| Compliment??
Posted: 7/16/2007 4:44:44 PM | Don't get bent out of shape over words, it was a compliment, accept as exactly that. Someone once said to me "girl look how fat you are", I could have been mean and responded rudely but I know what I look like therefore what that person said meant nothing.
Jadetoo,
Maybe whoever said that meant "phat"  | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:47:39 PM | It was obviously a compliment. Accept it as such.
A much bigger compliment is when someone tells you you're beautiful without ever having seen you :) | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 7/16/2007 10:31:15 PM | Silentstream.....Are you playing with my name?
I think you may be going a little off topic here, committment wasn't mentioned, the word in question is Compliment.
As I said earlier, accept and acknowledge the compliment, I think it's sweet to receive compliments. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2007 10:33:28 PM | | Wow SilentStream...you have stunned me into silence. That doesn't happen often *smiles* | |
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Posted: 7/17/2007 8:50:39 PM |
Don't get bent out of shape over words, it was a compliment, accept as exactly that. Someone once said to me "girl look how fat you are", I could have been mean and responded rudely but I know what I look like therefore what that person said meant nothing.
Jadetoo,
Maybe whoever said that meant "phat"
...Yes, the expressions, meanings and phrases have certainly changed over the years haven't they? Some of today's expressions are so over used and some I find a bit crude...and I'm not always sure of their meaning either.
...maeflowers | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:09:00 AM | Like many before me said, take it as a compliment. Perhaps also working on raising your self-esteem a few notches would make it easier to take the compliment for what it is, and nothing more. You appeared to take it as an attack. If someone said that to me( I frequently get told I look younger then I am), I would just laugh, and say, "thank-you". I have put my foot in my mouth in the past, and would catch myself, mortified, and then end up laughing and say, "oh goodness, that is not what I meant..what I MEANT WAS..."..but, by then it is already too late..but anyone with good self-esteem would just laugh along with me while I try and get rid of the red in my face. It is all in the perception of how you take things....and I seriously think he was giving you a compliment. I got an email recently from someone who had stood me up wanting a second chance. THe email read something like this: yo..going to be nice and warm this weekend i was thinking of taking the canoe out and some beer..want to come along and give me another chance. i may have lost my chance..
If you read my profile you would see that this is not my type of person, that I seek integrity, etc. I would much rather get an email like you did about looking young "for my age" then the one I shared above.
Lighten up...live, and laugh!
Heavenscent1 | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 5/22/2008 5:18:47 AM | | I was just wundering why you felt compelled to pad you age by15 or so years | |
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Posted: 5/22/2008 6:10:44 AM | When I hear that, I always say: (I realize people mean it as a compliment), but I like to educate them....I tell them that I simply.........look GOOD (regardless of age). They usually think about what they said, and "get it." Words are powerful. I know they MEAN it as a compliment, but that isn't how I hear it.
I say it tactfully, but I think it important to let people know how their words affect you.
I am the moderator of an abused survivors' group, and am so sensitive to words, feelings, etc., etc.....
Rossal | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 5/22/2008 6:21:00 AM | It's a compliment of course. We know how obsessed some women are about "getting old". We don't want you to misinterpret us. If we say:
"You look hot" - (He's *only thinking of sex.)
"You look great" - (humph.... he doesn't think I'm beautiful?)
"You look good" - (Not a fox? A pox on him)
"You look beautiful" - (No I don't. He only wants something.)
"You look ok" - "KILL HIM!!" (or he's trying to get you out the door for dinner)
"You look ok for your age" - "KILL HIM THEN BURN HIM!!" (this is an insult)
If he says "you are very good-looking for your age", he's trying to let you know that you look better than most women your age. He's also respectfully telling you that he'd love to have sex with you.
It's very difficult for a man to try and explain a very simple phrase that comes out of a very simple thought process, to someone who has a very complex thought process, without innocently ending up with a foot in the mouth. | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 5/22/2008 6:38:55 AM | | It was a compliment. He could have left out the qualifying phrase and simply said you looked good, which you do! Many men mean well but are not articulate or well practiced in complimenting women. | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:44:00 AM | | Too bad the man didn't put the period after good-looking. Hey, you're good looking for any age! I'd give the man the benefit of the doubt and just say "Thank you." He might be a very nice guy, you never know. Good luck. | |
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tosolo
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Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 62 | |
| Compliment??
Posted: 5/22/2008 1:11:29 PM | | I had to smile when i read your post, i had a similar comment in that he said i bet your daughters are gorgeouse! what am i supposed to say to that. | |
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Posted: 5/22/2008 1:37:08 PM | | This was a great post. And so true to form. No wonder you're sam-spade!!! When guys email me and say "You are Hot" or You Look Hot, I dont even look at the profile, I simply hit DELETE. I love that little key. | |
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Posted: 5/22/2008 2:47:21 PM | I also used to love getting the "I like older women." A real gentleman doesn't bring up a woman's age.
You look great would have been a nice compliment. I guess some men need lessons on manners etc. | |
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Posted: 5/22/2008 2:51:13 PM | Recently I was amidst a group of 30 or so women and one was relating to the others that she ran into her 58 year old ex-husband whom she said, for his age is still good looking. The others all applauded her and seemed happy and cheerful about her comment yet if I were to have told them I ran into my ex-wife who still looks attractive for her age they would have been quite unhappy with my comment. I know, I have made such comments in the past and the results were not pretty!
Why do women find it fine and dandy to say a man looks good for his age but if a man says a woman looks good for her age they get upset? | |
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| Compliment??
Posted: 5/22/2008 5:11:29 PM | OK, I checked iffmaestra's profile and the guy made a mistake. She did NOT say she wanted him to be honest.
What I see is a man who won't allow himself to be considered a smooth-talkin' BS artist, yet wished to express his good opinion of her appearance in support of her self-esteem.
Because honesty is at best worthless ( his compliment went unheard ) or more likely objectionable, and because he obviously has a hard time with empty flattery, iffmaestra should probably write him off. They aren't going to get along. | |
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Posted: 5/22/2008 11:11:23 PM | | he was "trying" to give you a compliment. It does happen, although it is a kick in the stomach when it does. | |
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Posted: 5/23/2008 7:07:49 AM | I was just looking at the pics in your profile, and wow, that's really hot, do you have a bass boat to go with that hot look'n truck?
we live in strange times , our lives come down to a delete key, we can say too much,,or not enough, your certainly an attractive woman, and most likely leave a lot of guys speachless just try to cut us a little slack | |
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Posted: 5/23/2008 7:41:16 AM | I get told I look good......... for my age......... all the time. Doesn't bother me in the least. I know how these old bones feel, LOL
Actually, people just need to get over the fact that everyone isn't perfect, and take the compliments when they can. Maybe 10 years from now they won't say that.  | |
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Posted: 7/5/2008 11:08:21 AM | I think it's hilarious- in my sick mind I would've thought, "or for a cow?"
Not YOU, OP- I'm just always finding a hilarious twist on things.
If that happened to me I probably would've said nothing but "thank you" if it was our first convo. If we had already chatted a bit I would've playfully pointed it out to the man. Some will get defensive.
He was probably surprised that you looked as youthful as you do, altho I have no idea what your age is. I do get that a lot, along with the "older woman" comment [it's MATURE dudes, we're MATURE!!!]
I think it was most kind that he inquired about how you and the kids are doing which was VERY thoughtful, and does not just smack of I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU NOW.
At least if it does I prefer his smooth approach! [Listen up fellas!!] | |
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