| |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:04:01 PM | Lady70 says:
"I guess maybe if he truly liked me then he would support me till i quit smoking in shortter terms guess he doesnt like me in that way at all ......"
Well, any relationship that depends on expectations and hopes is doomed from Day One. If people cannot accept each other exactly as they are, but think they can be changed, then it is not going to work.
Personally I would not waste my time on a smoker. It is not the stink, or the foul-tasting mouth. It is the fact that now the evidence is so clear that smoking is suicidal self-hatred, any smoker who will not get clean is labeling themselves as a loser. Nicotine addicts are pathetic addicts, just as crystal meth addicts are addicts, and anyone with an ounce of sense stays away from addicts.
My neighborhood RiteAid has dozens of aids to help you get free from the dirty habit. Then there's hypnosis. And the twelve-step program Nicotine Anonymous. There is really no reason for anyone to smoke any more unless they have a serious deficiency of self-esteem, and there is no way I want to get dragged down into the misery of their "self-hatred and cigarettes" world. I welcome winners to my life, and smokers are losers. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:09:04 PM | | If he really cared about you enough to want to go out with you, he would help you quit smoking, or be a little more understanding of your situation if you wasn't able to quit right away.....which is never a good idea. It's better to quit smoking gradually, rather than all at once. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:09:13 PM | OP. Just accept it and move on. Want to make sure it doesn't happen again? See your doctor, cry, scream, bury your head in your pillow for a month. Do what you must to quit. Or you can continue to smoke. It doesn't matter, as long as you do what you want FOR YOU.
I'm a smoker, but I have dated non smokers. No biggie, I just don't smoke when I'm dating them. As time goes by, I add to my "do not do" list when dating a smoker. I don't smoke in the house anymore because the smoke smelles up the house, furniture,, carpets, and clothes. I've recently stopped smoking in the car. Next step? Shampoo the car. Twice.
After that? Who knows. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:11:39 PM | | I do admit though, it's rather disgusting making out with someone who smokes who hasn't brushed their teeth and gargled with some mouth wash after they've smoked. It's like kissing a big ass ash trey. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:14:42 PM |
I think you have inspired alot of people to quit. Smoking is one of those things that one never really quits from except when doing it for yourself. Anything else is self-delusion. So if someone chooses to become a non-smoker to get more dates, expect that they will resume smoking once they find someone to be with. Not fair on the non-smoker.
I suggest tolerance. Most people will quit if they want to, when they are not being pressured to quit, and most people will never quit under pressure. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:57:27 PM |
just to follow up on some points made about passive smoking,there is plenty of evidence that nobody has died from passive smoking
see here
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1384583/posts
but then governments wouldnt feed us propaganda because its `for our own good`,would they?
thanks
john
I followed the link, and got to some other pages:
1) The summary results for the original study on passive smoking:
CONCLUSIONS: Our results indicate no association between childhood exposure to ETS and lung cancer risk. We did find weak evidence of a dose-response relationship between risk of lung cancer and exposure to spousal and workplace ETS. There was no detectable risk after cessation of exposure.
See http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=9776409&dopt=Abstract
2) Alcohol increases the risk of many cancers.
Processed meats, including luncheon meats, hams, and hot dogs and meats preserved by methods involving smoke or salt increases the risk of colorectal and stomach cancers.
Being overweight (BMI of 25) or obese (BMI of 30) is linked with an increased risk of cancers of the breast (among postmenopausal women), colon, endometrium, esophagus, kidney, and possibly other sites as well
Diets containing large amounts of foods preserved by salting and pickling are linked with an increased risk of stomach, nasopharyngeal, and throat cancer.
See http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_3_2X_Common_Questions_About_Diet_and_Cancer.asp
So, if you are against smoking because you don't like the smell, fair enough. Don't wear perfumes or aftershaves and keep away from anyone who wears them, and don't enter a house with air fresheners, because they also have a smell.
If you are against smoking because of the health-related issues, then don't drink more than 2 pints or 4 shots a week, don't eat ANY processed, smoked or salted meat, which means no hot dogs and no meat that was not bought FRESH from the butcher, and don't eat meat at ANY restaurants unless you KNOW they have only fresh meat from the butcher, don't eat any salted or pickled food, like salted nuts and pretzels, and make sure you are NOT overweight, which for a woman of 5'4" is a maximum of 178 pounds and for a 6'0" man is a maximum of 220 pounds.
There is a lot more, but these are only the things which clearly increase the risk of cancer, not including the things that lower cancer, like exercise, fruits and vegetables, garlic and water, or the things that scientists are unsure of.
You're looking at giving up meat, and getting fit, or being VERY careful about what you eat.
Anything else and you're applying a double standard. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:48:22 AM | scorpiomover
Let me just say Bologna.....No matter why you quit once you do and you see the benefits your not likely to start again. I quit 15 years ago due to work related PRESSURE. I'm glad now for pressure. Growing up with both parents smoking I had no idea how disgusting it was until I quit. And if OP inspired a couple of people to quit thats a good thing. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:36:06 AM | well in the end it is more about do you want to quit for yourself?
I am a smoker and I will quit for none until I am ready.
I accept a non smokers right to pass on me | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/16/2007 2:02:34 PM | | OP if the only reason that he isn't interested is because you smoke. And will only go out with you if you quit smoking. Then thank your lucky stars that you dodged the bullet. Controlling behavior starts with one little thing and escalates from there. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/16/2007 2:21:14 PM | | I have had this problem myself in a past relationship i smoke myself and my ex partner didnt he didnt like it and would always ask me to brush my teeth after having a smoke or have mints or gum handy,i dont think any man or woman should try and change there partner and it aint always easy giving up smoking i have been smoking for 7 yrs now and a couple of months back i tryed stopping and my current partner stayed away from me for 4 days and when he did appear he just gave me a fag as i was going mental at the slightest of things,i think you should give up smoking if you want to and when you are ready and if this man feels the same way as you he will be supportive | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:25:16 AM | My neighborhood RiteAid has dozens of aids to help you get free from the dirty habit. Then there's hypnosis. And the twelve-step program Nicotine Anonymous. There is really no reason for anyone to smoke any more unless they have a serious deficiency of self-esteem, and there is no way I want to get dragged down into the misery of their "self-hatred and cigarettes" world. I welcome winners to my life, and smokers are losers.
Wow, I don't think I've ever heard something so warm and caring. Something so sweet and not at all judgmental.
Dude...relax a bit. Sheesh, there are far bigger problems in the world than smokers and you should really put your super cool attitude towards ridding the world of judgmental butt heads. Just a thought.
Yikes. I am totally going to get a therapist now, I had no idea that I was involved in deep self hatred, and that I'm a loser. Sheesh. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:34:05 AM | | I guess I would say I prefer to date a non-smoker, but what if I were to meet someone in some hypothetical future and she fit everything else I would be looking for? Would I reject based on the fact that she smokes? I doubt it. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:38:50 AM | | Msg 107...great post...While some will say none of the other things can hurt others than the one doing it, unlike second hand smoke, I disagree. Certain perfumes and colognes make my throat close as I'm allergic to them; drunk driving can hurt or kill innocent people; processed foods, preservatives, and additives can cause cancer and other illnesses, including obesity - all of which raises health care premiums for everyone. Some studies are now showing second hand smoke isn't as bad for those around the smoker as they've been saying...just like they were wrong about birth control pills, coffee, and a glass of wine, eh? And is second hand smoke any worse than the car and factory exhaust we breathe every day no matter what? Get this, I had an ex who didn't like my smoking - and I couldn't do it in his house which was fine with me; but *he* had no problem with smoking pot every day - and doing it in the house. IMO, as long as people are considerate about their smoking habit, it's no one else's business - if one doesn't want to date a smoker, that's their preference...and if one doesn't want to date a hypocrite, that's also their preference. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:01:04 AM | HAHA Pro, great point! I didn't even think of that. I really do want to quit some day don't get me wrong, but the last guy I dated constantly ****ed about my smoking and made me feel bad about it so I never did it around him (I am a very in the closet smoker anyway) but he smoked a bag of weed a day and I hate the smell of that, but I have been sitting here reading all of this stuff thinking I was a bad person and then you reminded me of old doobie head. Thanks for making that point.
PS: I'm not condoning smoking, I'm simply making a point....however, I am very happy to have read this thread as it is very enlightening. (I'm being serious here) | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/24/2007 11:02:36 AM | I'm the one who first mentioned the Chantix in this thread. And let me tell you, the stuff really works. I paid $99 plus tax for 56 pills which is 4 weeks at two per day. I spent more than that on cigarettes. There has only been a couple of nights when I remotely thought about wanting a cigarette and it really wasn't even a craving, just a thought...and no, I didn't give in.
I no longer wake up in the mornings with a stuffy nose...which I did every morning when I was smoking. Could hardly breathe when I woke up from my nose being stopped up. I don't feel the urge to have a cigarette when I wake up or even after I eat. Like I said, the withdrawal symptoms are just not there with the Chantix.
Someone else mentioned taking Zyban. But the thing is, none of these other drugs work the way Chantix does. Chantix blocks the sensory part of the brain that gets the pleasure from the nicotine. Not only do I not feel the urge to smoke...when I did light one up after about a week of being on the Chantix a cigarette tasted like hot cardboard and you get nothing out of the nicotine...which is how it works in the first place.
I don't believe in the other stuff such as the nicotine substitutes...the patch, gum, etc....although it has helped some to quit. But the fact is...you are still ingesting nicotine, just in a different form. If you really want to quit get yourself a prescription for the Chantix. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/24/2007 11:45:04 AM | I just quit my habit a couple of weeks ago,..(yeay ME!!) - it is not easy - and there is alot to deal with when letting go of a crutch. You's be surprised of some of the suppressed stuff that comes to the surface.
As a smoker i was always aware and conscientious when it came to not snokers- (smoke down wind and blow smoke away from others) and i would only smoke outside.
If a partner that smokes does not show any regard for their partner or children- definately be aware that they won't bend over backwards for no one. Pretty selfish in my books.
Good luck to anyone who attempts to quit- and never give up .
Q | |
|
| |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:22:12 PM | I get lots of mail from non smokers. Non smoker's taste awful and smell bad. They don't realize it but everything they eat emits odors and makes me ill. They don't have the cigarette smoke to mask the other junk. Non smokers tend to be much more overweight, sweat more and that gives off more odors.
I don't tell others to start smoking. It's not my place to. I do wish they had an option here to not receive mail from non smokers like they have for not allowing a smoker to make contact.
Don't chase the guy and try to convince him to date you. He's a non smoker. Let it be since he obviously has objections. It's his right to choose to not date smokers. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:25:18 PM | I don't think I've ever heard anything as ridiculous in my entire life!
It’s the smokers who taste bad and they can’t taste or smell anything (particularly if they’re long term and heavy smokers) because the cigarettes that they’ve been smoking have killed off most of their taste buds!
And generally, non smokers aren’t over weight, sweat more or give off more odours. You’ll find it is the other way round. After all, who is the one who reeks of smoke? | |
|
| |
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:36:15 PM | Oh my...lol
It's really a very simple solution. If you don't smoke and don't like smokers, THEN DON'T DATE THEM. If you do smoke and don't want to hear the crap shoveled out by non-smokers who have foolishly (and most likely in desperation) convinced themselves it won't bother them, THEN DON'T DATE THEM. Smokers aren't going to curl up and die because a non-smoker wouldn't go out with them and non-smokers aren't going to give up on life because someone wouldn't quit for them. Move on. Read profiles all the way through. Ask questions. If you know someone smokes before you go out (and you absolutely should), be prepared for them to light up at some point. If you smoke and go out with a non-smoker, then be prepared for that "look" or that "groan" or that comment you KNEW was coming sooner or later. I've read a lot of profiles in which the person says they don't smoke, but then they admit to smoking in an email. Sometimes it's because they'd like to quit (well that doesn't mean you don't smoke) Sometimes they're just out right bs'ing (nice...) If you don't smoke and you find out your date does and this was the case, by all means, call them on their lie and walk. You have every right to do so. But if you knew they smoked.... then wtf is the problem?
I smoke. I've gone out with non-smokers and believe me it was discussed prior to going anywhere. Some worked out great because they had a brain and were in touch with reality. Others were obviously living in some fantasy world that made them think I wasn't really going to want to smoke just because they were there. duh....
Too many people just refuse to accept facts about other people. Why? Who knows. I think it's stupid. It's amazing how many people don't bother knowing even the basics about someone before they're starting their car to go meet you. THINK! If somebody told me they smoked weed and I started dating him then I guess I better be prepared in case he feels like lighting up what he smokes. What do I care? I knew, I went anyway. I don't get high, but if he does, and I know it, then why would I think he should stop doing something he obviously enjoys doing?
dreadstalker - I couldn't have said it better myself:
"OP if the only reason that he isn't interested is because you smoke. And will only go out with you if you quit smoking. Then thank your lucky stars that you dodged the bullet. Controlling behavior starts with one little thing and escalates from there." | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:45:23 PM | trs1958, thank you for the information about Chantix. It's easy for non-smokers and former smokers to go off on smokers. What many of them don't realize is that the more that it's discussed when someone is trying to quit, the more it becomes a focus and starts the craving all the more. I have come to hate ads on radio and television telling us how to quit. It makes me want to run and light one up. I smoke outside so I have to make an effort to smoke. I won't confide in anyone when I am trying to quit or cut back. Any time I have they constantly question how I'm doing instead of relying on their senses to tell them I'm still off. I quit for a year once and took a trip with two other women. The entire 3 hour time in the car was interspersed with "I hope you don't smoke around me." "I can't stand cigarette smoke, so don't smoke around me." and on and on. My reply was honest, that I hadn't smoked in over a year. Didn't change it. I wanted to leave that vehicle, get a pack and blow smoke in her face. I never once resorted to asking her how her diet was going, talking about body types or anything that might have made her uncomfortable.
My point is, let the smoker who is trying to quit, quit. Don't harp on it. If they bring it up, cheerlead, don't chastize. Listen and empathize, just as you would if someone were ill or injured. If someone is addicted to sugar or diabetic, it's cruel to discuss an array of wonderful desserts and candies and what their merits are. Why discuss addiction with an addict unless you're their counselor? I just don't get it. Yes, you hear frustration. | |
|
| smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:50:21 PM |
I am not exactly a chain smoker - I think it would be great if some little cutie pie came along and ..... umm came up with umm ...... incentives for me not to smoke Um Ron? Those incentives have a huge possiblility of ending with a cigerette. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
