up with the mindset that I would try anything once because I wanted to experience all of life, the good and what people said was bad.
In the last 10 years I have overcome;
Cocaine <- oddly enough one of the easiest habits to break
LSD
Ex
Fatty Foods
Sugar <- well maybe I should give the credit for that one to my parents
Coke-a-cola, and
Diet Coke
Can you say, “susceptible to addiction”?
Cocaine is pretty addictive drug, and yet it’s nowhere near as addictive as nicotine. You quit the sugar, it’s been 7 years. Even if I quit today, I will have the cravings up until the day I die, that is how I’m trying to do it now. I’m trying to get through my head and accept the fact that I will always have physical pain due to withdrawal from nicotine and I will always have cravings for cigarettes. (I know it gets better, but it is with you for life.)
I was just upset because you implied, in my opinion, that smokers don’t have common sense or will power and not just you, but a few of the non smokers did the same.
See right here
Will Power and Common Sense people, I know they're rare but they're not quite dead in this world yet!
That and it drives my freaking nuts when someone tries to give advice on something they don’t know. You know addiction I’m not disputing that, but you don’t know what it’s like to be addicted to the most addictive substance out there. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:14:27 PM | Quicksilver:
Chantix is a fairly new pill (been out a couple of years now I think). It affects the sensory part of the brain that gets pleasure out of nicotine. You keep smoking as normal for at least a week after you start taking it and let the drug build up gradually in your system before you actually quit.
I've never been too keen on the drug companies and their multi billion dollar profits...but I have to hand it to Pfizer...this stuff really works. It cost me $99 for a month's supply here at my local pharmacy.
You do have to want to quit or I'm sure even the Chantix won't work. But without having the withdrawal symptoms it looks like it's gonna be a breeze to do. I even went as far as putting a handful of pretzel sticks in a cigarette pack and carry that to work with me...for the habit part of reaching for one. Now I pull out a pretzel stick instead of a cigarette.
Edited to correct spelling.
and to add:
You can read up on it at Chantix dot com | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:14:28 PM | Yes I did say Will-Power and Common Sense are all but dead in this world, but you will notice that sentence never directly says which groups have it and which groups don't. Naturally the overall tone of my post implies it, but the statement I made applies not only to smokers, but to anyone of any walk of life that believes some aspect of their life is beyond their control... I rag on every one equally...
The rest of your last post is fair enough, though given your numerous past addictions perhaps you'd like to take my personal forcible withdrawal training seminar where you pay me $500 and I tie you down to a bed for a month straight denying you any vice you're currently addicted to? Don't worry you'll be fed generously through a tube and be allowed a brief reprieve for calisthenics...
Anyways take care and best of luck in your struggle, like I said, there are plenty of people out there willing to date smokers so don't stress over my rantings! | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:18:57 PM | objecting to you smoking is a form of mind control,next he ll be telling you that you drink to much,or your hair isnt quite...`so`.
this is your one chance to get shot of him,he`s given you an exit strategy,take it
thanks
john | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:34:40 PM | | i dont date non smokers if at all possible (well back when I DID smoke)... i think its rude to smoke around someone who doesnt smoke... and worse... what am i suppose to do with myself after great sex? *lol* | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:35:17 PM | Well, had to add my two cents here for the hell of it, even though enough has probably already been said.
I am a smoker, and have experienced what it is like to not be dated because of this habit. I am also a recovering alcoholic and methamphetamine addict, and don't date people who drink a lot or use drugs. My point is that if I won't date a heavy drinker or a drug user, then a non-smoker has every right to not choose to date me.
Other than for overwhelming medical reasons, I do see a trend of complete intolerance towards smokers that hinges on fanatical. The truth of American smoking habits still remains hidden from the public and that bothers me more than anything.
Many years ago, a decade long study was done between the smokers of Great Britain and America. Despite the fact that Great Britain had more smokers per capita than America, the incidence of lung cancer was much lower. It was discovered that the pesticides, herbacides and fungacides that were sprayed on American tobacco crops of the time were directly responsible for the much higher levels of lung cancer in America vs. those of Great Britain. Times have changed of course, and these chemicals are sprayed on virtualy every tobacco crop globally, but it is interesting to note that smoking organic tobacco reduces these health issues. Why is this not being addressed with the public? Is it just not easier to use the smokers as tax base? Why aren't the chemical companies being subjected to any kind of scrutiny? Smoking has been a part of cultures around the globe.....but the chemicals are a recent development..........
Just a thought anyways............
'Seph | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:58:22 PM | 1.the WHO commissioned a report into the effects of passive smoking and found there was not one proven case of death due to passive smoking.
2.governments have been advised that the best way to discourage smoking is to foster the belief `among smokers` that their actions are harming others,otherwise how could purely self harming acts be criminalised.
3.adolf hitler was the first man to propose a smoking ban
thanks
john | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:11:05 PM | | quiting smoking is easier said than done, i know. that is 1 reason my honey and i broke up after 5 months. we got along good also | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:21:20 PM | | I smoke. I quit for a while in high school because I found that my girlfriend at the time was bumming so many smokes off of me that I ended up supporting her habit. So, I quit altogether. I still dated her, but DAMN, she tasted like an ashtray. I feel your pain girls, it's gross. But, when we broke up, I started smoking again. :) | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:32:36 PM |
I understand that I really do but I simply cant grasp that we totally connect on evry level and he simply put it that he doesnt care how beautiful a lady is he would never date her.
Here's the thing OP------from what I call a militant anti-smoker. More accurately, from one who'll NEVER again even meet a woman who smokes..................
Regardless what mint or mouthwash you try disguising that odor there is a stench deep inside your lungs from the smoking you've done before or are still doing. People complain about "morning breath" but for a non-smoker that smell coming from deep inside first thing in the morning is seriously enough to turn your stomach. In my estimation it's just about the worst smell I've experienced.
The notion you connect on every level except this one says it's more important to him than to you------which is fine. Smokers always seem to forget the time when they didn't smoke and want others to accept this addiction and/or habit as something that's simply part of life, nothing to get all worked up over, that they're not bad people just because they smoke--------the list of reasons here is almost endless. There was a time when you made the choice to smoke and haven't made sufficient effort to quit even now. I agree it's your body, your health and in some ways your "right" to smoke; if it weren't for the fact it is so foul a smell I really couldn't care what you did.
As long as I don't have to breath your second hand smoke or smells and taste it on your body I really couldn't care what you do. However, if I were to once again date a smoker I'd have to put up with that----and I just won't at this point. I stopped dating smokers some 30 years ago and it was much more unimaginable and confusing back then than it is today.
Regardless what smokers say it's a choice and if you claim you're unable to stop that to me says volumes about your real inner resolve and mental power. It's far too convenient an excuse to say it's impossible if not very difficult therefore you don't or won't quit. Again, this is a choice and with some people you'll have to accept they have preferences that might exclude you, that some of those preferences outweigh a few other good points.
I'm 56 years old and only 5'6" tall-----women have "rejected" me because of those factors which I absolutely can NOT change and I've learned to deal with that---personal perferences. Sure it's too bad a guy stands up for what he wants or needs but it's not like this is something uncontrollable on your part!
Best of luck------ | |
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ryn48
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 48 | |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:35:17 PM | I grew up with smoking, my dad, all my aunts and uncles. At Christmas you could not even see across the room there was so much smoking going on. My dad, who was a two pack a day Export A smoker 30 years ago, went cold turkey to a two pack a day gum chewer, then tooth pick chewer (he had to let go of the tooth picks as he ws getting some trouble with the slivers in his throat). He never went back to cigarettes. The rest of them followed.
When I was dating I dated a man who smoked. The taste of the kisses never bothered me (maybe because of my history above?), but (at the risk of sounding gross) the taste of other things bothered me. On a smoker....everything tastes....off.
If you can't, or won't quit....then perhaps it won't work. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:45:13 PM | as an ex-smoker from years ago..... mints help a bit but does not cover up the smell on your skin, clothing, hair...... you ned the incentive, desire and balls to quit on your own when your ready.... not because of someone's wish or ultimatum...
I wonder though, part of the reason I have hesitated in the past dating a smoker was that I was afraid I might not have the strength to stay away from them..... I still wonder that but willing the attempt a meeting. I will say though that the smoking would be done outside, regardless of the weather.... my house is smoke free and none of my friends actually smoke, in that instance it probably would be a great incentive to quit.
In your own time girl......... you can't rush something like that. | |
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| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 3:54:15 PM | question from is if you met someone enjoyed there company thought things were great and then bam they light up whats your next move. curious as a person in transition you know what they say you will always be a smoker just in between butts just as an alcholic is only as good as his next drink.
also to syn48 is that true.
Mike | |
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